Disclaimer: I own nothing! If I did, this would be an actual episode and I would be a lot more famous.

Spoilers: Nothing specific except for 'Chosen'.

A/N: In this fic, Anya did not die. If I get positive feedback, I'm going to go on with this and make it a post-Chosen which will have Audrey as a main character but will not be centred solely on her. If I go on, more of the story will be revealed (as in what happened after 'Chosen', where everyone is etc.). So, if you want to see this continued, you have to review (review even if you don't want more chapters! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!)

The last time they'd been to a hospital, they had just made the whole town of Sunnydale cave in on itself and had several major stab wounds and a couple broken bones to take care of. The occasion this time was definitely much more pleasant. Pleasant to the amount of ten.

Watching her reflection on the linoleum floor, Buffy thought of how quickly things had changed. Exactly a year and 43 days ago, she was busy chopping some ugly ubervamp's head off with her cool little scythe. Here she was, 430 days later, in a waiting room decorated with little paper teddy bear hangers in Cleveland Memorial Hospital waiting for Anya's little baby girl. Not to mention Andrew was dating. Wow.

She looked up to see said nerd and Dawn thumb wrestling, and Will and Giles discussing a different method of approaching diffident Slayers, her Watcher sipping some drinks-machine tea disgustedly. A second later, Xander burst in through the double door.

'She's here! She's fine!' were the first words out of his mouth. Willow beamed at him and jumped up to hug him tight. Dawn and Andrew squealed in delight, Buffy hugged Xander even tighter than Willow had and Giles shook his hand.

'Congratulations,' said the Watcher.

'I'm a Dad! I'm a Dad! Can you believe I'm a Dad?' Xander squeaked, all the time jumping around excitedly and moving his hands much in 'Dance of Capitalist Superiority' style (but without the actual money).

'Yes, yes, we are well aware of that, now could you please show us to your wife and daughter, Xander?' The 'just-father' stopped in mid-twirl.

'What? Oh, yeah. My wife and daughter,' Xander mumbled, slightly embarrassed. As he led them all down the hall, he turned around to face Giles and whispered gleefully: 'I'm a Dad! A parent!' Behind them, Dawn and Buffy succumbed to a fit of giggles, whilst Willow tried her best to keep a straight face. Andrew just watched Xander with a strange expression. 'Such a good man,' he said solemnly, his head cocked to one side.

They got to Anya and the baby's room soon enough. The nurse was friendly. She said she'd allow them all to stay inside as much as they wanted, even though it was a little crowded. Willow suspected this had something to do with the way the nurse was eyeing Xander's forearms. She had, after all, done so herself many times. Women all seemed to have a bit of a weak spot with Xander's manly forearms.

'Aw! Isn't she the cutest little thing!' Buffy exclaimed as she sat right next to the bed and began playing with the baby's tiny hand.

'Wow… She's so small! She's like a miniature person! And look! She's got Xander-eyes!' At this, Anya's eyes widened with horror. 'No! my child is going to have beady eyes!' she thought, panicking.

Dawn continued, unaware of the slight commotion she had caused in Anya. 'Have you decided what you're gonna call her?' she asked, from her seat on the other side of the bed.

Anya looked up at her. 'I was thinking Anyanka would b-'

'What?' Giles spluttered, a few droplets of his tea flying out of his mouth. He quickly tried to cover up. 'I-I mean, this tea, it's, uh, not like tea. Yes. Sorry. Please continue.'

'Giles, what are you saying?' Willow exclaimed, outraged. 'Anyanka is definitely not a viable option for a name! I mean, are we crazy here? It's got a 'k' in it!' This got her some majorly weird stares. 'Right, so that isn't such a big deal, all right, I mean Xander's got an 'x' in it, right? So yeah, I guess, but see a 'k', it's just weird and strange, and maybe not 'cause so many names have 'k's in them and I'm going to stop now 'cause I'm scaring myself. Right. Sorry.'

