***Chapter One: Two Secrets

            She placed her bag down on the floor.  It was surprising to realize how she didn't have that much, stuff.  Her father was their family's main source of income, and he was an artist.  This meant that that source wasn't always reliable, so stuff wasn't something their family had a lot of.

            She unwrapped the blanket from Kit and set her down on the seat.  The baby cat circled once before settling down contently.  She wondered if cats that were gotten in the magical world were better behaved then normal cats, or if Kit was just special. 

            She sat down beside the window.  The compartment was empty, not a fact she minded in the least.  The moment she was still Kit got up and moved into her lap.  She took comfort in the unconditional companionship the small creature offered.  She was terrified, and Kit at least gave her something to focus on.

            She had no idea what she was getting into.  She would have refused to leave, stayed with the parents she loved, and even the sister that hated her.  But there was this feeling, in her old school, that she hated.  That something wasn't right, something was missing from her, or rather, from all of them.  And this school was offering the answer to that problem.  Here, she prayed, she would fit in.

            She heard the compartment door slide hope, and heard laughter, but she didn't look up.  How was she supposed to talk to people from a world she didn't know?

            "Hey there, Lily."

            She looked up at Remus, who was smiling at her, and tried to smile back.  There were three other boys behind him, all dragging their things with them.  It looked like they were going to be her company, whether she wanted it or not.

            "She's cute, Remus!" said the darkest of the three.  He had shaggy black hair, and eyes too match it.  But the dark eyes were warm, not cold.  And he was easily the best looking boy she'd ever set her eyes on.  "Did you finally get a girlfriend?"

            Remus took a friendly swipe at the boy's head.  "Hardly.  You'll have to forgive Sirius, Lily.  His mother dropped him on the head as a baby."

            "Three times," Sirius added, with a grin, and a heart breaking smile.

            "Lucky for you that you're thick headed."

            Lily's attention shifted to the new speaker.  His hair was just as black as Sirius', but not nearly as long.  And his eyes were not as dark, they were an even brown.  "This is James," Remus said with a smile.  "He's not much better then Sirius.  And this is Peter."

            She looked at the one boy who hadn't spoken yet.  He was shorter then the other three, and a little pudgy.  His eyes were brown to, almost as dark as Sirius' eyes.

            Lily was a firm believer that you could find out a lot about a person just by their eyes, and she did a quick assessment.  Remus' eyes were friendly.  A nearly golden honey.  His eyes created an instant trust bond with anybody he looked at.  Sirius on the other hand, had a very distinct mischievous glint across his nearly black eye.  They were friendly enough, but he was a trouble maker and she knew it all ready.  Peter's eyes had a childlike innocence to them, the kind that made it hard to believe he was friends with Sirius.  But James, his were different.  They were, tired.  He had a smile on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.  There was no innocence there, he was, jaded.

            "Not yours, huh Remus?"  Sirius asked with a grin, moving over to take the seat beside her.  "That's a cute cat, what's it's name?"

            Lily tried not to be intimidated by his obvious flirting, but couldn't help but be worried about Sirius' fondness for the word cute.  "Her name is Kit."

            He reached out to pet the cat on her lap, but Kit hissed at him.  His brow furrowed.  "Why don't cats ever like me?  I'm a good guy, Kit, I swear."  He tried again, and this time the kitten begrudgingly allowed him to pet her.

            Lily wasn't exactly sure what to do.  Here a boy she had never met before was petting her cat while it was sitting on her lap.

            "Alright, Sirius, that's enough."  James grabbed Sirius' robe and hauled him out of the seat.

            "But James!  She's so cute!"  Lily found it slightly disturbing, his use of the word.  She didn't think he'd like cats so much–

            "I know, Sirius, the girl's adorable, but she's not even at school yet.  Restrain yourself."

            'Oh,' Lily thought, blushing.

            James dropped Sirius in another seat, who grumbled good naturedly and still grinned. 

            "Ignore them," Remus said, sitting down beside her.  "They're always like that."

            She nodded slowly.  It wasn't her first experience with twelve year old boys.  She did go to school.

            "So, do you know about the school's houses?"

***

            She was sitting at the Gryffindor table.  She discreetly looked the table up and down to see who she was with.  She breathed a sigh of relief seeing the boys from the train.  Well, seeing Remus.

