Orange Fun Explosion Girl
By Hiro Konobu
I'm surprised no one thought of this idea before at the time. (Just hope I don't crap it up) Any way this is about Kaori Nishidake's side job in SSX Tricky, and if it was real so here it is, and I don't own anything...and yes I know about the name error but I was tired when doing this the first time.
(Place: Nagano, Japan Kaori is just waking up from her sleep, albeit her mom is.)
"Wake up from your sleep now or you you'll be late for school."
"Give me fifteen more minutes' mom ok."
(Kaori's Mom goes into Kaori's room and wakes her up abruptly)
(Typical anime demonic yell) "WAKE UP NOW DAUGHTER!"
(Now very much up) "Okay, Okay."
(Later at breakfast)
"So how was your rest?"
"It was good dad, but mom messed it up."
"Crazy mom wake up services at your service Kaori."
"Right…also had a decent dream too."
"Was it about that transfer student again?"
(Tries to strangle her sister but restrains herself) "No I wasn't if you know it was something else."
"Don't try to strangle your sister...that's my job."
(Sort of confused) "Okay I'm off to school then."
(On the walk to school)
(Feeling a little tired) "Mom next time don't wake me up so early...you crazy psychobitch." (Bumps into a person) "Sorry about that."
(The person who is much bigger than Kaori) "What did you call me?"
(Kaori is scared at this point) "I didn't mean you."
"Yeah right wimp." (Starts to attack Kaori but a small wolf pops up out of nowhere and attacks him)
"...Well that was weird." (Runs off to school, and the wolf was finished beating up that person who was about to beat up Kaori...)
"Her aura...it might be the reincarnated version of our queen."
(At School)
(Panting) "Barely made it."
(her teacher was behind her yelling) "NO YOU DID NOT!"
(Kaori got scared, and said nothing)
"As punishment I want you to stand out side for 20 minutes acting hyper while holding two water buckets."
(Now acting a little OOC for the next couple of lines) "Darn you teacher, but if you must I will try to break through the threshold of water bucket holding."
(5 minutes later)
"Still going strong."
(10 minutes later)
"This is just redundant."
(15 minutes later)
"Come on arms don't fail me now."
(19 minutes and 48 seconds later)
(The arms are starting to fall apart) "Oh no don't go to jello on me you stupid arms nooooo…" (When she said that 11 seconds later the buckets dropped)
(Looking at a stopwatch that read 19 minutes and 59 seconds) "That was fun for a bit, and hey JBL come in for a sec."
"Yes purdy lady."
"Could you throw yourself off the top of this eight story building?"
"Why sure I will purdy lady." (5 minutes later he is on the top of the building ready to jump) "I know this is dumb but no one will ever like me, and my manservant Orlando Jordan and the Yaoi-ish things we like to do, but here goes." (Jumps off the building and lands with a loud thud and huge pool of blood comes out of him, Just then Orlando Jordan comes out of nowhere)
"No take me instead, and life isn't worth living without you or any other member of the cabinet." (Kills himself with a Northern Star.)
(Out of nowhere) "Great...now my Northern Star has been defiled." (Picks up weapon) "Now back to trying to get Kilik to like me."
"So Kaori, How are you doing after that time spent holding buckets of water?"
(Back to standard style) "Just give me 10 minutes to recover my arm strength."
(Bell Rings)
"Well I leave you to your lunch and all so I'll see you after lunch."
(Kaori who is trying to eat, but her hand was still recovering from that earlier stint.) "Damn those buckets, and...(Noticing she has no food) I have no food." (Just then that transfer student comes up to her)
"Hello Kaori want some of my food."
"Of course Mac-Kun."
"Okay." (Shares his food with Kaori)
"So how have you been doing?"
"Okay, and still trying to keep a constant groove every day."
"I see."
"Kaori? How do you think you did on your test?"
"I probably just passed it."
"Hope so."
(Bell rings)
"Got to go Kaori I'll catch up with you later."
"Same thing here."
(Back in class)
"Now remember those tests you took yesterday, and I have the results...
(Another anime demonic yell) YOU ALL FAILED, retest tomorrow."
"Shoot how low did I score? (Gets paper, and is shocked by the score)
"A...12...(Yells) Noooooo!"
(Later walking down the street)
"Shoot...how am I going to explain this to the family? (Looks at an
arcade) I'll worry about it after a game of Top Skater."
(An hour later)
"That was a good run with top skater, anyway back to brooding about my low score on that test."
(At an electronics store the TV's are broadcasting some news)
"Attacks in the Kitsuhabra area of Nagano have been reported, and people are advised to stay out of that area or go with someone who can fight, and not to play Shadow Ops: Red Mercury."