'Thank you for your useless monologue,' Anya beamed at Willow, as the witch grinned sheepishly back. 'As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted twice, I was thinking,' she said, emphasizing the 'thinking', 'that Anyanka would be a nice name, but since I do not want my child to be victimised and tormented by other little annoyances of her age due to an unusual yet beautifully charming name, I decided upon "Audrey". And don't look at Xander, he doesn't get any say in this at all.' Anya ended happily. Xander just shrugged.

'Well, you know, we decided beforehand. She gets to name the girls, I get to name the boys.'

'Yes. We are going to make more. More puffy little pink humans for Anya and Xander! And they're all going to be girls so I can name them all! If they're boys, we can always trade them for cash. Like in that game. What's it called Xander?'

'Honey, you change the rules for that game every time we play it. You can't trade the babies for cash.'

'Oh. Then we'll just have to settle with the silly names you come up with!'

'What? I'm not the one who thought of An-'

'SO, Anya, why did you choose Audrey?' Giles asked the new mother, taking care to raise his voice high enough to override Xander's.

'Oh, you know, I was watching old American movies and I saw Audrey Hepburn. She was very beautiful. And I like her name.'

'Of course! Audrey Hepburn! Who could ever forget her? What an amazing woman this was! Always different, a truly free spirit, her turbulent love story with Spencer Tracy making her all the more interesting! Ah, the beauty, the charisma, the talent! Unforgettable are her Academy Award-winning appearances in numerous motion pictures; Morning Glory, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, On Golden Pon-'

'Andrew, stop a sec…isn't that Katharine Hepburn?' Buffy interrupted with a slight frown.

'Katharine's got a 'k' in it…' Willow murmured, caught up in her own world.

'Kath- Of course!' he replied, chuckling nervously. 'Of course it is! Did you think I could make such a mistake? Obviously I was simply testing you all, and I am deeply saddened that it was not you, Rupert, to spot my obvious trick! I would expect a man of your age and experience to know a little bit more about great women! Tut-tut!' At this, Giles simply removed his glasses to scrub them furiously, whilst Andrew gave the others a pompous nod and Buffy a knowing wink.

By now, Willow had managed to come out of her world. 'So,' she said slowly, trying to bring the conversation back to a level normal people would call sane. 'Audrey, huh? Audrey Harris,' she said, trying the sound. Catching Anya's look, she said: 'O-or Audrey Jenkins-Harris. Well, Anya, I've got to give you that, it's a beautiful name. I am kinda surprised, though.'

'Surprised?'

'Yes. I mean, knowing you, I'd have expected you to name her, I don't know… Rugged Individualism Jenkins-Harris?' Giles and Dawn chuckled appreciatively at Willow's joke, whilst Anya frowned, looking offended. Xander and Buffy, however, looked blank.

'I would appreciate it if you stopped making jokes about my political beliefs. Not that I didn't think of giving my daughter such a lovely name, but I realised she might resent it if she grew up to be, D'Hoffryn forbid, a Democrat.'

'It's not a swear word, Anya! Anyway, isn't it the being victimised and tormented by other children that worried you?'

Anya dismissed the suggestion with a: 'Hmph. Of course not. Why should she be victimised for that?'

'Guys, excuse me. I didn't get the rugged individualism thing. You all laughed and I didn't. I feel stupid when everybody laughs and I don't. Could you explain for the non-intellectual population?' This question owned Buffy an superior look from Dawn.

'Did you ever actually go to history class?'

Both Buffy and Xander scoffed in unison. 'Are you crazy? History class is for sad people-'

'And you should always go because it's, uh, useful and, uh, interesting,' Buffy quickly cut in. 'Right Xander?'

'Of course! Only sad people don't take history!'

'He's a very unconvincing liar,' Anya told Dawn, who raised an eyebrow. 'Now could everybody please start paying attention to me again? Thank you. I'm the one who's had a stranger pushing down on her uterus for four hours and a 3 and a half kilo thing come out of her in three pushes, so I think me and the thing deserve to be the centre of attention. Am I right Xander? I'm not asking for too much, am I?'

