Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!-
A Misadventurous Romance Story
Chapter Three-This Job Blows!
AN~Okay, I really have too much fun naming these chapters. I really want to thank the fifteen reviews I've had so far(even though I did some myself, and other people posted more than one review). For some reason, mainly because this isn't your usual pairing, I didn't think this story would take off. But I'm glad to see that everyone likes it!^_^ This chapter is dedicated to IsidraC, and Aeris Ennui, because they've been SO nice to me, and talk to me on AIM. I wuv yoo guys! *not in a homosexual way* ~tigerofthewind~
It was official. As I sat in the all-too-silent classroom watching the kids working studiously at their desks, one thing crossed my mind.
(This job blows.)
It really did. Esthar Garden in itself had this stiff atmosphere, even worse than Galbadia Garden's stick-up-the-bum appearance. The instructors were strict, the rules even stricter. Students were expected to be smacked with rulers and all this horror-boarding-school-stuff if they were bad.
Some things were different about me, though. First off, my room was always decorated in bright colors. Today's color was green---all shades of green, but especially bright green. The students liked it, it gave them something interesting to talk about. Secondly, I didn't believe in using corporal punishment on my students(although the nunchaku-smacking to prevent the spread of libel and gossip still stood).
Plus, I tried to make lessons FUN. I know, FUN. The word that you'd never envision pairing together with Esthar. But you know? I was really hoping that I'd be able to plan a Garden Festival here, too. Maybe even invite Sir Laguna, since he was the president of Esthar, and all..........
I'd seen Fujin and Raijin poking around, too. They were the head of Esthar's disciplinary committee(the kids hoped to get Raijin as their advisor, mainly because he'd been smacked around his whole life and knew how much it hurt). Also, I wasn't allowed to have access to Garden's computers, nor even have a computer in my classroom.
But all that was about to change. I'd gotten a password from one of my female students, agreeing to set up a date for her with an upper-classmen she liked. Her login account was HoppinIt45, and her password, believe it or not, was 'sirseifer'(I think she has too much spare time on her hands....ick!). It didn't matter, though. I had a key. I had a way in. Now, if I could tap into even some of the basic stuff, like a message board, or even the tutorial, I could finally relay a decent report back to Squall.
I'd only been employed at Esthar Garden for a month, but I still felt like I should be doing more work than what I was now. I'd given a report back to Squall on the basic structure and location of Esthar Garden, not to mention the best-detailed floor plan I could produce(I was never any good at that planning and measuring stuff, it makes my head hurt), but I knew that he was expecting more.
You see, what I had said to the Esthar Asshole(known to most as Seifer, mind you) wasn't entirely inaccurate. I knew what Squall and Zell and maybe even Headmaster Cid himself thought of me. That I was too hyperactive, too mercurial to be able to handle a mission of any real importance without other SeeD members as supports. So, I planned to show them all. It just so happens that I'll happen to be getting revenge for my misadventures, as well.
But that could wait. Right now, a hand was stretching itself across the aisle.........
WHACK! The note went flying, like it had done so often back in my Balamb days. The student, Mira, looked pretty embarrassed."Got me again, hunh, Instructor Tilmitt?"
I laughed and pointed my finger at her test."Get back to work, Mira."
Other than those small reposes, however, each day went in and out the same. I'll admit it; I was bored, I missed Balamb. Everything was out of the ordinary there, whether it was some delinquents sneaking down into the sub-basement to poke the glowing ball that was the former Garden Master NORG with sticks, or the juinor classmen trying to flush a GF down the toilet(poor Carbuncle never did recover from that one, I'll wager). But here? Everything was so.......so.........BORING. I bet Squall would like it though, it seemed like he'd fit in perfectly here.
The students had just finished their tests when the bell rang. Despite the fact that some of them had finished early, they all remained sitting upright in their chairs, not moving. I swear, I think they were even BREATHING in unison. I gathered the remaining papers on my desk to grade for later."Okay. Prison's over."
They cheered, and ordinarily would have ran out of class like they usually do(poor kids, they've got so much pent-up energy---I know the feeling), but today, they didn't. I wondered if Fujin was patrolling the halls like she had been the other day.
A few muffled greetings of 'Hello, sir' and 'Have a nice day, sir' informed me that she was not(unless she was really a closet-room crossdresser, like I had thought). I paid no heed; I had other things to do. It was my lunch break(finally!), but I still had some GF reports to grade, so I was eating in my room today(although that wasn't really anything new, I'd been doing a lot of that, lately).
