Audra Burns
A Tale of Pickpockets, Piracy, and The Notorious Black Pearl
Audra Burns ducked quickly into a side alley, cursing her stupidity. Rule number one for a pickpocket: don't be seen! She had been following the pirate for about an hour through the streets of Tortuga, waiting for him to drift away from his crew. She had waited for too long, and now she had only a few purses to show for it all. She had to get this one or today would be a waste. A complete waste, for she had not the money for rum. Even in the dim light from nearby torches he could have seen her face when he turned around. How could he have known that she was there? Audra strolled out of the alley casually, casting an eye about for the pirate. There he was, preoccupied with a goods hawker. He was trying to shake the boy off. With a polite smile, she grabbed the boy by the shoulder.
"I'm sorry sir, Tim doesn't know when to leave be." She pulled the boy away, then melted into the shadows, laughing with a new bounce in her step. Tonight she would have her rum, that she would!
Jack watched the girl almost dance down the street, her breeches and shirt stained and torn. Gibbs tapped him on the shoulder.
"Jack, she's making away with your purse!" Jack raised a hand, thinking.
"Let her be. We'll see where this goes."
The bright noon sun shone down upon Tortuga's half empty streets with a cheerful light. In the alleys, drunken sleepers lay with their mugs still in hand. From the eaves of a building on a street near the harbor, a bright-eyed girl of about nineteen slid onto the street and yawned, grinning as she tied a long piece of emerald green cloth to keep her jaggedly cut black hair out of her face. She checked her sash to see if it properly concealed her dagger and pouch before wandering toward her favorite pub on the docks. Outside the door she stopped, staring at the ship that had docked the night before. Its menacing frame was made of a dark wood, almost black. The Jolly Roger flew proudly above the deck, and as she took in each detail of the beautiful ship she did not realize that she was walking closer to it until she was reaching a hand out to touch the smooth side. The texture was like that of fine silk under her fingers. She inhaled the scent of seawater on wood, daydreaming of being on a ship such as this.
"Who are you?" She jumped, almost falling off the dock.
"Au-Audra. Audra Burns. Is this your ship?" The man nodded. "She's the most beautiful ship I've ever seen!" The man looked oddly at her for a moment, then held out a hand.
"Jack Sparrow, Captain. Do you know this ship's name?" She shook her head slowly. "This, Audra, is the Black Pearl."
Audra gasped excitedly. "The ship that was captained by Barbossa, a man so evil that he was spat out by the depths of hell? I heard all the stories last year. It sounded so thrilling!" Her green eyes were alight with excitement. Jack smiled and motioned to the town.
"Why don't you show me where I could purchase a sword?"
Once the two reached the blacksmith Jack and Audra browsed through the selection of swords. Audra took a liking to one with a light handling and thin blade. The grip had a rose delicately shaped into the steel, and the sheath had ivy vines embossed in the leather.
"You look at it like it's made of gold." Jack drew his sword and grinned. "But can you use it?" Audra gracefully twirled it in her hands and crossed his with it. Swing left, block by Audra. Attack to the shoulder by jack, Audra defended successfully and feinted to the left. Jack blocked, Audra took the opening and pointed the blade at Jack's throat. He smiled gamely.
"Let's try that again. This time with some fancy footwork." By the end of the afternoon, Audra was weary and ready to get to the pub. Jack waved her outside before buying the rose sword and having it delivered to the ship. He walked outside the door and smiled at Audra.
"Let's go have some rum. I'll buy."
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
Loot the wealth and burn the rest,
The gold is what we want.
Steal the rum and bring aboard,
And then we'll all get drunk!
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!
Audra raucously sang, holding her mug high above her head. Jack pulled her back down into the chair.
"Drunk is right, love. Have another, alright?" He signaled to the barkeep for another rum and took Audra's empty mug, placing it with the many other empty ones on the counter. "Better hope this one does it, or I'll have an empty purse." He grumbled sullenly, watching Audra gulp down the rum. She set it down as the last of the rum was finished and hiccupped.