"Interesting bits, and again why is the author referencing a certain typical bad game from Atari...again?" "Oh well."
(Kaori walks along the street till she finds that same wolf getting cornered by a dog)
(Shocked) "That same wolf that helped me earlier...time to return the
favor." (Grabs a stick, and starts to chase said dog, and it runs off)
"Thank you, and I'll see you again later, who knows maybe even at your house." (Runs off)
"To say it again from the first couple of lines...weird."
(Later at home)
Hi mom, how are you doing?"
"Good, and sit down I want to talk about this test you had today"
(Scared and Stuttering) "yyy-eee-ssss...mm-mm-oooo-oo-mm-mmmm?"
"What did at do you get?"
"A..12..."
(Yelling as loud as she can get) "WHAT HOW DARE MY ELDEST DAUGHTER GET A 12 ON THAT TEST!" (Out of yelling) "you're grounded till the next month comes up, and study for the retake."
(Slightly brooding) "Okay."
(In her room)
"Why did I have to get a 12 on that test...oh well I guess the good thing
was that it wasn't one shot thrills for that test."
(Suddenly that same wolf that saved Kaori appears in her window)
"Hello Kaori."
(Surprised) "I guess you weren't kidding when you said that you would show up."
"That's true, and you can call me Sketch...though not to be confused with the Comix Zone Sketch...he's currently in Mexico getting himself drunk with Alyssa and his rat Roadkill, and check this out."
"Okay."
(Sketch pulls out a TV with a news report of the situation)
"It's mass chaos here in Kitsuhabra district, and that it is."
(Laughs) "All of you suck unlike me in which I don't." (Laughs again, then messes up the feed)
(End clip)
"That was short."
"The transmission got interrupted like an interrupting pirate."
"So what now?"
"I have to give you this." (Gives Kaori the obligatory magical girl
transformation device)
"What's this?"
"It's the Orange pen that will allow you to transform into the orange fun explosion girl."
(Somehow willingly accepts) "Now what do I say to become this orange fun explosion girl."
"Just say Orange Flash Power."
(Willingly goes along with it) "Okay orange flash power." (Just as she says this the typical fanservice style transformation goes on, after this is done we see yet another seifukued girl with lots of orange and white trim on the skirt and top area with orange boots, and Sketch with a huge nosebleed)
(Trying to hide his said nosebleed but failing miserably) "Oh yes the infamous Magical girl transformation...nudity abound."
(Punching Sketch) "Why did you watch you pervert?
"I'm a guy I have to watch it Kaori."
"Enough of this I have too go down there and beat up a clone of Kurt Angle."
"How do you know who the enemy is?"
"Mac-kun has been telling me about the WWE in America and its idiots like the Hassan dude, Kurt Angle, JBL, and the whiney little bitch Edge."
"Let's just go there already before we screw up the story as much as we already had."
(At the Kitsuhabra District)
"Now it's time for me to make sure that everyone sucks more than me."
(Cue evil laughter)
(A voice comes from out of nowhere)
"Stop making everyone suck, you already suck too much."
"Who the hell are you?"
"The Orange Fun Explosion Girl, who else...Sketch what else should I say?"
"I don't know."
"I don't know who the hell you are but I will make you suck horribly, go my suckiness, attack the badly parodied magical girl."
"Let's see Sketch any moves I should have?"
"Take this controller, and press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start." (Hands Kaori the controller)
(She presses the combination of buttons) "Hey nothing happened though I think someone got thirty lives, and thirty continues in contra."
(Snickering) "That was for earlier."
"This no time for jokes the suckiness is right on us." (Kaori starts to scream, but a mysterious person comes up and saves her) "Who are you?"
"I am the Lemon Striker." (Who also looks a little like Mac)
"Well fell free to feel the suck as well."
"(Doges out of the way) Orange you must use fun orange attack on him."
"My orange what?"
"It's a small beam attack you fire out of an orange."
"It's weird but it just might work." "Fun orange attack." (The beam fires out and kills Kurt, and he doesn't say a thing) "Say Lemon you look like someone I know, but who could it be?"
"Maybe Mac the exchange student."
"You do look like him." (She starts to kiss him but an alarm sounds waking her up) "Damn it two things: 1. Tell Dad to lessen production of my anime show, and 2. To tell Mac about my dream."
(Later)
"Hey Kaori what's up?"
"You ever have a weird dream?"
"No. Why?"
"Had a dream about it last night...you were in it, and there was a lot of
magical girl, and WWE parodies in it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and you were in it too."
"Now that is freaky."
"Wonder what could have happened next..."
End One-Shot