Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story

Chapter Fourteen-I Appear To Have Spilled My Beer(Affairs of State)

ANFinally! Something is happening! It took me a long time to remember how I'd planned to get Selphie and Seifer out of their mess, and now I do! Huzzah! So you'll get some more HICB! Okay, I'm dedicating these last chapters to my friend PinkStarz, who's had a lot of her fanfiction taken down by the admins for stupid regulations, since someone's been reporting her. Whoever it is can suck cock. And if you want to report me for that, just try it.

tigerofthewind

I was sitting in a gray fabric manager's chair reading "The Island Closest to Heaven" when the commotion started. I swing my bobbed brown hair out of my face and blink my brown eyes somewhat startledly, for the book was rather involving. I'm just thinking about getting up to see what all the fuss is about when Mr. Kiros comes in, shaking his head in a somewhat amused manner.

"I think you'd better head down to the surveillance room, Ms. Elle,"is all he says, but I've already formed a situation in my head.

Uncle Laguna will have been trying to receive the 'adults only' channel on the dish network again, sitting up late into the night trying to figure out how the remote works, despite having been told several hundred times. After deeming the remote as being 'utterly complicated and useless', he will then throw it into the nearby chair. From there the situation somewhat deviates, varying from a situation where he's managed to break the whole executive computer system to one where he simply finds the 'adults only' channel but is thus unable to figure out how to turn it off, and is instead forced to somehow destroy said television and it's naughty evidence.

However, upon arriving at the surveillance room, I find that it is none of these things, but rather, something of a much less...fanciful...nature.

"Elle, Elle!"Uncle Laguna rushes over to me, looking indeed sheepish but much more urgent than that."The east block surveillance camera was malfunctioning, but when it did, it tapped into the network, and look what it found!"

"Malfunctioning?"I raised an eyebrow."What did you do, Uncle Laguna?"

"I appear to have spilled my beer,"he replied calmly, gesturing to the foaming amber liquid seeping into the crevices of the control panel.

"Appear?"I repeated, not following."You don't KNOW?"

"Well, I was asleep,"he defended, now started to show signs of embarrassment.

I frowned slightly."What were you even DOING at the surveillance desk?"

Aha, I'd figured out the source of his blunder. He turned red and began sputtering."I - ah - come on, Elle - "

"He couldn't figure out how to get the 'late night party' channel in his own room, so he figured he'd have better luck in the surveillance room,"Mr. Kiros announced, entering the room with Mr. Ward in his wake. He looked over at Uncle Laguna."Hey man, all you gotta do is hit '01' on your remote, and it'll automatically take you there. I programmed it for you, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!"Uncle Laguna snapped his fingers."Thanks, Kiros."He started to head for the door."If anyone needs me, I'll - ah - be in my room."

"Wait, Uncle Laguna!"I protested, furrowing my brow."What did you call ME down here for? I wouldn't be able to help you with...you know, with THAT."

"Oh, yeah! It's about what came up on the screen when I spilled my beer on it. It's the old abandoned management building for the EHA,"he told me, joining me as I looked down at the fuzzy screen."Except it's not so abandoned anymore."

I saw what he was talking about. Red emergency lights were flashing and several men wearing what appeared to be the Galbadian military outfit were running around shouting incoherently. The screen switched and I saw a similar scene, except in a different area.

"Galbadia?"I said aloud, stunned."What, are they so desperate to start another war already?"

"We're concerned that they might be after you, Elle,"Uncle Laguna said, his 'serious face' on,"but not just that. Look here."

The screen switched again, to where the gates of the facility were located. A pile of dead soldiers on the ground, and -

My eyes widened."It can't be..."

Mr. Kiros nodded."Even I had to look twice when I saw them. I don't recognize the blond one to the right, but that petite little brown-haired girl..."

I swallowed hard."Uncle Laguna?"

He understood."What should we do, Elle?"

"What can we do?"

