A/U: This story is totally different from anything else I've ever written its just pure fluff. Any true serious tone in the story is purely accidental.
Sometimes you write a story to be a bit dramatic and to make a point or have some good action and other times you write a story to be just plain crazy this is an example of the latter. It's a really weird story that I cooked up after many late night discussions with my friends. So if you think it's stupid sorry, its half meant to be like that
I thought of this story after seeing the Mtv movie awards when Gollum won the award for best virtual character the fact that Smeagol mentions that Dobey was his friend is pretty much it; but anyways I hope that you like it.
The story is set in the first part of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Dobey asked his new found friend Smeagol to go warn Harry Potter not to go back to Hogwarts unfortunately by the time Smeagol e he gets to Harry's house Gollum is trying to take over and he hates Dobey and everything that involves him. Like Harry for instance. With that I give you
Harry Potter and Gollum's Chamber of Secretses'
Harry was lying on his bed pretending that he didn't exist. His Uncle Vernon was having a very important dinner with his clients. Harry longed to be at Hogwarts although he had kept Dudley scared stiff with the thought of Harry giving him another pig tail, the summer had still proven to be just as bad as others that Harry could remember. He could hear laughter coming from down the stairs, apparently Uncle Vernon had cracked one of his over used, practiced jokes. Harry stared at the door wishing for freedom when suddenly he heard a loud thump coming from the floor by his window. Harry turned startled to see a pale ghastly thin creature huddled on the floor its face was cupped in its hands it was no larger than a small child
"Who are you? What do you want?" Harry demanded worried that his relatives might had heard the creatures entrance. It didn't respond it just remained huddled suddenly it spoke
"Smeagol," It said sinisterly
"Go away!" It said again yet its voice was softer and more innocent
"The nasty boy asked us a question. What do we wants Smeagol?"
"Smeagol?" Harry asked his alarm quickly turning into curiosity "Is that your name?"
"Yes!" It said looking up at Harry relieved to hear someone else say that name "My name is Smeagol!" he got up and looked at Harry "You are Harry Potter?"
"Yes" Harry responded suddenly Smeagol cheered and jumped onto Harry's bed and began to bounce
"We've found you! Yes we did! We told Dobey we would yes, precious!"
"Shhhhhh!" Harry said "You have to be quiet my Uncle will hear you!"
Smeagol stopped jumping and looked around frightened as if Harry's Uncle was to barge in at any moment.
"Big fat man" Smeagol said
"Yes he is and he has a terrible temper, so keep it down. Now tell me what you want." Harry insisted
"We have come to warn you!" Smeagol said "Our friend Dobey says that terrible things will happen if you goes back to Hogwarts. Dobey says that you will die." Suddenly he turned his head and said in a different darker voice "We hopes so and Dobey too. We don't want to help. You know what we wants Smeagol!"
"No Gollum!" Smeagol said "Dobey's our friend!"
"Gollum?" Harry asked
"We can't let the boy know about the Chamber of...." Suddenly Smeagol stopped "Oh no. Dobey told us that if we says that we have to punish ourselves." Smeagol quickly grabbed a lamp and smashed it over his head knocking himself out cold. Harry ran over trying to help the poor creature, suddenly he heard heavy footsteps on the stairs.
Oh no! Uncle Vernon!" Harry exclaimed he quickly hid Smeagol in the closet. Just as Uncle Vernon opened the door.
"What happened?" He demanded looking at the mess in Harry's room.
"Ummm. I was feeding Hedwig and I fell of my stool." Harry lied
"I want no funny business" His Uncle growled as he shut the door.
"Yes sir," Harry said quickly he opened the cupboard to see Smeagol hunched over
"Stupid Smeagol" Gollum said "Stupid Dobey!" he suddenly looked up at Harry
"Who's Dobey?" Harry asked
"Dobey is a nasty false elf. We hates him! Makes us walk all this way, get chased by nasty scary dogses, and for what precious! For what?! Talk to stupid boy. So he doesn't die in stupid school."
"I have to go back to Hogwarts" Harry said "It's my home that's where my friends will be."
"You don't have any friends!" Gollum smirked. "No precious they hates you!"
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Harry fumed
"Yes precious it is!" Gollum laughed "No letters for stupid boy!"
Harry was taken back. He had written his friends the whole summer but hadn't received a single response.