            He head down and eyes glued to her plate, she tried to eat what her stomach would allow. 

            There was a huge racket behind her, and before she thought about it, she turned to look.  A short boy, no more then a year ahead of her, was shouting.  She watched as he ran out of the room, obviously infuriated. 

            She supposed he hadn't meant for his hair to be neon pink.

            When she heard the boys from the train giggling, she put two and two together.

***

            It was always too quite in the doom.

            That was why, even though she had no desire to talk to most of the people there, she always stayed in the common room, in the one corner.  Kit was curled up by her feet, and she had her knitting in her lap.  She watched Remus out of the corner of her eye, waiting for James and Sirius to get distracted with each other.

            She was so glad that she was in Remus' house.  She didn't really care otherwise.  As long as she was in Remus' house, she wouldn't care if he was a Slytherin.

            The marauders as a whole, however, bothered her a great deal.  Sure, Sirius and James were amusing, but they had a tendency to be obnoxious.  Remus was sane, at least, most the time.  Peter, well, she didn't really know him.  He wasn't much of a marauder anyway.  She could tell that he was included because he was in the same dorm and they would never want him to feel left out.

            They really were good people, which made it that much more annoying when they were obnoxious.  Despite how much they claimed the jokes on Snape were because Snape was a horrible person, it was obviously an excuse to just have good natured fun. 

            Finally she decided she couldn't wait anymore, and walked over to their place near the fire.

            "Hey, it's the Cutie!" Sirius said with a grin.  Both he and James were on the floor by the coffee table, Remus on the couch, and Peter on the chair.

            She ignored him.  "Remus, can I talk to you?"

            Sirius cat called, and started making kissing noises.  Frustrated, Lily turned and glared harshly at him. "We're just friends, Sirius, and my name is Lily!" 

            Shocked silence followed this.  They'd never seen quite little Lily lose her temper before.

            James started to laugh.  The past two weeks had been so very stressful and overwhelming that Lily turned towards him to give him a piece of her mind too, but he cut her off with out realizing it.

            "Finally, Sirius, a girl you can't twist around your finger.  I never thought I'd see the day."

            Upon realizing that it wasn't her he was laughing at her anger left her, and she was suddenly very embarrassed and self conscious.

            "Oh yeah, James?"  He smacked his elbow down on the coffee table, palm open, in a silent challenge. 

            James took it, grabbing Sirius' hand in an impromptu arm wrestle.  Peter got down to be the referee.

            "What did you want to ask me, Lily?"

            Lily fell down onto the couch, glad Sirius and James were now distracted.  Something about Remus just made this so much easier.  As if he knew what it was like, going into something without any idea how it worked.  As if he knew how it felt to be different then everybody around him.

            All anybody had talked about today was the coming "tryouts", and she was burning with curiosity.  "What's Quidditch?"

            At that moment, James' hand slammed Sirius' with a bang that made her jump.  Both were staring at her, as if she was from Mars.

            "You don't know what Quidditch is?" Sirius asked, as if she was just plain stupid.

            "Well, I, no."

            "It's a game, Lily," Remus responded, giving both the other boys a warning glare.  "It's played on broomsticks, in the air."

            Her eyes went wide.  "Broomsticks?  You mean, flying?"

            "Either you lived in a hole, or," James' eyes widened with realization, "you're a Muggle born!"

            She nodded.  She knew what that word meant.  She'd heard it enough from the other girls in her dorm.  She wasn't worried about what they thought, though.  She trusted Remus to defend her if they started to tease her too.

            "That's great!" Sirius said.  Well, she hadn't expected that response.  "Dad insists I take Muggle Studies next year.  You can help me study!"

            James swung his leg and kicked the side of his thigh.  "You're such a jerk, Sirius."

            "What?"

            "Sirius, you are the best person at saying the worst things."

            "Wow, thanks Remus, that was really sweet."

            James looked up at her.  "If you want to see some Quidditch, come watch me try out tomorrow.  It'll be fun.

            Peter snickered.  "Yeah, fun to watch James kick everybody else's butt."

            "Isn't mail only supposed to come at breakfast?" Lily asked. 

