Chapter 5: Waiting for a Miracle

A week had passed, and Michaela was lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon. She hadn't had any bleeding, but she was still worried that the baby had been harmed or had died. The children had been asked by Jenny and everyone else in town about their mother's condition, but they would simply tell them that she was feeling poorly. Colleen helped with suturing and inoculations at the clinic, and she gave out medicine to those whose symptoms she could recognize.

Grace, who knew of Michaela's condition, had come to spend time with her having just lost a child herself. She knew what kind of pain Michaela was going through, and she knew the feeling must have been intensified due to the fact that they weren't sure the baby was even with them.

Michaela had been feeling so weak and drained lately, and Sully tried his best to keep up with things around the house. He would fix breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and he stayed home with the boys. When anyone would ask what was wrong with Michaela, he would simply answer that she was feeling poorly and resting comfortably at home.

But Michaela felt as if she was going to go out of her mind. She was still having morning sickness and cravings, which everyone was taking as a good sign, but she still couldn't help but worry. Perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her, and her body still thought she was pregnant.

She was becoming increasingly frustrated. Her mood swings were out of control, and one moment, she could be crying and the next, yelling at Sully for not being in the room when she needed him. Sully felt as if he was being pulled in fifteen different directions, but he also knew that he needed to be there for his wife.

Today, Sully was just fixing Michaela some herbal tea in the kitchen when a knock came to the door. Wolf and Pup rushed to the door but didn't bark. They had been trained to keep quiet in case of an intruder. Sully called them over.

"It's open," he called. Myra opened the door and smiled at Sully.

"Afternoon, Sully," she said with a smile. "Grace fixed up a basket of food for Dr. Mike. Mind if I take 'em up to her?"

"I'm sure she'd like the company," Sully replied with a smile. "Go on up." Myra climbed the stairs, and walked down the hall toward Michaela and Sully's room. She knocked on the door.

"Sully?" came Michaela's weak voice. She poked her head in.

"Nope, it's me," Myra replied. "Hope you're up for some company." Michaela gave a weak smile.

"Hello Myra," she whispered. Myra immediately noticed how very pale Michaela looked. Dark circles had formed under her eyes, and several handkerchiefs were scattered on the bed and nightstand.

"I heard you were feelin' poorly, so I thought I'd come see ya. Grace sent somethin' to eat."

"Thank you. I'll try to eat later," Michaela replied. Myra put the food to the side and sat down in a chair near the bed.

"I hope ya start feelin' better soon. Folks are really missin' ya in town."

"I miss them all too," Michaela replied, tears starting to form in her eyes again. She decided to take her mind off of her own worries for a while. "How are things with you and Hank?" Myra sighed heavily and shook her head.

"I ain't talked to in a week."

"What? What happened?"

"He came home early last Saturday sayin' there was a prowler around. Well, I was hintin' at getting away for a few days. Well, he didn't take the hint, and I sorta got mad at him. Now he feels bad, but I can't bring myself to face him 'cause I'm embarrassed."

"I'm sorry, Myra," Michaela said, shaking her head. "I'm sure you'll work things out sooner or later." Myra nodded.

"I think you're right. I overheard some of the fellas talkin'. They were sayin' that Hank's thinkin' of takin' a day or so off next month." She smiled a little. "I feel bad, but I'm so tired of never getting to spend time with him."

"I understand," Michaela replied. She let herself smile a little. Myra put her hand over Michaela's.

"When will ya be comin' back to town?"

"I'm not sure," Michaela replied. "Possibly in a couple of weeks."

"If ya wanna tell me what's goin' on, I'll be here to listen." Michaela took a deep breath, knowing that she could trust Myra. Myra wasn't one to spread gossip, and Michaela knew she could tell her this delicate piece of news. She sucked in a sharp breath.

"I may have had a miscarriage," she whispered. Myra's jaw dropped a little, and her eyes went wide.

"I didn't even know you were expectin', Dr. Mike. That's awful! I'm so sorry," Myra whispered.

