Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story

Chapter Seven-Pork Rinds, Lesbians, and an Encounter of the Bizarro Kind



AN~Hello, all!*waves* Once again, the must-say 'THANK YOU' to all my reviewers! This chapter is shamelessly dedicated to liss, and to trajik007, for adding their second reviews to the list(remember, you review more than once, and I give you a chapter, LoL). I still love you, even if I haven't dedicated a chapter to you, yet! The truth is, all of you guys pestering me to keep updating has actually made me shirk the practically-a-novel FF8 story I was writing. Which might have been a good thing, seeing as how I was at a dead spot anyway. As it goes, I will probably go around shamelessly plugging it from here on in. ALL my fics, actually. SO GO READ THEM! LoL. Well, well, well.*tsk-tsks* Interesting plot development, eh? The idea for this, you ask? I was bored with the same old orphanage stories(I'm generally bored with the same old anything, you might have noticed), and I liked the old Dollet Empire. I thought it deserved more credit. Ah, hell, maybe I just liked Seifer too much and decided to make him an emperor for the hell of it. Either which way, emperor he is. Where will this lead you, as the reader? And me, before I lose my sanity completely? ~tigerofthewind~





The kingdom of the Dollet Dukedom was a long-running one, lasting through several dynasties before finally meeting it's end somewhere around the year 17 SGA, that is, the Second Golden Age. The first Golden Age had come after the First Sorceress War back during the days of the Centra, and the second after the Second Sorceress War against Adel. As it went, the year 18 SGA was nearing.

The Dollet Dukedom went by many names--the Dollet Dukedom, the Dollet Empire, and the Kingdom of Dollet, just to name a few. All of those could be historically described as true; more often than not, Dollet would change from being a monarchy to an oligarchy to who-knows-what. But one thing that remained steady in all of the legends was true---that it could accurately be called the Kingdom of the Light.

Once a great nation, Palan'de'leiya(Centra for the kingdom at that time) spanned from the Centra continent, as far south as the Cape of Good Hope, and as far north as Winter Island, where the Shumis dwelt. The only land independent from it's rule was the mysterious nation of Esthar, sealed away by it's sorceress magic. The two countries were often at war, even long before the Second Sorceress War. Esthar's technological advancement made them a formidable opponent for the Dolletians, and their massive population posed a threat even to their machinery. Fierce battles raged the world, flattening mountains and laying waste to forests that had stood thousands of years old.

All seemed lost.

And all would have been, had it not been for a young army general and his courageous band of followers............

They called themselves 'paladins', and rode on the front lines, bravely staring the Gatekeeper of Nemeris in the eye with every battle. Protecting the king with their lives, you would often see their white banners flying out through the wind. The king of Palan'de'leiya was so grateful for their aide that he adopted their banner as his own, and changed the old pledge to the kingdom to that of 'A flaming sword on a field of white, in the hands of those who bear the light'........

Indeed, the banner of Palan'de'leiya was a red sword with the tip pointed downward, against a white background. Later, during a battle that would break apart the Centra continent itself into smaller pieces of continent, a battle that would leave the land barren and uninhabitated for years to come, the king was struck an unlucky blow and thus died.

The paladins had always worn shining white armor before the death of their king, hardly ever taking their silver gilded helmets off, but when the king died, they all donned black. All but one laid down their swords at their king's feet, feeling as though the hope for their land had died with him.

All but one. He was the leader of the paladins, and the one who rode first to battle. No, this one did not lay down his sword, but instead held it up for the light to hit.

The sword itself was a magnificent thing, the young general having gotten an Esthar prisoner to graft a strange machine called a 'gun' into it, making it even more powerful than what it was before. The first recorded gunblade.

As the young man pulled off his helmet, those around him gasped. Those who were not too dumbfounded to stand still like a brick dropped to their knees, bowing their heads respectively. The one who had led them so bravely in battle, at risk to his own life, was the king's own son, Pyralin. High Prince, and now King, of Palan'de'leiya.

He spoke:'Let us ride, my companions, for dawn shall see us victorious for yet another day. My father is dead, but I shall rule in his stead, and leave our wives and children nothing to fear!'

He perhaps spoke too soon. Not much long after that, during a fierce battle with a sorceress, the king of Palan'de'leiya was slain. He had left behind a fourteen-year-old widow, and a one-month old son. With the help of some of the paladins, and the widow herself, whose name was Chevresdegould('hair of gold', literally), the infant son took the throne.

The son lived a long life, producing many successors. Esthar itself signed a treaty upon his coming-of-age, and the land was at peace for nearly a thousand years. The blood line of Pyralin, and of Palan'de'leiya, held.

But another time came when it looked as though it would not be so. The threat was not from Esthar, but from dissension among the ranks of her own people. The king in question was actually not a king, but an emperor instead. Emperor Cecilanius, who ruled the throne with an iron fist and an iron purse. Taxes were hard, punishments for not paying them were harder. Few could believe that Pyralin's blood had come to this, although his greatness had been much exaggerated over the years.

He had a wife; my name was Empress Allanna during my life on earth when names mattered, and I was loved by the people. If it were not for the fact that I was carrying Cecilanius' unborn child, I may have escaped the onslaught that night. May have.

As it went, the Dolletian people revolted. This was only a few months before the Second Sorceress War, and had it not been for the Galbadian soldier Laguna Loire, Adel would have surely taken over the world for that reason. Dollet was weak and useless without an emperor to guide them, although they didn't think about that while they mercilessly flayed Cecilanius and thrust his severed head on a pike. He had been shot long before that, weapons and para-magic making such simple killing available.

The same fate would have befallen me if it were not for one of my serving maids, a young lady by the name of Faeye. Faeye had me bundled into a boat that would take me to Balamb, the country that had chosen to remain neutral in the face of Cecilanius' treachery. By meeting up with a friendly young married couple there who adored children, I had managed to save the last of Pyralin's blood, and the last true king of Palan'de'leiya.

I myself died not long after that from the fever that would kill so many, the fever wrought by Sorceress Adel. I had not even managed to name my baby, so soon had I died. The child himself was barely saved. After Cecilanius' fall, Adel had headed straight for the remnants of the Dollet Empire, seeking to destroy what she could. The Centra part of the Dolletian nation fell to the Lunar Cry itself.

Cecilanius was given a proper burial by several who remembered the old stories, and Pyralin, in the resting grounds of his ancestors, the Tomb of the Unknown King. Correctly, it should be called the Tomb of the Unknown Kings, but not many knew that more than one king was buried beneath there. He was also buried under the pretenses that calling a dead king by his name brought bad luck. Not many also knew that the only king buried there in a stone coffin was Pyralin himself; the rest had been freely laid to rest elsewhere on the grounds.

'Ahhhh, at last I am free from this cramped stone coffin. You must have been quite the mighty ones to have defeated the two Brothers. However, there is something I have been thinking of for a very long time. Is it really necessary to entomb those traveling to the other world, after such a long and tiring journey through life?'

Those are the words that the spirit of Pyralin had supposedly uttered when three young members of the elite mercenary force SeeD entered the Tomb and broke the seal to his coffin. Opinions on whether this was a holy act, or merely a desecration of a holy place, are still pending.

Faeye herself headed to Balamb as well, but no one knows much after that. Since no record of her has been found, it is safe to assume that she has died. No one ever acknowledged her as the one who saved the Kingdom of the Light.

The supposed descendant of Pyralin has yet to return to claim the throne. Many have long forgotten about him. Perhaps it would be better like that. Perhaps. The Dollet Dukedom has adopted a republican democracy as their form of government, however, since this alledged heir may very well be alive, they will change it to a monarchy if he decides to return and sit on the throne once more.

Many hope for his return, some dread it. The only dread I have is that my son will grow up to be like his father.............. The only dread I have.

Please, dear young lady, I beg of you! Through your eyes I could see my son again! Allow me to be a traveler through your mind, so that I may look to see what has become of the child I so desperately tried to protect...........

I may be banished to the darkness of Nemeris for this, so much I want to see him. Would you deny a mother this, when she has so much to lose, and nothing to gain, but this?

