I do not own smash brothers. I do own smash sisters! Pretty boring though. No fighting...just a lot of screaming, yelling, and castrating. Everything a sister does :()p
The floating clouds of dust eventually settled upon the ground. When each of the people who were present looked over themselves, little harm actually came to them.
Ash wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Man, that was close, huh Kirby-chu?"
Kirby was still devouring the entire breakfast buffet that was meant for them all.
Watching Kirby consuming pile after pile of food irritated Ash.
"Kirby-chu, you put down that steak right now!"
He walked over and yanked away the tasty morsel.
"My food!" Howled Kirby who proceeded to attempt a rescue of his breakfast.
In response, Ash held the steak up high. Kirby's jumps to reach the piece of meat were woefully short.
Ash shook his head vehemently. "You can't eat this, Kirby-chu. You have to get in shape for the 'Nothing Special' league."
He was to participate in an arena with thousands of Ashes? He had to do something. He gathered up all the electrical energy within his Pikachu hat and blasted Ash.
A giant column of electrical energy burst forth from his cheeks and blazed a massive furrow that stretched for kilometres.
When the last vestiges of the energy column faded, Ash was gone.
Brock stood there with his mouth hanging in disbelief.
"You killed him…"
He rapidly made his way towards Kirby.
Sensing danger, but too drained from his attack, Kirby waited for the inevitable beating from a grief-stricken Brock.
Brock instead picked him up and gave him a bear hug. Tears of joy were streaming down his face.
"Oh, thank you, Kirby-chu. The witch is finally dead!"
Kirby made a confused face. "What?"
Munchkins began appearing out of nowhere.
"Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The Wicked Witch!"
Strange creatures and pokemon started prancing around and singing. Kirby tried to resist the urge to zap them all.
Suddenly they grew quiet and pointed towards space. The sky turned an azure pink as a fairy descended amongst the throngs.
"Kirby-chu," said the heavenly being, "you have defeated the plague that has upset our lands for years. For that we all thank you."
Kirby was still in shock, but he managed to recover.
"Ash was an idiot, but what did he do that was monstrous?"
"Why, Kirby-chu," said a genuinely surprised fairy, "you should know that to be in his presence is agony."
Kirby scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Come to think of it," he admitted, "I have been losing my will to live the moment I met him. His stupidity is certainly painful."
The fairy laughed melodiously. "As a reward Kirby-chu, I shall grant you a wish of your desire."
Kirby knew what to wish.
"I wish to be free from Mr. Tiyamato's control!"
The fairy's face distorted slightly in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, Kirby-chu, but you must fulfill your obligations."
"Oh," said a disenchanted Kirby.
The fairy tried to console him. "Kirby-chu, surely there must be a wish to you want. Perhaps wealth, power, or fame?"
Kirby began scanning his memory, for pieces and fragments concerning his worries, hates. When he found the wish of his desire an evil, cruel grin became public.
He gestured the fairy to bend down to his height. Complying with his wishes, the fairy floated lower and bent down. Kirby whispered his wish.
The fairy's face contorted in restraint laughter.
"Now that wish, I can do."
A wave of her arm sent a spray of magic through the air.
"Farewell, Kirby. May you find joy in your wish."
She started flying away. Everyone watched her ascend towards the clouds.
A tap on the shoulder brought Kirby out his gazing.
"So, what did you wish for?" asked Mr. Tiyamato.
Kirby flashed a demonic smile, with complementary demonic teeth.
"Revenge."
Lionel Hutz surveyed his surroundings. Everywhere he laid his eyes eye, was harmony. Dogs were sharing with cats. Republicans were joking with Democrats. Even the weather was perfect. Absolutely no conflict could be seen.
"Wha..What's going on? Why isn't there any fighting? Where are the lawsuits and the rampaging injustice?"
A little girl tugged at his jacket.
"You're in Hell, mister. In this place, lawyers don't exist. Therefore, everything is at peace. Ironic isn't it?"
