"In The Stars" Chapter 21

Wufei was startled from his spot on the floor in front of his door when he heard the phone ring across the hall. As it continued to ring he began to wonder why Treize hadn't picked it up yet. Pulling his door open he looked down the hall to see it empty, he quickly hurried into the other bedroom grabbing the phone and then going back to his own room. He hit the talk button just before the answering machine would have picked up.

"Hello," he said softly into the phone.

"Hey Wu, just thought I'd call and see how things went," Duo's voice said on the other end.

"Horrible," Wufei answered his shoulders sagging.

"Couldn't have been that bad," Duo surmised.

"I said some pretty nasty things."

"Maybe it isn't as bad as you think," Duo offered.

"What does that mean?" Wufei demanded.

"Tell me what you said and I'll tell you what I meant," Duo compromised.

Wufei sighed but started to explain. "At first I was just trying to make them leave, being a little rude and spiteful. But after Treize showed up my language became a bit more colorful. I more or less told them to fuck off and that I never wanted to see them again."

"That wasn't too far off from a normal conversation with your parents," Duo said after taking it all in. "Although my best friend would have probably earned himself a few slaps. The last time they'd spoken he told his dad that his dorm sucked and he hated being there."

"Really?" Wufei asked shocked.

"Yep, that relationship had pretty much fallen apart. I bet they weren't too thrilled to meet Treize."

"No not really... I don't think he was too impressed with them either. She hates me... and I don't even know her."

"She doesn't hate you. Did you make her cry?"

"Not in front of me, no, why," Wufei replied.

"Then she definantly doesn't hate you," Duo said matter of fact.

"How can you say that?" Wufei wondered as Duo hadn't even been there.

"Because I know your mother," Duo informed him. "So anything else happen?"

"Well other than I pretty much told Treize to go away, when I knew he was right, no,' Wufei conceded with a heavy sigh.

"Why did you do that?"

"I'm seriously thinking about leaving... I mean, damn it I was never meant to love or live like this. I really don't know how without getting defensive about everything," Wufei explained decided to ignore a question he couldn't truly answer for himself.

"Wu why do you want to run every time he tries to get you to talk about what you're feeling? What are you so afraid of to share your feelings and thoughts with him?"

"He'll think I'm weak and..." Wufei mumbled sliding to the floor and pulling his knees to his chest.

"No he won't, everyone feels and hurts, that doesn't make you weak. That Wu is gone, you deserve and can love freely," Duo answered his voice stern.

Wufei sighed again, how did he get into these conversations with Duo. The braided man was right more often than not, but still... it freaked him out the way Duo could talk about such emotions so easily, it was hard enough to just think about them. He was startled when he heard Duo's voice again.

"Wu, I know you can do this. You can be in a loving relationship; I know it with everything I am. Have faith in yourself and Treize, to be there and understanding."

"I have to go," Wufei said in reply deciding he just couldn't talk about this anymore.

"Wu..."

"Bye," he said interrupting Duo before hanging up the phone. "Well that was easier than normal. I'm glad you know, cause I'm not so sure anymore."

Wufei pushed himself up from the floor using the door as his support and leverage. He began to wonder again why Treize hadn't answered the phone, glancing at the clock to see it was well past dinner time. With a deep breath he pulled his door open and quietly stepped out into the hallway. He returned the phone to its base before moving toward the stairs. His bare feet allowed him to walk down slowly without being heard. He stopped at the entryway surprised to see the front room empty. Had Treize left after he ran upstairs? Deep in his soul Wufei prayed that wasn't the case. He moved away from the front door and down the hall to the kitchen and dinning room. There sitting in one of the dinning room chairs was Treize.

He had his forehead braced against his fists that were supported by his elbows. His eyes were closed like he was sleeping but Wufei knew that wasn't the case. Wufei stood silently beside the island watching Treize sit and breathe. Suddenly the older man's head popped up as his blue eyes opened to focus on him.

"Wufei, how are you feeling?" he asked concerned more for the younger man than his own feelings.

"I... don't know," Wufei answered honestly. "Maybe I should just go, might be better for everyone. I was never cut out for this love and relationship thing, pretty foolish to think I could honestly live with someone." He laughed even though his own words were tearing him apart. Why was he putting them both through this, he should just walk away.

"Wufei don't you dare walk out of my life with that lame excuse," Treize said, surprising him, as he stood up.

"It's not..." he replied before his voice dropped. "It's the truth."

"No it isn't, we've had lots of great times since you moved in. Yes there were a few rough patches but I think over all it has been wonderful and beautiful. Where are these feelings of inadequacy coming from?" Treize said moving closer to him.