            They all looked up to see what she was talking about.  She, like several other students in the room, were watching a large bird circle around the room, a letter strapped to its leg.

            When it landed on James' chair, they transferred their stares to him.

            "It has an official ministry seal on it.  James, did you break the law or something?" Sirius asked.

            James actually looked decidedly ill as he untied the letter.  He didn't even open it.  He shoved it in his pocket and stood.  Without a word to anybody, he left out the portrait hole.

            "He knows it's too late to be out there, right?" Lily asked.

            "Old James," Remus observed.

            "Yeah, I think you're right," Sirius agreed, his voice more somber then Lily had ever heard before.  She had no idea what they were talking about, and nobody seemed to want to enlighten her.

***

            The fire was nearly burnt out by the time James returned.  Lily was still beside it, attempting to study Potions.  She wasn't waiting up for him, well, not really.

            He almost walked past her without a word.  But something stopped him.  He walked back over and sat down, eyes captured by the fire.

            "What are your parents like, Lily?" he asked.

            She could tell by his voice he had been crying.  She answered slowly.  "My mother was the only friend I had for a long time.  My dad is an artist.  Like you."

            A half smile came across his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.

            "Do they treat you well?"

            "Yes.  They love me and my sister very much."

            He fell silent, and Lily was dying to know what had brought on this sudden interest in her life. 

            "How well can you keep a secret, Lily?"

            She looked at him.  "It's easy to keep secrets when you hardly talk."

            He smiled again.   It was so cold, it was almost frightening.

            "My mother died giving birth to me."  Dumbfounded, Lily didn't respond.  She didn't know what to say to that.  But James didn't wait long before continuing.  "Nobody even knows she's dead.  She worked with the ministry, like my father.  They lock the records for ten years and nobody is informed except immediate family."

            He reached back, and took out the letter.  With a glare, he threw it at the hot coals, which lit it in yellow flames almost right away.

            "My father died yesterday."

            Lily knew she had to be staring at him.  She didn't know what else to do.  How do you comfort somebody like that?

            He glared at the fire hard.  "I wish he would have died first."  James stood, bending as if to warm his hands by the fire.  "Don't tell anybody. For ten years."  He walked up the boys stairwell and shut the door.

***

            The day had been long.  Well, perhaps not as long as some.  They'd all gotten out of their third class because somebody had flooded the entire second floor.  She sat down at her place with the objective to eat quickly and then go take a nap.

            A small beautifully wrapped package sat on her plate.  She was about to get up and move, even though she always sat on the corner, maybe somebody had mistakenly put it at the wrong place.  Then her name caught her eye.

            For Dear Lily

            There was no signature.  No name.  She reluctantly started to remove the paper, despite how beautifully it was wrapped.  She half expected something to pop out of it.  She hadn't been the butt of the Marauder's jokes before, (she suspected Remus), but that didn't mean they wouldn't start.

            Inside the paper was a small white box.  She held her breath as she pulled the lid off.  Nothing blew up, nothing jumped, nothing happened.

            Inside was a necklace.  A small symbolic key on a chain.  There was a tiny message written next to it.

            You hold the key to my heart.

            "What did you get, Lily?" Remus asked. 

            She'd been so wrapped up in it, she hadn't even noticed them sit.  They didn't always sit with her, but because Remus like to be with her, it was an often enough occurrence.

            She turned it so he could see, hoping he could offer some sort of explanation as to what it was.

            Remus' eyebrows rose.  Sirius and James leaned across the table to look, while Peter peaked over Remus' shoulder.  "Was there a name?"

            Lily shook her head, looking back down at the note.

            Remus smiled warmly.  "It seems you've got yourself a secret admirer, Lily."

            She was so shocked by his assumption, she didn't even notice when Sirius and James started to cat call.

***

            It was too early to be awake, she was sure.  She slowly made her way to the desk, where everybody's laundry sat folded in separate piles.  It took her a long moment to translate what she was seeing.  Every pile was an sickly chartreuse color.

            Something must have gone wrong with the laundry.  Through her sleep fogged mind came the answer, the Marauders.

            With a sigh she grabbed her pile.  Everybody else would be having the same problem, there was no need to be embarrassed.

