Assistants
Author's Note: Fwaha. Fear me. I have actually managed to (largely) stick to the promise I made in the last chapter- a week and a day, nyah? I feel so proud of myself...
Chapter Three: End Game
"Duo?" Hilde knocked tentatively at the door of the flat where she knew Duo lived. "Can I come in?"
"Oh, hey, Hilde," Duo greeted, swinging the door open with his usual smile, but it was blatantly obvious to Hilde that he lacked his usual enthusiasm. "I suppose you've come to talk with me about the blaring quarrel I had with Yuy earlier today?"
That was all Duo- straightforward and plain. Duo didn't like to beat around the bush very much. "Yeah," Hilde answered, feeling a little sheepish. "I know it's not really my place to ask, Duo-"
"Hey, hey," he held one hand up, stopping her babble midway. "Hilde, you're my best friend. And it's not as if the quarrel had anything private about it. It's just... Yuy drives me up the wall. Up the fucking wall, Hilde."
She stayed silent, having been friends with Duo long enough to know that he would elaborate without her prodding him.
"Damnit, Hilde, sometimes I wonder if that man is human. The scientists showed up, and Sally Po- you know, the woman with the weird curly hair- she asked him if he thought that the human psyche was properly equipped to handle the planned Mobile Suits." Duo paused, taking in a deep breath. "Do you know what the fucking bastard said? He said-" here, Duo pitched his voice according to the lower timbre of the Japanese man's. "In war they'll be equipped or die."
The fury on Duo's face was not to be trifled with... and Hilde rather thought she knew what was coming up.
"So of course, I asked him how later. Does he just intend to throw pilots out there into the field and see whether they can adapt? The heartless asshole suggested those who had nothing left to live for, or those who had suffered enough that piloting a suit of mass destruction wouldn't make any difference to their psyches. What kind of attitude is that, Hilde, what kind of attitude is that?" the braided male snarled.
"Duo..." Hilde said tentatively, approaching like one did a wounded dog- one who might possibly snap at even a helping hand. "Yuy doesn't know of your past."
"That's not the point!" His head, cradled in his hands a moment ago, snapped upright, rage burning in his violet eyes. "The point is that I and so many others lost my home and my family because of fucking asswipes like that guy! I'm not going back, Hilde. No way. I thought he was just straitlaced, but now I know he's disgustingly self-centered. Let's talk about something else, shall we?"
Accordingly, Hilde changed the subject, but privately she resolved to have a little talk with Yuy the next day
Duo called up his thesis report on the laptop, sweeping the clutter on his tableaway.He had almost taken the road down to the labs after school that day, but at the last moment remembered that he was no longer working for Yuy and gotten off the bus in a foul mood.
The human psyche was never built for war. The people who pull the triggers are those who have never seen the reality of what they are doing. That for every button they push another colony and thousands of families are rendered as ashes. If every world leader who makes these pompous decisions to play God could stand in the shoes of one little orphaned boy; war would not be part of human history.
Despite the repeated examples, war has continued in human culture. From the beginning, it was in terms of survival: whoever got the woman got to continue his bloodlines, whoever got the territory got more space to hunt. But now it is for greed. Those not motivated by bestial (i.e. inhuman) factors must be distanced from his bloodthirsty work to continue.
As such, the work of Heero Yuy- the planned Mobile Suits, to be used in war, must be piloted only by bastards as heartless as him, who will not see faceless forms floating about in nightmares, crying for justice and blood in a vicious cycle.
Duo frowned, then highlighted the entire last paragraph and deleted it. It certainly wouldn't do to condemn a scientist like Yuy in his thesis- it would get him and his ideals of peace nowhere whatsoever. But some niggling voice in him complained that it was true. What kind of pacifist would Duo be if he hid his viewpoints?
Nevertheless, this little voice was suddenly silenced by the sound of the phone ringing. He ignored it. If it were any of his friends, he would only snap at them, and they didn't deserve that.
To his surprise, when his answering machine picked up, it was Yuy's voice that rang out in his small apartment, crisp and sounding as if nothing at all had happened between them.
