I don't own smash brothers...I got nothing else to say.

(On with the SHOW!)

Kirby was nearly at Bowser's castle. As of this moment, the sky was blue and the sun was waving hello. Kirby started to wave back, except the fact that suns don't wave made him hesitant.

The next step brought about a dramatic change in scenery. In the far distance a giant behemoth monster was roaming through the lands. The sky became pitch black and thunder; rain and lightning came in droves. Eerie phantoms circled the pink puff, whispering words of madness.

When Kirby just kept right on walking casually the ghosts became irritated. One of them floated right up to him.

He jabbed a ghostly skeletal finger at Kirby's face. "Hey buddy, whatsa matter with ya. We are ghosts. We say boo you jump. Gotit?"

Kirby stared coolly at the ghost.

"Halloween's past, remember? The author had his chance to make a creepy chapter but it was too late. It doesn't make sense to make one at this point.

"NOO!" Shrieked the ghosts.

Crazy realized that Kirby was right. He trashed the story and started a new one.

Before him, in its putrid glory, was the castle of Bowser. As intimidating as the massive structure was, it was the bodies around the moat that drew his attention. The piles of unconscious, possibly dead, troopers of the Turtle king made him consider the necessity for a "rescue."

In considering that the event in which he didn't rescue the princess, he estimated that he only had to suffer for a week from the inane babbling and screaming of the retainers before going mad. After that, he'd be too crazy to care about anything.

And the princess seemed distant at times, with all the ear-piercing shrieks and chronic impulse to threaten her subjects with whipping and the shredding of their organs. She was in desperate need of a peer to relate. This was an opportunity for her to establish a rapport with Bowser who, coincidentally, happened to be a king. Well soon to be dead king, but it would be a start.

Just as he started to head back to the Mushroom kingdom, aka Stonerville, he felt a claw clasp weakly around his right ankle. He gazed downwards and saw a beat up koopa.

"Help..us, please. You are our last hope."

The koopa chocked and gasped before keeling over.

Kirby poked him a couple of times.

"Yep, he's definitely dead. Time to go home."

Unfortunately, Kirby felt a moral conflict build up within. His body refused to leave the vicinity of the castle.

"Crap, why was I designed to be a hero?"

Reluctantly, in accordance with his conscious, he walked over the drawbridge and through the castle gate.

He tried not to dwell on the detail that like Toadstool, Bowser also did not lock his castle gate.

"F(!(#, I'm surrounded by morons."

(Inside Bowsers castle)

Bowser opened up his freezer and took out bag of ice. Gingerly he applied it to his swollen cheeks.

He thought of the mess that he got himself in. So far, there were several of his troopers missing. The castle was in a desperate need of a mason. All those gaps and breaches, created by the princess, created a cold draft. The worst transgression that she committed was the emptying of his fridge. Oh, and his troops were psychologically traumatized beyond recovery.

His memory reminded him that the princesses last abduction attempts, though costly at his expense, were never at the magnitude of collateral damage that she brought forth these past weeks.

He checked the time on the clock.

"Time to tranq the princess again."

He shouldered the strap of a tranq chain gun and headed towards his chambers. Nearly at his quarters, he stopped and stared in terror. The entire hallway was littered with bodies. The stone floors and walls were smeared with blood. And the door to his chambers was busted wide open.

With one trembling hand he primed the chain gun while reaching for his comlink with the other.

"Command," he whispered hoarsely, "I am issuing a code red. The princess is out of her room. Send all squadrons of S.W.A.T. to this location. Repeat this is a cod-"

The sound of claw on stone shocked him, causing him to drop his com unit. Wildly, back and forth, he directed his gun to his left than right. But she wasn't in sight. The entire hallway was clear.

Though he couldn't see her, he felt her presence. Like the Reaper had draped his cloak on him.

He bent down slowly to retrieve his com link, never taking his eyes off the corridors. A drop of drool splashed on his shoulder.

He shut his eyes; his fear had him totally paralysed. He heard a loud thump and right before her claw clamped on his shoulder, he silently wished he wore depends.

(Cut back to Kirby)

All around him were either moaning turtles or dead goombas. The walls were breached in several areas and there was blood and vomit everywhere. It reminded Kirby of a soccer match in Britain only much tamer.

