Chapter 4: The Schoolteacher
Colleen, Mary, Anthony, Brian, and Becky were seated on the porch of the church. Brian's ear was pressed up against the door, trying to listen in on the conversation involving the town council and Jenny Baker.
"What are they sayin'?" Becky asked curiously.
"I can't tell," Brian replied with a sigh.
"What are you guys doin'?" Matthew asked as he walked over with Connor and Daniel in tow.
"We're tryin' to find out if Jenny's gonna be our new teacher," Colleen explained. Matthew sat down on the step of the church with the boys in his lap. Daniel grabbed hold of the ribbon on Becky's bonnet and pulled on it.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, thinking Matthew had done it. When she saw Daniel clutching the bonnet in his little fist with a victorious grin on his face, she shook her head.
"Connor!" she exclaimed. Colleen looked over.
"That's Daniel, Becky," she laughed.
"Oh it's hard to tell them apart, anyway," Becky replied, taking her bonnet away from the boy and placing it back on her head.
"Shh!" Brian exclaimed. "I'm tryin' to listen!" The door opened, and Jake stood staring down at the curious students. "Too late. Is Jenny gonna be our new teacher?" Jake tipped his hat.
"Mrs. Baker will start teachin' Monday, and that's what ya'll better call her."
"Why can't we just call her Jenny? She told us to."
"That's different," Jake explained. "When she's your teacher, ya gotta respect her and not use her first name, like you do for Dorothy and Olive."
"Oh," Brian replied. "We can do that."
"You kids run along and stop dirtyin' the church steps." He started across town toward the barbershop. The children walked off, leaving the twins with Matthew. Matthew lingered on the steps of the church, waiting for Michaela. He had to drop the boys off with her, because he promised Ingrid he would meet her for lunch. Michaela emerged from the church with Jenny Baker a few moments later.
"Oh, Matthew, have you heard the news?"
"Yep," he answered. "Congratulations, Mrs. Baker."
"You don't have to call me Mrs. Baker outside of the classroom, Matthew." Jenny and Clayton had been to supper at the Sully homestead the evening before. The two of them seemed like very interesting and lovely people. The children took to them right away, the young couple seemed to share Michaela and Sully's views about people being equal, including the Indians.
"Right," Matthew said, blushing a bit. He turned his attention back to Michaela. "Ma, I gotta go meet Ingrid. I wanted to drop the boys off with you."
"Well, alright. I was just heading over to the clinic to pick up a few things." She took Connor into her arms, and reached for Daniel.
"Oh, can I hold him?" Jenny asked. "Me and Clayton are wantin' to start a family once we get settled in. I'd like the practice."
"Of course," Michaela replied with a grin. Matthew handed Daniel to the new schoolteacher before running off toward the immigrant camp. Michaela and Jenny began to walk towards town. "What is Clayton going to do about a job?" Michaela wondered.
"Oh, he's over at Miss Olive's ranch right now, seein' 'bout helpin' her out with her cattle."
"Oh, then he'll be working with Matthew!" Jenny smiled. "I think Clayton's takin' to your oldest boy. He misses his youngest brother. Jared was about Matthew's age. He died tryin' to save their ma from burglars.
"That's terrible," Michaela said sadly, shaking her head.
"Yeah," Jenny answered. "I think Clayton and Matthew will be good friends."
"I believe you're right. Matthew seemed fascinated by Clayton's story of his encounter with the bear." Jenny laughed.
"Clayton tells that one all the time thinkin' he's gonna get some kinda medal or somethin'." The two women laughed together and walked into the clinic. She hoped Sully would return with the wagon. He had taken a few things out to the old Quinn homestead. Josef had left it for Matthew and Ingrid, but Matthew wouldn't be living in it until after college and law school. Sully was thinking about asking Matthew to sell it or rent it out for someone else to use. Unfortunately the house couldn't be kept up by itself, and after the storms that came through a few days ago, the house had acquired a small leak in the main bedroom upstairs. He had gone out to fix it early in the morning, so Michaela thought he would surely be coming into town soon. She would take the wagon the children kept after Charlotte's death, but she knew Matthew would need it later when he came home.