I had just settled down with my Balamb fish sandwich and started reading about Odin, when a voice made me nearly choke to death on Zantetsuken.
"Holy Hyne, Tilmitt, it looks like a Cactuar exploded in here!"Guess who that was? Yep. The thing that enjoys making my life miserable. Sighing resignedly to myself, I got to my feet and saluted, all the while wanting to hurl my sandwich right in his face.
"Hello, Seifer,"I said wearily, thinking about how much more work I would be getting done if he hadn't interrupted. The self-righteous smirk he usually wore was instantly replaced with a scowl.
"Sir,"he said brusquely, and I thought for a moment that he was calling me a man, until I realized that I was supposed to address him as that. The thought itself made my sandwich begin to rise in my throat........
"Hello, SIR,"I said for emphasis, still holding my salute. Hyne, if only the mission wouldn't be ruined if I killed him right here and now.............
"At ease, Tilmitt."I relaxed and, just to make him as angry as I was, sat back down again and sifted through the reports. I could almost see the vein on his head throbbing."Explain,"he said, his voice tight."Why is your classroom roughly the color of a diseased Tonberry, or a Zombied Wendigo?"
"The kids liked it,"I told him, taking a huge bit out of my sandwich, and thoroughly enjoying his barely supressed rage."Since everything here's all the same shade of gray, I thought it would be fun to give them something different for a change."
(No, Cerberus doesn't perform 'Hell Fire'),I was thinking idly to myself, when I felt a hand like a death band clamp itself on my shoulder.(Hmmm. So I still haven't scared it away.)
"Tilmitt. Walk with me."
Oh, no. What did it want this time?"But I've got class---"
"Lunch for an hour. I know your schedule, Tilmitt. Walk and eat."
"But these papers---"
"Can wait. Let's go."It was more of a command than anything. I mean, I wasn't supposed to argue with him the FIRST time. I clambored to my feet, wondering if maybe we might go by the cafeteria so I could pick myself up a decent lunch(Balamb fish just aren't very filling).
"Is there a problem, sir?"I asked, genuinely confused. I hadn't done anything YET.
Then, to my ULTIMATE surprise, he was shaking his head."Not of yet."
"Why am I here, then? I mean, I've got TONS of grading to do, and---"I didn't care that I was complaining. LET him suffer! Mwah ha ha!
"Tilmitt, you work too much. And is THAT your lunch?"
WHAT?! I replayed the scene in my mind. He was ASKING A NON-INSULTING OR INFORMATIVE QUESTION ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?! It confused me greatly."Umm, yeah."
We made a sudden sharp left, and I realized that we were indeed heading for the cafeteria.(Yes!)I cheered silently to myself. But I was still wondering what made him do it."He-ey! Why're we heading down this way, sir?"
A long silence on his behalf(honestly, I liked him BETTER when he was silent).".........Buy you lunch."
Oh, so now he thought I couldn't afford a decent lunch, hunh?!"Hey, I can buy lunch for myself, ya know! Just because I'm too busy working---"
He looked a bit ticked off(and, I would come to realize later, even a little bit offended)."I was just being courteous, Tilmitt. Damn."
"WHY?"It slipped out; I couldn't help it. Seifer shrugged disinterestedly.
"If you die from starvation, we'll be out a nunchaku specialist, and another instructor. Two quit last week, and quite frankly, we can't afford to lose any more. I know I threw those two extra classes at you, Tilmitt, but I didn't have much of a choice. My office is being swamped every day by requests for transfer over to your classes. I came by today to find out why."
"........Oh."I decided to broach a subject that had been bothering me for some time."Sir? Why push these kids so hard, sir? Both you and I know that Balamb was never like this, and most kids from there turn out okay."
He bristled at the mention of Balamb."These kids need toughening up, so they can be soldiers for the army. That way, SeeD doesn't have to do all the dirty work."
Once again, I pushed my luck(secretly, I was hoping he would get so angry and explode, and I would toast bread on him)."Sir............have you ever thought about whether these kids WANTED to join the army?"
"What?"We stopped in the lunch line, and he stared at me as though he'd never seen anything quite like me before. It was another one of those camera-moment expressions. I made a mental note to myself to carry one around with me at all times.