"Please don't say anything to anyone. Grace knows, and so does my family, but I'm not ready to talk about it with anyone else yet."

"'Course I won't say nothin'. You can count on me." Michaela took Myra's hand in hers and gripped it for a moment.

"Thank you."

"When did this happen?"

"Last Saturday," Michaela replied, breathing heavily. "I didn't experience any bleeding, but I'm not sure if the baby survived or not."

"Oh, Dr. Mike, I'm so sorry. When will you know for sure?"

"Well, I'm still experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy, but it could be false hopes. I'll know for sure in a couple of weeks or so."

"Is there anything I can do to help you and Sully out?" Myra asked softly. Michaela sighed heavily.

"I'm afraid there's nothing that any of us can do but wait."

"Well, if it'd help, me and Hank can take the kids to our place for a couple days."

"Thank you Myra, but, I need to be with my family now."

"I understand," Myra replied softly. The sound of the downstairs door opening got their attention. "Sounds like their home."

"Yes," Michaela replied with a distant smile.

"I best be getting into town. Don't worry though. I won't say anything about this."

"Thank you for sitting with me, Myra," Michaela replied gratefully.

"Hey, it was no problem. I'll come visit again real soon. I'll tell the folks in town that you just ain't feelin' up to comin' into town. Colleen's doin' a real fine job of helping people. Ain't heard no complaints yet."

"That's good," Michaela replied softly. "Thank you again." Myra nodded and left the room. Michaela looked into the picnic basket and found some of Grace's meatloaf. Michaela felt her stomach growl, and her mouth started to water. She began to eat, and just as she was finishing up, Sully came into the room with a fresh cup of tea.

"Hey. How was your visit with Myra?"

"It was good," Michaela replied softly. "I told her what's going on. She looked so worried, and I couldn't keep it bottled in.

"That's understandable." Michaela accepted the cup of tea, but took only a sip before she set it aside.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sick of sitting in bed. I've done nothing but that since last Saturday."

"I know," Sully replied, "but it won't be much longer."

"Sully, listen to me, I need to get out of this bed. Just for a few minutes. I need to stand up and stretch my legs."

"Is that safe?"

"I've never heard of stretching to be fatal," Michaela replied with a sarcastic smirk. Sully knew Michaela was moody, and she knew that was because their child was still safe and healthy inside of her. However, Michaela was the doctor, and if she was recommending getting out of bed for a few minutes, he knew he couldn't refuse her that right. This woman who was naturally dependent, was helplessly confined to lying in bed all day and night with nothing to do but relax.

"Alright," Sully replied with a slight smile. He helped Michaela get out of bed, and once she was standing, she had to grab Sully's arm to keep from falling. "Michaela?"

"I'm just a little dizzy."

"You should get back in bed."

"No, no, I'm just dizzy because I haven't been up and about for a week. Just give me a moment." Michaela leaned her head on Sully's shoulder for a minute, trying to let her nausea pass. Once she was feeling better, she began to walk around the room. Sully never took his eyes off of her seeing as he was concerned about her and the baby. He knew Michaela was too, but he didn't blame her for needing to get up and move around for a little bit. "Sully?" she asked him a few moments later.

"Yeah?"

"I'd like to go downstairs and see the children."

"Ya can't climb down the stairs. The kids can come up here."

"Sully, I really want to go sit downstairs and relax by the fire," Michaela replied, her eyes pleading with him, though she knew that it wasn't a good idea to go down the stairs in her current condition. She was silently hoping Sully would offer to carry her down, though she didn't want to ask.

As if he was reading her mind, Sully scooped her up into his arms and started out into the hall. Michaela's arms craned around Sully's neck as he carried her downstairs. Michaela felt like an invalid or something. She couldn't do anything right now as it could endanger the baby, which she wasn't altogether certain was still alive. But she had to keep hoping. That's what she had been doing for the past week.

"Ma!" Brian said happily. Sully placed Michaela down in a chair in front of the fire.

"Hello," Michaela replied with a beaming smile. Sully noticed how Michaela's face lit up when she saw her children.

