Papercut Chapter 2: Reality, an invader zim fanfic

A/N: This was originally going to be a one-chapter fic, but Stagger pointed out that it could be interesting to see how Dib ended up after losing all that he really had left, as his dad really doesn't count. Obviously it really can't be Gaz's POV anymore, so after much deliberation, I decided to have the narration transfer over to Dib.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, because Jhonen Vasquez is the master of all things Zim-ish. The lyrics to Reality aren't mine either, as they belong to Staind. It is a good song though, so all should go and buy the cd, or at least go and download the song. AND LISTEN TO IT TOO!

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According to this file, the 'people' of Zim's race (Irkens) are susceptible to water as well as...what the hell was that noise? "Gaz? Was that you?" That's weird, she should be home by now, and probably would've yelled at me for disturbing her gaming...anyway...water as well as bright lights and loud noises. Perfect. I'll shine a bright light in Zim's face and cause a loud noise, then off to the autopsy table. Now, I should have some leftover fireworks around here somewhere, maybe in the Bigfoot box under my bed. As for a bright light, let me think. Hmmmm, maybe dad still has that searchlight he was working on. Yes, it should be in the living room. I'll just walk really quietly past Gaz's room, and ignore the bright red pool of liquid leaking into the hallway...wait a minute.

"Gaz? You better not be sacrificing neighborhood animals again, dad would get really mad, and...Gaz? Are you ok?" Normally it would be a suicide move to even knock on her door, but instead of flattening me, she didn't do anything. "Gaz?" And I push her door open. "Oh dear god." I almost pass out from the sight of her body on the floor and the gun lying next to her. I can't believe that I never knew that she was planning to do this...or maybe she wasn't, and it just happened. That gun is...mine? She broke into my room to kill herself?! "This is all my fault, Gaz...I'm so sorry..."

/The lights are on but you're not home/
/You've drifted off somewhere alone/
/Somewhere that's safe/
/No questions here/

All these questions, running through my head. What really scares me is that I can answer most of them. I should have known, I've seen her cutting before, seen the scars. Her Gameslave too, was a sign. She had no friends, and so she hid from reality. The games she played...killing the undead.

/A quiet place where you hide from your fears/
/Sometimes when you're out of rope/
/The way to climb back up's unclear/
/The walls you build around yourself/
/I guess they also keep you there/
/Are you afraid of what they think?/
/Whoever "they" happen to be/
/Or are you hiding from the scars of your own reality?/

But why didn't she just stop? I would've listened if she had just asked for help...oh wait. She did.

/So you sedate and drown in vain/
/You've got a pill for every day/
/A suit and tie to mask the truth/
/Its ugly head is starting to show through/

Telling dad...with anyone else's parents, that's the hardest thing. Dad has always been too busy for us though, so it should be no problem. That's the general theory, anyway.

"Dad?"

"Not now, son. I'm making...TOAST."

"But it's really important."

"I'm sure it is, son. But science needs me."

"Yeah, well, so did Gaz. Go figure."

"I'm sure whatever your sister needed can wait."

"Better not wait too long, she'll start rotting."

That brought his full attention to the conversation.

"She's not raising dead too, is she? Son, you better not have taught her to do this."

"I didn't, dad. She killed herself."

"For your experiments with the dead?"

"Dad, nobody's trying to raise the dead. And I said I was sorry."

"Always with the dead, you are son."

"Forget it, I'll deal with it myself."

/Sometimes when you're out of rope/
/The way to climb back up's unclear/
/The walls you build around yourself/
/I guess they also keep you there/
/Are you afraid of what they think?/
/Whoever "they" happen to be/
/Or are you hiding from the scars of your own reality?/

So what do I do now? Call the police to report a suicide? But that could only be bad for dad's reputation...wait. He's one of the reasons she killed herself, and I'm trying to protect him? I guess I'll have to; I don't want her body lying there until I decide what to do with it.

"911, can I help you?"

"Um, my sister just killed herself, and I don't know what to do."

"Can you tell me where you live?"

"420 High St."

"OK, I'll send an officer out there immediately. (Pause) Are you sure she's dead?"

"Gunshot to the side of her head, her brains are everywhere. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's dead."

"So you're the one who found her, huh? You sound pretty calm...is this some kind of sick joke?"

"No. But I wish it was."

"You wish that?"

"Yeah, I wish that she wasn't really dead. The officer is here, by the way."

"Alright sir, I'll let him talk to you now."

/The monster you're feeding/
/Your lack of perception/
/The things you will do/
/To fulfill addictions/
/The light at the end of your tunnel is closing/
/What is it that you're so afraid of exposing?/
/You'd give it all up for what's there for the taking/
/Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking/
/The same things you're thinking might make you feel better/
/The same things that probably get you here/

Jeez, could their questioning be any longer? I didn't kill her or do anything. She pulled the trigger, she committed suicide. End of story, unless you're a cop.

"Well, if you remember anything else, please give us a call," and hands me a business card. It's about time.

"Oh, and we'll let the skool know...would you like to take a few days off of skool? As a way to spend a bit of time getting over this all? I know it must be a terrible shock to you." WHAT?!?! Give Zim a few days all to himself? No way...but I could spend those days breaking into his base...

"That's ok officer, but I think I'd like to go...best to keep my mind occupied..." I sneak a glance at him to see if he's buying this load of shit, and to my relief, he's nodding.

"Yeah, you're probably right son."

The cop is finally out the door, and only then does the reality of the fact that Gaz is dead finally hit me. They took the body and some of her stuff with, but they left most of her cds here. I throw one in my cd player, turn it up, and cry myself to sleep.

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Whee, that was fun. It's only been about forever since I posted something, cuz my 'net has been down all summer...but now I have the skool's 'net...Anyway...if you like, review and tell me, and if you don't tell me that too...because people won't review this and it's making me sad...and if you haven't read Taco Fic, go and read that too...and review it...yay.