I plunged on before I could stop myself."To me, it just seems like these kids joined Garden because they wanted to meet new friends, and learn something at the same time. Training them to be SeeDs is okay, but to join the army? At least with being a SeeD, they would get to stay here at Garden between missions."
"Hmmm..........."I still couldn't get used to the totally bizarro sight of Seifer THINKING. Instead, I dug around in my pockets for some change to pay for lunch.
"Tilmitt, lunch is on me."I knew better than to argue(besides, I was poor right now, anyway).
"Thank you, sir."And so, we wove our way through the mass of students and tables(I think the kids saw Seifer coming, and cleared out a pathway for him, truthfully) and sat down at the table farthest in the corner. Practically every kid in the cafeteria was staring at us, until Seifer fixed them with his patented death glare and they all went back to doing whatever it was they were doing(or at least pretended to, anyway).
We didn't say a lot, which was fine by me. That gave me extra time to think about how I was going to manage to hack into Esthar Garden's security system. As it was, my lunch disappeared quickly. I didn't even realize how hungry I was, until it was all gone. Checking my watch, I saw that my hour lunch break was almost up. So, I got to my feet and stretched."Sir---"
"Tilmitt."
"So, ummm.......thanks for lunch, 'kay? I was really glad to have a break."He got to his feet, and started walking away.
"Good. Because I'm added another seven students to each of your morning classes. Be prepared to update them on your curriculum by tomorrow, Tilmitt."
What in Hyne's name----?! Hey! That was SO not fair! By the sound of his laughter as he headed for the door, I knew that lunch had just been a setup, so he could sick more students on me! Stupid, ungrateful---!
"Ah, you lousy get of a cart-horse and a trollop's bastard!"I shouted, and flung my carton of chocolate milk at him as hard as I could.
Ever since I had gotten the Strange Vision, my accuracy on things had been greatly increased. Thus, the carton of chocolate milk made a lovely SPLATing noise as it slammed into the back of Seifer's head. There was dead silence all around the cafeteria before the Beast roared:
"TILMITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Giggling insanely, I cartwheeled past him and out of the cafeteria. As I left, I could have sworn that I heard applause. Finally, I was one-up on Seifer.
Later that night, I got the chance to be another two-up on him, when I remembered the computers in the cafeteria. Pretending to sneak down to get a late-night snack(it wasn't a problem, because the faculty who stood guard to make sure that kids obeyed curfew had seen the incident today, and let me pass without much trouble), I logged onto the terminal under the girl's name, HoppinIt45.
I checked out some boring stuff first, like the message board. Actually, it wasn't so boring. A lot of students thought my show today was the funniest thing they'd seen in ages.
'Hey, did you guys see what Instructor T. did today? The Commander was so pissed, that no one could get near him for hours! That's the kind of stuff we need here!'-G.I.
'G.I., you're so right! Instructor T. kicks ass!'-Joh
'Hey, did you know those last two that posted on the message board spell G.I. Joh? It's funny, isn't it? Hello???'-Mira R.
'Mira R., you're nuts. We should start a fan club for Instructor T.! But what should we call it?'-X
"A fan club, hmmm?"A sudden voice behind me made me jump. Oh, no! It was the Beast! And he caught me logging into the school's terminals, and.........OH HYNE, I WAS SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!
"Umm....tee hee........."
"Tilmitt."Forcibly, Seifer threw an arm around my shoulders and steered me away from the cafeteria's computers."Let's go for a walk."
"Honestly, I just wanted to post stuff on the message board---"I tried to protest, but I didn't get much farther than that.
"Do you KNOW........."he hissed, his face dangerously close to mine,"what Esthar Garden regulations are for dealing with SPIES........?"
I gulped. I had a pretty good idea."Sir, I---"
"Tilmitt, I can't fire you."He sounded as though his birthday had been ruined."Especially after what you did today, the students'll have my ass for it. But expect this---you won't be seen ANYWHERE without me following you around. Not teaching, not eating---Hyne, maybe not even sleeping. You've put me in a bit of a tough spot, Tilmitt---but know, that I can make it ten times worse for you."
He didn't have to speak loudly to get the point across. The threat held a world of meaning, and none of it was good for me. In a sense, he was like Zell---hell bent on revenge.
I was too, wasn't I? Planning to take down Esthar Garden not just because Squall ordered me to, but also just because Seifer threw gum down the front of my dress? Instantly, I felt kinda bad. So far, Esthar hadn't really been doing anything, and I was ruining a home for a lot of these kids by trying to trash it. I felt I had to say it.