"How are you feelin'?" Colleen asked.

"Much better," she replied with a grin. "How were things in town?"

"Good. I had to stitch up Reverend Johnson's finger, 'cause he cut it tryin' to fix a broken rail on the church steps. Everything else seemed fine."

"I bought some gumdrops at Mr. Bray's store," Brian said with a smile. Colleen rolled her eyes.

"And I had to give him something for that stomach ache he got after eating all of it."

"Brian, what have I told you about eating too much candy?" Michaela scolded.

"I know," he replied. "But I couldn't help it! He was sellin' 'em half price."

"Loren was?" Michaela asked with mild shock in her voice.

"Yeah. He said the candy was getting stale and nobody was buyin' it. I didn't think it was bad though." Michaela laughed again, and Sully noticed how much better Michaela seemed to feel by merely being in the same room with the children. Maybe her not being in bed right now was the best thing. They still needed to be cautious, but things seemed to be going well so far. He didn't think there was any reason to think otherwise.

Connor started to cry upstairs, and Sully snapped out of his concentration long enough to go get him. Michaela hadn't been feeling well enough to nurse the boys for the past week, so Sully had been getting them acquainted with other solids, and the boys were starting to accept those as a substitute for their mother's breast. Michaela felt as if she had let her boys down by not giving them the proper nutrition they were entitled to. But, Sully was taking care of getting them accustomed to meats and vegetables. Much to everyone's surprise, both boys liked their vegetables, when they were mashed into soft solids of course.

"Ma?" Colleen asked as she sat down to peel apples for the apple pie she wanted to make for dessert.

"Hmm?" Michaela asked as she watched her daughter's movements.

"When will you and pa know for sure about the baby?" Colleen asked.

"Hopefully within a week or two," Michaela replied softly, knowing she couldn't shy away from her children's questions. She always tried to be honest with them, and sometimes, painfully so.

"I think the baby's alright," Matthew spoke up. Michaela glanced over at him. "You're still feelin' sick, you're tire, and you're still . . ."

"Moody!" Brian chimed in.

"Brian!" Colleen scolded.

"Oh right, I wasn't supposed to say that." On the way home from town, the children had talked about how they were supposed to make their mother feel better. Moody was one of the words Brian was instructed not to use. Michaela had to grin at her son's blunt honesty.

"You're right. I have been moody lately," she replied. "We'll have to wait and see." Michaela sighed heavily, and the children felt bad about bringing up the subject. But, Michaela knew that it had to be discussed, and she didn't want her children to feel like they had to be on their toes while around her. "It's alright. I don't want you children to be afraid to ask questions. If this has indeed happened, it's a part of life."

"But it ain't fair," Brian replied.

"I know," Michaela replied.

"Ma, you're a doctor," Matthew said softly. "Why don't you know for sure?"

"I suppose I do know," Michaela admitted, not knowing that Sully was now standing on the bottom step of the stairs with Connor in his arms. Brian looked at his mother curiously.

"You do?"

"Your father is certain that the baby's alright, and he's not even the one carrying it," she chuckled a little. "I know in my heart that everything is alright, but I suppose my brain is trying to be smart and prepare for the worst. I keep talking myself out of hoping too much, but my body and my heart are both telling me that everything is fine and that I should relax and not worry. The truth is, a mother always worries about her children, no matter if they're five or thirty or not even born yet. Worrying is what I'm best at right now, I suppose."

"I'm sure everything's fine, ma," Colleen said with a smile.

Sure enough, May brought happy news for all. Michaela's belly began to expand, and everyone was relieved that the Sully baby was still safe inside its mother. The townsfolk now knew of the doctor's condition, and she was back to work, making sutures, cleansing wounds and making people feel better.

Sully was going back to the reservation daily, and the children were getting ready for a break from school for the summer. Matthew was getting more and more frustrated, because he was trying to keep his grades high enough to get accepted to a university in Denver. He and Ingrid were officially engaged and planning to marry in August. Ingrid had already made plans for her brother Jon to take care of their little sisters while she and Matthew moved to Denver. She promised him they would take care of the girls once Matthew was finished with college and law school, which would probably take a total of eight to ten years.