"How have things been going for you and Clayton since you arrived?"
"We've been doin' alright. The house is almost completely cleaned up, and we're all unpacked. The ladies in town have been real nice to me. Miss Dorothy gave us our first copy of the gazette for free, and Miss Olive set us up with an account at the mercantile. Grace even baked us an apple pie, which is Clayton's favorite, so I had to hide the last piece from him so I could have a taste." Michaela laughed and bounced Connor on her hip. She put him down on the exam table, because she could tell he needed a new diaper.
"Oh, could you hand me one of those clean diapers from that shelf, please?" Michaela asked. Jenny walked over to retrieve it for her new friend. Michaela quickly cleaned her little boy up, and put a fresh diaper on his bottom. "All better." She looked at Jenny. "I'm happy for you that the ladies have made you feel welcome. Have you met Myra yet?"
"Oh yes! How could I have forgotten? She was there when Grace gave us the pie. She's a real sweetheart."
"Yes she is. Her husband probably won't give you or Clayton any trouble, but before they married, he was pretty unpredictable. He still is at times."
"Who is her husband?"
"Hank Lawson."
"The bartender?" Jenny asked with wide, questioning eyes.
"Yes," Michaela replied with a grin. "Somehow they suit each other. Thankfully for the town, he's a better person when he's with her."
"Well, that's good. Sometimes I think wives are always the better halves of their husbands." At that moment, the door opened, and Sully walked in.
"Speaking of husbands," Michaela giggled. Jenny laughed, her cheeks blushing a bit. Sully glanced at Jenny Baker, who put Daniel down on the exam table.
"Afternoon, Sully," she said with a smile. "Dr. Mike, I better be getting over to the mercantile. I need to pick up a few things for dinner this evenin'."
"Alright," Michaela responded. "See you later, Jenny." Jenny left, and Sully closed the door behind her. He walked over to stand beside his wife. She looked up at him to see question in his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"Nope," he replied. "You ready to go home?"
"Something's wrong, Sully."
"Nothin's wrong. I was just wonderin' why Jenny left so quick."
"Like she said, she had to pick up a few things for dinner. We were talking about husbands."
"Oh, anything interesting I should know?" he asked with a laugh. Michaela stood on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips.
"No. I love you just the way you are." Sully grinned, pulling Michaela closer to kiss her more passionately.
"You sure about that?" Michaela answered him with a kiss and then a verbal response.
"I'm positive," she answered. They kissed again, and the giggles of two curious boys broke them apart. They looked to find both Connor and Daniel sitting on the exam table, watching their parents and giggling all the while.
"Do you think that's funny?" Sully asked with a laugh, picking Connor up into his arms and holding him above his head. He put the boy back down and began tickling his little belly. The boy's feet began to kick, and his arms flailed about as his little face turned red from laughing so much. Michaela looked at Daniel, who was trying to join his father in tickling his brother, so Michaela began tickling the boy, making him laugh just as loud as his brother.
Once the boys had calmed, Michaela went about the clinic, picking up a few things she needed. One of those things was a small jar full of herbs to brew for morning sickness. Like with the boys, she was getting bouts of it all throughout the day, and she had run out of it at home.
Sully took the boys outside and climbed into the wagon with them. He pulled it around to the front of the wagon, and looked around for Colleen and Brian. Sure enough, they had seen their father pulling the wagon over to the clinic and knew it was time to go home. They climbed up into the back of the wagon and waited with Sully and the boys for Michaela.
Inside the clinic, Michaela was just bending over to pick her medical bag up off of her desk chair. As she leaned forward, she became dizzy and had to grip the edge of the desk to keep her balance. She closed her eyes and slowly lowered herself into her desk chair. The room seemed to be spinning, and she knew this wasn't anything like morning sickness. She hadn't experienced this feeling before, and it was very frightening.
After a minute or two, she felt fine again, and decided to keep this to herself to spare her husband and children from worry. She put the herbs into her medical bag, locked up the clinic, and pulled herself into the wagon. Sully had the feeling that something wasn't right, but the smile on Michaela's face seemed to tell him everything was perfectly normal.