"Stupid Human boy wants to know a secret?" Gollum asked smiling sneakily
"Yes," Harry replied
"We will tell you why he gets no letters if he gives us something to eat. We're starving!" Gollum snapped
"But I can't go down stairs if my Uncle sees me I'll be grounded for life if I'm lucky" Harry said
"Then we won't tell you!" Gollum snapped as he folded his arms and turned away then almost as quickly turned around and jumped to Harry's feet "Please We're dying we needs to eat give us something."
"But I..." Harry began then he remembered he had some candy in his pocket. This was his chance to find out the secret "Smeagol,...Gollum or whatever your name is, guess what I have in my pocket!"
Suddenly Gollum looked up with a horrified angry look. "What did you say?" He asked
"Guess what I have in my pocket, tell me the secret and I'll give it to you." Harry replied
"The Precious!" Gollum said beginning to grow angry. "The Baggins stole it! Give it to us!"
"What ?" Harry asked backing up as Gollum got up and began to stare at Harry's pocket.
"You have the Precious in your nasty pocket! IN YOUR NASTY LITTLE POCKETSES!"
"Shhhhhh" Harry said frantically
"GIVE IT TO US!" Gollum lunged at Harry who bolted for the door not knowing what to do. Harry ran down the stairs with Gollum screaming after him.
"PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!"
"HELP!" Harry screamed running into the parlor. Harry's relatives, and their guests stared in disbelief looking up from the cake that Aunt Petunia had just brought in and was about to slice.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Uncle Vernon erupted
"He's after me!" Harry ranted then he suddenly realized that Gollum was no longer behind him.
"This is my nephew!" Vernon squirmed trying to cover up "he's deranged! Strangers upset him and..." Before he could finish this lie. There was a loud yell as Gollum jumped out of a nearby corner and flew into his target which was no longer Harry but the large cake that was dessert. Gollum landed in the cake splattering it all over the guests who screamed in terror. Dudley thinking with his stomach rather than his brain lunged at Gollum.
"That's my cake!" He screamed as he tried to grab on to the famished creature. Gollum immediately spun around and jumped onto Dudley and began to pummel and choke him.
"STUPID FAT BOY!" he screeched "TRIES TO TAKE NICE SWEETS FROM US!"
Although Harry found the scene rather amusing and satisfying he knew he had to stop it. Harry ran up stairs to get his wand. He knew that he couldn't practice magic but he hoped that the sight of a wand would scare Gollum into submission. When Harry returned the scene had gone from bad to worse. The guests were fleeing leaving their coats and making a run for it and Gollum was wrestling with Dudley who's face was now turning a bright purple and at the same time Uncle Vernon was grabbing at Gollum trying to remove him Aunt Petunia had fainted and was lying on the floor. Suddenly Gollum caught sight of Uncle Vernon's wedding ring.
"MY PRECIOUS!" He yelled and spun around and attacked Uncle Vernon's hand trying to remove the ring biting and pulling. Uncle Vernon finally threw the creature down and began to chase him down the hall. Straight towards Harry, who upon seeing Gollum and his obese Uncle barreling down on him quickly began to run as well. Gollum pounced on to Harry and wrapped himself around the boy. Harry struggled to his feet and began to try to pry Gollum off.
"HIDE US PRECIOUS AND WE GIVES YOU THE LETTERSES!" he screamed. While Harry struggled Uncle Vernon had grabbed an umbrella and approached Harry.
"Boy!" he said raising the umbrella above his head "Hold very still!" Gollum screamed and jumped off Harry in the nick of time from getting clobbered by the make shift weapon. With pure luck the umbrella missed Harry by just inches. Gollum ran terrified into Harry's room. Just then Uncle Vernon caught sight on of Harry's wand.
"SO!" he bellowed "You're controlling this monster!"
"no," Harry said alarmed "I was trying to get him to stop!"
"LIAR!" Uncle Vernon yelled grabbing Harry by the back of the shirt and dragged him up the stairs, and threw open Harry's door. Gollum was no where to be seen, but Vernon was already past caring venting his rage on his nephew.
"If you're so intent on ruining my life," he yelled as he threw Harry into the room "Then I'll ruin yours! You can stay in your room with that 'thing' for the rest of the summer and you'll never go back to that freakish school of yours!"
"NO!" Harry yelled as his uncle slammed the door in his face.
Harry slammed his fist into his closet door in anger. He heard a distinctive yelp. Harry threw the door open to see Gollum cowering in the corner.
"YOU!" Harry growled
"Nice boy." Gollum swallowed
So what do you think feedback would be great. If I get enough I'll continue the story I won't do the whole movie but parts (it would take way to long otherwise