Dobby walked shyly into the dating agency building. His big socked feet were so shaky that he kept tripping over. A lady with a big fake smile that was obviously hiding her disgust and a long string of pearls came up to him.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked him, her pearly teeth glinting so brightly that Dobby was almost blinded.

"Hm?" Dobby squeaked, taken by surprise. He blushed.

"This is a dating agency, did you have any queries?"

"Er…yes…I mean YES!"

"Well?"

"I was er looking for a…a…" He rocked on his feet and suddenly felt a bit dizzy, "well I was looking for a partner…" He looked down at his feet and tried to focus on the yellow, purple and orange flowers on his socks.

"Of course sir, and which species in particular?" He looked up, his eyes growing wider so that they had magnified to the size of tennis balls.

"Well, preferably a house-elf of some sort…I think…"

"I'll just check for you sir." She went behind her desk and typed something into a computer, "Male, female or hermaphrodite?" She asked.

"I…" He blushed again, but this time the red was the same colour as his burgundy pillowcase.

"Yes?" She urged him.

"Well to be honest I'm not that fussy."

"Right, I'm afraid we don't have any house-elves in at the moment, but if you are interested in that kind of size or a related species of some sort, we have a few hobbits and dwarfs on our database.

Dobby looked up at her, his eyes approaching a dangerous size. Dobby had a terrible memory of a particular hobbit from his school. He had asked out a hobbit called Sam who had laughed in his face at the proposition. But then again Sam had already been infatuated with another class-mate, a Mr. Frodo…

"Blue-eyed bastard…" Said Dobby, unconscious that he was saying it out loud.

"Excuse me?" She took off her horn-rimmed spectacles and fixed her blue eyes upon his crimson face.

"Oh no!" He said quickly, "just a bad experience I had with a hobbit a long time ago. But I'm still interested!"

"Well we have one hobbit…looks as though he was badly mistreated poor fellow, by the name of Gollum. Never gets any dates, but I assure you he is the sweetest creature you'll ever come across. He came in muttering forlornly about 'precious' which I presume is some lost love of his. Such big, sad eyes. Why don't you give him a chance?"

"W-well I…" Dobby contemplated the matter. He sounded quite sensitive which Dobby quite liked, although he hoped not as sensitive as his ex-girlfriend Winky… "Alright then. Can you tell me anything about him?"

"Let me just look on his interests list. Ah here we are… He says he likes…oh, well he's just put one thing on the list though I'm sure he has a lot of interests…"

"What is it?"

"He says he likes rings."