"Well - "His sentence was cut off in mid-yawn, and he shrugged awkwardly."Sorry, I'm feelin' really bushed. I think I fainted earlier or something, 'cuz I was out for a few hours and when I woke up I felt more tired than when I went to sleep."He scratched the back of his neck."Elle, I think we should - "

But I was already grabbing his head somewhat forcefully with both hands.(Hold on, little sis Sefie and little bro Seifer. I'll get you OUT of there), I thought, feeling guilty about what I was going to do, but not enough to change my mind. I had to smile a bit about what I was going to do, and that my klutzy Uncle Laguna would yet again be the one to save his friends who were in trouble.

You see, you can't change the past...

...unless you've got powers like mine in the present.

I had to be moderately conspicuous about this. One of the biggest rules when it comes to meddling in the past is to be sure not to affect the present. I couldn't just tap Sefie and Seifer on the shoulder when they came in and say "Hey you guys, I know I've really got no reason to be here, but you'll want to get out now because it's a trap and this whole place is going to explode in a couple of minutes". So I would have to do it from behind the scenes, AND have Uncle Laguna's body back in time to spill beer all over the surveillance computers.

I sighed. This sure was going to be tricky business.

Upon arriving at the EHA management facility, I was relieved to find it still deserted. The Galbadians clearly hadn't had time to begin forming their ambush yet. I dug around in Uncle Laguna's pockets before finding the master card key and unlocking the gates. The stench of old motor oil and dust filled my nose instantly, but I ignored it. I had to find the control panel for the security system.

The third door I tried revealed the motherload, a giant computer network that covered the security for the entire facility(which wasn't really that great, since it was just a highway administration). I frowned in thought. (The Galbadians must have tampered with it later on, so even if I were to set the gates to unlock, they would just notice when they came in to lock them in the first place, right? Or maybe...if I was the one to set them to lock, they might not notice?)

It seemed like a plan. (The command for ordering the gates to lock would appear first, so no one would notice the hidden command I entered after that. When the soldiers stumble across it in a few hours, they'll just think that a spy or one of their superior officers or something already set the command.)

My fingers were already flying across the keys. The detonation time for the building's self-destruct(why the hell did a highway building have a self-destruct feature, anyway?!) was at 15:08, so I would set the gates to lock...

I frowned, at what time were Sefie and Seifer trapped in there? How many minutes before detonation? I concentrated, and a number popped into my head. Ten minutes.

I set the gates to lock at 14:58; I also set the hidden command for them to UNlock at 15:07, one minute before detonation. I hoped that would be enough time for the two of them to get far away from there.

Noises from outside caused me to back into a corner quickly, hidden from view by a set of lockers. Two Galbadian soldiers came in and examined the computer. I crossed my fingers and held my breath, hoping that they were as stupid as necessary.

"Man,"the first one groaned."Commander Tak said that were were supposed to set the gates to lock, but someone else's already done it!"

"That's just like him to forget,"the second one agreed."Well, let's go wait for those Garden twits to get here, then. What were our orders in regards to them, again?"

"Ah, I dunno,"the first one replied."Guess we better go ask someone..."

The rest of their conversation was lost as they headed out of the door. But I was stuck in a sticky situation. How was I supposed to get out, dressed as I was in the body of the Estharian president, whose government they were plotting to overthrow?

Thankfully for me, I was quite skilled at magic."Stop!" Before they even knew what had hit them, I had Stopped every last soldier on the compound. Laughing to myself, I exited out of the gates just as they were carrying on as though nothing had happened.

The next step was a bit trickier - waiting. I paced around irritably, waiting for the time when I would need to leave Uncle Laguna in the surveillance room before I went on to possess either Sefie or Seifer and get them out of the EHA building. I decided to use the time to plan thoroughly.

(Which one of them should I possess? Sefie's the obvious choice; her naive and cheerful nature make her quite the choice for embodiment, but...)

Well, I couldn't bring myself to admit that a veritable whirlpool of temptation came from the thought of possessing Seifer. He had, as a child, been the only one to hide anything from me, the only one to turn his back when I offered my hand. Mistrust goes full circle, so in time, I began to grow as suspicious of him as he was of me. Perhaps not faithlessly, his abduction of me in Lunatic Pandora alone should be enough to support my cause, but sometimes I wondered - if I had not given up, if I had persisted in my affection - would those events have ever REALLY have come to pass?