'No honey,' he said softly, and pecked her forehead.

'Thank you. I wanted to tell you the other reason I chose Audrey as the name for my- our, little girl. If she's Audrey, she can have the most wonderful and sweet endearing little nickname: Aud!' Anya exclaimed, in a state of complete happiness.

Buffy snorted. '"Aud"?' she smirked. 'What kind of a nickname is "Aud"?'

Dawn mouthed an 'Oops' to Giles who sighed and resigned himself to watch some more bickering.

Anya's face, instead, was a mask of pure indignation.

'Excuse me?' she almost yelled. 'I don't see how you can even express an opinion on the matter. What kind of a nickname is "Buffy"?'

'Oh dear,' Giles stated in a barely audible whisper. Willow and Dawn were both fighting furiously to hold back the waves of mirth which were threatening to break loose any moment.

'"Buffy" is not a nickname, Anya! You've known me for how long now, five years? And you still don't know that it's my real name?' Buffy yelled, completely outraged.

'Well, I never thought such an ugly 5-letter word could actually be a proper name!'

'Oh God…' Xander sighed, his head in his hands. The bomb had been dropped, and Buffy flushed in fury, her hands squeezed dangerously in fists.

'Well, geez, now I'm offended, Anya. That's a bit rich coming from you, isn't it?'

'For your information, Buffy, my name contains only four letters,' the ex-demon said smugly.

Buffy spluttered incoherently, at a loss on how to answer such an undeniable argument. Willow decided she just couldn't hold laughter back any longer unless she said something.

'Technically, your name is seven letters long.'

'Yes, well, luckily I am not a crazy person who sees invisible letters where there aren't any! Please stay out of this argument, Willow, it is strictly between me and Buffy.'

'Hey, I'm not a crazy person! And, hello, you're forgetting your own name! A-N-Y-A-N-K-A!' said Willow, counting each of the letters with her fingers as she said them separately. Then, she held her two hands up, her right hand completely open (as in 'five') and her left completely closed except her thumb and index finger. The total was quite obviously and undeniably a seven. Willow grinned behind her outstretched arms, and Buffy wore a triumphant expression, although technically, Willow's establishing of 'Anyanka' being formed of seven letters did not score any points in her favour for the argument.

Anya also found herself spluttering incoherently after Willow's undeniable assertion.

'Well, I'm certainly glad we got that settled!' Giles declared, finally placing his glasses back where they belonged after having worn them thin.

'Oh yes!' Xander heartily agreed. 'I'm going to call the nurse now, before any of you ladies start arguing again and make Audrey cry.'

Anya looked up at him and smiled. 'You called her Audrey!' She lifted Audrey up, or rather pulled Xander down, and took her little fist to point towards him. 'See, little one? That's your daddy! Daaa-ddy. He is fit and well-built!' she stated as if it were the most vital piece of information in the world.

'Oooh, be careful Anya, you don't want her lusting after her own father!' Buffy said with mock seriousness.

'Nah, she wouldn't,' Xander whispered, beaming. He picked his little girl up and planted a little kiss on her soft whitish hair. 'Hello, Audrey Harris.'

At this moment of fatherly tenderness, both Dawn and Andrew emitted some very audible 'Aaww!''s.

Shortly after, a fake cough was heard coming from Anya's bed. 'Jenkins-Harris,' she said.

'Now now, Anya, do you really want your daughter to have such a long name? What if she too decides to give her children her own surname as well as her husband's?' Giles reasoned.

'Oh. Right. Then my grandchildren would have names like those Latin American ones. That would be uncomfortable. Not bad, but definitely uncomfortable.' There were a few seconds' silence. Then: 'Fine, Harris is okay.'

And so, Mr and Mrs Alexander Harris' daughter was officially named Audrey Harris. She had her whole life ahead of her. A long, healthy, happy one.