You, dear young lady, you who know my son well. I thank you.

I am surprised to see that a part of you still does not believe what I am telling you. You have seen it, and my son could tell you for himself. But I suppose your unfocused human minds can forget minor details when you sleep. Very well. My son. I would have named him Hyperion, but Cid and Edea Kramer chose well when they named him, I will allow.

Seifer.............. Yes, the Strength of the Sun.



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A very disgruntled me awoke at some unwanted rays of sunlight poking in through the blinds I had thought I had so carefully positioned in order to keep them out, cursing all the while. I hadn't slept good that night. After a long lecture about the history of the Dollet Empire---(No, Palan'de'leiya), I thought vaguely, remembering that much---some weirdo chick named Allanna had spoken to me, claiming to be the last empress of that very kingdom. Claimed that her son should rightfully be a king. Claimed that none other than Seifer Almasy is her son.

A laugh of something dangerously close to hysteria bubbled up inside me. Look, SEIFER thinking that he was a king certainly wouldn't hold credit with the Dollet Dukedom Parliament. That stupid thingy on his coat could mean anything! Maybe it was a replica, maybe he went scrounging around in the Tomb of the Unknown King(NOT Pyralin, people!) and pulled it off some dead dude's body. That Allanna chick raving in my mind was probably just a bad dream. Although, even if I WAS dreaming, WHY I allowed her free access to my mind was something even I would like to know.

I actually fell out of bed when the voice spoke in my head.'So, human. You think me no more than a fever dream. Or, perhaps a result of too much hits with a quarterstaff?'

"Who---"I started, but whatever in Hyne's name it was cut me off.

'No need, human. Speak to me only through your mind.'

I squinched my eyes shut and tried to think as hard as I could.'WHO.....ARE......YOU?'

Little did I know, that my mental voice was the equivalent to a shout. I found myself recoiling slightly as Allanna(whom I guessed it was, at any rate) recoiled.'Not so loud, human. You know well who I am. I am Allanna le Angelo de Veritate to the Centra, and Allanna Lionors Meriellelia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless to most men. Clan Chieftess to all of the Centra, Lady Ambassador to Esthar, and the last Empress of Palan'de'leiya.'

I knew but little Centra, new languages required thought and effort to learn, and I didn't have much of those as of late. However, I knew enough to know that she was called the Angel of Truth by the Centra. I thought that to be interesting. Her name(or many names, rather) had a nice ring to it."Okay, so I believe you on that. Nobody but the one who owned it would take it upon themself to remember all those names."I paused."I guess you want to see your son, hunh?"

I had spoken aloud again. Hyne, I would have to stop doing that. Allanna gave a droll chuckle in the back of my mind.'I have waited seventeen years in the other world, human. I can wait a little longer.'

While I dressed, we talked. At least, I TRIED to dress. It still felt like my head was spinning. Allanna's presence was bouncing around all in my skull. I really wanted to kick something.

'Human, you have yet to tell me your name.'

I smiled, then wondered if Allanna could see, since she was......oh, forget it! This was TOO creepy!"I'm Selphie. Selphie Tilmitt."

'In your mind, Selphie, in your mind. I think, in the old tongue of the Centra, I will call you Bella. I have little patience for those names with no meaning.'

Bella..........meaning beautiful. I flushed, but this time remembered to talk only in my mind.'Thanks, your........Highness? Grace? Majesty?'

Another dry laugh.'Simply Allanna, human. Bella, I have no need for such formalities in the other world.'

I wanted to ask questions about the other world, but thought that maybe it was forbidden. Forbidden?! Pah! What was I talking about?! Allanna wasn't real, and I was just on too much sugar, or maybe the Beast slipped me something while I was sleep---

'THE BEAST?!'Allanna roared, sounding much like her son in that instant. The force of it sent me slamming back into the wall, crashing into a mirror and sliding down to the floor.'YOU CALL MY SON A BEAST?!'

"Ow, ow, OW! OKAY!"I cried, covering my hands with my ears."I won't anymore, okay?! Just cut it out!!!"

Allanna's fury ceased, and the room replaced the sheet of all-red that had once been there. Shaking my head(and the rest of me was shaking too, slightly), I tugged on my boots and stumbled out into the hallway, not even caring that I didn't brush my hair or put on any makeup. It was just Vienna and the----Commander, that's all. Yeah, tee-hee. The Commander.

'My son...........built all this?'Allanna asked in awe behind me, as we walked through Esthar Garden. I laughed, it was funny how things that seemed everyday to us could be so different to someone else.

'Yeah, he did,'I replied, thankfully not speaking aloud. Although I think the effect made me slightly cross-eyed; everything seemed to take some time to focus when I was done. The elevator dinged, announcing our arrival to the third floor. My legs felt like this jellyfish that I had once found on the shore of Matron's house(I'd poked it a few times with a stick before she caught me and spanked me, tee-hee). It was, after all, the aftereffect of Allanna's first time in being in an elevator. I couldn't help but notice that a lot of her reactions were my reactions.

Noticing that I was a few minutes late, I knocked once and pushed open the door to Seifer's office(seeing as how I wasn't freely allowed to call him 'the Beast' anymore). He was alone, pacing irritably through his office, when I went in.

I found myself suddenly grabbing the doorjamb in a desperate attempt to keep my body from soaring directly at him and flinging itself in his arms. Sweat broke out on my face at the effort needed to keep Allanna at bay.'ALLANNA!!! STOP!!!! COME ON, YOU'RE NOT IN YOUR BODY!!!!!'

That stopped her---for the time being, at least. I could still feel her longing to hold her son at least once trying to break through my conciousness. This encounter with Allanna was definitely an encounter of the bizarro kind, I could wager you that.

But still, I felt sorry for her. It wasn't her fault that her husband was an ass, and that her son seemed to inhereit his personality solely from him. So, I tried to find physical contact with the Beast(I'd managed to shield that one from her, mind you) to a happy medium for both of us.

"Loire's late,"he growled irritably, and the snap to his voice made Allanna stir uneasily in the back of my mind.'................Hyperion is troubled.'

'It's okay, when Vienna gets here, it'll pass,'I sent back to her, trying to get her to stop stirring like that. My brain already felt like that nasty sand mush I remember Zell making as a kid, and then promptly eating it. That boy would happily eat pond scum if he didn't know what it was, and even then, he might make a go at it.

'Vienna is his lady?'Allanna seemed interested, concerned, and even slightly amused. I think that just made me feel sick. Apparently, Dollet hadn't been so reformed a government for them to have still used ye olde terms during a technological coming-of-age.

'No, a student,'I answered vaguely, wondering if I should poke him. I mean, a poke wasn't exactly a heartfelt gesture of love, but at least it might shut her up for a while.

'He teaches many, my son?'

THAT I didn't know. I gave a mental shrug(whoo-hoo! I was getting good at this!) and cast around blindly for an answer.'Well...........yeah, I guess you could say that.'Hey, teaching kids how to run the other way when he headed in their direction still counted as teaching them SOMETHING! ............Didn't it?

"She'll be here soon, sir,"I said aloud, and he turned slowly to me. I saw it now, the stupid little details I couldn't see before. I had to grab onto the doorjamb again for support as Allanna practically sent me swooning at the sight of her son.

'He's quite handsome, isn't he? Oh, to see my son grow up to be such a fine young man............'

I nearly choked on that, while the other part of me fought to stay upright. This Allanna business sure was getting out of hand, fast.'Jeez, Allanna! Faint over him later, I'VE got to maintain some dignity!!!'

'Very well,'she mumbled irritably, and let me have my peace. Once again, I felt like it wasn't going to last.

Seifer's eyes narrowed, if only slightly."What's your problem, Tilmitt? I mean, if you fell over, it would be funny and all, but..............."THAT was even more confusing then anything that had happened so far with Allanna."...............You all right?"It wasn't quite concern, but it wasn't quite the flat monotone that I'd become accustomed to. It was something in between, I guess.