My apologies for yesterday. Perhaps I was hasty in the statement I made to Po, and in the words I gave you when you tried to refute my point. Schbeiker has told me what she felt she could. All I can offer in my defence is that I was unaware. Again, I am sorry... Duo.
The house was silent.
Heero continued work in the lab, but somehow the words that Duo had flung at him continued to resound in his mind, disrupting his concentration, spoiling his work. Irritated, Heero strode into his room and into the adjoining bathroom, splashing cold water on his face before staring at himself in the mirror.
Was Duo right? Am I really a bastard? He wondered, staring at his reflection in the mirror. It had been a long time since he last saw himself... his hair was getting longer, he mused. It needed a trim... and his eyes. People called them Prussian, and even when he was in high school, one of the teachers- an old, grandmother-type whom Heero had felt could be trusted- had called them serious. Sad, even.
They had a reason to be that way... and Duo was the first person he had actually come to know who had shared that reason.
"So he's sick. Why are you telling me this, Hilde? It serves him right," Duo replied harshly.
"Duo, that's not like you. None of the rest of us dare to go near him, because he's snapping and snarling at any and all of us. Even the Director."
"Then what makes you think I'll fare any better?" Duo asked (quite logically too, he thought.)
Over the phone, Hilde made a noise that Duo had learned to identify as her are-all-males-quite-this-stupid-all-the-time? noise. "Let's see. How do I count the ways? First, you've quarreled with him and lived. You've gotten him to convert to milk coffee. You've survived longer than any other assistant has. Not to mention you've quarreled with him and lived. Has my point been taken, Duo? Get your butt over here and haul him into bed. We're getting irritated around here."
"Yes ma'am," Duo replied meekly. When the phone was safely back in its cradle, Duo muttered, "Yuy terrorizes lab and as usual? It's Duo to the rescue."
"Get your ass off that chair and into bed. Now," Duo commanded, standing in the doorway and giving the Duo-glare™ to Yuy.
Yuy replied with the Death Glare™, but even Duo could see that it lacked its usual bite. Yuy was definitely unwell- that much was obvious from the slightly pasty cast his skin had acquired in the four days Duo hadn't seen them, along with the dark circles around his eyes. "What happened to 'I'm never coming back', Maxwell?"
"Shuttup, Yuy. I wouldn't be back here at all if it weren't for the fact that you're pissing everyone else off. Now get into bed. GO!" The last word was shouted, and Heero stiffened, standing up, battle-ready despite his fatigue.
"Yuy, if I wanted to get in a physical fight with you right now, you'd lose it." Duo's grin was without the slightest bit of humour in it.
"Want to bet, Maxwell?" In half a second Heero had the other man's hands pinioned behind his back. Odin Lowe, hovering over him, teaching him the ways of the cold, cruel world out there... "I know things that you don't."
"And so do I!" Duo spat back, wriggling out of the tight hold. A street brat, learning little tricks of stealth and how to run away from those bigger than him... "Yuy, go to bed! You're in no shape to work like this."
"And who are you to talk to me about my work, considering how much you despise it, Maxwell?"
"Heero... I'm not going to talk about that. For goodness sake, just listen to me and get into bed. Go and rest. I'll get you something to eat... if you sleep now I'll even give you your laptop later."
Duo didn't know whether it was the less antagonistic tone he employed, or the use of the first name, or the cajoling and bribery, but the anger suddenly went out of Heero's eyes and he sagged. "Damn you..."
"That's it. Come on. Get out of that coat-" Duo dragged it off him, then continued briskly. "Then get into a comfortable shirt and pants and go to sleep."
Duo barely had time to take in Yuy's room before Yuy fell into the bed, clearly exhausted. "Yuy," Duo spoke softly, throwing the closet open. "You can't sleep in work clothes, you'll suffocate yourself." Throwing a white shirt at Heero, he said, "Get into that. Now."