"You know, I always wanted to be a pirate. It sounds so exciting, nothing compared to being a pickpocket." Audra's words were slightly slurred. She smiled and tried to stand up. Jack caught her before she fell, and she laughed as he walked her out of the pub. "Actually, piracy is just like pick pocketing, except with a bigger purse." Audra laughed.
As Jack and Audra reached the dock of the Pearl, she hiccupped and slumped. Jack dragged her a few steps, struggling to keep her up. "Will! Will! A little help here!" Jack called, grunting with exertion. Will ran off the ship and put one of Audra's arms over his shoulder and helped Jack drag her up the gangplank. "Where's the rest of the crew?" Jack asked as they heaved her into a spare hammock.
"Still in town except for Elizabeth and me. They're coming back at about dawn."
"Good. This one here had quite a few too many. I wouldn't be surprised if she slept until next week." Jack gently placed the wrapped sword next to Audra on the hammock. "We need to sail out before she can change her mind."
Audra woke with a crashing headache and sense of disorientation. She was in a hammock, but she didn't quite know where. A woman with dark skin and hair was in the hammock next to her, and as Audra sat up she laughed.
"A little drunk?"
"A little drunk is between one and five drinks. I feel like I had somewhere between ten and forty." Audra moaned.
"Jack said you got to thirty two before you went out. Your breath smells like it, that's for sure. I'm Anna Maria. You're Audra, right?"
"I think so. Where am I?"
Anna Maria gave her an odd look. "You're on the Black Pearl. We've been at sea for a day now. You joined the crew."
"I did what?" She grabbed a bucket and vomited into it violently.
Audra tottered onto deck unsteadily, scanning the ship for Jack. When she spotted him at the stern, she stormed over to him.
"I can't believe you! You got me to trust you, got me tanked, and then brought me aboard your ship and skittered off with all due haste!"
Jack raised his index finger lazily, counting off. "One, never trust a pirate. Two, not tanked, dead drunk. You didn't need my help with that; I couldn't get you to stop drinking if I tried. And we didn't skitter off with all due haste, we left at dawn, six hours later. You slept for a day, love. Look at it this way: would you rather sleep in a hammock or the gutter? Pick pockets or raid merchant ships? Go hungry or eat well? It's your choice, love." Audra opened her mouth to protest, but in the same instant her stomach heaved. Before she could lose the contents of her stomach all over Jack, he dragged her to the railing. "Not on the deck!"
After several minutes and several bouts of violent vomiting, Audra's knees gave out. She shook with chills and exhaustion. Jack picked her up and carried her to her hammock.
"Seasick and drunk, not a combination I'd fancy. Sleep well, love." He was out on the deck when he popped his head back in. "Oh, and Audra? Aim for the bucket if you can help it." Audra groaned and slammed her pillow over her head. Jack laughed and went above deck.
Two mornings later Audra was feeling much better. She ate breakfast with the crew, enjoying the best meal she had eaten in ten years. Once on deck, Jack approached her.
"It seems we have a dilemma here, love. You don't know how to do anything on a ship, and that pretty much makes you useless. Now, if you were a pickpocket, you must be a good climber, correct?" Audra nodded. "Can you climb that?" He pointed up the mast.
"It's awfully high, isn't it?" Audra stammered. "But I suppose that I could get up there, if I tried really hard."
Jack smiled. "That's a girl."
Audra shimmied up the wooden pole slowly, breathing deeply and trying not to look down. Curse the day she came aboard this ship! The crow's nest was about ten feet above her now. She just had to get there and then go back down. So easy for him to say, nothing this high in Tortuga! With a heave, Audra pulled herself up onto the platform. She stared out onto the open sea, enjoying the moment. Then she sighed. Now to get down from here. She grabbed a rope and slid down to the first crossbar. She repeated the process until she reached the bottom crossbar. Suddenly Jack shouted up at her. Audra turned to ask him what he wanted. With a sickening thud, a knotted rope slammed into her face. She tumbled backwards, falling to the deck below. The deck wasn't as hard as she had expected, but it still hurt terribly when her back slammed into it. As Audra slowly got to her feet, she felt her nose bleeding. Jack looked at her oddly. She didn't realize it, but her nose was broken and bent to one side.