Michaela stepped into her bedroom and sat down on the bed, putting her hand over her flat stomach. She was feeling a bit queasy, so she had excused herself from the dinner table to go lie down. Sully promised to come check on her as soon as he helped Colleen and Brian clean up the dishes.
The boys had been put down for a nap long ago, and Matthew had already come home from seeing Ingrid. The day was slowly winding down, and Michaela felt as if her body was winding down with it.
She groaned as she pulled off her shoes and put them at the foot of the bed. She changed into a nightgown, intending to stay in bed for the rest of the afternoon, knowing from her first pregnancy that she should get all the rest she could. She had to take extra precautions, and she was already worried enough about her previous bout of dizziness.
As she rested against the pillows, she closed her eyes, only hearing the sound of her own heartbeat as she concentrated on relaxing for the baby's sake. She began to picture what her baby would look like, and the first thing that came to mind was her hair and smile. She wondered whether the baby was a boy or a girl, hoped it would be healthy, and found herself smiling when she thought of holding it for the first time.
After about twenty minutes, she opened her eyes when the sound of footsteps coming closer made her turn her head toward the door. She smiled when Sully walked in, hoping he hadn't woken her from a nap.
"Sorry if I woke ya."
"I wasn't sleeping," she replied.
"How are ya feelin'?"
"Better," she said, breathing in a slow, deep breath. She bit her bottom lip, knowing she needed to tell Sully about what happened earlier. "Sully, I need to tell you something." He settled down onto the bed beside her and took her hand in his.
"What is it?"
"Earlier at the clinic before we came home I began to feel dizzy."
"Dizzy?"
"Yes," she said, swallowing hard. "I nearly collapsed, but I held onto the desk for support. The feeling subsided shortly after, but I've never experienced that before."
"Do you think that's somethin' we should be worried about?"
"I'm not sure," Michaela explained. "I would feel better if Dr. Bernard would come out for a consultation."
"I want you to rest tomorrow. It's Sunday, so ya don't gotta go to the clinic."
"But what about church?"
"The folks will understand."
"But they don't even know I'm expecting."
"Well, they don't gotta have a reason that you're feelin' poorly, do they?"
"I suppose not," Michaela replied softly.
"I'll wire for Dr. Bernard as soon as Horace opens the telegraph office in the mornin'."
"Sully thank you," Michaela whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. Sully kissed her hand.
"You just rest and try to think about good things. I'll go downstairs and tell the kids you're feelin' poorly, and we'll take care of everything 'round the house." Sully got up and started for the door, and Michaela suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her belly. She screamed out.
"Sully!" Sully rushed back to her side, kneeling on the floor and taking her hand in his. Tears were beginning to roll down her cheeks as her free hand pressed against her belly. She began to gasp, and Sully knew something was going terribly wrong.
"What is it? Is it the baby?"
"Oh Sully!" she cried out. She began to sob.
"Michaela?!"
"Sully, I think I'm losing our baby!" Sully felt as if his heart had stopped for a moment. Had she really just said what he thought she'd said? God, it couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. Everything had been going so well!
"Michaela, try to relax. I'm gonna go get some help."
"There's nothing anyone can do," she cried. "Please. Please just stay with me. Don't leave me!"
"There's nothin'?" Sully asked. Michaela bit her bottom lip as the pain continued. She suddenly remembered something.
"Get Colleen to brew some tea with the herbs I've taught her about. It seems to stop contractions."
"Will it work?" Sully asked. Michaela swallowed hard, knowing the chances were slim to none.
"It has to." Sully kissed Michaela's forehead.
"Colleen!" he shouted, not wanting to leave his wife's side. "Colleen!" Footsteps pounded on the stairs, and three seconds later, Colleen, Matthew, and Brian were entering the room.
"Ma? What is it?" Colleen asked, seeing the pain her mother was in.
"The tea," Michaela whispered. "The tea Cloud Dancing told me about, remember?"
"The one that stops . . ." she stopped herself in realization.
