Part 2 of the last chapter. Remember, this is the not so happy part.

Two notes. One for Tats, one for Hisoka. Pathetic, in all his life, the only people he needed to say anything to were an ex-boyfriend and a kid.

Hisoka was not a kid. Well, not just a kid.

Dismissing Hisoka as a child was unkind. Hisoka was young, but hardly a child, far more mature. And sweet. Loving. Adorable. Beautiful. Perfect.

And this was hardly a productive train of thought. Not that anything he would do today would be productive. Not that anything he ever did was productive.

Except maybe getting off his ass and finding a place to put the notes. With the plants, perhaps. Not with Suzaku-neechan, she wouldn't like that. And if he couldn't leave them with her, he couldn't leave them with Soh Ryu or Byakko either. That left Tohda. Tohda would do it.

Tohda would do it. As though a plant could be an active participant in the delivery of a message. He balanced the notes in the branches. His room might be a little out of the way for the notes. He carried Tohda's pot out of his bedroom and set it down in front of the couch. Easier to find, but something was still wrong. Tohda needed company. He went back into his room for Rico.

Rico was a cactus. Hisoka'd given it to him for Christmas. Nameless, of course, but he'd teased Hisoka for hours until one was picked. Rico wasn't the most brilliant of names, but it was his favorite. Hisoka came up with it. Originally Rico had lived on the counter with the others, but that hadn't worked out. Rico was too wild for Soh Ryu's dignity and Suzaku-neechan was just plain jealous. So Rico had moved next to Tohda. Tohda hadn't been too pleased at first, but he'd come to enjoy the company. Come to depend on the company.

His plants had more detailed lives than he did. If that wasn't sad….

He turned on the faucet, filling the bath tub with hot water. Almost too hot, but that hardly mattered. Hotter water would probably be better. The tub was filling quickly. Where was the razor?

With Tohda, of course. Only Tohda would keep it out of sight, but still give it back when he needed it.

He knocked the letters over digging the razor out. Putting them back, he pricked his finger on one of Rico's spines. On his way to get a band aid he stopped and laughed. There really wasn't much point.

He set the razor on the sink and shut the tap. The tub was full. The water was still too warm, but it wasn't scalding. He folded his clothes as he took them off. He could at least be neat. Holding the razor in his left hand, he climbed into the bath and sat down. The water really was too hot. His hand shook. He needed a drink.

No.

For this one thing he needed not to have a drink. For this he had to be sober.

The first cut was too far over and too shallow. The second cut was deep, but he wasn't sure it was in the right place. The third cut seemed right. Blood poured out of it faster than he'd expected. He let his arm sink under the water. The blood would flow down the drain with the water. Less mess, easy clean-up.

In spite of the warm water, Tsuzuki was very cold.

Hisoka woke already flushed. His dream had been unusually pleasant. Pleasant didn't even come close to describing it. He hadn't dreamt like that in a long time. Not that his recent dreams were completely devoid of sex. They just were full of Muraki. It had been over a year since he'd dreamt of one without the other. Tsuzuki was a much better subject for dreams. Lying in bed, he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, back to the delicious dream. He would have, had Kannuki-san not pounded on his door and threatened to drag him out of bed if he didn't get up. She didn't need to see his bed until he'd done some laundry.

It started with a slight chill in the shower. Nothing too unusual; it was February and while the water was warm, the air wasn't. Instead of slowly fading as he dried off, however, the chill got worse. By the time he was dressed he couldn't stop shivering. When Kannuki-san barged in to see what was taking him so long, Hisoka was curled up at the foot of his bed shaking.

"Hisoka! What's-"

"C-c-c-cold." Hisoka interrupted before she could ask. His teeth chattered as he spoke. Kannuki-san pressed the back of her hand against his forehead.

"You don't feel feverish, but obviously something's wrong. Back to bed. Now." She frowned. "I have to take Kazusa to school, and I can't just skip work today, but I'll come home at lunch. I should be able to get a doctors appointment for you by then."

She wrapped him in blankets and brought massive amounts of tissues and water bottles into his room. A few unread books were piled on his bed. Hisoka doubted he'd read them.

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Fluffy-san?" If he had felt any less miserable, Hisoka would have laughed at the name as he usually did. Kazusa had named the stuffed rabbit "Mr. Fluffy Bun" the minute she saw him sitting by Hisoka's hospital bed in October. Hisoka had continued to refer to the rabbit as "it" all through November until he heard Tsuzuki call it "Fluffy Bun-san." At that point he realized his stuffed rabbit or not, the name was permanent. She laid the rabbit in his arms; at least it felt warm. He curled up around the rabbit and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Pain.

Hisoka woke with a pain twisting his gut. Not a physical one that could be easily cured with an appendectomy, but a deep emotional void trying to swallow him. He felt as if half of himself had been ripped away.

"Tsuzuki!" No one heard the half-strangled yelp. As soon as he thought of the name Hisoka knew where he needed to be. He threw himself out of bed and tore through his things, searching for paper to leave a note.

Kannuki-san–

Feeling better. Went to see Tsuzuki. – Hisoka

It wasn't the best note; it wasn't even a good note. Kannuki-san would be worried, but she would at least know how to find him. She would be more worried if she came back and he was just gone. Hisoka was out the door before he noticed he still had the rabbit. He needed the company.

