They stared at each other for several endless moments before Ginny gave a
half-smile and said wryly, "Well, at least this time there's no chance of
walking in on you and Susan Bones. A cute nurse, maybe..."
Draco scowled. "What on earth are you talking about?"
"I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry." She squirmed and tried to look dismissive. "It's not as if we were together or you owed me anything."
"Ginny." His voice was implacable and she sighed.
"I'd gone looking for you. The day after Harry and I first... Got together." She blushed and Draco looked stonily out of the window. "I was going to, I don't know, ask you to forgive me and run away with me to Mexico or something. But I came across you and Susan in, uh..."
"The Charms classroom." His voice was distant and his face strangely blank.
Ginny cleared her throat. "Well, yes. I told myself I should be grateful you were happy, and that it just showed that where I was needed was with Harry."
There was silence for several long moments as Draco stared at her and Ginny tried to avoid looking at him. Finally, he said softly, "Do you mean to tell me that, if I hadn't gotten drunk and screwed a meaningless girl just because her hair was like yours, if I hadn't tried to pretend, just for a little while, that you were mine... We'd have been together? I wouldn't have spent years trying to drink you off my mind, dreading and hoping for the Daily Prophet, because it'd have a picture of you, but with Potter? Is that what you're saying?"
Ginny had cringed back into her pillows as his tone grew harsh and clipped, and suddenly he took her hand and sat down, his voice changing to soothing honey as he said, "No, don't, I'm sorry... It's just--"
Her hand rose up to his face, her fingers resting gently on his lips. "Let's not talk about the past right now."
He clutched her hand and pressed it to his lips. "You're not getting rid of me again. I won't go, and won't let you go, either."
"And what a Malfoy wants, he gets, right?" Ginny's smile was just shy of being a smirk, and his eyebrow went up in response.
"Precisely. Being a Malfoy has many such benefits, which is why you should become one as soon as possible." She'd have thought he was completely relaxed about this casual sounding statement, if he hadn't still been keeping a death-grip on her hand.
Ginny took a deep breath and looked at him intently. She'd heard his eyes described as icy, but she never felt cold when he looked at her, didn't think she could ever be cold again. She thought they looked more celestial, with hints of a clear blue amidst the cloudy grey. She could see the anxiety that he wasn't bothering to keep out of his eyes, because no one would have seen it but her, would have known him enough to see it for what it was. With great solemnity, she said, "Does that mean you'll finally stop calling me Weasel?"
Even a lifetime of Malfoy training couldn't prevent the laugh that came from Draco's lips. He slid closer from his perch on the side of her bed and pulled her close, whispering against her temple, "I love you, Weasel."
"I love you, too." Just as Ginny gave her reply, Molly heard someone coming around the corner and hastily pushed the extendable ear she'd been using into her purse before leaning back against the door, trying to look as if she'd been busy with her knitting the whole time.
Neeko looked Molly over calculatingly. "Just saw Ron. Looks fit to burst, said you kicked him out."
Molly made a non-committal noise and looked down at her knitting needles, which were working empty air instead of green wool. She flushed and avoided Neeko's eyes as she set about fixing it. The silence between the two women continued until Molly blurted out, "This is Ginny's favorite color, you know."
"I always thought she loved green because of Harry's eyes," Molly continued as Neeko bobbed her head in acknowledgment. "It never occurred to me that she might like it because it reminded her of someone completely different."
"She ever tell you about this boy?" Neeko waved a hand casually and a chair pulled itself down the hallway to be near Molly's.
"Not a word." Molly sighed heavily and stared at her fingers. "Then again, if she had, I wouldn't have listened. I was too caught up in what I thought best, like the old fool I am."
Neeko grunted. "You ain't that old."
The matriarch of the Weasley clan drew herself up to a queenly posture and said haughtily, "If I want to indulge in maudlin self-pity and abuse, kindly don't interrupt."
Both women were still laughing when the door to Ginny's room opened and Draco stepped out, his face blank. "She wants to see Potter," was all he said before moving rapidly down the hallway.
"Oh, dear." Molly looked at his retreating back and wondered what to do.
Neeko peeked into the room. "You want the Potter boy?" Apparently receiving an affirmation, she said, "All right, I'll go get him."
A few minutes later, Ginny found herself trading stares with Harry, much as she and Draco had earlier. After a minute, he muttered something and waved a wand in her direction. She felt her scalp tingle and then there was hair brushing her shoulders, the same bright copper length it had been before she'd left him.