"Yes, I am a spy,"I sighed, hanging my head so low that I felt like it would touch the floor."I was hired by Balamb. They sent me because they thought that you were planning something megaly-superbly-giguntly nasty."
"THEY thought? So then, Tilmitt, you're different?"There was a bitter edge to his voice that I'd heard many a time before, back when he used to be the Sorceress' Knight."I highly doubt that."
"Actually.........I never thought too much of you, really. But, then you made me look like an idiot at Fisherman's Horizon, so that's why I took on this job. Plus, I think Squall would have chopped me up with his Lionheart if I had said no."
"...........Tilmitt. Would you really let a schoolgirl grudge destroy the place that feels like home for so many of these kids?"
"I didn't think of that until now. But you have my word---I'll stop trying to spy on you. I don't care what Squall and the others say---I'll stop."
".........All right, Tilmitt."
I shook my head hurriedly."Don't get me wrong. I'm not doing it for YOU. I still hate YOUR guts. But for now, I'll stay out of your way."
A slight shake of his head."You forget, Tilmitt. I'm still keepin' an eye on you, no matter where you go. So, for starters, guess where you get to sleep tonight?"
I felt the leftovers of today's lunch build up in my throat. I didn't know that a single statement could make one person so physically ill."Oh, no! You can't---no way---I mean........HYNE, THAT'S FOUL!"
"You think I want it, Tilmitt? It's just a security issue, that's all."I had to admit, Seifer looked pretty sick himself."Although I'm tempted just to let it go, so I can still have my sanity before this is through............."
No matter how much I argued, it didn't change a thing. Five minutes later still saw me standing outside of Seifer's door. With an almost callous familiarity, he unlocked the door and kicked it open."There. Home sweet home. I don't entertain much, so you can sleep on the floor."
Once again, I tried to protest, but it was in vain. Arguing with Seifer was like arguing with a wall---or Zell. It was equally pointless.
His room in itself wasn't bad. Kinda interesting, actually, although I'd never admit it. There was a door that I supposed went to the bathroom(Hyne, I HOPED it went to the bathroom), and a desk with a swivel chair(I planned to have some fun with that, you know). Off to the one side was actually something that looked like a fireman's pole---it went through a hole in the floor, and another hole through the ceiling. I wondered what it was for.
"What---?"
"MD Level,"he cut me off, pointing down."Bridge,"he added, pointing up.
Oh. So Esthar Garden was mobile too, hunh? I filed that away for further memory, and hated myself for doing it. Even now, I was still spying on them!
In the center of the room hung a hammock. It was so cool, it reminded me of something I wanted to have in my dorm when I got back to Balamb. Back to Balamb? I was going back to Balamb? They would LET me go?"Hey, why can't I just sleep there?"I asked, pointing to the suspension. Seifer snorted, and swung himself up into it with ease.
"Because that's where I sleep, Tilmitt."I looked around, and indeed saw that there was no bed. I was just about to swing around and comment when a barrage of pillows and blankets suddenly being flung at me knocked me backwards to the floor, my feet flying up rather ungracefully in a series of different directions.
A series of nasty retorts had been right on my lips, but when I saw that I didn't exactly have a captive audience(Seifer had rolled over, and I think he was already asleep), I just sighed resignedly and settled down as comfortably as I could on the floor.
Pulling the blankets over my head and trying to shut out the nightmares surrounding me, I heard a faint clap from up above, and the lights went out(WoW! The Clapper! They're so much FUN!).
As I drifted off to sleep, I had a wonderful dream of myself sitting leisurely up in a hammock while I pelted Seifer with cartons of chocolate milk down below.
My dreams are pretty weird, aren't they?
AN~So, what does everyone think? Like I said, this hasn't really required too much thought as of yet. I hope I'm doing a good job of combining the three things that matter most to me---humor, plot, and keeping the characters in character. Also, I have a proposition for everyone who's reading this. If you like my writing style, send me an E-mail(or even a review, if you want) if you want me to write you a story involving any sort of weird coupling(I'll decide weird and normal, okie?), and give me the details on it. Credit will go to you for the idea, but it'll just be under my penname, etc. Please read and review, and I'll try and post Ch. 4 as soon as I can! It's going to be called 'What The @#$%?!' Tee-hee! *like Selphie, cartwheels away* ~tigerofthewind~
Chapter Three-This Job Blows!