Heero made an effort to sit up, but the bed was so warm... he just wanted to shut his eyes and sleep. Vaguely, he heard Duo make an irritated noise and walk over. Next thing he knew, a warm hand was supporting him and Duo was undoing the buttons on his shirt one-handed. The stuffy shirt was suddenly gone, and Duo's hands were all over him, comfortingly cool on fevered skin.
Irritated-noise-number-two, and next moment, the white shirt was over his head, and the blanket was being pulled out from under him. Capable hands rearranged him, and then the blanket settled over him. Instinctively, he fisted one hand in the sheets.
"There. Take a nap. I'll wake you in three hours..." Duo muttered.
For once, Heero seemed docile, nodding drowsily... even his 'alright' sounded vaguely childish and un-Heero-ish.
Before he left to get the chicken soup as well as a head start on Yuy's work, Duo was vaguely aware of a picture frame, set facedown on the bedside table beside Heero.
Chicken soup in flask, check. Laptop, check. Work, check. Duo thought to himself, back in the room, sitting beside Heero on the bed. He glanced at the sleeping form, curled up tight into a ball, then reached over and picked up the picture.
A little boy... a jolt flew through Duo as he realized it had to be a picture of a younger Heero... somehow, he had never been able to see the dark-haired scientist as a child, and even the expression in the picture seemed to indicate that Heero had been born serious. The man beside him bore him no resemblance... at the corner was signed... Odin Lowe.
Whaa? Duo thought to himself. Odin Lowe had been one of the premier politicians in the peace struggle- which had managed to fall apart after he had been revealed to be an assassin of the highest caliber. Why had Heero been with this man when he was younger?
Duo decided that Heero had a lot of explaining to do when he woke.
Heero stirred, warmth all around him... a persistent hand was shaking him awake, and he focused blearily on its owner, entirely ready to tell it to go away and leave him in peace to get back to the oblivion of sleep. But then there was that aroma of soup wafting throughout the room...
"Hey, Heero? Wake up. There's soup waiting... come on, sit up..." Duo seized the pillow from behind him and propped in upright, forcefully pushing Heero back to recline on it. "Here. My chicken soup- homegrown recipe, so feel honoured. Store-bought has nothing on it."
Heero barely had the energy to raise an eyebrow, but he did do so when Duo raised a spoonful of soup to his lips and grinned. "You don't have to feed me, Maxwell. I'm not a child."
"Ah, but you're a patient. So just stop arguing and open your mouth. Be a good boy, Heero," Duo added, grinning at the rather offended look on Heero's face. Nevertheless, the Japanese scientist opened his mouth, letting the soup slide down his throat as Duo popped the spoon in and tilted it. "How is it?" Duo asked, for once not the college Shinigami and prankster, but the chef concerned over the taste of his food.
Heero merely let his lips quirk upward. "Good."
Duo frowned in mock outrage, but Heero could tell that there was really nothing of anger in the other man. "I'm offended. Just good?"
"Hn."
"Come on, admit it, it's the first time you've had soup like this," Duo jibed, teasing Heero as he held up the next spoonful.
"Hn."
"I'll take that as a yes-hn, then!" Duo chirped.
"Hn."
The soup was soon gone, and Heero was feeling sufficiently back to his old self to request his laptop.
"Right here," Duo said, raising the slim computer. "I've done what I could in the way of calculations and the grunt work... there's a bit about the schematics of the design that I couldn't really cover, though."
"I thought you hated what I was doing."
"I do," Duo replied, staring at him straight in the eye. "Just that I can't hate you for what you're doing. It's a lucrative business, after all, and your rationale about the pilots..." he loosed a bitter laugh. "I suppose if you had asked me to pilot one when I was sixteen I would have. After all, as you said, what have they to lose?"
"No."
Duo glanced up at the other man, looking quiet and drawn for once- a wearier version of the Heero Yuy he was used to, a blaze of pain in the other's eyes. "It's not for the money- I would have gone out in one of them. Who better to pilot these things than their creator? After all... I had nothing to live for. Even now I'm not sure I do."
Duo's breath caught in his throat. Leaning forward, he subconsciously closed his hand over Heero's. "Does- does this have anything to do with Odin Lowe?"