"Why did you do that?" She glared, and he glared right back.
He jammed his hands in his pockets, and looked defiant. "Because it's you. The other way didn't suit you, made it seem like you're ashamed to be a Weasley."
She closed her eyes, trying to contain the temper that was very much a Weasley trait. "Harry, did you stop to think maybe I liked my hair like that?"
"It looked horrible. I was trying to help." He started pacing restlessly as he continued. "You used to like it when I'd do things for you, tell me I was sweet. What changed? What made you decide that instead of loving me, you hated me enough to run away from me? And to Malfoy, of all people!"
"Harry..." Ginny's voice was tired, and she shook her head. "Harry, I never liked it, never liked being treated like porcelain. I just tried to tell myself I did, to pretend--"
"So you lied. Over and over again, you lied to me." Harry glared at her accusingly, his green eyes burning. "Was anything you ever told me the truth?"
Ginny's eyes flashed and she threw the glass from her bedside table at him, the water splashing in an arc that ended with glass shards sprinkling down from just behind where his head had been before he ducked. "You sodding bastard. I never lied to you. I might not have told you everything, but you never cared enough to ask."
Harry sneered, the expression twisting his features in an ugly way. "So now it's my fault that you didn't think to mention you were fucking me under false pretenses?"
"No, Harry, it's my fault. It's my fault that I let you sleep with me with your eyes closed, literally and figuratively." Her voice had gotten quiet, her eyes unfocused. "I thought you needed me, and so I gave all I had to you. Everything that was still mine to give."
"Seems like you gave Draco Malfoy more." His voice was cruelly blank, in the way she knew it only got when he was deeply enraged.
"He wanted it." She shrugged. "You never really wanted me, not the person I am. You needed the image you had, of someone sweet and fragile and patient, who wouldn't bother you with demands, and who gave you a reason to be one of the Weasleys."
"Codswallop. I've know you since you were--"
"Harry, you've never known me." She pinched the bridge of her nose, then sighed and looked at him resignedly. "You knew a girl who had a crush on you, Ron's little sister, a tagalong... And then you knew a woman who was completely ruled by your whims. Anything you needed, I was. Just because you needed it. I gave up a lot--"
"And who asked you to?" He might've gone on, but she said quietly, "No one did, Harry," and the wind flew right out of his sails.
He sank down on a chair next to her bed and dropped his face into his hands, unconsciously imitating Draco's posture from earlier. After a long moment, he looked up and said simply, "Why?"
"I loved you, Harry, and you needed someone who would love you. How many times did you tell me you couldn't make it through without me?" She smiled gently, reaching out to brush some hair away from his face.
Harry took hold of her hand and held it, blinking away the tears that were threatening now that the first storm of anger had passed. "But if you love me, why leave me?" She started to speak, but he moved close and crushed her to his chest, pressing his cheek against her hair as he whispered, "Please, please don't leave me."
"I can't stay with you," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
"It's because of bloody Malfoy, isn't it?" Harry snarled. "If he'd kept his pointed nose out of it--"
Ginny interrupted him by saying coldly, "No, it's because of me. I left to be on my own, and I spent several months without his, as you call it, 'pointed nose' being anywhere near me."
"Then why?" He sounded so lost, so hurt and alone, that Ginny felt her heart twist with sorrow that she had to do this to him.
But pity and a desire not to hurt was no basis for a relationship, and so she steeled herself to see it through to the bitter end. Turning away from him, she said, "Harry, what color are my eyes?"
"What? Ginny, this is silly." She wouldn't turn to look at him, didn't say a word as he huffed and rolled his eyes and finally said, "They're brown, just like Ron's are."
She turned back to him, her hazel eyes bright with unshed tears. "Do you see, Harry? You've never seen who I am, never bothered to find out anything about me."
He tried to swallow against the lump in his throat as what she had been saying sunk in. "But Ginny--"
"No, Harry. You'll always be a part of me, but we both deserve more than this half-love... And I'll be damned if I ever again settle for less than I deserve." Her jaw was set, and after a moment of studying her features, he nodded stiffly and walked away.
(Author's Note: Hey, Rainpuddle. :D Hi, Sarea. Hey, everyone else reading. Please don't kill me. Please? I swear by all that's holy that there'll be more (and more satisfying) D/G in the next chapter. More Harry, too, but that can't be helped.)
