Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda, I don't own IZ, for I am not Jhonen; I don't own the lyrics, for I am not the Offspring. Got it?
A/N: This chapter is supposed to be a few days after Gaz's funeral, and it's from the perspective of Dib speaking to Gaz. Enjoy...or not, I guess you'd have to be pretty sick to ENJOY it...oh well, you know what I mean.
Also, I know that I said I would post a sequel to Taco Fic, but I have some major writer's block on it, so...while I try to get back into the flow of it, I will continue to write and post chapters for this Fic.
'...' are thoughts, and "..." is where someone's speaking.
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'Hey Gaz. I know you're probably getting tired of me showing up every day, but...I'm here anyway. I can't help it. What a field trip...yeah right. I can't believe her. Mrs. Bitters just had to use the funeral of my only sister as an example of how everyone is doomed to die a horrible death. I'm starting to understand why you always hid from reality like this. Not that you need me to tell you this or anything...'
/Maybe in another life/
/I could find you there/
/Pulled away before your time/
/I can't deal it's so unfair/
'What's really weird though is some of the kids were actually being kinda...I dunno. Nice. Torque, in his own little way, managed to say he was sorry about all this. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say. He might have been giving me crap about being insane. And Zim, of all people. Aliens. Whatever. "I'm, eh, sorry about your stinkmeat sister. Yeah." If that's not weird, I don't know what is anymore.'
/And it feels//Yeah it feels like/
/Heaven's so far away/
/And it feels/
/Yeah it feels like/
/The world has grown cold/
/Now that you've gone away/
'Not that I can be sure of anything anymore. I know science and the world need him, but jeez. He couldn't even take one day off for his daughter's funeral? That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. He did give me money to buy flowers for your grave, though I think he meant it for new crayons. He still thinks I'm in preskool. I figured a rose would be best, and I managed to track down one in your favorite color. Black.'
/Leaving flowers on your grave//Show that I still care/
/(But) black roses and hail marys/
/Can't bring back what's taken from me/
'Why did you have to do it though? You can't understand how much this hurts, and how much I want you back here. Even if all we did was fight, it was better than not having anyone. Now, all I have is dad, and you know how he is. Him and his real science. Puh. I may as well have nothing.'
/I reach to the sky//And call out your name/
/And if I could trade/
/I would/
'Gaz, I'm so sorry that I never listened to you. Maybe if I had, this never would've happened. I would give anything to have you back, because even though I hated you sometimes, you were still my sister, and I love you.' I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face, unchecked. I know that if anyone saw me like this, I would never hear the end of it. I have also come to the conclusion that I no longer care.
/And it feels//And it feels like/
/Heaven's so far away/
/And it stings/
/Yeah it stings now/
/(The) world is so cold/
/Now that you've gone away/
/Gone away, gone away, yeah/
'I just wish that there was a way to make this pain stop, to be able to accept this and get on with my life. You know, I haven't spied on Zim at all since your death. Not once. He's probably planning to enslave mankind, and I can't bring myself to care. Because of you. The skool counselor tried pulling me out of class a couple of times so that "we could talk about our feelings". Right, like I'm gonna tell a perfect stranger how I feel.'
/I reach to the sky//And call out your name/
/Oh please let me trade/
/I would/
'On my way home from skool, I saw some guy getting drunk, and he offered me some of his booze if I wanted to give him some money. I walked away from him, but I've been thinking about it, and I just might try that. I know that dad has beer somewhere, leftover from some experiment, and I'll bet he wouldn't miss it. They say that it's a good way to deaden pain...'
/And it feels//And it feels like/
/Heaven's so far away/
/And it feels/
/Yeah it feels like/
/(The) world has grown cold/
/Now that you've gone away/
/Gone away, gone away, yeah/
'Anyway, I gotta go. I still need to eat something, as I haven't eaten all day. And I think that I will try and get the beer, because it can't make me feel any worse than I already do. I miss you so much, but standing here talking to a piece of cold marble won't change that. Maybe it would be better if I just stopped coming...'
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