Heero looked sharply at him, but soon subsided. "I should have known you'd look. Yes, this has everything to do with Odin Lowe, Duo. He was a surrogate father to me- picked me off the streets, or I would have gone your way and become a street brat too. The man was always gentle to me, but he never made any bones about the fact that he was an assassin and hoped I'd become one too." He paused, taking a deep breath.
Why am I telling this man what I have never told anyone else?
"Duo, when I first killed someone I was eight." Heero found his voice surprisingly steady as he waited for Duo's reaction- would the brunette man draw away from him in disgust, run out and tell everyone?
To his surprise, Duo just regarded him. "Why?"
"Because I believed in Lowe's philosophy. There were those against peace- you knew that. Those who wanted to keep their own power, and to talk his way around them would have taken far too long. I agreed. Humans will not listen if they do not want to listen-" Duo involuntarily nodded at that statement, "-so the simplest way was to kill them. My target was particularly difficult to kill... but who would connect the eight-year-old child with the cold-blooded murder?" Heero laughed harshly.
"After Odin died I swore that war would come to an end. I've kept my plans secret for ages. These plans for the Mobile Suits have been around since four years back, but I've been working on traditional warfare methods. What would be the use if we sat around and waited and talked? Duo, in war everything comes down to who has the bigger gun. Can't you realize that? I couldn't fight to protect Odin. But there are those out there who want to fight to protect their loved ones, here on Earth."
Duo took a deep breath. "Heero... I can't say anything. Hilde's told you my story- street brat, orphaned by war, yadda yadda. I just find that it'll all come back to a vicious cycle. They throw bombs at each other, and neither will come to peace. It just feeds on itself."
"Duo..." Heero's voice was small, tired. "Odin believed that peace had to be ushered in by armed might. I always thought he was right, until you showed up. Sometimes I wish I never met you, Duo Maxwell, because that would mean that I would be able to continue work without the doubts that keep plaguing me. Without seeing your violet eyes glaring at me... accusing me."
"Heero- Heero, I- I didn't mean what I said the other day. Not now. I was hasty- I admit I didn't know the full story. I- I'm sorry too," Duo stammered out an apology, but it wasn't the clumsy words that convinced Heero- it was the sincerity in the eyes that allowed him to read Duo Maxwell like an open book.
"How could you?" Heero laughed, a cynic, sad laugh. "There's no one else who knows of this. You're the first, Duo- in too many ways."
"How so?" Duo asked, interested despite himself.
"For instance- you're the first person I wanted to do this to." Suddenly lunging forward, Heero clasped his arms around Duo's waist and brought their bodies close in a tight embrace.
"Or how about this, Duo?" Closing the distance between them so fast Duo had no opportunity to pull free, he fused his lips to the American's. After a second, he turned the innocent, closed-mouth kiss into one that made Duo visibly sag into him by nibbling lightly on Duo's lower lip and parting them, running his tongue through Duo's mouth, chuckling lightly at Duo's soft whimper. Breaking the kiss, he murmured, "I've never kissed anyone, Duo- much less a man."
Duo gave him a smile that spoke of the tremors still running through him in the aftershock of their kiss. "Damn good for a first. Better than I'd expected my first to be, anyway."
Heero smiled almost lazily, picking up the end of the braid and wrapping its length twice around his hand. "I know we have our differences. But can we reconcile them, or failing that, live with them?" he whispered. "Will there be other firsts, Duo?"
"If- if you want them, Heero," Duo replied, eyes shining, a certain breathy catch to his voice. "If you will let me be first for you too."
It was five minutes later that Duo broke their second kiss, grinning at a sudden thought. "Well, it'll certainly be the first time I fall sick from a kiss."
Author's Note: And... That's The End. T.T Wonder if there's anyone who's as sad as me to see this go. I don't know when I'll be coming back to the Wing fandom... no inspiration, or actually, plenty of inspiration but no motivation. Ah well! I'll try! I'm Not Down Yet! And since this is the last... what can I say? R&R!