He heard a loud scream. He realized that it was Bowser. All those times that he waxed those tree trunk legs, he never shouted that loudly in pain.

Quickly he rushed up the stairs, stopping periodically to catch his breath.

"Damnit," he gasped, "why didn't he installed elevators."

As he made it to the top floor, he found Bowser beaten within an inch of death. He kicked him a couple of times. Bowser responded with a groan.

His eyes flickered opened. "Glad you made it Kirbio. Hope you got the food."

Kirby nodded. "I got it outside. Now what the hell happened."

Bowser waved his claw around weakly. "Are you blind? I got the shit beaten out of me."

Kirby grinned. "I think you mean you got the shit scared out of you. Than you were beaten up."

Bowser tried to retort, but became caught in a spasm of coughs.

Before Kirby walked off Bowser uttered a warning.

"Kirbio, the princess, she's a werewolf!"

Kirby just nodded. "Just lay there and pretend to be dead," he ordered, "I got an ace up my sleeve."

Bowser gave his best to chuckle. "I'm not going anywhere, idiot."

He gasped in pain before passing out.

Several hallways from Bowser, Kirby pulled out a steak from within his inner dimensional pocket.

"Here doggy," he called, "come get the juicy meat."

The moment he heard a roar he tossed the steak down the corridor. He ducked down, barely avoiding the blur of fur. What he saw terrified and disgusted him.

The lycanthrope form of the princess was monstrous in size. Blood matted her fur, drool flowed in rivers from her gaping maw. The only way he could identify her as Peach was the stupid crown on her head.

The werewolf gobbled down the small appetizer and now was eyeing Kirby.

Gathering together his courage and wit he nervously gave her an arrogant smirk.

"Looks like your appearance finally matches your personality. How're you feeling?"

The princess roared loudly, spraying spittle on the ground.

Kirby resisted the urge to flee. "Yeah, you may be bigger, faster, stronger, and…uglier, but I got something that'll take you down in one shot."

He reached into his mouth and pulled out a spherical device.

He waved it around and whistled. "Here girl, see the ball, see how shiny it is, you want it?"

The killing intent of the princess immediately vanished. She sat on her haunches and begged.

"Well, fetch girl." He tossed it down the hallway.

Peach bounded down the hallway. She pounced on the ball and picked it up in her jaw.

Kirby whipped out a trigger. "Nighty night, you furball from Hell."

A trigger of the button set off the thermal detonator. A loud explosion, followed by a wave of intense heat rippled through the hallway, destroying it. When the dust settled the werewolf princess was unconscious and well done.

Kirby emerged from the rubble and dusted himself off.

"Like any animal, you follow your instincts." He said as he walked towards the fallen lycanthrope. He stopped a few feet from her body.

"Yours was the need to do something stupid."

He threw the trigger at the fallen werewolf and walked back downstairs. Back on the first floor, Mr. Tiyamato greeted him.

"Kirby," he said with cheer, "I have good news."

"Oh joy," Said a less than happy Kirby, "what could it be? Does it involve giving a suppository to a dragon?"

Tiyamato draped an arm over Kirby.

"Even better!" He declared. "The nuns have decided to drop the lawsuit. In return they want the right to beat the crap out of Captain Falcon at any time they want."

Kirby scratched his head. "What does Captain Falcon say about this?"

Tiyamato starred in amusement. "Do you care?"

Kirby thought about it and discovered that no, he didn't.

"So," inquired Kirby, "do I get to go home?"

Tiyamato nodded. "Of course, there is no need for you to carry on the obligations of those slackers."

Mr. Tiyamato snapped his fingers. In a brilliant flash, Kirby disappeared from sight. He glanced at the smoking ruin of the princess.

"I guess I should've checked if that pet wolf I gave you was a lycanthrope, huh Peach?"

The princess, of course, said nothing.

(Meanwhile, back in Dreamland!)

He felt it somewhat strange to walk in Dreamland again. It seemed so peaceful and tranquil.

He snapped out of his reverie when his rumbling stomach demanded to be filled. He flipped out Peach's credit card.

"It's gut busting time!"

He dashed off with a mission to discover Peach's credit limit through a scientific process: Purchase any item of food that was in sight until the card was rejected.

The End

Finally, the story is finished! I've been awake since I started writing it. I need some sleep. ZZzZZZzZZZZZZzZZzZz