I shrugged, trying to shake Allanna's presence out of my head. Then, just to make her happy, I went up and laid a hand on his arm."........I'm alright, tee-hee."A slightly embarrassed laugh, that quickly faded into a frown."But, something's been bothering me."

Allanna's exultation at being able to have a hand on her son at last was combined with her restlessness at the sight of the look that appeared on Seifer's face. It was........an almost pained look, if he could be said to have any emotion at all."...............That,"he said flatly."I shouldn't have told you."

I'd been expecting something like that.'My dear, sweet Hyperion, how I wish it would not trouble you so,'Allanna murmured mournfully. I wanted to find some way to kick her out of my head. But, a kick in the head would probably hurt just me, and do little to remove HER. Her constant sympathy for the only person I had ever truly hated was eating at my brain.

Because in a way, I was starting to feel sorry for him, too. The thought made me laugh at how much he would hate that. Finally, I spoke."Well, you did tell me, hee hee."I forced a smile, and found that for once, it wasn't too hard to do so."So now I know. But I want you to tell me something. If you knew, than why haven't you done anything about it?"

This was something I had been thinking of all night, staring up at him while he slept and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. That is, before I fell asleep and had that dream............... Something I had been thinking of..........

"............You could be king............."I said slowly, looking up at him and trying to gauge his reaction. But Seifer just looked like this wasn't any new news or anything.

"You think I haven't thought of that already, Tilmitt?!"His voice reminded me of the waves breaking on the rocks at Matron's house before a storm, and he thoroughly WRENCHED his arm out of my grasp before resuming his pacing, now more vexated than ever. At his sudden outburst, Allanna recoiled in the recesses of my mind, and I did, too. But for once, it wasn't just because she did."You think I'm as stupid as you, and haven't thought of that?!"Well, THAT hurt."Well, I have. And I'll tell you what I think. I don't WANT a stupid crown. I couldn't give a damn WHAT Dollet does with their Parliament and their army! Everything I get, I get it for a reason, and that's that!"

(So,)I thought to myself, and probably to Allanna, too,(that was it. He doesn't want it handed to him on a silver platter. Well, I suppose he'd be just as happy creating an army and flattening the whole area as he would be by having it be handed to him without any ado.)

'So, you have underestimated Hyperion,'mused Allanna.'I am afeared we all have.'

'What do you mean?'I sent back, glad that I caught on really quickly to this telepathy thing. True, calling on the GFs for help wasn't much different, but........

Oh, no! What if I started losing more of my memory because of Allanna, too?! No! I couldn't let that happen, not after I'd worked so hard to keep ahold of the few memories I did have!

'I mean to say that we thought he would simply bring Palan'de'leiya back from the dead,'the empress replied.'But it seems he will do quite the opposite, and leave it in ruin.'

(Just as well), I thought, keeping that one hidden from Allanna.(He's already full enough of himself as it is, without him being a king to boot.)

"All right, all right,"I said quietly, still feeling a sting of hurt that I had been dubbed 'stupid'. Truly, this was what our hate had come to. But I couldn't leave the idea alone. I wanted to KNOW. I mean, I knew what Allanna had told me, but.........well, I wanted to know what HE thought of it all. After all, the future of Palan'de'leiya now rested solely with him, the last of it's blood. So, I tried again.".....................Will you tell me?"

As it had so often before, the look of surprise faded just as quickly from his face as it had came, leaving me wondering if it had been there."Tell you what?"Now he was just wary.

"...........About...........you know."I gave an uneasy shrug."............About---the Dollet Empire."I had almost ended up saying 'Palan'de'leiya', which wasn't very good if I was going to keep trying to hide the fact that I knew most of the history already. I wasn't very good at hiding things. Once, I stole Headmaster Cid's favorite tie and tried to hide it from him, but in the end I just ended up parading around the house with it tied around my head like a bandana, and everyone found out, anyway.

The wary look still remained."Later, Tilmitt, later,"was all he said, just as Vienna came bursting in the office, bright red and panting heavily.

"Suh...........sorry.............sir!"she managed after a time, standing upright and saluting."They locked me in the...............trash can................"Her face grew even redder, and I knew it wasn't from exertion. I felt a stab of pity for Vienna; I knew that most of the other girls in our class didn't think much of her, especially now that she was getting special training from 'the-oh-so-dreamy-Sir-Seifer' himself. Vaguely, I tried to ignore the banana peel that was flopping out of her hair.

'That is the Vienna you spoke of? She seems to lack a proper sense of authority.'

'Oh, shut up,'I muttered back to her.'Vienna's a good kid; it's not her fault the rest of them are mean to her. She just doesn't like fighting.'

'That is good,'admitted Allanna.'For the day she loves to use her gunblade will be the day she should throw it away. She is wiser than most humans.'

"No matter,"said Seifer idly, taking a seat as his desk. The same desk where he and that blonde receptionist..........oh, yuck!

'What of Hyperion and one of his underlings?'Allanna's usually dry tone now helt a hint of anger. I jumped from where I was standing and was given odd looks by both Vienna and Seifer himself.

'Uh......nothing. She, uh.........spilled his coffee over his desk one day, and, uh...............'The whole time, I was staring at the steaming mug of my favorite beverage in the world on the very same desk where......... NO!!!!!!!!!! BY HYNE, I WOULDN'T THINK MORE OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Well, Bella, coffee does have a rather strong odor to it. And it leaves quite a nasty stain. But why think of it now?'

'Erm, I like coffee. But whoever brewed that pot must've pissed in it, too. It tasted pretty foul.'

I suddenly remembered that those weren't exactly the type of words you spoke to an empress. However, Allanna's roaring laughter soon filled my head.'Bella, you are a strange one, I think! I shall gain much from this encounter, and I do not mean just by the ways of my son.'Her voice suddenly grew sad.'I feel as though this will make the shadow of Nemeris almost seem worth it.'

"Loire, it's about your training."I fled from Allanna and back to reality at the sound of Seifer's voice. I could feel my eyes uncrossing themselves. Thankfully, no one noticed.

"Y-Yes, sir?"

"................I'm discontinuing it."Vienna's face looked as though she had suddenly been hit by one of those buses in Deling City.

"Why, sir?! I know that I did badly during our first session, but I'll learn, I promise! Please, sir! I only want Father to be proud of me!"

Seifer was shaking his head; I knew that nothing got to that man."You will, Loire, don't worry. Just not with a gunblade. You're going under Tilmitt for specialized training."

I knew that I must've gotten the hit-by-Deling-bus look, too."Sir?! I don't know a thing about gunblades, and---"

"Of course you do,"he cut me off."I've seen you with the Hyperion. But that's not the point. Loire, you're not made for a gunblade. You're too fast; you should've chose a weapon with more flexibility. So, I'm suggesting that change your weapon of choice to nunchaku."

'..............Hyperion................?'Allanna stirred in the innermost depths of my head, and I hastened to make her shut up. I didn't want anyone to see me cross-eyed.

'His gunblade. You know, like the thingy Pyralin had. He called it Hyperion.'

'Hmmm............that is most interesting, don't you think? I shall dwell on this.'Thankfully, she left my head to dwell on it alone.

"V-Very well, sir."Vienna looked as though she wanted to argue with him some more, but thought better of it. She knew as well as I did that trying to argue with Seifer once he had his mind made up was like trying to pull a brick from a wall with only your fingernails. Oh, I tried once before, when Irvine told me he had hidden my favorite doll behind the stone. I peeled all my fingernails off that way, so I didn't have anything to claw him with when Matron produced Mrs. Tinkets."May I be excused, sir?"

A curt nod, still with a wary look on his face."...........Yeah, dismissed. I'll set you up with Tilmitt for private lessons."Vienna sighed heavily and departed, her mind still clearly on the Nemeris.

But I had known that Seifer was right. Maybe not about the nunchaku part, but certainly about the Nemeris. I'd seen it, during that first training session. I only hoped that she would end up all right with the nunchaku. I wanted Sir Laguna to be proud of her, too.