AN~Okay, I really have too much fun naming these chapters. I really want to thank the fifteen reviews I've had so far(even though I did some myself, and other people posted more than one review). For some reason, mainly because this isn't your usual pairing, I didn't think this story would take off. But I'm glad to see that everyone likes it!^_^ This chapter is dedicated to IsidraC, and Aeris Ennui, because they've been SO nice to me, and talk to me on AIM. I wuv yoo guys! *not in a homosexual way* ~tigerofthewind~
It was official. As I sat in the all-too-silent classroom watching the kids working studiously at their desks, one thing crossed my mind.
(This job blows.)
It really did. Esthar Garden in itself had this stiff atmosphere, even worse than Galbadia Garden's stick-up-the-bum appearance. The instructors were strict, the rules even stricter. Students were expected to be smacked with rulers and all this horror-boarding-school-stuff if they were bad.
Some things were different about me, though. First off, my room was always decorated in bright colors. Today's color was green---all shades of green, but especially bright green. The students liked it, it gave them something interesting to talk about. Secondly, I didn't believe in using corporal punishment on my students(although the nunchaku-smacking to prevent the spread of libel and gossip still stood).
Plus, I tried to make lessons FUN. I know, FUN. The word that you'd never envision pairing together with Esthar. But you know? I was really hoping that I'd be able to plan a Garden Festival here, too. Maybe even invite Sir Laguna, since he was the president of Esthar, and all..........
I'd seen Fujin and Raijin poking around, too. They were the head of Esthar's disciplinary committee(the kids hoped to get Raijin as their advisor, mainly because he'd been smacked around his whole life and knew how much it hurt). Also, I wasn't allowed to have access to Garden's computers, nor even have a computer in my classroom.
But all that was about to change. I'd gotten a password from one of my female students, agreeing to set up a date for her with an upper-classmen she liked. Her login account was HoppinIt45, and her password, believe it or not, was 'sirseifer'(I think she has too much spare time on her hands....ick!). It didn't matter, though. I had a key. I had a way in. Now, if I could tap into even some of the basic stuff, like a message board, or even the tutorial, I could finally relay a decent report back to Squall.
I'd only been employed at Esthar Garden for a month, but I still felt like I should be doing more work than what I was now. I'd given a report back to Squall on the basic structure and location of Esthar Garden, not to mention the best-detailed floor plan I could produce(I was never any good at that planning and measuring stuff, it makes my head hurt), but I knew that he was expecting more.
You see, what I had said to the Esthar Asshole(known to most as Seifer, mind you) wasn't entirely inaccurate. I knew what Squall and Zell and maybe even Headmaster Cid himself thought of me. That I was too hyperactive, too mercurial to be able to handle a mission of any real importance without other SeeD members as supports. So, I planned to show them all. It just so happens that I'll happen to be getting revenge for my misadventures, as well.
But that could wait. Right now, a hand was stretching itself across the aisle.........
WHACK! The note went flying, like it had done so often back in my Balamb days. The student, Mira, looked pretty embarrassed."Got me again, hunh, Instructor Tilmitt?"
I laughed and pointed my finger at her test."Get back to work, Mira."
Other than those small reposes, however, each day went in and out the same. I'll admit it; I was bored, I missed Balamb. Everything was out of the ordinary there, whether it was some delinquents sneaking down into the sub-basement to poke the glowing ball that was the former Garden Master NORG with sticks, or the juinor classmen trying to flush a GF down the toilet(poor Carbuncle never did recover from that one, I'll wager). But here? Everything was so.......so.........BORING. I bet Squall would like it though, it seemed like he'd fit in perfectly here.
The students had just finished their tests when the bell rang. Despite the fact that some of them had finished early, they all remained sitting upright in their chairs, not moving. I swear, I think they were even BREATHING in unison. I gathered the remaining papers on my desk to grade for later."Okay. Prison's over."
They cheered, and ordinarily would have ran out of class like they usually do(poor kids, they've got so much pent-up energy---I know the feeling), but today, they didn't. I wondered if Fujin was patrolling the halls like she had been the other day.
A few muffled greetings of 'Hello, sir' and 'Have a nice day, sir' informed me that she was not(unless she was really a closet-room crossdresser, like I had thought). I paid no heed; I had other things to do. It was my lunch break(finally!), but I still had some GF reports to grade, so I was eating in my room today(although that wasn't really anything new, I'd been doing a lot of that, lately).
