This is chapter X: To serve man, it's a cook book!
"What an interesting place." Bloom said as she looked around the fog-choked streets. "Now to find Countess Carmilla."
"This isn't Castlevania! Stupid pixie!" Tecna shouted. "Does this look like a castle?"
Bloom was silent in thought. "Kind of."
"No, it's a town! A normal, if strangely very foggy, town! Not a castle, and not castlevania." Tecna was out of breath afterwards. "Okay, now let's go find that path to castlevania."
"Why did we go the long way?" Bloom wined as she and Tecna walk down the street.
"BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO MAKE THIS MORE EPIC!"
"Well I didn't realize how heavy and smelly this cape can get." Bloom said.
"Than take it off?"
"But it wouldn't be so epic, now would it." Bloom looked around, she noticed a antique store. Walking in she figure maybe there's another, much lighter, cape inside.
Behind the counter was a tall man in a lovely three piece suit with a old fashion hat and round glasses. Bloom didn't seem to notice the pointed devil's tail that came from behind the man.
"Good evening, miss." The man said politely. "Is there anything I can get you tonight?"
"I need a cape that doesn't feel like it's about to crush my shoulders and doesn't smell like cat piss." Bloom said.
The salesman nodded as he looked over the girl. "I see, but instead of a cape how about this red coat," he held up a long trenchcoat. "It's more dashing and quite impressing."
"I'll take it." Bloom said. Intently throwing away the cape and taking the coat, she payed and left to find Tecna missing.
Well that wasn't true as Tecna was actually right next to the door, Bloom was even staring right at her but manage to miss her. Until she looked a little "lower".
"There you are Tecna! Come on, we still got a quest to finish for my beloved Diaspro."
"Don't you mean 'Brandon/sky'?"
"I said Brandon/sky."
"Why can't I go back to being invisible? Hey!"
"I wasn't looking." Bloom said as she removed the X-ray specs.
"Excuse me," Timmy said as he open the door. He saw the head master of Red fountain dressed as Gendo Ikari (right down to the tent fingers), the headmistress of Alfea dressed as Gendo Ikari's right hand man, Ms. Gryphon dancing around in a go-go cage in a bunny outfit with a pile of money on the desk. "Is it Monday already?"
"What is it?" The head master asked.
"Oh, right. Castlevania has risen again and there is no Belmonts around to stop it's horrific evil from corrupting the surrounding area."
"Well, than send Brandon, he's got to be good for something." The head master said. "And remember, this has nothing to do with the Japanese Mafia."
"Not a thingy-iggy." The Alfea Headmistress said.
"The Mexican Wrestling Federation?" Timmy asked.
"Knee deep."
Tecna had tracked Bloom's energy signature to this strange small town full of fog. On the way she had seen a broke down car at the gas station, and a very unusual creature that appeared as a human with unnatural pale skin and almost death-like appearance.
This of course resorted in Tecna freaking out and trying to bash the creature with a rusted iron pipe into a pile of bloody slush. When she realized that she had killed a human being (kind of) she just walked away whistling while pretending nothing had happened.
"Okay," Tecna said as she looked at the device she made. "It says that Bloom is about a few-" she stopped when she noticed the historical society building. "Must resist the urge, must find closet lesbian." Tecna looked over to the building, despite the dark aura, Lovecraft atmosphere, the creepy air and the dead body hanging from the tree it called to her.
Tecna than laughed and looked up to the sky. "Nice try, but I have more will power than anyone thinks. Huh?" She looked down to see her hand "munching" it's way towards the building. "Stop that!"
"Holy crap!" Bloom shouted. Tecna, fake Tecna, looked around expecting a major attack but instead saw the redhead holding a bloodied newspaper that was on the fence full of hanging corpses. "It says here that Blue Creek Apartment had lowered their prices to 120 a month."
"Bloom, there is more impo- 120 you say." Tecna said as she took the paper. "Hmmm, I'm going to have to come back here later."
"This town is perfect for me and Diaspro." Bloom said as the mental image of them in wedding dresses came into her mind. Than little Dialooms were running around their new apartment.
"Shouldn't we go on our quest now?"
"Right, Stella."
"It's Tecna."
Bloom shrugged as she threw the paper aside. "What ever, you both have the same bust size."
"Okay, I can understand why you came with," Prince Sky (who was formally known as "Brandon") said to Brandon (who was formally known as Prince Sky). "But why is she here?"
"You own me a daring quest." Diaspro snapped. "After going out with that floozy Bloom, you should be happy I haven't nailed your XXXXX to the XXXXing XXXXXX walls of your XXXX than took that and shoved it onto a stick!"
"Bloom is not a floozy." Sky snapped as he wonder over to the train car's window. "And this quest isn't for you, it for her."
Brandon raised a brow. "You do know? Don't you?"
"Know about what?" Diaspro demanded.
"That..." Hearts and cupids with Stormy's face on them surrounded the dense prince. "We're in love!"
"Uh. No." Brandon said dryly. "The fact she's a classic case of closet lesbian."
"She loves me, she loves mmmmeeeeee!" Sky said as he prance around the car.
"Really?" Diaspro said in a smug way. Than saw Sky bounce around naked with badly done tattoo of riven's name on his back and a Agumon plushie. For some reason Diaspro became very depressed.
"Yep, he'll be the first to die." Brandon said dryly. Now Sky was dancing around and singing Rolling Stone's shattered.
"Stupid apocalypse now reference."