It's a lesson I learned from my powers, how the past affects the present. Squall's pain, Zell's passion, Irvine's sensitivity, Quisty's depth, Seifer's will, and Sefie's heart - all of these things and more were a direct effect on the paths they chose during their lives. I could understand where all their pain and depth and those such things came from, but I could never understand Seifer's intense will. His drive to be the best at whatever he did, how he always aimed for the top, but lost due to his arrogance... What motivated him? Was he so ruthless as to crush everything that wasn't at his level?

No, it didn't seem like his style. Perhaps all he wanted was to prove himself worthy of the friendship of others.

I laughed aloud. No, that definitely wasn't his style, either. He didn't MIND people, as long as they didn't get in his way, but to say everything he did was for others? No, he had some goal of his own to live up to.

In that instant, I decided to possess him instead of Sefie.

And in good timing too; now was the time to return Uncle Laguna to his spot at the surveillance cameras. I laid down and quietly exited his now-sleeping body, giving him a mental pat on the back as I did so. He would be tired and maybe a little sore, but with luck, Sefie and Seifer would be safe.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on everyone's foul-mouthed, bickering blonde. I found him lying on the pavement with a crying Sefie, looking strangely bored for someone who was so soon to lose their life.

And he looked at me as I possessed him.

I can't explain it; he probably couldn't either. There was an instant where I saw him("Better give me back in one piece, Sis") and then he was gone. To where? Probably reliving memories of his past; that's usually where the people I possess go, back into THEIR past selves. I hoped the memories he were reliving were good ones.

I sat upright, not taking the time to get used to this body."Sefie, get up!"I shouted at her, shaking her roughly."Look, I can't explain, but - "

"You called me 'Sefie',"she said sort of dreamily, smiling up at me. I didn't get it, why would she - ?

(Oh, Hyne no. She COULDN'T...have FEELINGS for Seifer, could she???)I blinked at her, and then a strange thing happened.

It was sort of like my(or rather, Seifer's) emotive processes just...shut down. Before I even knew what I was doing, I found myself rolling my eyes at her.

"Just a spasm,"I said, standing up."Come on, the gates are gonna open - "

With a clank, the gates began to open, as if my words were cue. I wanted to bend and give Sefie a hand, but SOMETHING wasn't allowing it.

Hmmm. Seems as though I'm not in total control of his body after all.

The two of us raced for the gates, Sefie a bit behind me because Seifer could take longer strides. We were only about thirty meters from the base when it exploded, sending bits of shrapnel into the sky like rain. In an act that was(surprisingly) not entirely mine, I flung Sefie to the ground beneath me, shielding her with Seifer's body, and covered my head with my hands.

The ground rumbled beneath us, and we were struck with a couple of bits of falling debris, but nothing serious. I counted for twenty seconds after the ground stopped shaking, then decided it was safe and let Sefie up.

She coughed a bit then turned back to regard the former EHA facility. It was little more than a pile of charred rubble. I could almost see her imagining what would have happened to her if she'd been inside. Or was it something else?

"I feel awful for those soldiers,"she admitted."They were only following orders, and when we could have saved them, you went and..."Her face was blotchy with tears.

(What in Hyne's name is she talking about?) I figured it would be a good idea about now to return Seifer to his body and let him sort this mess out.

Only problem was, when I reached out for him, he wasn't there.

ANSo, have I lost my flair for fanfic writing? We've completely shifted out of the humor unit now, and for that, I'm sorry. It's probably only going to get more dramatic from here on now, too. I really, really, really want to thank my 300 reviewers. If I hadn't seen that giant total racked up on my stats page at , I probably never would've continued this. You guys are my inspiration. 3 I love you guys! Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap this up pretty soon! Will our beloved hero and heroine ever wind up living happily ever after? You'll have to tune in to see!

tigerlistening to the Goldenscan remix of Ayumi Hamasaki's 'Evolution'