Draco scowled. "What on earth are you talking about?"
"I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry." She squirmed and tried to look dismissive. "It's not as if we were together or you owed me anything."
"Ginny." His voice was implacable and she sighed.
"I'd gone looking for you. The day after Harry and I first... Got together." She blushed and Draco looked stonily out of the window. "I was going to, I don't know, ask you to forgive me and run away with me to Mexico or something. But I came across you and Susan in, uh..."
"The Charms classroom." His voice was distant and his face strangely blank.
Ginny cleared her throat. "Well, yes. I told myself I should be grateful you were happy, and that it just showed that where I was needed was with Harry."
There was silence for several long moments as Draco stared at her and Ginny tried to avoid looking at him. Finally, he said softly, "Do you mean to tell me that, if I hadn't gotten drunk and screwed a meaningless girl just because her hair was like yours, if I hadn't tried to pretend, just for a little while, that you were mine... We'd have been together? I wouldn't have spent years trying to drink you off my mind, dreading and hoping for the Daily Prophet, because it'd have a picture of you, but with Potter? Is that what you're saying?"
Ginny had cringed back into her pillows as his tone grew harsh and clipped, and suddenly he took her hand and sat down, his voice changing to soothing honey as he said, "No, don't, I'm sorry... It's just--"
Her hand rose up to his face, her fingers resting gently on his lips. "Let's not talk about the past right now."
He clutched her hand and pressed it to his lips. "You're not getting rid of me again. I won't go, and won't let you go, either."
"And what a Malfoy wants, he gets, right?" Ginny's smile was just shy of being a smirk, and his eyebrow went up in response.
"Precisely. Being a Malfoy has many such benefits, which is why you should become one as soon as possible." She'd have thought he was completely relaxed about this casual sounding statement, if he hadn't still been keeping a death-grip on her hand.
Ginny took a deep breath and looked at him intently. She'd heard his eyes described as icy, but she never felt cold when he looked at her, didn't think she could ever be cold again. She thought they looked more celestial, with hints of a clear blue amidst the cloudy grey. She could see the anxiety that he wasn't bothering to keep out of his eyes, because no one would have seen it but her, would have known him enough to see it for what it was. With great solemnity, she said, "Does that mean you'll finally stop calling me Weasel?"
Even a lifetime of Malfoy training couldn't prevent the laugh that came from Draco's lips. He slid closer from his perch on the side of her bed and pulled her close, whispering against her temple, "I love you, Weasel."
"I love you, too." Just as Ginny gave her reply, Molly heard someone coming around the corner and hastily pushed the extendable ear she'd been using into her purse before leaning back against the door, trying to look as if she'd been busy with her knitting the whole time.
Neeko looked Molly over calculatingly. "Just saw Ron. Looks fit to burst, said you kicked him out."
Molly made a non-committal noise and looked down at her knitting needles, which were working empty air instead of green wool. She flushed and avoided Neeko's eyes as she set about fixing it. The silence between the two women continued until Molly blurted out, "This is Ginny's favorite color, you know."
"I always thought she loved green because of Harry's eyes," Molly continued as Neeko bobbed her head in acknowledgment. "It never occurred to me that she might like it because it reminded her of someone completely different."
"She ever tell you about this boy?" Neeko waved a hand casually and a chair pulled itself down the hallway to be near Molly's.
"Not a word." Molly sighed heavily and stared at her fingers. "Then again, if she had, I wouldn't have listened. I was too caught up in what I thought best, like the old fool I am."
Neeko grunted. "You ain't that old."
The matriarch of the Weasley clan drew herself up to a queenly posture and said haughtily, "If I want to indulge in maudlin self-pity and abuse, kindly don't interrupt."
Both women were still laughing when the door to Ginny's room opened and Draco stepped out, his face blank. "She wants to see Potter," was all he said before moving rapidly down the hallway.
"Oh, dear." Molly looked at his retreating back and wondered what to do.
Neeko peeked into the room. "You want the Potter boy?" Apparently receiving an affirmation, she said, "All right, I'll go get him."
A few minutes later, Ginny found herself trading stares with Harry, much as she and Draco had earlier. After a minute, he muttered something and waved a wand in her direction. She felt her scalp tingle and then there was hair brushing her shoulders, the same bright copper length it had been before she'd left him.