Michaela would get emotional every time Matthew would mention going off to school. She knew he had to do it, and she was happy that he was going to further his education, but she was also very sad that her oldest son was going away. She felt that she hadn't had enough time with him yet. He wouldn't even be there when his little brother or sister was born.

Sully had already begun making another cradle. He had made one for when Early Sun was there, but it didn't feel right giving it to another baby. Early Sun still had a place in their hearts and in their home, though she was back with her true parents.

He was only making one new cradle for the time being, though he was still convinced that his wife was going to have twins again. She was barely in her second month and showing the tiniest bit. He didn't want to say that to her though, because her mood swings would surely fly through the roof for that one. He was certain she would accuse him of calling her fat.

The cravings would come and go throughout the weeks, but every time Michaela would have one, it would be something that Sully could barely stomach. He had seen people eating garbage off of the streets before, and he had been able to handle that, but when Michaela mixed milk, stew, and apple jam into a bowl to eat, that was just too much. This was just the beginning, he was sure, because Michaela's cravings seemed to get worse throughout the pregnancy with the boys.

It was a sunny Wednesday, and the children were at school, working through their last unit of the year. They would be getting a couple of months off once the end of May hit, and they would start back to school in September.

Michaela had gone along with Sully to the reservation. They had planned to bring Connor and Daniel, who were two very happy, lively eight month olds, but their plans had changed for their own protection

Cloud Dancing was off on a vision quest, and Snow Bird was left tending to Early Sun who had developed an illness. Michaela knew she had to be careful with the boys, seeing as they were so young, and their immune systems weren't very strong yet.

Michaela and Sully were as worried as parents could be about the little girl. They considered her to be a daughter to them, though her rightful parents were Cloud Dancing and Early Sun. Cloud Dancing was considered to be the children's Cheyenne father, because they learned things from him that they couldn't learn from anyone else. Cloud Dancing had expressed his interest in having Michaela and Sully teach Early Sun some of their ways, though she would only practice Cheyenne customs.

"I hope Early Sun's alright," Michaela said softly as the wagon rounded a bend and drew closer to the reservation.

"I'm sure you'll get her fixed up just fine."

"From what Cloud Dancing told me, it sounds as if she's suffering from some sort of food poisoning. But that can't be possible."

"Why not?"

"Snow Bird is still breastfeeding her, and the only other food she's eaten has been eaten by some of the other Cheyenne. None of them are sick."

"Maybe it ain't food poisonin'," Sully replied.

"The symptoms could be of influenza, but I won't know for sure until I give her a proper examination."

"This ain't somethin' that will harm you or the baby is it?" Sully asked apprehensively.

"It doesn't sound to be," Michaela replied. "I highly doubt it's influenza, because none of the other Cheyenne are sick with the same symptoms."

"I just want ya to be careful," Sully warned.

"Sully, I'm a doctor, and I never know when I'm going to come into contact with a contagious person. That's a risk I take everyday, and thank God I've had several vaccinations against diseases in the past. I suppose that's something I've done to contribute to the health of our child." Sully gently reached over to put his hand on Michaela's slight bump. "And since we've gotten married, I've given you those same vaccinations along with the children."

They reached the reservation about fifteen minutes later. Snow Bird was standing outside of he teepee with Early Sun in her arms. The child was dressed in nothing but a pair of tiny leather moccasins. Snow Bird was dripping water over her belly, trying to keep her cool. She had developed a terrible fever.

"Medicine Woman, thank you for coming," Snow Bird said gratefully. Michaela nodded and gestured for them to go inside of the teepee. She and Sully joined the Cheyenne woman with the child inside of their home. Michaela took Early Sun into her arms.

"Hello little one," she whispered. The nearly one-year-old looked up at Michaela and smiled a little, recognizing her. But her smile quickly faded and she began to scream as her fever began to escalate. Michaela took her temperature, and a look of alarm appeared on her face.