Hutz collapsed to his knees.
"No…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"By the way, I brought someone to keep you company."
She snapped her fingers. A boy in a red cap appeared.
"Hi," he said while extending his hand, "my name is Ash."
Mr. Tiyamato gave Kirby a pat on the back.
"Nice one K-man."
"Thanks," replied Kirby.
Tiyamato removed the Pikachu hat, only to replace it with Mario's headgear.
Kirby patted at his head. "I thought I was done with the Mario universe."
Mr. Tiyamato shook his head in irritation.
"The princess has been kidnapped again."
Kirby folded his arms and sat down.
"I ain't rescuing that bitch. The last time we met, she thought I was cotton candy."
Mr. Tiyamato frowned at his underling.
"You forget your place, Kirby. All I have to do is snap my fingers and viola, you'll be in the Mushroom kingdom."
And so, Mr. Tiyamato did just that.
"Heh," he thought, "having godlike abilities over someone is cool."
The mushroom retainer quickly hopped off the warp pipe and entered into the hut of the famous Kirbio.
"Kirbio! Kirbio! Wake up!" The retainer started prodding Kirby who was fast asleep. "You have to save our princess!"
Kirby just rolled away from the frantic servant. "Let her save herself," he muttered drowsily. "She has to learn the importance of not leaving the castle gate open."
The retainer just redoubled his annoying efforts.
He started jumping on the bed. "But our frail and weak princess is in another castle other then her own."
"Frail? Have you been consuming your LSD stash?" He pointed at the retainers mushroom hat.
"Sir Kirbio, I don't understand why you keep associating the hats of my people with illicit drugs. The citizens of the mushroom kingdom are clean and law-abiding."
Kirbio just waved a languid arm in contempt. "I don't want to hear about it. This entire kingdom is obsessed with mushrooms. Mushroom houses, people wearing mushroom hats, morphing into mushrooms, as well as princesses named after mushrooms. It wouldn't be surprising if your people built a religion around mushrooms and intoxicated themselves as a sign of fealty. The capture of princess Toadstool was probably nothing more than a hallucination on your part. Now go away, I want to sleep until lunch."
Kirby gestured at the door and then pulled the covers over his head.
The retainer stood his place. He reached into his vest pocket and produced a letter.
"Here, Kirbio, actually proof that our princess has been captured."
The retainer shoved the letter into Kirby's face.
Wearily, Kirby plucked the letter from the retainers grip and perused it.
"Dear Kirbio," began the greeting, "was sup, this be Big B."
Kirby snorted. Everyone wanted to have a hip-hop alias these days.
He continued reading the letter.
"As you may know I have kidnapped the princess, yet again. I wouldn't have to do keep doing this if you just stop leeching my fridge. This time, I want you to pick up a dozen cases of Jack Daniels and several dozen tons of meat, and it doesn't matter from what animal. Use Peach's credit card, I left it on her dresser this time. You had better hurry up. You remember how increasingly annoying the retainers become the longer their princess is absent. I imagine your plea in the court will be that it was justified homicide."
The letter ended in an elaborate script. "See you soon, Bowser."
Kirbio pondered over the letter, which was difficult since the retainer was screaming throughout the time he took reading the letter.
"SHUT THE F!## UP!" Kirby screamed at the him, "I'M F##### GOING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I'M GOING, SO SHUT UP ALREADY!"
He kicked the retainer out of his way and stormed out of the hut.
"Hooray," said the barely conscious retainer, "our noble hero is going to make everything all right."
Kirby took the time to toss a bomb into the hut. He only took a few steps towards the warp pipe when the bomb detonated with thundering force.
Kirby was sent flying towards the warp pipe. He slammed into the structure with moderate force. He had a slight headache. But it was all worth it. That was one of Toadstool's subjects who wasn't going to bother him. He jumped into the warp pipe with a smile on his face.
Amidst the flaming rubble, a figure emerged from ruins.
"Sir Kirbio," said a weak voice, "I require some assistance."