***

            Remus and Lily were both sprawled out on the boy's bed, two text books open in front of them.  Technically, she wasn't supposed to be in their dorm, but it wasn't a rule that was upheld often.  Sirius had a "date" somewhere.  James had wanted to practice for his game on the upcoming weekend, and Peter had gone along to watch.

            Lily didn't get potions.  She really just couldn't grasp it.  Charms, she adored.  This just was beyond her.

            Mentally fried, she let her head fall onto the book in front of her.  "Am I helping at all yet?"

            "Yes, Remus, you're helping me a lot.  My brain just doesn't want to admit that objects my parents mixed together at home in a pot suddenly have a different outcome if I put in a caldron and stir it clockwise."

            Remus smiled softly.  "You know, Lily, even if your parents put it in a caldron and stirred it clockwise, they still would get the same thing, only you would get something different."

            She blinked at him.  "But, why?"

            "Because you're special, Lily.  You're a witch.  There's magic running through you, and it affects everything around you."

            She turned to stare back at the book.  "Even this?  I mean, I knew, wand waving, was magic.  But even this uses magic?"

            Remus put an arm around her back and gave her a slight hug as she closed the book with a sigh. "There's so much I don't understand yet.  I don't know what I'd do without you, Remus."  She laid her head down on her arm.

            "It's nothing Lil.  I'm glad to be able to help."

            She lifted her head up, a question on her lips, but it died unuttered.  Instead she laid her head back down, looking the other way.

            Remus cleared his throat nervously.  "I guess I understand, what it's like, to be different."

            She turned her head back to face him.  He was answering her question without her asking.

            "I'm a werewolf."

            Her eyebrow shot up, and she slowly lifted her head yet again.  "Really?  What's that mean?"

            Remus seemed to radiate relief that she hadn't run out screaming.  Truthfully, Lily didn't know if she should run or not.  She had no idea what a real werewolf was, and why act on assumption? 

            "Well first, you can't tell anybody.  Nobody else knows."

            She spared a thought to wonder how many secrets she would have by the end of the year.

***

            Spring was coming, and the weather was decidedly warmer.  Well, maybe not that warm, she was thankful for her sweater.  But after being cooped up in the castle basically since September, she needed to be outside, even if it was just for studying.

            She knew who Severus Snape was, everybody does.  When he came and sat next to her, however, she had no idea why. 

            "Hi, I'm Severus."

            She looked at him without responding.  Was he going to tease her too?  The Slytherins hated her.  She watched with guarded eyes as his pale skin reddened slightly.  He was blushing?

            He was obviously thrown off by her lack of response.  "Look, ah, if those Marauders ever give you a hard time, let me know, okay?  I'll stop them."

            His cheeks flushing redder, he got back up and practically ran away.

            She wanted to tell him if he tried, the Marauders would only intensify their pranks on him.  Then it suddenly hit her why he had stopped.  And looking to her right, sure enough, there sat another one of the packages, wrapped in the same beautiful paper.  It was the seventh so far this year.

            Her secret admirer was Severus Snape.

            She'd been secretly hoping that it was Remus.  He, well, at least she knew him.

            She didn't pay much attention to boys though.  She didn't understand the point.  They just seemed to make everything so much more difficult.

            The Marauders were approaching, and in a stroke of forethought, she grabbed the package and shoved it in her bag.  They could see Snape leaving.  If they saw the package and guessed, poor Snape would never hear the end of it.

***

            Exams at her old school had never been as difficult and strenuous as they were at Hogwarts.  She loved the challenge though, and knew with a comforting confidence that she had passed every one, including Potions which she no longer struggled with because of Remus.

            She couldn't wait to go home.  Easter and Christmas were not enough.  Her bags had been mostly packed for several days. 

            She wrote to her mother every night, though the letters would often be held and sent a few at a time, because she felt bad for the owls.  Her mother knew everything that happened.  Even the two huge secrets the Marauders were making her keep.  She wasn't so sure about this no magic of over the summer thing, however.  She'd just learned how to use magic.  What if she forgot how by the time she got back?

            It would be worth the sacrifice though, for her own bed and her parents faces every morning.  She knew Petunia would probably be even worse then normal, but she would deal.  As long as she was home.