"Stand still for a second, love. Let me look at your nose." Audra hesitantly lowered her hand. As Jack took hold of the bridge of her nose, she realized what he was going to do.
"No, don't, it bight hurt-" Jack yanked her broken nose straight. "Bloody hell! Bloody hell, that hurt! Cursed mother of god bloody hell!" The crew laughed as Audra cursed and kicked, wiping blood from her face. As they dispersed to their various duties, Audra's cheeks burned with humiliation. Yet again she had made an idiot out of herself.
Late that night, Audra was on watch in the bow. She sat on the base of the bowspirit, staring at the stars in the clear night sky. The sea was a smooth plane, like glass reflecting the sky. She had taken her boots off, leaving them lying on the deck while she let her bare feet dangle into the air.
Though peasant girl may beg for food,
And beggar boy for pence,
A pirate is the only criminal
Who has some sense.
A ship at sea is better
Than Tortuga,
A hammock is much better
Than the street.
The sky is clear here on the ocean,
Stars can be seen
Like diamonds and dear jewels.
A pirate is the only thing
Of which you'll ever hear me sing,
The Jolly Roger calls me home.
"Time for sentry duty to change." Audra started from her daydream. Jack was standing behind her, smiling as she twisted around to see him. Even in the dim light he could see the dark bruise spreading across the left side of her face, partially hidden by hair hanging into her face. She averted her gaze downward once she saw who was there.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I made a right idiot out of myself."
Jack laughed. "You'll get the hang of it, sooner or later. It isn't your reputation you should be worried about, if you have another incident like today you might miss the deck." Audra began to climb down from the bowspirit, her bare feet sliding on the wet wood. Jack grabbed her hand to help her. Suddenly the wind kicked up and the bow dipped. Audra flew forward on top of Jack; and the two fell to the deck. Shocked, the two just stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Awkwardly, Audra got up.
"S-Sorry. I, um, kind of slipped." She scuttled away into the night. Jack turned, noticing her boots on the deck. As he picked them up, he noticed they were the same as those worn by the Royal Navy. Custom made for a woman's foot.
"That's interesting. That's very interesting."
Audra tiptoed onto the deck, the glow of sunrise barely peeking over the horizon. The deck was only occupied by the night watch, and as she reached the bow she began to search frantically for her boots. Audra backed toward the bowspirit, scanning the deck. With a start she realized that Jack was standing behind her. She whirled around to face him. He was lounging against the railing, her boots at his feet. As she stepped forward to take them, he grabbed her arm. Audra tried to pull away, but his grip was strong. Jack traced the pearl white scar circling her neck with a finger.
"And where did that come from?"
"No business of yours where it came from, Captain." She spat the word nastily at him.
"It's almost as if you had a run in with the hangman's noose, love. Your neck even healed a little crooked where it broke, right there. Now, the only conclusion would be that you, who have 'never left Tortuga,' were hung for treason to the Crown at Port Royal. Pity is that when they hung you out at the rocks, you weren't quite done. You managed to escape, maybe washed up to a ship headed for Tortuga. They dropped you off and there you stayed, until, of course, I showed up and slipped a little something in your rum." Audra pulled back and snarled at him, grabbing her boots.
"I never asked to come aboard your ship, captain. If you have complaints about my record then you can take them to hell with you when you go. Oh yes, by the way. You didn't slip anything in my rum back in Tortuga. I would have noticed if you did." She ran below deck. Jack sighed, staring at the sails.
"You were too drunk to notice anything at all, love. Not even when you informed me of your little Royal Navy escapade."