Author's Note: I love this time of the year. Halloween's my favorite holiday. Unfortunately, poor Billy Colby just can't seem to enjoy it. Then again, he's being haunted. Billy's Mr. Unlucky is Jack Skellington, the main character in The Nightmare Before Christmas. There are many, many people who took part in the making of that film and subsequent references to it, but right now, I just want to give more of the story. I think we all know who's who, am I right? (Re-edit comment: The ending to this disclaimer was brought to you by... laziness!)
"I was going to tell you about the robbery," Billy said. "But then I'd be skipping over two years of Mr. Unlucky. Do you mind if I keep going, Doc? I know you have plenty of people's heads to fix and all."
"No, Mister Colby. You go right ahead. Tell me all you want to say," Doctor Flaherty said.
"Alright then. Well, let me just say that it's great talking to someone who isn't trying to send me to the loony bin."
"Thank you, Billy. I appreciate the comment."
"Anyway, the year after the whole wedding fiasco, I was out at a bar with some friends. Everything was just fine and dandy until the lights went out. So, of course, no one saw Mr. Unlucky when he came for me. I turn around and he's sitting one stool away from me. He gets up and starts trying to tell me whatever he wants to say, but there's no way I listened to him. I got up and threw my barstool at him. Then, the lights came on. It turned out, I hit Bubba with the stool instead."
"Bubba?" Doctor Flaherty asked.
"He was this big guy who was a regular in the bar. Bubba also used to wrestle, really wrestle. Bubba was not too happy to have a barstool land on his stomach, so he and his boys beat the crap out of me. I was in the hospital for a week."
"The sight of Mr. Unlucky made you incite a barroom brawl?"
"I didn't mean to," Billy grumbled. "It was dark and I couldn't see well. How was I supposed to know Bubba was standing next to Mr. Unlucky? Anyway, that wasn't as bad as what happened the next year."
"In keeping track, this would be when you were twenty-seven?"
"Yep. That year, my friends talked me into going to a Halloween party for old time's sake. Like the dimwit I am, I went along with them. We never even got to the place. Our car broke down and we had to stop at this motel off the side of the road. Of course, Mr. Unlucky seemed to have a room there because I saw him. Now, by this point, I was just angry. I started yelling at him, screaming and making a huge fuss until the manager had to get me. I had woken up the whole motel, friends included. So, he did what any manager did, he kicked us out. We drove around all night, but we didn't find another vacant place. We slept in the car when we gave up looking. After that, my friends dumped me and called me a real basket case."
"You haven't spoken to them since?"
"Nope. No Ray, no Luke, even Lee Evans stopped talking to me."
"Even after all of that, your Mr. Unlucky continues to visit you?"
"Oh yeah. It's like I've been saying, he wants me dead to take my soul. I'd rather do anything than just give him my soul, even going to jail, which I did, by the way."
Billy- Past
At twenty-eight years old, Billy became one of the most neurotic people in, if not Wolf Creek, all of Kentucky or even the United States. The odd thing about Billy's problem was that it only happened once a year. However, that once was enough. So was taking all of this torture from Mr. Unlucky for years. This year, Billy was prepared. He was dressed all in black in case he needed to sneak into dark alleys. He wore crosses, carried vials of holy water, even bought a silver bullet, although, he lacked a gun. Tonight, Billy was going out in public for Halloween and he was going to enjoy it, dammit!
"Hey, mister, who are you supposed to be?" a boy dressed as a scarecrow asked as his group of trick-or-treaters passed Billy on the sidewalk.
"Johnny, you know better than to talk to strangers," a woman dressed as a vampire scolded him. "Look at him, he looks insane," she continued as she hurried the group away.
"I can't believe this," Billy said to himself in a flat tone. "Even if Mr. Unlucky isn't here, people think I'm nuts. Oh well, I guess things could be worse."
Billy could not have put his situation in better words. For at that moment, he was walking into one of the main intersections of Wolf Creek. The corner of Peach Street and Main Street was home to the First National Bank. As the bank came into Billy's view, he heard a loud shriek and gunshots. Out of the bank came a group of five men in clown costumes. They all piled into a gray van and drove off as the police cars turned the corner. At this sight, a strange thought came into Billy's mind.
"Hey, if I help the cops catch these guys, then I'll get respect from people. People won't call me crazy anymore," Billy said.
"Not if you talk to yourself," said that horribly familiar voice Billy had come to know so well.
"Why, of all times, do you choose to show up now!" Billy exclaimed as he turned to face the skeleton man.
"Well, at least you're not running away screaming your head off," Mr. Unlucky said with a wide grin. "We've made great progress!"
"Fear the cross, demon!" Billy exclaimed as he showed one of the crosses to the skeleton.
"Billy, you seem to have me confused with a vampire."
"Then take some of this," Billy said as he threw holy water on Mr. Unlucky.
"Once again, I am not a vampire."