Hisoka wasn't quite sure why he had gone to Tsuzuki's apartment rather than his office. Tsuzuki was supposed to be at work today. His mind must not be working as it should. Obviously it wasn't. If Hisoka's mind had been giving directions properly, he would be in Kannuki-san's kitchen, waiting for Tsuzuki to come over because he would have called him. Instead he stood outside Tsuzuki's apartment with little idea of how he got there, other than that it involved more running then he normally considered possible. Panic gripped him; he dropped the key twice as he tried to unlock the door.

The atmosphere in the apartment was still, heavy, dead. Tsuzuki wasn't there. Any room that Tsuzuki was in felt light. It wasn't the over active imagination of a boy in love; Tsuzuki's presence made places better. Something was not right. Tohda was out in plain sight. Hisoka bent over the plant and saw the notes. He picked up his own, scraping the back of his hand on Rico's spines. Damn cactus. The note was in hiragana. The idiot even wrote like a child.

Hisoka, the note read, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I really screwed up, too much to ever fix. I know I can't make everything right, but I think this is the way to make things at least a little better. You need to know that none of this is your fault. You did nothing wrong. I was always the one in the wrong. I don't think I'll be forgiven, but I'm sorry. It will be better for you once I'm gone.

"Idiot!" Hisoka tore the note up unfinished. He didn't need to read the rest. The only part of any importance was the signature, in neat kanji – probably the only ones Tsuzuki knew. Tsuzuki Asato. He wished he'd bothered to teach Tsuzuki the kanji for Hisoka. It was a stupid, girls' name but it would have been nice to see Tsuzuki write it.

Hisoka found the yukata he'd worn on Halloween. He took off his clothes and slipped it on. It wasn't quite appropriate dress for the occasion, but it was better than jeans and the obnoxious orange sweater he'd put on that morning when he was too cold to consider fashion. There was no bedroom mirror, so everything else needed to be done in the bathroom.

He really didn't want to go in the bathroom.

"Idiot." The word was too soft to be a scolding. Seeing the pale corpse in the pink water hurt more than the note. Suddenly tired he sat on the floor, crying softly. There was a stain on the carpet just outside the door. Sure, Tsuzuki had known what he was doing. Hisoka wiped the tears from his eyes and continued his work. Taking care not to wet the yukata, he let the water drain from the bathtub. The pink water would not do. While it ran down he washed his face, eliminating any trace of his earlier tears. He combed his hair, then turned his attention to the corpse.

The water had taken with it all of the blood. The skin was still damp, but the hair was dry and messy, as usual. Hisoka combed it back so it wouldn't cover Tsuzuki's face. Hisoka jumped back when he saw the open eyes. The purple that was so striking in life was even more so in death, though in death it was rather unpleasant. Such a vacant expression did not fit Tsuzuki at all. He pressed the lids down with his fingers and climbed into the tub. There was nothing else to do. The situation was far from perfect, but under the circumstances, it was the best he could do.

"You really are an idiot." Hisoka addressed the corpse. "Didn't you think I'd want to be with you? I decided a long time ago, that my place to come home to is here, by your side. Wherever you're going, I am going too. With you, Tsuzuki."

Hisoka laughed. Hadn't he dreamt of Tsuzuki hard beneath him? Not quite in this way. He leaned forward and gave the dead lips a final kiss. He wrapped his fingers around Tsuzuki's hand, closed his eyes, lowered his shields, and reached for any emotion he could find.

Across the hall, some girl was fighting with her boyfriend.

Anger.

Downstairs, an old woman couldn't remember where she was.

ConfusionFear.

Not too far away, two people were having sex. LustDiscomfortPainWantNeedMustHaveJoyPleas-

Terrance had only been slightly worried when Asato hadn't come in to work on time. If Asato was even up at this hour, he was probably far too hung-over to actually come to work. Still, he thought it might be a good idea to visit his poor sick friend at lunch.

When he knocked on the door and it creaked open, he became very worried. Nothing seemed out of place at first glance. Plants in the wrong place. Stuffed rabbit lying on the ground. Torn paper on the floor – a note in Japanese, either for or from Hisoka. A note with his name on it.

Tats-

I don't have to explain my actions to you. You know me by now and if you don't understand there isn't any way I could explain it to you. You are my best friend, though, and I owe you something. An apology for being such a pain and my eternal gratitude for every time you had to put up with me. Especially recently. A note can't say it all, but it's the only medium left. Please pass my apologies on to your wife; I've been rude to her as well as you. Treat her well, she deserves it.

-Asato

P.S. Don't let Hisoka in the bathroom. Ever. Empathy triggers his seizures. I don't know how long what's going to happen there would affect him.

Asato was right. Explanations weren't necessary. Terrance couldn't be surprised by the contents of the note. Quickly he brushed away tears. Why was that man involved every time he cried? Emotions firmly under control, Terrance decided to take a quick look in the bathroom before calling the police. He opened the door.

Don't let Hisoka in the bathroom.

Ever.

The bodies were contorted into what would have been terribly unpleasant positions for people in life, the boy's body in particular. His hand appeared to be gripping Asato's so tight as to have broken fingers. Acutely uncomfortable, Terrance checked each for a pulse. None. He left the room before he could start crying again. He had phone calls to make.

He would not be pleasant company for some time.

Please don't hurt me! I'm just not very big on unrealistic happy endings. Anyway, obviously there isn't going to be a sequel, but as I've mentioned, there may be a prequel about Terrance and Asato if enough inspiration (read as reviews) is provided.