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From The Damage
Chapter 3

She looked into his eyes once more, memorizing the blue orbes that had so many times been a safe haven for her, and then she began.

"I went to see Chris today." She immediately noticed his body tense. Just the mention of his name was enough to upset her husband. She was sure it was only going to get worse. However, he kept his promise and remained silent. "It was just to tell him that I couldn't work with him anymore. I wanted to thank him for his help, because he did help me Nathan. You heard the song and you liked it. Chris was a part of that and I thought he deserved an explanation. He told me that he got offered a showcase and that he was leaving tonight, so it worked out for the best." She saw Nathan ease a bit at her last statement. Chris being out of Haley's life was definitely what Nathan had wanted, but him leaving Tree Hill seemed to ease him more.

"I'm not mad that you went to see him, Haley. I know that it was important for you to be in the studio and…"

"Nathan, please. I'm not finished." He nodded and she continued. "He offered me the chance to go with him. He said that there were people that he could introduce me to that could really help me, Nathan."

"Of course he did," Nathan grumbled. "Haley, how can you not see through his crap? I know you're talented, but what he's saying and promising you, that's not…"

"Nathan!" Haley yelled. "Will you just let me finish. I know you're upset, but if I don't say this now…"

"Say what, Haley." His tone was cold. He was expecting the worse.

"We kissed, Nathan. I'm sorry, we were just standing there and I don't know…"

"You don't know!" He yelled standing up now. "You don't know what made you kiss another guy. I told you I didn't trust him. Do you see now? Do you see why I told you not to see him. I thought you said it was just work!"

"It was just work, Nathan. Chris and I aren't…"

"So, you kiss everybody you work with! You are into him. That's what this whole thing has been about. You told me to trust you. Why? So, you can go off and kiss stupid punk rock boys who don't see you any differently than any other sixteen year old girl they promise to make famous."

"Nathan. Stop! I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry that I kissed him, but it's not what you're making it out to be."

"Whatever."

"That's real mature, Nathan."

"You have no right to talk to me about maturity. Maturity is knowing when to remove yourself from a situation that you can't handle and that's obviously not something you can do. How could you kiss him, Haley? Do you realize what you've done?"

"I made a mistake, Nathan."

"A mistake. You didn't make a mistake, Haley. You broke our vows!"

"Don't say that."

"Why? Because it makes you feel bad? How can I protect you if you won't protect yourself?"

She stood silent in front of him. Soaking in all the emotion in his eye. For the first time realizing just how much of an impact her actions had on his life and how just how serious the earlier events were. A kiss wasn't just a kiss anymore, not when it was with anyone but Nathan.

Nathan watched her and waves of emotion came crashing down on him. Pain, anger, fear, sadness. All of the feelings he had never once before associated with Haley was overtaking his senses. For the first time, he felt suffocated.

"I have to go," he said grabbing his keys from the coffee table.

"Nathan. Stop! You can't just run away every time we have a fight."

"I'm not running away."

"Yes, you are. Please, Nathan. Don't leave."

"I don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice, Nathan."

"And what about you? What about your choice."

"I'm not the one who's running away."

"No, but you are the one who's making me want to. I can't stand to look at you right now, Haley."

She felt the tears begin to form and then roll silently down her cheek. It wasn't as though she didn't deserve his words, because she did. But hearing him say that and look at her the way he was now, it wasn't something she was used to. It wasn't anything she had ever seen and it broke her heart. Even so, she knew he couldn't leave. She couldn't let him run away.

"Then don't," she said finally. "You don't have to look at me or talk to me. But please, Nathan, just don't leave."

Nathan stood watching her for a few seconds and then he turned and walked silently to their room, shutting the door behind him.

- - - - - -

Lucas was standing at the refrigerator, when Karen walked in the kitchen. She watched him as he stood silently.

"Are you looking for something, Luke?" She asked moments later when he made no attempt to move.

He shook his hand. "Not really."

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Have you ever done something, only to realize later you were wrong?"

Karen nodded, recalling several occasions, one in particular in which she had made the same mistake. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to say."