I had just settled down with my Balamb fish sandwich and started reading about Odin, when a voice made me nearly choke to death on Zantetsuken.
"Holy Hyne, Tilmitt, it looks like a Cactuar exploded in here!"Guess who that was? Yep. The thing that enjoys making my life miserable. Sighing resignedly to myself, I got to my feet and saluted, all the while wanting to hurl my sandwich right in his face.
"Hello, Seifer,"I said wearily, thinking about how much more work I would be getting done if he hadn't interrupted. The self-righteous smirk he usually wore was instantly replaced with a scowl.
"Sir,"he said brusquely, and I thought for a moment that he was calling me a man, until I realized that I was supposed to address him as that. The thought itself made my sandwich begin to rise in my throat........
"Hello, SIR,"I said for emphasis, still holding my salute. Hyne, if only the mission wouldn't be ruined if I killed him right here and now.............
"At ease, Tilmitt."I relaxed and, just to make him as angry as I was, sat back down again and sifted through the reports. I could almost see the vein on his head throbbing."Explain,"he said, his voice tight."Why is your classroom roughly the color of a diseased Tonberry, or a Zombied Wendigo?"
"The kids liked it,"I told him, taking a huge bit out of my sandwich, and thoroughly enjoying his barely supressed rage."Since everything here's all the same shade of gray, I thought it would be fun to give them something different for a change."
(No, Cerberus doesn't perform 'Hell Fire'),I was thinking idly to myself, when I felt a hand like a death band clamp itself on my shoulder.(Hmmm. So I still haven't scared it away.)
"Tilmitt. Walk with me."
Oh, no. What did it want this time?"But I've got class---"
"Lunch for an hour. I know your schedule, Tilmitt. Walk and eat."
"But these papers---"
"Can wait. Let's go."It was more of a command than anything. I mean, I wasn't supposed to argue with him the FIRST time. I clambored to my feet, wondering if maybe we might go by the cafeteria so I could pick myself up a decent lunch(Balamb fish just aren't very filling).
"Is there a problem, sir?"I asked, genuinely confused. I hadn't done anything YET.
Then, to my ULTIMATE surprise, he was shaking his head."Not of yet."
"Why am I here, then? I mean, I've got TONS of grading to do, and---"I didn't care that I was complaining. LET him suffer! Mwah ha ha!
"Tilmitt, you work too much. And is THAT your lunch?"
WHAT?! I replayed the scene in my mind. He was ASKING A NON-INSULTING OR INFORMATIVE QUESTION ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?! It confused me greatly."Umm, yeah."
We made a sudden sharp left, and I realized that we were indeed heading for the cafeteria.(Yes!)I cheered silently to myself. But I was still wondering what made him do it."He-ey! Why're we heading down this way, sir?"
A long silence on his behalf(honestly, I liked him BETTER when he was silent).".........Buy you lunch."
Oh, so now he thought I couldn't afford a decent lunch, hunh?!"Hey, I can buy lunch for myself, ya know! Just because I'm too busy working---"
He looked a bit ticked off(and, I would come to realize later, even a little bit offended)."I was just being courteous, Tilmitt. Damn."
"WHY?"It slipped out; I couldn't help it. Seifer shrugged disinterestedly.
"If you die from starvation, we'll be out a nunchaku specialist, and another instructor. Two quit last week, and quite frankly, we can't afford to lose any more. I know I threw those two extra classes at you, Tilmitt, but I didn't have much of a choice. My office is being swamped every day by requests for transfer over to your classes. I came by today to find out why."
"........Oh."I decided to broach a subject that had been bothering me for some time."Sir? Why push these kids so hard, sir? Both you and I know that Balamb was never like this, and most kids from there turn out okay."
He bristled at the mention of Balamb."These kids need toughening up, so they can be soldiers for the army. That way, SeeD doesn't have to do all the dirty work."
Once again, I pushed my luck(secretly, I was hoping he would get so angry and explode, and I would toast bread on him)."Sir............have you ever thought about whether these kids WANTED to join the army?"
"What?"We stopped in the lunch line, and he stared at me as though he'd never seen anything quite like me before. It was another one of those camera-moment expressions. I made a mental note to myself to carry one around with me at all times.
