The Finale
A/N: Okay, Turkey Day is over, and not only is this the last chappie; it may be my last Artemis Fowl fanfic. I would like to thank Frodomegan and eBooeBoo2 for giving me their reviews, and I noticed that I had accidentally disabled the anonymous review toggle, so now I realize why I only had two reviews.-.-;;. N.E. way, here we are. Artemis and Kitty left to the manor safely without getting caught…
At the Fowl Manor
"But we had a deal that we would mind-wipe you!"
They were at it again. Juliet was still putting up a fighting chance to not being mind-wiped. Everyone else, including Kitty, was sitting quietly in their chairs, ready to be mind-wiped. Of course, Artemis already had gone through with planting all of the things that would bring back his memory, which included giving himself a drug that had made him forget the last half hour so that he couldn't be mesmered into telling his secret.
"I don't care! I have at least two years of memories here of you guys, and all you are thinking about is yourselves. For all I know, I'll be as dumb as Pex and Chips when you're through! I need some comfort in this!" With that, Juliet made a rude hand gesture at both the mind-wipe specialists and the screen with Root on it. His face wasn't very red. Yet.
"Listen, the specialists can fill your memories of those two years. Artemis' Mom had tried a new treatment of hypnosis, your dad was found in a recon mission by the INTERPOL, and Spiro had tampered with your money and Kitty was a person you wanted to help. For all you know, Spiro is awaiting trial for cruel and unusual punishment, inhumane lab procedures, or both depending on how you take it. Either way, you will still have that intellect of yours, mud girl." Holly amended.
"Okay, Holly, but remember: when you are finished, I will be the same, cold-hearted person I was two years ago. And, I will forget you, leaving me with Kitty here. Do you really want that?" Artemis asked, using his final trump card. Holly's lip quivered, but she finally said in a withdrawn voice:
"No. But rules are rules. Goodbye Artemis." And gave him a goodbye kiss. Kitty wasn't too perturbed, because she knew that Artemis was kissing an old hag by human standards, and he wouldn't remember it anyway. She was the one who cleared her throat and asked, "Can we get this going? We have a humanitarian case we need to finish."
Holly pulled away and started the machine. The workers took it from there. She started home, crying all the way, because she knew that even she would pick Kitty if it was between the two. After about two minutes of flying, she readied herself for some rest and the next recon mission she would have. Along the way, she passed by the Alps, just as one last prank to be remembered by.
Foaly turned away from the screen. He knew that now was not the time to ask Holly out. Besides, he had some monitoring to do. For all he knew, Artemis would have planted an E-mail after the six months. He sighed. Foaly had an idea that the task wasn't going to be easy.
From Artemis' encrypted journal, August 2nd, 2004
It's indeed strange for me to write a journal, but for every great mind, what else is there for me? My Dad came back and now both my parents have approved of Kitty being my bodyguard-and girlfriend, although I won't bring that up anytime soon. Kitty has made an ideal bodyguard, since Madame Ko had been so impressed with her skills; she tattooed two blue diamonds on her shoulder. This is good because most people are off-guard when they see an adolescent with a cat on their lap. It's also good because Butler doesn't seem to be able to keep up with anything. He'll probably become my personal cook at the worst. Juliet has decided to wrestle as the Jade Princess and I bid her good luck. School starts soon and I'll just smuggle Kitty there since they don't have a "No Pets Allowed" rule.
Yet the strangest thing happened to me, just after Kitty won her humanitarian trial. I was getting up from bed, washing my face, when I felt something peel off. It looked like one of those custom-latex bandages, but I noticed that it had an electric current. Furthermore, Juliet noticed that she had a contact in her eye, rusted with corrosion, when she doesn't need contacts. This is indeed strange. But I don't think it's a problem. Besides, I may be an evil mastermind, but like I said, Kitty is the best there is.
By the way, I forgot to mention something: Now that Kitty is a bodyguard, she could find her true parents. As it turns out, in New Orleans her parents are still living there today. As cold as it is, she's awaiting trial to sue them for child neglect. I know that she'll win, especially with the best lawyers in the world.
Kitty has just come in. We are staying at the best hotel in India, taking a look at some of her "other half of the family." I'm still getting used to not drinking water here because of the water sanitation problems. Oh well.
My parents are still bugging me to keep straight and pure, but I'm still a criminal mastermind, and Kitty herself feels that it's more her style to be a cat burglar, pardon the pun. So she gave me a great idea: we steal the world's riches, bank accounts, and so on. However, to keep my parents off my back, we anonymously give the money to charities like Greenpeace and such. It'll look like as if we're doing the world a favor, sort of like a high-tech Robin Hood, except we keep about 60 of what we steal. This is probably one of the most diabolical plans yet. With Kitty by my side, there isn't anything that can't go wrong.
Artemis looks back at his journal, and as he is reading he hears a soft knock at the door.
"Room service." A girl with an Indian accent calls. Artemis closes the journal and says "Come in."
Kitty strides in, with a robe on, while carrying some massaging oils and such.
"I heard you needed a masseuse. Take off your shirt and lie on your back please." Kitty said coyly.
"Fine, but I would expect a high-class massage from a half-cat." Artemis said, kissing her on the neck while following her instructions. Kitty slips off her robe, and says "Oh, you're gonna get more than that tonight."