"Well, have you tried fixing it."

"I can't."

"Are you sure? There's always something you can do." Lucas shook his head. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here." Lucas smiled faintly and kissed his mother goodnight.

- - - - - - -

Felix walked back to Brooke's house and found her fully dressed now.

"Are you going somewhere?" He asked a bit hurt.

"Yeah. I need to talk to Peyton."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry, Felix. I really am, but I haven't seen her that upset in such a long time. She needs me."

"I need you, Brooke."

"Please don't do this. I just need to know that she's okay. Try and understand." He nodded reluctantly. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed him briefly and they parted for the night.

- - - - - - -

"I'm sorry, Peyton," Jake said looking into her eyes. "I didn't think it would be so hard for you."

"Is that the only reason you're sorry, Jake? Did you even miss me?"

"Of course, I missed you. Jenny missed you, too. She could sense something was missing." "Then why did you ignore me?"

"I wanted to call, but we're so far away and…Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I thought it would be easier for me if I didn't have to talk to you or think of you. Things were changing between us when I left, I could tell and I know you could, but it wasn't the right time."

"I know, but you still should have called. I missed you, Jake. And I missed Jenny. I was all alone."

"What about your dad? I thought he was coming back?"

Peyton sighed. "So did I. But he keeps getting offers and I don't know. Maybe it's easier for him to stay away, too."

"When's he coming back?"

"Sunday. At least that's what he told me yesterday afternoon. I haven't been able to get him today."

"I wish I could tell you it would get better, Peyton. But you know I can't do that."

"I know. I just wish you were here, sometimes, most of the time."

"I wish I was here, too. If there was another way…"

"I know, Jake. I get that you had to leave and that you were protecting Jenny. But that doesn't make it any easier." He nodded.

"What about Brooke? Are things better with you and her?"

"Yeah. Things were great, but she's got her own problems with her family and then she has Felix and I just don't want to drag her into it all, you know?"

"Sounds like the two of you have both been having a hard time, but you don't think she wants to be there for you?" Jake was trying to understand what she was going through and to get her to open up. He knew what it was like to let things build. They always end up getting the best of you. No one can live like that.

"I know she does, I just…I don't feel right asking her all the time. You know, I shouldn't have to. I should be able to do it on my own."

"No one can do everything on their own, Peyton. No one expects that of you, but you."

"So what am I supposed to do? Cry about everything that's happening to everyone I see? I can't do that."

"That's not what I'm saying, but you can't keep building it up, especially not if it's going to lead you to drugs." And there it was. The topic they had danced around for so long already. "Rick was a friend of Nikki's. He told her he could help her, but he didn't. Just like he can't help you."

"I know," she whispered looking at her hands. She hated talking about this.

"Look at me, Peyton." Jake commanded. She didn't move.

"I can't."

"Peyton, please." Slowly, she brought her head up and met his eyes. "Whatever you're going through, drugs aren't going to help. Sure, they'll make you forget, but tomorrow, you're still going to have the same problems you did today. The only difference is that you'll have less money." Peyton laughed lightly. "I'm glad you caught the joke."

"I'm glad you're here, Jake."

"So am I." Several silent moments passed. "Will you promise me something?" She nodded. "The next time you think about calling Rick, call Brooke or me and talk about whatever it is that's bothering you."

"Will you answer?"

"I'll answer. Peyton, I never thought it would be like this, otherwise I wouldn't have ignored you. I honestly thought that this was the best way. So, you promise?"

"I promise. How long are you here?"

"A few days. My mom called the school in Savannah, told them there was a family emergency."

"I'm sorry you had to miss school. Is Jenny here?"

"It's not a big deal and yeah. She's with my dad," Jake looked at the clock. "Speaking of, his shift starts in an hour and mom's at work, so…"

"You have to go?"

Jake smiled. "Yeah. But I'll see you tomorrow, after school. I'll bring Jenny by."

"I'd like that." "So, you'll be okay?"

"I'll make sure of it." Both Jake and Peyton turned to find Brooke coming in the front door.

- - - - - -

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