"Now, Tilmitt."I'd just been about to leave, Hyne blast him. I had class in ten minutes.

"Sir?"

"I've been thinking on something. Yesterday. At the training center. You've got a swordswoman's grace, a sharp eye, and a keen sense of what hurts the most. A natural if I ever saw one, Tilmitt. A natural gunblade master---or I should say mistress, rather. A damn natural. That's why, you're gonna start training with me."

Like when I'd found out that he was a king, some noise I couldn't quite count as anything in particular made it's way past the sudden lump that had built up in my throat. No way could he mean this. I mean, I'd fought with nunchaku my WHOLE LIFE. And now, I'm just suddenly supposed to drop everything and learn something new? I was NOT about to make a total ass out of myself---and least of all in front of him.

Once the grunt-squeak-caw noise that I made had escaped my lips, and the Blobra that had made it's way into my windpipe passed, I opened my mouth to protest.

"It's not a request,"Seifer cut me off, Hyne blast him again."An order. An order from your superior."

WELL, DAMN, AGAIN! I HATED THAT STUPID 'ORDER-BY-SUPERIOR' THING! I WANTED TO SHOOT IT, I WANTED TO MURDER IT, I WANTED TO FEED IT TO A MALBORO PIECE BY LOUSY, STINKING, CARRION PIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"................Okay, sir,"I said, putting on a bright smile. At least I was good at pretending I was always happy. Of course, I hadn't been pretending until I joined this stupid Esthar Garden---

"Too bad it cuts into your frees, but you've got one left for grading and planning. We'll take over Loire's training time, first thing in the morning. I'll send her to you during your last free, at the end of the day. At least you can eat lunch in piece."

My teeth ground audibly, I knew it. I was suprised that no one in the room heard. Lucky, was more like it. "Of course, sir. Thank you, sir."

I'd been about to walk away AGAIN, when he called me back. Thrice- accursed man. I hoped Hyne would strike him dead on the spot."Tilmitt."All thoughts of cursing him vanished when I saw the look on Seifer's face. Not pained, not irritated(wow! there was a first for everything), not wary. Tired. No, not even tired, beyond that. Haggard, I think would be the best world. Yeah, haggard."Today. At the end of the day, we'll walk. And I'll tell you. About the Dollet Empire. And me."

I gripped the doorjamb again; Allanna had tried to cross the room to her son and engulf him in a huge hug. I really didn't need that, now."...........All right, sir."Without even waiting for him to dismiss me, I beat a hasty retreat, closing the door behind me then leaning up against it. I felt Allanna reappear in my mind again.

'.....................Well, the tables have turned. It seems that Hyperion is troubling YOU.'

'Yeah, well............oh, jeez, Allanna! I don't need this.'I cast around for a different topic.'Erm..............how exactly did you.................GET here, Allanna?'

I could feel her puzzlement, like giant question marks flashing through my brain.'In what sense do you mean, 'get here'?'

'Well..............you said that you'd be banished to Nemeris if anyone found out what you'd done. But HOW did you get inside of my head? How'd you make me have that dream?'

She seemed surprised.'You yourself allowed me posession of your mind, to see my son again. However, I had waited many long years for the one chance I had................ Bella, you are a canidate for sorceress embodiment. The ways in which I entered your dream were rather simple, like the sorceress ways of posession. However, because I am long dead in this world, it is not total posession, and I required your permission for even this small allowance. Bella, it was you who was the trigger, so to speak. I did not send you a dream of Palan'de'leiya, you dreamed of it on your own. And because your dream dealt with the history that was mine, I was able leave the Place Between the Worlds and enter your thoughts.'She paused.'You have regrets, Bella?'

No, but I had a helluva a lot of other things! I was a CANIDATE FOR SORCERESS EMBODIMENT?!?!?! NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I COULDN'T BE!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NO SORCERESS; THAT WAS RINOA, SHE---!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't think right now. WHY WAS ALL THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?! IT WOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED IF SQUALL HADN'T GIVEN ME THIS STUPID MISSION, AND I'D JUST STAYED IN BALAMB LIKE A NORMAL, SANE, INTELLEGENT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, so many people had already told me that I was none of those things. Zell, for one. Seifer, for another. But then again, something else occured to me. All of this started just because I couldn't let go of the fact that I'd been made a fool of in front of the wife of the mayor of a small pacifist community in the middle of the ocean.

'No, Allanna. But I wish I wasn't here.'

'You have somewhere else to be?'

'Yeah, back over in Balamb.'A pause.'I'm sure you know Balamb. It's where you met Headmaster Cid and Matron---or more correctly, Sorceress Edea. They did build their Garden, so you know. I'm a student there---or was, rather.'

'Ah...............so I had guessed. You DID know Hyperion.'

'Yeah..............'I gave a restless mental shrug.'I grew up with him. But we don't really remember a lot about it.'Omitting the constant hair- pulling and name-calling that I DID remember, that is.

This had to be a dream. A freaky, sick, twisted................. No, okay, it was definitely too WEIRD to be a dream. Kinda like the thing with Sir Laguna, and HE was real. But this couldn't be the past, so.........maybe it was the future? OH, NO!!!!! YOU MEAN, I HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS INSANITY NOT JUST ONCE, BUT TWICE?!?!?!?!

Okay, so the thing with Allanna definitely WAS an encounter of the bizarro kind.

I tried to sum up what had happened so far. I'd gone to Esthar under Squall's orders, trying to find out who was funding Esthar Garden and what exactly their plans were. Became an instructor. Ended up with Seifer trailing me around like a D-District warden because I'd made a careless, retarded mistake. Lots of strange, strange happenings. Get eye-popped and mentally undressed by a bunch of sick, old perverts at a dinner in Esthar. Have a run-in with a raging lesbian(now THAT was interesting, mind you). Started training Vienna Casanova, who is actually Vienna Loire in disguise, Sir Laguna's daughter. Discover that none other than Seifer Almasy himself is the last emperor of Dollet. Have his psycho, Nemeris-bound mother, Allanna, inhabit my brain so she can see the thing she died for. Am supposed to start training with a gunblade, something I have never worked with IN MY LIFE. Also supposed to give Vienna private nunchaku lessons, along with basic combat skills for Mira's quarterstaff class, which gives me no more free periods.

Oh, my. I almost wished that my head WOULD explode, just so I could be free from this madness. I really needed a vacation.

Then came Allanna's voice, calm and reassuring in my mind.'Do not fear, Bella. All will right itself in due course.'

Easy for HER to say. But then again, she was about to be banished to the underworld just to see a son who wasn't really worth the view, if you know what I mean.

I uncrossed my eyes(Hyne, I would have to get this mental speech thing down WITHOUT looking like a drooling, bumbling idiot while doing so) and headed to the elevator.

It's a pretty bad thing when you're an instructor, and you're late for your own class.



**************************************************************************** *************************



"..............And so, Mog finally gained his wings, and was able to fly at last,"I finished in a monotone, putting down my book and staring blandly at the already-sleeping group of junior classmen on the floor. Garden admitted students at the age of five, and every single one of them just HAD to be in my class. Well, I think I was the only instructor who could STAND having so many children around me at once. The rest of them were kinda stiff, if you get my drift.

The senior classmen who came in and collected the younger ones entered just as soon as I had put my book down, wiping finger paint off of my face where they had splattered it. Collecting all the mess together into a heavy load in my arms, I went to stand up.

And fell back down again, as I realized those little rats had Super-Glued my butt to the classroom floor. OH, HYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankfully, Vienna came in just as I was about to yell for a little help, and we managed to unstick myself. However, my skirt ripped open fully at the seat, leaving a nice big hole. I mean, it was one of those TV-sized holes, where your whole butt and kitty-cat printed underwear showed right through. Growling irritably, I slammed the door shut and locked it automatically with my ID card. I saw Vienna trying to hide giggles, but that was okay. It would be even worse if one of my other students walked in here, especially a GUY student. Except for Fearo; he was gay, so it didn't really matter.