"What will kill you?"
"Kill me? My friend, I'm already deceased."
"I'm not your friend, Mr. Unlucky."
"Did you just call me Mr. Unlucky?" the skeleton asked with a slight chuckle. "What a charming nickname. I'll have to tell the folks at home about that one."
"What folks at home?"
"Oh, don't worry, you'll meet all of them," Mr. Unlucky said as he grabbed Billy's right wrist.
"Wait a minute! Listen, I never thought I'd say this, but I need your help."
"You certainly do. I've been trying to-"
"Whatever you want to do to me can wait. I can at least die with some dignity."
"Billy, this is all a misunder-"
"I'll do whatever you want if you help me take down those clown thieves."
"Does that include listening to me?"
"Anything, just no soul taking, Mr. Unlucky."
"For the record, my name is Jack Skellington, and yes. I think we'll make quite the team, Mr. Colby."
"Just don't use any of that creepy stuff on me."
With that, Billy reluctantly shook the hand of who he considered to be his mortal enemy. Then, they were off. Jack and Billy searched every area they could. They kept their eyes and sockets alert to anything suspicious. The pair found their suspects sitting on the curb outside the park, laughing and celebrating next to their van. Billy dragged Jack underneath a hedge when he saw them.
"What did you do that for?"
"So they don't see us."
"Well, they can't see me. No one can, except you, and for a good reason."
"One you can tell me once we bust these guys. No go on and do that spooky stuff you like doing."
"Alright, but then will you let me talk?"
"Hurry up!"
Jack shook his head and sighed. Then, he jumped out of the bushes and hopped on top of the van. Billy saw the heads of the clown gang members look up at the noise and then shrug to themselves. However, that was all he could make out. Jack started to form a fog around the men at that point and lowered himself to their level. If Billy couldn't see their fear, he could definitely hear it. Each man screamed as if faced with his worst fear. Billy could make out forms stumbling blindly in the fog and hear screaming for help. After a while, the fog lifted, and Jack was standing around unconscious forms lying on the ground. Billy came out of the bush he was hiding in and walked to the skeleton.
"What did you do?" Billy asked in amazement.
"I clouded their minds with their worst possible fears. It works every time," Jack said proudly. "Now, about our-"
"Wait a minute," Billy said as he heard something. "Is that a siren?"
Jack never got a chance to answer. When Billy looked back next to him, Mr. Unlucky was gone. However, a large group of police cars found their way to him. Every police officer stepped out of each car aiming for Billy. Billy shakily put his hands up and a pair of officers forced the van open.
"There's the money. The thieves seem to be out of commission." said one of the cops.
"Not exactly. Look at this one." said the chief of the precinct, who walked right up to Billy. "I smell a rat."
"Is there a problem, Officer?" Billy asked.
"How is it that you happen to be in the middle of five collapsed thieves?"
"I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time?"
"Search him." the police chief ordered.
"Hey, watch it!" Billy exclaimed as he was searched.
"Chief Higgins, we found a bullet in his jacket." said an officer. "That along with some crosses and holy water."
"I needed that to ward off Mr. Unlucky." Billy said, immediately regretting what came out of his mouth.
"We always get crazy people at this time of year. But you sir, have to be the worst. We can't have people like you roaming the streets. Take him downtown."
"But those are the thieves!" Billy exclaimed as he was handcuffed.
"You're no better. You assaulted these men and tried to take the money for yourself."
"How do you know that?"
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." Chief Higgins started.
Billy was taken into the jail that night, having convinced the entire police force that he was a crazy religious zealot who attacked the thieves in order to take the money for himself. The only person who could back him up was Mr. Unlucky, and he himself said only Billy could see him. Billy did see him as he was being driven away. The skeleton looked at the police car with a look of pure guilt on his face. Billy, however, was convinced that this was all an act. How stupid he was to have fallen for Mr. Unlucky's trickery. Now, he had a long, long night in the downtown precinct to look forward to, all thanks to that damn skeleton.
Billy- Present
"I think that whole incident is still on my record," Billy said. "I'm not so sure anymore, though."
"What a story," said Doctor Flaherty. "To think that you actually worked together with your Mr. Unlucky."
"That was a once in a lifetime shot there. There's no way I'm doing that again."
"Do you still fear him, then?"
"A bit, but I just plain don't like him. I know when he shows up something terrible's going to happen. I'm hoping that death isn't the next thing."
"You mean to say that you're expecting Mr. Unlucky to bring your death?"
"Well, death is worse than what happened to me when I was thirty-one. You try being lost in a desert on the scariest night of the year."
"Why were you in a desert?"
"Let's just say it was a business trip gone bad. Really, really bad."
Why was Billy going into a desert anyway? What horrible things can happen to a guy in a desert? And just what is Jack so desperate to tell Billy anyway? Find out in more chapters. Happy Halloween to you all, and thank you for your continued patronage. See you next time.