"The herbs are downstairs. Please go brew them. Quickly!" Michaela ordered. Colleen nodded and rushed to do her mother's bidding.
"Ma?" Brian asked worriedly. Matthew realized what was happening.
"Is there anything we can do?" Sully swallowed hard as Michaela began to moan in pain.
"I want you boys to sit by her side. Brian, hold her hand, will ya?" Brian nodded, not knowing what was going on, and took his mother's hand in his.
"Ma, it'll be alright. Colleen will take good care of ya." Sully watched his wife helplessly, not sure of what to say or do to make her feel better. He sat at her side, whispering words of encouragement, hoping that these pains would stop and they would still have their baby safe within Michaela's womb.
Colleen re-appeared a few minutes later with the steaming cup of tea. Michaela held her head up so she could sip at the hot brew. Sully gently massaged Michaela's shoulders, hoping that his touch would be of some comfort.
"It's gonna be alright ma," Colleen promised.
"Do you want me to ride out to the reservation and get Cloud Dancing?"
"Cloud Dancing has nothing else that can help me," Michaela replied after drinking down the last bit of tea. She relaxed against the bed as the pains slowly began to decrease. She knew that she may have just lost her baby, but there was no way of really knowing for sure if the baby was still alive. It was too early to really be able to detect a heartbeat with the stethoscope. Perhaps Dr. Bernard would be able to give her a thorough diagnosis when he arrived. She wished there was something she could do to know for certain, but it would be very hard to examine herself.
Connor began to cry in the other room.
"I'll get him," Matthew said, standing up and starting out of the room. Michaela swallowed hard and looked at Brian and Colleen.
"Will you please go help your brother?"
"Sure," Colleen responded. "Come on, Brian." The two left the room, closing the door behind themselves. Sully took Michaela's hand in his.
"How are ya feelin'?"
"Better," she replied with a weak nod. "Physically, at least."
"Well, the pain stopped. That's a good thing."
"Yes," Michaela replied. "But I have no idea what harm that could have done to the baby. Sully, I don't even know if our baby is still with us."
"But . . ."
"I'm not bleeding at the moment, and that's a good sign," she said with a forced positive smile. Sully felt his heart starting to sink. He was being faced with the possibility of losing another child. Losing Hannah was hard enough, because he lost Abagail in the process. But he didn't think he could take losing another child, especially if it was with Michaela. Being with child put an extra light in Michaela's eyes, and he didn't want to see that light go out.
Myra entered her homestead at five o'clock to find that it was completely empty. She knew that Hank wouldn't be home until late, like usual. The only nights he closed up early were Wednesday nights. On Monday, the saloon was busy because many men had the weekends or at least Sunday off of work, and they just wanted to unwind from a stressful day. Tuesday was usually busy because the men usually had a poker game that would last until midnight. Wednesday always seemed to be pretty tame, but Thursday and Friday brought in the most money. Since it was Saturday, Hank left the bar open until the last drunkard took his stumbling steps out of the door so Hank could close up and count his money. Yes, he had to make a living, but Myra felt so lonesome sometimes, because Hank felt that money would make him more important. He was self-employed, and at the beck and call of every drunkard and gambler in town.
She let out a heavy sigh and found herself to be too tired to fix him a warm meal. She wasn't sure if he'd even be home while it was still hot. She usually ate at Grace's before she helped Grace close up, and she would fix Hank up a plate too. Unfortunately, Grace's had been so busy that there was barely anything left over to eat. Hank would have to make due with the biscuits left over from that morning's breakfast.
She made her way upstairs and into the master bedroom and started a fire in the fireplace. The freshly chopped firewood crackled once the flame from the match began to spread. The old clock in the corner of the room ticked away silently, and Myra found herself captivated by the dancing flames in the fireplace. They reminded her so much of what she wanted to be. Ever since she was a little girl, she had wanted to lead a quick-paced life and cover as much territory as she possibly could in the short amount of time that life permits a person to have.
She'd traveled a distance to get here, but she'd stopped and never continued her journey. But she wasn't disappointed. She had made the best friends she knew she'd ever meet, married the man she loved more than life itself, and had a job that fed her and paid her pretty well. She couldn't ask for anything better.