"I just know that is how I feel, what does it matter where it comes from," Wufei replied taking a step back.

"Is it because of your parents visit?"

"They aren't my parents," Wufei shouted overwhelmed by his feelings of guilt and pain. "I wasn't born here."

"No but you have lived here for some time. Why do you cling so tightly to the past?"

"I won't betray them, even if weren't that close. To just forget about them," Wufei whispered.

"Not forget, but to move past it, allow yourself to live," Treize offered now close enough to touch Wufei.

"But it is wrong, damn it this isn't my world... I don't belong here!" Wufei huff stepping back yet Treize's large hand on his shoulder stopped him from moving any further away.

"No Wufei this has become your world, you do belong here with us, with me. You died in that other place, it was like you were reborn where you left off. Yes you took another's place yet maybe that person was put in a different reality like you. You belong here just like I and Duo do. Do you understand what I'm telling you Wufei? I know you feel like you have stolen someone else's life but I don't think Lady Fate would do that without giving the other soul a choice."

"Why would anyone choose to leave this place?" Wufei asked quietly interrupting him.

"I don't know, maybe he wasn't truly happy with his life as it was going so far," Treize offered pulling Wufei close. "I bet you she would say the same thing."

"He's right," a female voice said in Wufei's mind surprising him. "The Wufei of this world had gone to that hill to die that day, he was very unhappy, with only Duo and his feelings for this man keeping him there as long as they had. He welcomed my option to leave this place and move on... he did die but he is happier now than he ever would have been there. Listen to him, stop trying to hide behind this notion..." She was gone as suddenly as she'd come.

"He was unhappy... he wanted to die that day, he went to die," Wufei whispered.

"What?" Treize asked confused and concerned.

"She just told me that the soul whose body I hold wanted to leave this place desperately. The only reason he hadn't done it sooner was Duo... and you... I guess he just couldn't take anymore, I feel strangely sad for him, to so badly want to leave this place... but maybe I just don't understand what his life was truly like before I came along, offering him a way out without hurting anyone," Wufei explained lost in his own thoughts.

"Maybe that is the case, you were both provided the perfect opportunity," Treize said leading Wufei over to the table to sit down. "He wanted to leave, while I think deep down you wanted to live. I think that is what Lady Fate saw, realizing it to be a perfect trade for everyone."

"She is right..." Wufei mumbled absently. "I am hiding behind this, using it as my way out..."

"Way out?"

Wufei's head shot up realizing he'd actually said those words out loud and not just in his head. "It's nothing," he finally said shaking his head.

"No it is something," Treize disagreed. "Now what did you mean using it as a way out?"

Wufei sighed, silently cursing his big mouth. "It goes beyond this... the real reason I want to leave... I'm afraid... you'll think I'm too weak and not want me around anymore. So I thought if I walked now, it won't hurt so much."

Treize's finger gently tapped Wufei's forehead. "What will it take to get you to understand," Treize said to each tap, "I am not letting you go. Haven't I proven that thoroughly enough? I understand your fear but you're mind doesn't seem to have grasped that I love you deeply and will fight tooth and nail to keep you with me."

Wufei stared at him vocally speechless while his mind was working a mile a minute. So many thoughts flooded forward he almost couldn't make sense of them all. He was overcome with so many emotions he felt like he was being torn apart by them all. His attention was suddenly grabbed when Treize's hands squeezed his own. "It hurts," he finally choked out.

Treize was out of his chair and beside Wufei in an instant. "What does?"

"Inside... I feel like I'm being ripped apart..." Wufei answered with a sob.

"Shhh, its okay I'm right here," Treize soothed wrapping his arm around Wufei's shoulders and pulling him close.

Wufei collapsed against him barely able to breathe. "I wasn't meant to feel such things; they were supposed to be out of my reach, just beyond our goal. I was never supposed to care except about what we were doing. But I lost, I allowed myself to be killed and now... I can't stop myself from feeling these things. I wonder if they will ever get to feel such things... things we thought were lost to us... I'm sorry, God I'm so sorry!"

"For what?" Treize asked his voice low and soothing.

"For dying, feeling, living in someone else's rightful place," Wufei replied just barely able to keep himself from saying too much as it all came bursting forth. Yet his mind was screaming the words he'd held back. 'For pushing you away!'

"They will forgive you," Treize tried to sooth him. "No one will hold a grudge against you for feeling."

"They should, what right do I have!"

"Every," Treize replied strongly. "I imagine after that war ends they will find the same things and allow themselves to move on and live."

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