"Is it bad?"

"She doesn't have all of the symptoms of influenza, and that's good news. But the bad news is that her temperature is almost fatally high."

"Can you save her?" Snow Bird asked softly, tears forming in her eyes.

"I want her to come into the clinic for further testing."

"Will she survive the ride into town?" Sully wondered. Michaela swallowed hard.

"I'm not sure," she whispered. "It seems as if some kind of bacteria has begun to form. Her belly is slightly distended as if she was malnourished, but that isn't the case. I believe she has poison or bacteria of some sort in her system. I can give her medicines to try to get rid of it, but she's so young, and her immune system is very weak now."

"How did this happen?" Snow Bird asked, taking her little girl into her arms.

"What has she eaten in the past twenty four hours?"

"Only milk, the little she could keep down."

"The last time she kept it down, had you had anything to eat?"

"Just beef."

"Beef?" Sully wondered. "How did the hunting party find beef when the buffalo are being killed off by the railroad?" Snow Bird looked away.

"If you're protecting someone, this could mean life or death for Early Sun." Snow Bird sighed heavily.

"The Dog Soldiers stole a cow from a farm nearby."

"The nearest farm is the Garvey Ranch. Old Ike Garvey tends to poison his older cows out in the pasture in case they're stolen."

"Then why am I not ill?"

"It's possible that the bacteria didn't effect you or there was so little that your immune system could fight it off. You have permitted me to give you some vaccinations, but Early Sun hasn't had any of those. Her immune system is much weaker, and if that bacteria passed through your milk, it would have passed into her."

"I did this to my daughter?" Snow Bird asked, horrified. Michaela pulled out a spoon and gently poured some sort of medicine into it. She gave it to the baby and looked at Snow Bird.

"What can we do for her?" Snow Bird asked.

"Make her comfortable," Michaela replied. "I see now that she is much too weak to survive a trip into town."

"We can't just let her die," Sully spoke up. "There has to be some kind of herb or . . ."

"Please do something for her! I do not want to lose another child!" Snow Bird pleaded. Michaela's heart went out to her. She knew exactly how the Cheyenne woman felt. Just a couple of week ago, she had thought she'd lost one of her children, and she felt as if she was losing a child this time as well. Early Sun had been a part of their home for several months.

"Keep giving her water," Michaela said slowly. "Perhaps we can flush the bacteria out. Other than that, there is not much I can do except administer this medicine every hour. The three sat with the child the rest of the afternoon in evening, praying that Early Sun would survive this terrible sickness.

Michaela and Sully returned to the homestead late that night. Colleen, Brian, and the twins had been sleeping for hours, while Matthew had stayed up to work on his studies. Wolf and Pup were sprawled out in front of the door, and when Sully pushed it open, he scooted both dogs along slowly.

Michaela walked in ahead of him, and put her medical bag down on the table. Matthew looked up at them with tired eyes.

"How's Early Sun?"

"She pulled through, thank God," Michaela whispered. "But she was lucky. We nearly lost her."

"Thank God ya didn't," Matthew replied.

"It's late."

"I know. I'm almost finished."

"I'm exhausted, so will you put out the lamps when you go up to bed?" Michaela asked.

"Sure ma," he replied, kissing her cheek. "G'nite, Sully."
"Night, Matthew," Sully answered, putting his hand on the small of Michaela's back and following her upstairs. Once they were in their room, they removed their clothes, changed, and crawled into bed. Michaela hadn't been feeling very romantic lately, and Sully didn't blame her. Plus, he was afraid to touch her because of what had happened just a couple of short weeks ago. Both of them knew that this phase would pass, and they could take comfort in each other's arms.

"C'mere," Sully whispered, pulling his arms around his wife. "You doin' alright?"

"Mmm," she whispered, resting her head on his chest. "Thank you for standing by me today. I think having you there helped me."