She let out a sigh and stood up, wondering if Hank would make it home earlier than usual or not. She hoped he wasn't drinking too much, because when that happened, he ended up falling asleep before Myra could even ask him how his day had been.
She was surprised to hear the door open downstairs. It was just barely past five o'clock. What was Hank doing home so early?
"Myra?" his voice asked.
"Upstairs!" she called. Hank's heavy footsteps made their way upstairs. He entered the bedroom and breathed a sigh of relief. "Hank? What on earth are you doin' home so early?"
"A fella came ridin' into town sayin' there was a prowler scarin' ladies out in the country. I wanted to come check to see that you're alright."
"I'm fine. A prowler?"
"Yeah. Apparently he tried to attack the Widow Anderson last night, and I know she's only about six miles away from here."
"I just got home, and I ain't heard a thing."
"I closed up and told the fellas to all get home and check on their wives."
"That's very considerate of you," Myra replied with a smile.
"You sure you're alright?"
"'Course I am," Myra replied. "I was just a little surprised to see ya home. You can go back to work now if ya want."
"I'm stayin' here."
"What?"
"If there is a prowler 'round here, I don't want him getting to ya." Myra stood on her tiptoes and kissed Hank.
"I know how to protect myself, Hank. We've got a shotgun on the mantle. I don't want you sittn' around here mopin' cause you ain't at the saloon."
"I ain't gonna do that," Hank promised.
"You mean, you actually want to spend the entire rest of the evening with me?" Myra asked with a grin, pretending to be shocked. Hank rolled his eyes.
"Well, if you don't want me to, I'll leave." He started for the door.
"Hank! Ya gotta learn to know when I'm jokin'," Myra laughed, shaking her head.
"So ya want me to stay?"
"If it'll make ya feel better, then stay," she replied with a sigh and a smile. "Come downstairs with me."
"What for?"
"So we can talk."
"About what?" Hank wondered.
"About anything! We don't get much time to talk with the both of us workin', and you stayin' so late at the saloon."
"But I gotta stay. The later I'm open . . ."
"The more money you'll make, I know," she replied, having heard this at least a hundred times.
"I've said that a lot, huh?" Hank asked with a sheepish grin.
"It's alright. I understand." She took her husband's hand, and they started down the stairs. Once they were seated in front of the fire, Hank tapped his fingers on the armrest of the chair.
"What do ya wanna talk about?"
"How was your day?" she asked to begin with.
"It was alright. A couple fellas got riled up and beat up on each other, but other than that, it was pretty quiet. Won myself a new horse."
"Oh?" Myra asked, trying to sound interested in Hank's gambling, though she didn't exactly support the habit. She knew she couldn't talk him out of doing it though.
"Yep. Sold it to Loren for twenty bucks."
"So, you've got a little extra money on you?"
"Yep. Why?" Hank asked curiously. "There somethin' ya need?"
"Well, more like somethin' I want," Myra explained. She bit her bottom lip nervously. It had been a long time since she had been on a true vacation. She knew that it was hard to afford those kinds of things, but even if they could get away from Colorado Springs for one night or two, it would be better because they could have more time to spend together than usual.
"What did ya have in mind?"
"Well, it'd be nice to get away for a couple days," Myra explained.
"'Cause of the prowler?" Myra sighed and shook her head. Sometimes men just didn't understand!
"No! I'd like to have some time to be alone with ya."
"Oh," Hank replied. He suddenly realized exactly what his wife was talking about. "We're alone now." Myra swallowed hard and shook her head.
"Yeah, I know, but in the mornin' we're gonna be getting up early and goin' on about our day like usual. Can't we just get away from work for a couple days? I already talked to Grace, and she's willin' to give me Monday and Tuesday off of work."
"But Monday and Tuesday are two of my busiest days," Hank replied.
"Oh forget it!" Myra exclaimed. "Sometimes I think you don't understand women at all!" Myra jumped up out of her chair and rushed up the stairs. Hank sat there with a dumbstruck look upon his face for a few moments before getting up to rush after her. By the time he reached their bedroom, Myra had locked the door. He knocked on it.