Anyway, I set about teaching Vienna the ways of the nunchaku. I gave her some Flail to start out, it was a basic weapon that could still cause quite a bit of damage. My own weapon at first, too.

At first swing, I could tell that Seifer had been right. She WAS built for nunchaku. I'd always had a slow speed stat, so some things didn't come quite as fluidly to me, but Vienna was where I had been after my first WEEK of training on her first DAY! She'd be quite a master, I could tell you that. Better than me, definitely. I began to wonder if maybe another weapon WOULD be good for me. Not a gunblade, most certainly no, but maybe something else? A whip? Quisty wasn't very fast, either. Or a gun? Projectile weapons? Zan? Quarterstaff? Oh, ANYTHING but a gunblade!

"Did I do well, Instructor?"Vienna asked me eagerly when we'd finished, panting a bit and putting away her Flail. I smiled, and meant it.

"Best I've seen in a while,"I told her proudly. That much was true. Most kids in my specialized combat class could barely tell one end of their nunchaku from the other. Vienna positively glowed.

"Thanks, Instructor!"She waved hurriedly and headed for the door."I've got some friends to meet out on the Quad, I don't want to be late!"

I was about to yell after her to bring me an extra skirt if she could spare it, but she was already out of the door by then. Which was just as well, I suppose. Truthfully, I was glad to hear that she had finally made some friends, and I wouldn't want them to be mad at her if she was late. Also, even though she might try to hold it back, the prospect of new friends might be too great, that she might end up blabbing about my little 'incident' to all of them.

As soon as she left, I locked the door again, deciding to wait until after curfew to slip back and maintain my dignity. However, I had forgotten one minor detail. The Beast.

I heard footsteps not long after Vienna had left, someone slammed into the door, there was a muffled curse, then a few computerized beeps, then the electronic swish of the door being opened.

I squeaked and managed to turn so I was facing the door, and that my hole- ridden skirt was facing the back wall. Seifer strode in like he owned the place(whoops, bad analogy, considering as how he DID own the place), despite one hand being held up to his now-bruised forehead."Damn electronic locks, should've never---"He stopped his frenzied muttering and turned to me. I shifted again, so my back was away from him."Well, you're here."

I paused; waited for the traditional line. Yup, there it was!"...............Tilmitt. Walk with me."

(Slight problem with that, sir),I thought to myself.(Seeing as how half of my skirt had been reduced to tatters and my ass is hanging out of those tatters, I don't think it would be appropriate---)"Sorry, sir, but I'm really busy right now, and---"

"Training with Loire's over; I saw her heading towards the Quad."Again, that ever-so-slight narrowing of the eyes."...............Tilmitt, walk with me."He started towards me, I turned again so I was facing him directly. This time, the narrowing of his eyes was visible. He tried another direction, I turned. By now, my face was the color of a sunburned Red Bat.

"Turn around, Tilmitt."A pause.".............NOW..............."

It was like the 'or else', meant to drive fear into the hearts of men, and working brilliantly. Feeling as though I had swallowed my tongue, I shook my head. The Blobra that had been in my throat earlier was back, even more large and engorged than ever. And, just when I thought I had gotten rid of her, Allanna was back, stirring up trouble in the recesses of my subconciousness.

"No?"I was surprised to see a smirk creep up the Beast's face. A smirk that boded nothing but ill for me, I wagered."Well then, there's gotta be a reason, doesn't there? Come on, Tilmitt, what're you hiding?"

"Nothing,"I said, managing to sound unsuspiciously indignant. It was only half a lie, I guess. In truth, I was hiding my exposed underwear from him, but I was positive that it was nothing he'd particularly care about.

"Nothing? I doubt that."And there was Allanna again, flitting around restlessly at the tone of Seifer's voice. I just wanted to grab my Strange Vision and hit them all.

So, he started trying to get around me, and I kept jumping out of the way so I was always facing him. It was actually kinda funny, watching his face go from tan, to red, to almost purple as his irritation grew.

But aught went amiss. The next time I dodged him to go around him, he stuck his foot out as quick as you please, and tripped me up, flat on my face! Well, it was all over, now. I dropped my head down onto the floor, defeated, and gave a huge moan into the carpet. My life was over. By tomorrow, everyone would start calling me 'Instructor Blow-Out' or 'Butt-sy Tilmitt', or something like that.

Oh, Hyne, even ALLANNA was laughing at me, sounding like a hundred bees buzzing through my head.

"H-Hyne, T-Tilmitt, what h-happened?"Seifer's voice was shaking as he fought to contain his outright laughter. I flopped over angrily and glared up at him. A full-fledged grin was on his face, but at least he wasn't laughing openly, although the telltale shake of his voice and his shoulders told me clearly how much he wanted to.

"Laugh it up, you know you want to!"I said peevishly, sitting up and trying to straighten out my uniform---or what was left of it, at least."Your stupid junior classmen Super-Glued me to the floor, and my skirt ripped trying to get up!"

He laughed, great booming laughter in his baritone voice that vaguely echoed his mother's inside of my mind. Seizing one of the children's building blocks, I heaved it at him as hard as I could. Still shaking all over with laughter, he caught it without effort. Being thoroughly cheated of my sport, I stood up in a rage and went to go.

"W-Wait!"he called after me, positively wheezing. WHEEZING he was, that great ugly lout! I'd like to see HIM Super-Glued to the floor---hey, wait! The glimmers of a plan began to form in my mind, of the perfect revenge."Y- You can't g-go out there l-like THAT................"

"Well, why not?"I demanded, my nostrils flaring."Since YOU'RE going to have informed the whole Garden by tomorrow about what those little weasels did, I might as well let them have a sight with their OWN eyes---"

Laughter convulsed him once again, but he freed a hand from clutching his stomach to wave me back."D-Don't..........j-jeez, T- Tilmitt............."After a few minutes, he managed to put on a straight voice, though his voice was quite steady yet, and there was a tic to the corners of his mouth.

'Well done, Bella, in amusing Hyperion,'commented Allanna, a tone of satisfaction in her voice. I didn't know which one I wanted to hit more, Allanna or her son.'Something tells me he has little to laugh at, these days.'

'Oh, who cares?!'I growled back, crossing my arms across my chest and uncrossing my eyes.

"Okay, okay,"said Seifer finally, though he sounded a bit out of breath. Then, to my most ultimate surprise, he shrugged himself out of his coat and slung it over me, still twitching slightly and trying not to grin. However, he was so tall, that whereas it only fell to his calves, on me, it brushed the ground. AND the sleeves were too big, practically flopping off of my arms. I probably looked like a walking circus tent, but at least I didn't look like a walking porn advertisement, now.

The flaming sword of Palan'de'leiya caught my eye, and I held my arm out in front of me, brushing it slightly with my fingertips. I wondered why a sword, a FLAMING sword, nonetheless, would be the signature of the paladins.

"I said we'd walk."The last emperor still sounded a bit too amused for my liking."And that I'd tell you all about that."A twitch."But then again, I wasn't exactly counting on you to get glued to the floor, either.........."

(Just you wait!)I thought viciously.(I'LL be the one who's twitching last, believe you me!)Wait. Maybe that wasn't exactly the thing to say. But I couldn't say 'laughing last', because he wasn't laughing anymore. Oh, whatever!

'You speak too often to yourself, Bella,'spoke up Allanna in my mind.'Perhaps you should say something to my son...............he looks rather forlorn.'

'Oh, go away, Allanna! PLEASE, can't I just have one night of peace?!'

'...............Perhaps. But only if you will put aside this grudge you have against my son.'A mental pause.'For tonight, at least.'

'Fine,'I allowed, grudgingly(tee-hee!).'Just get outta my head, will ya?!'

It worked; she retreated. Remembering what mental speech did to me, I hurriedly slid a glance over to Seifer to make sure that he hadn't noticed how my eyes had crossed. No; he was staring fixedly at his coat like he wanted it back."Erm...........you wanted to walk?"I pointed out, and he shook it off.

"........Yeah. Let's go."We headed out of the door. Accusing glares from female students and knowing smirks from male students greeted us as soon as they saw that we were walking out of the door together. I shifted uncomfortably under their stares.