I plunged on before I could stop myself."To me, it just seems like these kids joined Garden because they wanted to meet new friends, and learn something at the same time. Training them to be SeeDs is okay, but to join the army? At least with being a SeeD, they would get to stay here at Garden between missions."
"Hmmm..........."I still couldn't get used to the totally bizarro sight of Seifer THINKING. Instead, I dug around in my pockets for some change to pay for lunch.
"Tilmitt, lunch is on me."I knew better than to argue(besides, I was poor right now, anyway).
"Thank you, sir."And so, we wove our way through the mass of students and tables(I think the kids saw Seifer coming, and cleared out a pathway for him, truthfully) and sat down at the table farthest in the corner. Practically every kid in the cafeteria was staring at us, until Seifer fixed them with his patented death glare and they all went back to doing whatever it was they were doing(or at least pretended to, anyway).
We didn't say a lot, which was fine by me. That gave me extra time to think about how I was going to manage to hack into Esthar Garden's security system. As it was, my lunch disappeared quickly. I didn't even realize how hungry I was, until it was all gone. Checking my watch, I saw that my hour lunch break was almost up. So, I got to my feet and stretched."Sir---"
"Tilmitt."
"So, ummm.......thanks for lunch, 'kay? I was really glad to have a break."He got to his feet, and started walking away.
"Good. Because I'm added another seven students to each of your morning classes. Be prepared to update them on your curriculum by tomorrow, Tilmitt."
What in Hyne's name----?! Hey! That was SO not fair! By the sound of his laughter as he headed for the door, I knew that lunch had just been a setup, so he could sick more students on me! Stupid, ungrateful---!
"Ah, you lousy get of a cart-horse and a trollop's bastard!"I shouted, and flung my carton of chocolate milk at him as hard as I could.
Ever since I had gotten the Strange Vision, my accuracy on things had been greatly increased. Thus, the carton of chocolate milk made a lovely SPLATing noise as it slammed into the back of Seifer's head. There was dead silence all around the cafeteria before the Beast roared:
"TILMITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Giggling insanely, I cartwheeled past him and out of the cafeteria. As I left, I could have sworn that I heard applause. Finally, I was one-up on Seifer.
Later that night, I got the chance to be another two-up on him, when I remembered the computers in the cafeteria. Pretending to sneak down to get a late-night snack(it wasn't a problem, because the faculty who stood guard to make sure that kids obeyed curfew had seen the incident today, and let me pass without much trouble), I logged onto the terminal under the girl's name, HoppinIt45.
I checked out some boring stuff first, like the message board. Actually, it wasn't so boring. A lot of students thought my show today was the funniest thing they'd seen in ages.
'Hey, did you guys see what Instructor T. did today? The Commander was so pissed, that no one could get near him for hours! That's the kind of stuff we need here!'-G.I.
'G.I., you're so right! Instructor T. kicks ass!'-Joh
'Hey, did you know those last two that posted on the message board spell G.I. Joh? It's funny, isn't it? Hello???'-Mira R.
'Mira R., you're nuts. We should start a fan club for Instructor T.! But what should we call it?'-X
"A fan club, hmmm?"A sudden voice behind me made me jump. Oh, no! It was the Beast! And he caught me logging into the school's terminals, and.........OH HYNE, I WAS SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!
"Umm....tee hee........."
"Tilmitt."Forcibly, Seifer threw an arm around my shoulders and steered me away from the cafeteria's computers."Let's go for a walk."
"Honestly, I just wanted to post stuff on the message board---"I tried to protest, but I didn't get much farther than that.
"Do you KNOW........."he hissed, his face dangerously close to mine,"what Esthar Garden regulations are for dealing with SPIES........?"
I gulped. I had a pretty good idea."Sir, I---"
"Tilmitt, I can't fire you."He sounded as though his birthday had been ruined."Especially after what you did today, the students'll have my ass for it. But expect this---you won't be seen ANYWHERE without me following you around. Not teaching, not eating---Hyne, maybe not even sleeping. You've put me in a bit of a tough spot, Tilmitt---but know, that I can make it ten times worse for you."
He didn't have to speak loudly to get the point across. The threat held a world of meaning, and none of it was good for me. In a sense, he was like Zell---hell bent on revenge.
I was too, wasn't I? Planning to take down Esthar Garden not just because Squall ordered me to, but also just because Seifer threw gum down the front of my dress? Instantly, I felt kinda bad. So far, Esthar hadn't really been doing anything, and I was ruining a home for a lot of these kids by trying to trash it. I felt I had to say it.