"How's that?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "But having you there with me seemed to give me some reassurance that it was going to be alright. Those few crazy weeks that I spent wondering and hoping wouldn't have been easy if you hadn't been there. I'm not saying it was easy by any means, but it helped to know that you were certain everything was alright."

"And I was right, wasn't I?"

"Thank God you were." Michaela let out a yawn, and Sully stroked her soft hair. "You still think you're right about the baby, don't you?"
"Yep," Sully replied with a chuckle. Michaela shook her head and smiled a little.

"Well, if it's true, you better get started on another cradle." Michaela put her hand on her belly. "Oh Sully, I still can't believe it."

"Believe it," Sully replied, leaning in to kiss her soft lips. "'Cause it's happenin'. In about seven months, we're gonna be parents again."

"You're right," Michaela replied, relaxing in Sully's arms again. "I always wanted a family like this, Sully, but I never imagined how wonderful it could be." She smiled a little at her memories.

"What?" Michaela bit her bottom lip.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"C'mon. Tell me?"

"Well, alright. It's silly though, so I'm warning you now."

"Try me." Sully sat up in bed, and Michaela sat up beside him. She had an amused look in her eyes, so he knew that this was something he hadn't heard before.

"Well, before I met you, I was always focusing on my career as a doctor, and I never had time to make plans to have a family. But at night, or sometimes when I couldn't concentrate, a thought would always slip into my mind."

"What kinda thought?" Michaela's eyes sparkled as she related this story.

"I always thought, or perhaps I wished it, I'm not quite sure. I would wish that a man from far away would come and sweep me off into the mountains. I guess my wish came true."

"And are ya satisfied now that it's come true?" Michaela turned to face him, putting her hand gently against his cheek.

"More and more so each day," she whispered. She placed a gentle kiss upon his lips. When she pulled away and looked into his eyes, she saw so much love that it nearly overpowered her. She wanted to make love with him now, more than ever, but she wasn't sure what Sully would think. He had been so gentle with her since the near-miscarriage, and she understood why. He was worried about both her and the baby, and frankly, so was she. But she was worried about her husband too. She didn't want him to feel neglected. "Sully, I'm sorry I haven't been feeling romantic lately. I've just been so tired from all of that rest I've gotten." She laughed softly and traced her finger along Sully's jaw line. She missed Sully, and she needed to convince him that this was going to be fine. Sully pulled her hand away and kissed it tenderly.

"That's alright. You gotta rest," he replied softly. "We don't have to do this yet."

"But," she started. Sully pulled her into a kiss.

"Don't worry. I ain't feelin' neglected or anything."

"I'm glad to hear that," she replied, thinking he had taken the words right out of her head. "But, I've been missing you." She felt her cheeks grow hot and looked away. Sully smiled a little. "I'm not going to stoop so low as to beg." She gathered back the bed sheets and got out of bed, storming across the room to add another log to the fire. Sully knew Michaela's hormones were on edge, and he knew she was now upset with him.

"Michaela . . ."

"I'm not going to break, Sully! I'm fine, and so is the baby."

"I don't doubt that, Michaela. I'm just worried 'bout ya is all."

"Maybe it isn't that. Maybe I'm just getting too fat!" she exclaimed, tears on the edge of her eyes. Sully jumped out of bed and hurried over to the fireplace. He pulled Michaela around gently to face him.

"Hey, you listen to me. You ain't fat. You're beautiful, and you know it. Michaela, how many times do I gotta tell ya that I think you're the most amazing, beautiful woman I've ever met?"

"No I'm not," she whispered. Sully tilted her chin up so he could look into his wife's beautiful eyes.

"Yes you are. Don't ever let yourself thing otherwise." He pulled Michaela into a smoldering kiss, and a few moments later, they were wrapped into each other's arms, tumbling towards the bed. Sully pulled away for a moment. "You sure the baby's fine?"

"I'm sure," Michaela whispered, biting her bottom lip.

"Please tell me if you start to feel bad, Michaela." Michaela pulled Sully into another kiss, and he gently laid her upon the bed. How could she feel bad when she was in the arms of the man she loved?