"Myra?"
"Go away! Leave me alone."
"But what did I say?"
"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" Hank sighed and finally retreated back down the stairs, hoping Myra would calm down enough to at least tell him what he said wrong, so maybe he could fix it.
Michaela was resting when Sully brought in another cup of tea for her. Colleen was downstairs doing her chores with Matthew and Brian, trying to give Michaela and Sully some room.
"Here ya go," he said softly, handing her the cup.
"Thank you," she responded quietly. She took a sip and blinked her eyes as the last of her tears clung to her eyelashes.
"Don't you worry, when Dr. Bernard gets here, we'll get some answers."
"No," Michaela whispered, shaking her head.
"What do you mean, no?"
"Sully, I don't want to bother Dr. Bernard. There'll be nothing he can do if the baby's dead." She looked away, and Sully took her hand in his.
"What are you sayin'?"
"I'm saying that it will be difficult to even know for certain if the baby's still alive. I'm not very far along yet, and only time will tell. If I begin to experience bleeding, then . . ."
"Shh, don't think like that," Sully whispered. "You're sayin' the baby might still be alive?"
"Yes," Michaela said with a nod. A flicker of hope appeared in Sully's eyes. "But I don't want us to get our hopes up. It's possible that . . ."
"Look, we don't know for sure what happened, but the best thing to do is to think positive."
"But Sully, I think we should prepare for the worst."
"I ain't ready to do that, Michaela," Sully replied. "I ain't ready to say goodbye when I haven't even gotten the chance to say hello." Michaela began to cry again.
"Oh Sully, I don't want to lose our baby," she sobbed. "I don't want to think about bad things, but I can't help it. I'm a doctor, and I always have to consider all of the possibilities." She put the teacup aside, and Sully pulled his arms around her. "I blame myself for this."
"Why would this be your fault?" Sully asked. "If it's anybody's it's mine. Maybe we shouldn't have been out in that lake the other day."
"Sully, that had nothing to do with this, I'm sure of it. I haven't been resting as much as I should, so it could have something to do with that."
"You ain't been doin' nothin' ya didn't do when you were carryin' the boys," Sully replied.
"I know," Michaela replied. "But, Sully . . ."
"These things happen, Michaela, but I'm sure that our baby is still safe inside of ya. Maybe she was just givin' her ma and pa somethin' to think about."
"You really want a daughter, don't you?" Michaela asked, gently stroking Sully's cheek.
"I know you do too," he replied, smiling a little.
"You're right. I would love to have a little girl, but a boy would be just as nice." She sighed. "What am I saying?"
"You're sayin' that you still have hope," Sully explained. "I believe our baby's still with us, and I ain't willin' to give up hope. Are you?" Michaela looked up into Sully's eyes, and she knew that both of them were strong, and if they helped one another, they could make almost anything happen. Maybe both of them hoping together would let God know that this baby was loved and wanted by so many people.
"I'm not, Sully," she whispered. Sully kissed Michaela's cheek.
"Good," he replied. "I still want to wire Dr. Bernard."
"Please, Sully, I don't want to bother him. I don't want any confirmations either. I just want to wait. If it's true, I'm not ready to say goodbye either." Sully swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew this was important to Michaela, and he also knew that the only way she could hold onto hope was to wait for any signs of either a miscarriage or the development of the baby. He hoped with everything that he had that their child was still with him. Even his feeling that Michaela was going to have twins again was still strong. He wanted to see Michaela happy, and he knew that she would be devastated if Dr. Bernard was able to confirm a miscarriage. He didn't want to know yet either. He wanted to hold onto the child or children that he hoped was still inside of her, and he wanted to think about all of the good times they still had to look forward to.
The children would be devastated if the baby was lost too. They would be hurting for the loss of their sibling, and for their mother's loss. He knew that seeing them grieve would break Michaela's heart even more. Michaela definitely wasn't the only one who needed to wait. They would wait for their miracle, because Sully knew that everything was going to be fine.
"Alright," he whispered. "We'll wait."