"Yes, I am a spy,"I sighed, hanging my head so low that I felt like it would touch the floor."I was hired by Balamb. They sent me because they thought that you were planning something megaly-superbly-giguntly nasty."
"THEY thought? So then, Tilmitt, you're different?"There was a bitter edge to his voice that I'd heard many a time before, back when he used to be the Sorceress' Knight."I highly doubt that."
"Actually.........I never thought too much of you, really. But, then you made me look like an idiot at Fisherman's Horizon, so that's why I took on this job. Plus, I think Squall would have chopped me up with his Lionheart if I had said no."
"...........Tilmitt. Would you really let a schoolgirl grudge destroy the place that feels like home for so many of these kids?"
"I didn't think of that until now. But you have my word---I'll stop trying to spy on you. I don't care what Squall and the others say---I'll stop."
".........All right, Tilmitt."
I shook my head hurriedly."Don't get me wrong. I'm not doing it for YOU. I still hate YOUR guts. But for now, I'll stay out of your way."
A slight shake of his head."You forget, Tilmitt. I'm still keepin' an eye on you, no matter where you go. So, for starters, guess where you get to sleep tonight?"
I felt the leftovers of today's lunch build up in my throat. I didn't know that a single statement could make one person so physically ill."Oh, no! You can't---no way---I mean........HYNE, THAT'S FOUL!"
"You think I want it, Tilmitt? It's just a security issue, that's all."I had to admit, Seifer looked pretty sick himself."Although I'm tempted just to let it go, so I can still have my sanity before this is through............."
No matter how much I argued, it didn't change a thing. Five minutes later still saw me standing outside of Seifer's door. With an almost callous familiarity, he unlocked the door and kicked it open."There. Home sweet home. I don't entertain much, so you can sleep on the floor."
Once again, I tried to protest, but it was in vain. Arguing with Seifer was like arguing with a wall---or Zell. It was equally pointless.
His room in itself wasn't bad. Kinda interesting, actually, although I'd never admit it. There was a door that I supposed went to the bathroom(Hyne, I HOPED it went to the bathroom), and a desk with a swivel chair(I planned to have some fun with that, you know). Off to the one side was actually something that looked like a fireman's pole---it went through a hole in the floor, and another hole through the ceiling. I wondered what it was for.
"What---?"
"MD Level,"he cut me off, pointing down."Bridge,"he added, pointing up.
Oh. So Esthar Garden was mobile too, hunh? I filed that away for further memory, and hated myself for doing it. Even now, I was still spying on them!
In the center of the room hung a hammock. It was so cool, it reminded me of something I wanted to have in my dorm when I got back to Balamb. Back to Balamb? I was going back to Balamb? They would LET me go?"Hey, why can't I just sleep there?"I asked, pointing to the suspension. Seifer snorted, and swung himself up into it with ease.
"Because that's where I sleep, Tilmitt."I looked around, and indeed saw that there was no bed. I was just about to swing around and comment when a barrage of pillows and blankets suddenly being flung at me knocked me backwards to the floor, my feet flying up rather ungracefully in a series of different directions.
A series of nasty retorts had been right on my lips, but when I saw that I didn't exactly have a captive audience(Seifer had rolled over, and I think he was already asleep), I just sighed resignedly and settled down as comfortably as I could on the floor.
Pulling the blankets over my head and trying to shut out the nightmares surrounding me, I heard a faint clap from up above, and the lights went out(WoW! The Clapper! They're so much FUN!).
As I drifted off to sleep, I had a wonderful dream of myself sitting leisurely up in a hammock while I pelted Seifer with cartons of chocolate milk down below.
My dreams are pretty weird, aren't they?
AN~So, what does everyone think? Like I said, this hasn't really required too much thought as of yet. I hope I'm doing a good job of combining the three things that matter most to me---humor, plot, and keeping the characters in character. Also, I have a proposition for everyone who's reading this. If you like my writing style, send me an E-mail(or even a review, if you want) if you want me to write you a story involving any sort of weird coupling(I'll decide weird and normal, okie?), and give me the details on it. Credit will go to you for the idea, but it'll just be under my penname, etc. Please read and review, and I'll try and post Ch. 4 as soon as I can! It's going to be called 'What The @#$%?!' Tee-hee! *like Selphie, cartwheels away* ~tigerofthewind~