"Can we---can we go somewhere OUTSIDE of Garden?"I asked slowly."I don't think I like the looks those girls over there are giving me.............."

Ordinarily, he would have laughed, but I could tell there was a lot on his mind.".........Yeah, alright.......... We'll take a walk out to the train station."

Passing through the halls, I didn't say a single word until we were out of Garden. I had thought that we had planned to walk, but we ended up taking a Garden car instead. It was still an hour-long drive to the train station, probably a five-day walk. So I guess we shouldn't have walked, tee- hee.

The steady hum of the car was driving me insane. I wanted to turn on the radio and break the tension that seemed to have surfaced from out of nowhere. It was like that toad Irvine had put in Quisty's bathtub as a kid-- -it just lay there, ready to spring as soon as she stepped into the water. I just hoped that when it did, I wouldn't end up slipping and cracking my head open like she did.

Still, I couldn't exactly demand an explanation out of him. Seifer seemed to be struggling for a way to begin as it was. After some time, he finally spoke.

"...................My father was Cecilanius Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless,"he started, and I knew it just wasn't caution that made him keep his eyes focused so intently on the road ahead of him as he drove,"and my mother was Allanna Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless, even though she was more often than not called Allana le Angelo de Veritate. The Angel of Truth in Centra, you know. I could trace you my whole lineage back up to Pyralin himself, but it's history you should know. I remember being taught it as a teenager, back at Balamb."

He grimaced at the memory, then went on."The paladins were formed during the age First Golden Age, around 400 FGA, I think. Even then, 'paladins' weren't their real names. They were actually called 'pala'de'lins', shortened to 'paladins'. Pala'de'lin means 'king of swords' in Centra. They were blademasters, but also skilled in other forms of warfare. Pyralin's favorite thing to do would be to coat his sword in oil and set it ablaze before he went into battle. That's what his name means, 'fire sword'. And that's why the insignia of both the paladins and the Dolletian royal house is a flaming sword."

Seifer laughed bitterly, still not taking his eyes from the road. Which I guessed I should have thanked Hyne for, at least he wasn't on a suicide trip..........yet."I tried to do the same thing, but all I could come up with were my Limit Breaks. I guess Fire Cross came close, but............."He shrugged offhandedly."My own shortcomings aren't the point though, are they? I'm supposed to tell you about Dollet."

A pause."Well, it was called Palan'de'leiya, actually---the Kingdom of the Light. Controlled most of the world until Esthar's rise. Even 400 years ago, they still had the most advanced technology you'd ever seen, and even 400 years ago, they still fought under a sorceress. Should've crushed the whole Dollet Empire, but they were stronger than anyone thought. And with the paladins riding at their side, why shouldn't they have been?"

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel thoughtfully."Palan'de'leiya didn't fall until the old king died, and Pyralin died not long after that. The old king(Mandear was his name, I think) fell in battle, and when Pyralin went to avenge his death, he was slain by a sorceress. Well, it didn't FALL, exactly.......... I guess you could just say that it was a bit of tough times for Dollet. The only heir left was an infant. Others wanted to seize the throne, but Pyralin's widow(Chevresdegould, 'hair of gold', she was called) and the paladins managed to help the kid hold claim to his birthright."

More silence, even longer than before."Things were pretty peaceful after that, for 350 years. Then came the mess with my father."

His tone had turned bitter. I was glad that Allanna wasn't around to hear."A tyrant if there ever was one, you know. I'm sure you've read of him, and what Dollet did to him. Shot him(at least he had a painless death, even if what they did after he died was a particularly heinous), put his head on a pike, and basically ripped him limb from accursed limb. Would've killed mother, too. Not for any reason, of course."

This time, there was no mistaking it. A look of sharpened pain came across his face."Not any reason except for me."

Sharpened pain, that was the only way I could think of to describe it. I mean, his face looked pretty pissed off, but he had the look of a griever in his eyes. And I'm not talking about the GF, either. Almost as if he was afraid he'd never start again if he stopped right there, Seifer went on."People wanted to be a free land, again. They didn't want another emperor, who'd end up to be like my father. That's why they tried to kill Mother---because they wanted to kill me."

A harsh laugh, almost like a bark, escaped from him."Maybe I should have let them. Maybe Mother should have let them. All I'm stuck with now is a crown I don't want."

"Erm............."I frowned, not quite wanting to meet his eyes."What about your parents?"

"I told you, didn't I?! They're both dead! They killed my father, and Mother died of a fever not long after she had me."I think I picked a bad subject to bring up."............My father was a jerk, a real asshole. A lot like me, I'll wager. The people loved my mother, but all I saw was a coward who was too afraid to stand up to him and make him stop, and I'm not sure who I hate more, him or her................."

Those words hit me like the time I went skinny dipping off the coast of the Bika snowfields in Trabia and first hit the water. He couldn't mean that, could he? I mean, after what his mother did to SAVE him? No, wait. Of course he meant it. This guy was always serious, like Squall.

(Poor Allanna), I thought, and I was as surprised as anyone else would have been to find tears welling up in my eyes.(She has no idea.)

"Well, my mother got me to Cid and Edea. It was actually Matron who told me the truth, when I was five."Another laugh that was more like a bark."Only five! It was my first day at Garden; you little kids were a year younger than me and Quistis, and she wouldn't be five for another two months, so it was just me. The only time in my life I've ever been scared, I'll admit that now. I don't like people, and there were too many around. So Matron noticed, and told me the truth, about my real name and heritage. And she said that if anyone ever tried to make me feel like I was less than what I was, then to remember that I was a king, even if I was a king only to myself."

That made me want to cry even more."What's your problem?"He had caught my expression. I swallowed hard. NO! I wouldn't feel sorry for him! I WOULDN'T!!!

But I made a vow to always be light-hearted around him, starting today. It was something I did for everyone else, to make them feel better."Nothing, tee-hee."I put on my biggest smile yet."Well, you're a king, now. As much as I'd like to hurl a brick at your face or something like that, I suppose I can't."

Seifer's eyes were back on the road, still staring darkly ahead, like he wanted lightning to come down from the heavens and strike whatever lay up ahead. Which would actually happen to be the train station, by the way. I could see it's lights up ahead, through the darkness.

We stopped, got out of the car, and stood facing one another. I managed to hold his stare evenly from over the car roof, even though my head barely reached the top of it, and his towered nearly as high as the radio antenna. I thought for a minute that he was going to say something, but then he headed for the ticket booth without a word. Shrugging to myself, I followed him.

There was a pretty girl there, even though I didn't know she was a girl at first. Her short, bowl-cut brown hair and angular face made me think she was a guy. Kinda like Adel, except she wasn't nearly as hideous looking. She wore a button-up man's dress shirt that was halfway unbuttoned, showing off a camoflauge tank top underneath. Hyne, even her CLOTHES were boyish."Hey, 'Sir Seifer',"she laughed, at seeing him, and put on a mock bow. Her eyes fell on me."Hey, it's you!"

"Do I..........know you?"I asked, not wanting to sound rude, but wanting to know at the same time.

"Hello, Aeiz,"mumbled Seifer, still looking distracted. I frowned. Aeiz........that sounded awfully familiar........

"Are you sure this cutie doesn't swing that way, man?"the girl whom I took to be called Aeiz asked of him, tilting her head at me consideringly. She put on a face of mock pitifulness."It gets so LONELY out here, being a ticket saleswoman and all............."

My eyes enlarged themself enough to be nearly to the point of popping out of my head. THIS was the lesbian chick!!! Oh, Hyne!"I---You're---what?"

Aeiz nearly rolled on the ground in mirth at my reaction, and even Seifer managed a small laugh, giving a partly rueful grin and shaking his head, but still not looking up from the ground. My shock turned to suspicion. Maybe this was just a running joke the two of them had going, or something."Hey..................are you SURE you're...........I mean, you're not just kidding me, are you?"