"Why did you do that?" She glared, and he glared right back.
He jammed his hands in his pockets, and looked defiant. "Because it's you. The other way didn't suit you, made it seem like you're ashamed to be a Weasley."
She closed her eyes, trying to contain the temper that was very much a Weasley trait. "Harry, did you stop to think maybe I liked my hair like that?"
"It looked horrible. I was trying to help." He started pacing restlessly as he continued. "You used to like it when I'd do things for you, tell me I was sweet. What changed? What made you decide that instead of loving me, you hated me enough to run away from me? And to Malfoy, of all people!"
"Harry..." Ginny's voice was tired, and she shook her head. "Harry, I never liked it, never liked being treated like porcelain. I just tried to tell myself I did, to pretend--"
"So you lied. Over and over again, you lied to me." Harry glared at her accusingly, his green eyes burning. "Was anything you ever told me the truth?"
Ginny's eyes flashed and she threw the glass from her bedside table at him, the water splashing in an arc that ended with glass shards sprinkling down from just behind where his head had been before he ducked. "You sodding bastard. I never lied to you. I might not have told you everything, but you never cared enough to ask."
Harry sneered, the expression twisting his features in an ugly way. "So now it's my fault that you didn't think to mention you were fucking me under false pretenses?"
"No, Harry, it's my fault. It's my fault that I let you sleep with me with your eyes closed, literally and figuratively." Her voice had gotten quiet, her eyes unfocused. "I thought you needed me, and so I gave all I had to you. Everything that was still mine to give."
"Seems like you gave Draco Malfoy more." His voice was cruelly blank, in the way she knew it only got when he was deeply enraged.
"He wanted it." She shrugged. "You never really wanted me, not the person I am. You needed the image you had, of someone sweet and fragile and patient, who wouldn't bother you with demands, and who gave you a reason to be one of the Weasleys."
"Codswallop. I've know you since you were--"
"Harry, you've never known me." She pinched the bridge of her nose, then sighed and looked at him resignedly. "You knew a girl who had a crush on you, Ron's little sister, a tagalong... And then you knew a woman who was completely ruled by your whims. Anything you needed, I was. Just because you needed it. I gave up a lot--"
"And who asked you to?" He might've gone on, but she said quietly, "No one did, Harry," and the wind flew right out of his sails.
He sank down on a chair next to her bed and dropped his face into his hands, unconsciously imitating Draco's posture from earlier. After a long moment, he looked up and said simply, "Why?"
"I loved you, Harry, and you needed someone who would love you. How many times did you tell me you couldn't make it through without me?" She smiled gently, reaching out to brush some hair away from his face.
Harry took hold of her hand and held it, blinking away the tears that were threatening now that the first storm of anger had passed. "But if you love me, why leave me?" She started to speak, but he moved close and crushed her to his chest, pressing his cheek against her hair as he whispered, "Please, please don't leave me."
"I can't stay with you," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
"It's because of bloody Malfoy, isn't it?" Harry snarled. "If he'd kept his pointed nose out of it--"
Ginny interrupted him by saying coldly, "No, it's because of me. I left to be on my own, and I spent several months without his, as you call it, 'pointed nose' being anywhere near me."
"Then why?" He sounded so lost, so hurt and alone, that Ginny felt her heart twist with sorrow that she had to do this to him.
But pity and a desire not to hurt was no basis for a relationship, and so she steeled herself to see it through to the bitter end. Turning away from him, she said, "Harry, what color are my eyes?"
"What? Ginny, this is silly." She wouldn't turn to look at him, didn't say a word as he huffed and rolled his eyes and finally said, "They're brown, just like Ron's are."
She turned back to him, her hazel eyes bright with unshed tears. "Do you see, Harry? You've never seen who I am, never bothered to find out anything about me."
He tried to swallow against the lump in his throat as what she had been saying sunk in. "But Ginny--"
"No, Harry. You'll always be a part of me, but we both deserve more than this half-love... And I'll be damned if I ever again settle for less than I deserve." Her jaw was set, and after a moment of studying her features, he nodded stiffly and walked away.
(Author's Note: Hey, Rainpuddle. :D Hi, Sarea. Hey, everyone else reading. Please don't kill me. Please? I swear by all that's holy that there'll be more (and more satisfying) D/G in the next chapter. More Harry, too, but that can't be helped.)