That made Aeiz laugh harder, if that was possible."Yeah, cutie, I dig girls,"she admitted, chortling as if it was the funniest thing in the world."You were sleeping the first time I saw you, but even then, you were still quite a sight to see,"she added, looking me up and down. I felt my face flame up at her scrutiny. She just laughed some more, although not unkindly."It's okay, it's okay. Clearly, I can tell your thoughts don't run like that, and I was just kidding you, anyway. I mean, you ARE cute, but........."

She shrugged."I dunno. I guess I just get my kicks off of pretending to hit on cute little girls, just to see them try to worm their way out of it. It's even better for the ones who don't know I'm a lesbian, mind you. They try to figure out what it is, instead of facing the truth."She chuckled some more."Hyne, it's fun."

I didn't want to admit it, but it sure SOUNDED like fun. I wondered what it was like, being with another girl. NO, WAIT!!!!!! I did NOT just think that!!! Oh, YUCK! Jeez, being in Esthar sure is doing weird things to me!!!!!!!

Thankfully, Aeiz spoke up again, this time on a different subject."Hey, what are you two doing here, anyway? I mean, the last train to the Airstation leaves in ten minutes, but I don't think you intended on going to Esthar."

"Just a drive,"I answered quickly, but not too quickly. I don't even think Seifer was paying attention. He seemed bothered by something that he saw on the ground, tee-hee. That is to say, he was lost in his own thoughts(although once again, the thought of him THINKING was mind- boggling).

Aeiz seemed to consider this."Well, I guess that works,"she said, after a pause."But you should actually be going, now. Station's closing up, and I know that 'Sir Seifer'"---she rolled her eyes at the title---"has to get up early in the morning and chastize you Garden twits."

I grinned, I liked Aeiz already. HYNE, not in THAT sense! But she was funny."Yeah, we should."She was already turning off the lights in the station."It was...........interesting meeting you, Aeiz."

"Yeah, you too. Hey, I didn't catch your name."

"Selphie,"I replied."Selphie Tilmitt."

"Well, you know me. Aeiz Rhiannalla, resident lesbian of Esthar."We laughed at that. Aeiz took the station keys from her pocket and locked up the ticket booth."Well, it's a long drive back to where I live, so I'd best be going. See ya around, Selphie. Later, 'Sir Seifer'."

Aeiz frowned at his lack of response, shrugged, went to walk past me and head to her car, and..........PINCHED MY BUTT! No, I am NOT kidding you! She strolled on by, as casual as you please, then did THAT! Something I'd never let ANYONE do, not even Irvine, when we were dating! Oh, Hyne, this lesbian business was complicated!

I was still standing flabbergasted as she waved, hopped in her car, and drove away, honking the horn at us as she went by. A chill breeze blew by where she had once been, reminding me that we were supposed to be leaving.

I turned slowly and faced Seifer, glad that I was still wearing his coat. For two reasons. Number one, the obvious chill, and the fact that I was cold enough with barely two inches of fabric from my sundress coming down over my legs. Number two, Aeiz. I'm not sure WHAT she would have done if she could see my kitty-cat underwear, not to mention the fact that her little 'pinch'(which was more like a tug, if you know what I mean) would have hurt a heckuva lot more. But that was beside the point.

"Um.........are you ready to go, sir?"I asked, frowning slightly. He hadn't even awknowledged Aeiz while we had talked, nor when she had said goodbye. It was unlike him to be so............quiet.

There was something in his eyes."Yeah, let's get the hell outta here."And somehow, I didn't think he was talking about the train station.

I was just about to climb in the car again when I changed my mind and dove for the driver's seat. Seifer didn't look amused."Look Tilmitt, you said you wanted to go, so---"

"I'll drive, tee-hee,"I said, hoping he didn't think it was a cruel, cruel joke. Besides, I already HAD the perfect plan to get revenge."Hey, I'm not gonna send us into a ditch or anything! There's only one road outta here that goes to Garden, so it's not like I'll get LOST."Well, that was debatable. Once, I got lost on the way back to my own dorm in Balamb.

Seifer seemed to contemplate this for a second. Once again, it was still an odd sight to see. Finally, he relented. I think he guessed about my doubts of his continuing sanity. Heaving a sigh so massive that it seemed as if his whole body would deflate before my very eyes, he crossed to the other side of the car and dropped into the passenger's seat. The odd thing was, he sat sideways, so that he was facing the door, and that his back was to me.

I shrugged it off, figuring that some people had weird riding habits, and turned the key in the ignition. Thinking to turn the radio on, I hastily shut it off when the first song I heard was 'Eyes on Me' by Julia Heartilly, Rinoa's mom. I think I would have LIKED Miss Julia, but I didn't like that song.

There was a sweet, blessed silence for a long time after that. I was tired, and all I really wanted to do was go back to Garden and drop into bed. I'd been driving along for about fifteen minutes when I heard another gargantuan sigh off to my right, and Seifer dropped backwards, stretching out over the expanse of the little red sports car like he wanted to drop off to sleep right then and there.

Only problem with that was, he was using MY lap as a pillow.

The shock caused me to swerve off to the right, nearly hitting an oncoming tree. Muttering a vile oath under my breath, I yanked the steering wheel and got us back safely on the road. I glanced down enough to see that Seifer was watching me. Not glaring at me, or eyeing me, just.........watching. I couldn't think of a better way to say it except for that. There wasn't really an expression on his face. It made me think of the time that Zell and I were in class and he fell asleep with his eyes open, and the only way you could tell that he was asleep was because he was drooling and muttering stuff under his breath. But then again, Zell always was a weird pig.

I drew a few shaky breaths and concentrated on the road. It wouldn't do me any good if I got us killed.

"Hey, Tilmitt,"said Seifer suddenly, out of the darkness. Not wanting to cause a major accident, I pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park before looking down at him. Once again, that bland stare.

"Hmmm?"I asked, wanting to fold my hands in my lap as was my custom, but not being able to.

"Do you...............remember anything when we were back in Matron's orphanage?"

Now THAT was a startling question. I shook my head, my three strategically-placed curls swinging."No, because of the GFs. I didn't even know Matron was the sorceress until Irvine told us. He hadn't used GFs before he met us, so he still remembered."

A pause. Seifer's eyes weighed, considered."No............come to think of it, neither did I, after I left. So, you got to live in the dark. I had to grow up knowing that my life was a lie."

I didn't know what to say to that. I figured it was maybe one of those monologue things, and that I should just let him say whatever it was he wanted to say. Not like any intellegent conversation was going to come out of my mouth, anyway."My parents being royalty. Hah! ME being royalty, for that fact. As a kid, I thought about it all the time. What I could do to you whining brats because I knew. And even that didn't change as I got older."

Well, that much was true. But I had never thought that his hatred of us had run so deep, back to when we were just kids who probably didn't even know the meaning OF hate."I think, I was just jealous of you all. Because you were living in the dark. If Matron and Cid had told you that they were your parents, you would've believed it. Chickenwuss believed when he said that Mrs. Dincht was his mother."A pause."And what about you, Tilmitt? Where did you go?"

"Up north, tee-hee. Not as north as Trabia, no. But I did live with the Tilmitts near Timber. For a while, at least. Until I applied for Trabia Garden when I was eight."

"Hmmm."Not a speculative 'hmmm' or a thoughtful 'hmmm'. Just what it was; a bland, dry, completely-lacking-in-emotion 'hmmm'."Well, I remember a lot. Too much for my liking, even. I remember that each of you kids were all tied in together, and always seemed to stick together whenever I picked a fight. You formed a circle, a tight one, and I was on the outside. You and Quisty seemed like you wanted to let me in, but the others wouldn't have it."

I was surprised to hear him call his 'DEAR instructor' by her nickname, Quisty."Ellone never liked me very much, either, but she didn't show it."Yet again, one of those laughs that was more like a bark."Of course she didn't. She never showed it. Still, I always wondered about that girl. While the rest of you were busy running to her to be coddled and petted, more often than not I'd find her staring at me from afar, like a puzzle she'd come across and was trying to figure it out. But I knew. I knew about those damn powers she had. I think she must've guessed something about me, something that was different from the rest of you kids. And maybe that's why she never liked me as much as the rest of you. Maybe even not like me at all."

Vaguely, I was aware of the suggestive situation we were in; pulled over on the side of the road with his head in my lap; but I didn't care. Surprisingly, I didn't care.

"Tilmitt, I want to---no, SELPHIE, I want to ask you something. And I want the truth. I'll know if you're lying, of course, that was something Matron always said I had a knack for."

This time my surprise must have been written clearly all over my face. I wondered what he wanted to ask me. It was a bit startling; he had called me by my first name for the first time since we'd met."Well, ask."I successfully managed to keep my voice from being shaky.

"......................If I---If I WERE to take the throne, d'you think it would be...........right?"

WoW. That was a bit discerning, hearing actual anxiety managing to slip itself into Seifer Almasy's voice. But I thought before I gave an answer. The truth was what he wanted, and that was what I'd give.

"I don't know, Seifer,"I said clearly, taking my hands off the steering wheel and facing him squarely."I really don't know. With Dollet at your feet, you could do so many good things, but you could do bad things as well as good. I wouldn't put it past you to do bad things with that sort of power, either."

I blanched at the slightly hurt look that I could just barely place before it darted away. But I had spoke in honestly, after all. Hurriedly, I went on."But what you would do as king isn't what you asked me. You asked if it would be right to take the crown with no effort at all. And you know what I think? I think, that if you did, you would OWE it to those people to be a good king. I think, that it doesn't matter what you HAVE done that decides whether or not that crown should be placed on your head, but rather, what you'll DO with it on there."

And that, was the truth.

"Hmmm."And this time, it was a pensive 'hmmm'.

After that, just came silence. I knew Seifer wasn't asleep; he was still staring up at me, although now like he was trying to figure out what color lip gloss I was wearing, so intently was he scrutinizing my face. I turned my attention out the window, thinking that maybe we should go. Hyne knew how much more exhaustion I could take before I finally collapsed.

I had just been about to start up the car again and go, when Seifer spoke again.

"Selphie.................what do you think of me?"

If his earlier question about the crown hadn't caught me off guard, THIS one certainly had! I nearly fell over with shock. At my startled expression, he grinned openly."I'll tell you what I think of YOU after you're done, I promise."

I chose my words carefully."Well, it's good to see that there's some human left in there, underneath all those layers of sardonic hostility. Truthfully, I don't know WHAT to think of you. Even when you WERE throwing gum down my dress or dragging me along to some boring executive party filled with nothing but lecherous old men, I couldn't bring myself to hate you as much as everyone else did."I laughed, brightly."At least not as much as Zell did, tee-hee. Guys! Why can't you ever get along? And you want to know something else? I think that you're honest, brave, and forthright to your friends. The only problem is, you just don't HAVE enough friends to be able to have everyone else know it. You want more? You're a damned good soldier, even though you overestimate yourself and underestimate others. You've learned maturity ever since you tasted defeat, and I think you want forgiveness, too."

I paused only to take breath before plunging on."You don't let anything get to you even when you should, you're as hardheaded as a mule and sometimes as stupid as one, you're mean to people who you know won't fight back, and you are as cold as ice and hard as steel, and sometimes I wonder if you're even a man."

There. I took a reprieve, deciding just to sit down and see how it would go. I could've said more, a LOT more, but I decided to let it rest at that. I wondered if I'd said too much, because although the grin on Seifer's face was still there, it was an almost DANGEROUS grin. I swallowed hard, waiting for him to explode. Well, I mean, not explode LITERALLY, but do something close enough to that effect.

He laughed, both bitter and rueful at the same time."You've read me like a book, Tilmitt,"he admitted, and I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not."Oh, there's more; definitely, there's more, but............."He shook his head."Somehow I don't think you learned all of that from just this past month."He sounded like I'd had informants or something, tee-hee. Well, maybe I should LET him think that. It wouldn't hurt.

"Maybe not,"I replied mysteriously, purposefully averting his gaze. No, there was no mistaking it. This time, a genuine laugh bubbled up in the throat that I had, every day before tonight, so vehemently wanted to strangle.

"Well, a promise is a promise, so...........you want to know what I think of YOU?"

Did I? THAT was dangerous ground to be treading, believe you me."Sure, okay."

He motioned with his hands."Come here. It's a secret."That set me to wondering. It was kinda funny, since he kept looking around like Balamb spies might come bursting out from behind the leather interior at any minute. So, pretending to look around warily, like he had, I bent over him.

"I think that you're a kid who's fascinated me for the longest time. You sound as though you don't give a damn about anything in the world, but then the stupidest thing in the world gets you as fired up as the thought of another Sorceress War. Your motto is 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!', but you've got no inhibitions about heaving wooden blocks roughly the size of my head at me. You complain about lecherous perverts, then I remember that you've dated one. And every day, you've got to be so goddamned cheerful it makes my head want to split."

Like I had done, he paused to take a breath before he went on."You care about others but not yourself. Sometimes you act so dumb I think that you had to have been dropped on your head as a baby, and you make a habit of reinstating the obvious. Not only that, you're a horrible klutz and sometimes I worry about your random acts of schizophrenia. And every time I see you, I don't know whether I want to bash your head into a wall and then run away laughing, or just plain run away."

And then---can you believe this???---he takes my face in his hands and attaches HIS lips to MINE in a grip that would have made a Hyne-accursed MALBORO proud!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made some sort of muffled protest and beat at him uselessly, but to no avail. I might as well have been hitting a rock, for all the good it did. I wouldn't have been surprised if I got bruises from hitting him!

But as I gave up fighting and decided to settle resignedly to my fate, I actually started enjoying myself. Irvine had NEVER kissed me like this. Not that I'd actually LET him, but still! I wouldn't call it passionate, or earth-shaking, or even involving any sort of romantic chemistry at all, but it was interesting nonetheless. He smelled like something nice, but tasted like pork rinds that had gone stale. I know! Pork rinds, for Hyne's sake! Not chocolate, or anything wonderfully sweet and tasty. Pork rinds! Lucky for him, I liked pork rinds.

At the crick that had began to form in my back---it was rather painful, bending over halfway like that---I straightened up and tried to breathe again. It was like all the air had been sucked out of my body. I looked down at the infuriating fool that was Seifer, too see that he was still wearing that stupid grin."And that,"he said, showing all of his teeth as he spoke,"is what I think of you."

I smiled at him quite nicely, then punched him in the eye.

He howled---it was quite interesting to hear that coming out of him---and yelled all sorts of curses, but never made a move to hit me back. I recalled Zell saying once that Seifer didn't believe in hitting girls. I also recalled his anger because Seifer had refused to punch him back after they'd gotten into some sort of fist fight, giving that argument as his cause.

Then, I started up the car resolutely and starting driving again. We didn't say anything on the way back, probably because his eye and my pride were both hurting too badly for words. I glanced down again when we were almost back to Garden, and discovered that he was asleep, head still on my lap. Odious man! Grrr, sometimes I just wanted to THROTTLE him!

I pulled the car into Esthar Garden's parking lot, and shut off the engine. I debated with myself over what to do. I could do the nice thing and wake him up, or I could just leave like I'd never had anything to do with him tonight. What to do, what to do? I now found out what he found so appealing in having people completely and utterly at your mercy. I stared down at his sleeping form, and considered my options.

Sleeping in the Commander's hammock and playing with his Clapper had never been more fun, I decided.





AN~Do you get what happened at the end? Tee-hee, so what's next? Is there any hope of a romantic relationship forming out of this? Sorry for the..........abhorring lack of humor in this, people, but I had to cross the boundaries into romance sometime. Somehow, this part isn't as satisfying as parts 1-6. I need to fix that, tee-hee. Also, what about Allanna? You'll find out more about what she's doing in Selphie's head in the next part, LoL. Don't worry, there's still a lot more chapters of this left. Loose ends will be tied up, I promise! Until then! ~tigerofthewind~*is wishing her butt didn't hurt from all this typing*