AN: Thanks for the kind reviews. Probably won't be as kind after this chapter, but oh well. Hope you enjoy.

Ryan stepped out of the bathroom and recognized Seth and Summer sitting beside the bed. "Hey."

"Hey, man, you all right?"

"Yeah. They're still poking and prodding me," Ryan said. He decided that he shouldn't mention what he heard to Seth after seeing Kirsten and Sandy's responses. Not to mention the way it made him feel, too. He couldn't take Seth getting upset, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it together.

"Mom and Dad are pretty…"

"My fault. I sort of wigged out," Ryan said immediately. "I don't like hospitals."

"Well, who does, but…"

"They haven't told us anything," Ryan said, sitting down on the bed.

"Ryan, what's going on?" Summer asked quietly.

"They say I'm anemic and they don't know why. That's why I'm here for tests instead of the doctor's office," Ryan said slowly.

"So, they're still running tests and they really haven't told you anything?"

"Yeah," Ryan nodded.

"And my parents were bugging out because..." Seth said.

"Because they still haven't told us anything," Ryan replied evenly. He stretched out on the bed.

"Why are you getting all comfortable?" Seth asked, still disbelieving.

"I have to wait here for the doctors and your parents. I'm beat," He admitted.

"You're not…" Seth started.

"Seth. Give him a minute," Summer said quietly.

"This really sucks, Seth," Ryan whispered, turning away from his friends.

"Yeah. I didn't mean to pester you, I'm just…" Seth started.

"Worried," Summer finished.

"Yeah. Me, too," Ryan whispered. He closed his eyes.

Seth turned to Summer and started to gesture widely with his hands, clearly agitated.

"Seth. It's cool. I just want to rest a few minutes, okay?" Ryan could sense his agitation.

"Okay," Seth replied. "Rest…"

"Seth. Relax."

"Relax, sure…"

"Chino, I'm going to take Cohen for a quick walk. We'll be back in a few minutes…"

"Thanks, Summer."

Ryan heard the Cohens arguing with the doctors in the hallway when he woke up several minutes later. He hadn't really intended to sleep, just to get Seth off his back, but he'd fallen asleep anyway.

"He's a child and your incompetent staff just told him he has cancer!" Kirsten's voice was high pitched and angry.

But he knew that it was true. She wouldn't be so angry if they'd gotten him scared over a lie. He had cancer. He slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He looked at his face in the mirror.

His pale skin. His sunken eyes. His tiredness. Was this what he looked like while he was dying? He'd always expected a current of blood and intense pain. A bullet or a knife. Not cancer.

Cancer.

Ryan hadn't been weak since he was a child. He learned fast that you had to stay strong if you wanted to make it. But he was weak. He had cancer.

He was going to die. It would eat away at him until he was too weak to survive.

He'd always known he was going to die but he never thought it'd be like this.

He didn't want to die like this. Not when he'd come so far. He finally had a real family and a real chance.

And he was going to die.

"Ryan? Ryan, are you in here?" Sandy's voice was worried from outside the bathroom.

Ryan splashed water on his face. He wouldn't let them see him upset again. He stepped out of the bathroom.

"Ryan. Are you sick again?" Sandy asked, concerned.

"No. I'm okay," Ryan said.

"Ryan, the doctors are coming in to talk to us about…"

"I heard you and Kirsten in the hallway. It's true."

Sandy didn't have to answer, Ryan could read his face.

"Did you tell Seth?"

"Ryan…"

"You should tell Seth. He's not going to like it."

"Ryan…"

"I don't think he should be here when the doctors talk to me. He…he won't be able to handle it. Can you make Summer take him home?"

"Ryan, slow down and listen to me…" Sandy started.

"Will you ask Seth to go home? Please?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed.

"I don't think he's going to listen to me. He's frantic already…" Sandy replied slowly. He'd never seen Ryan so stricken that he was talking so fast. He had to find a way to calm him down without driving them both into more of a panic. Sandy had to be strong for Ryan.

"I don't want him here. Tell him that. If you want me to send him home, send him in…"

"Ryan, where's this coming from? I mean…"

"I don't want to tell my best friend that I have cancer. That's it. I don't want him to come in here and look at me like I'm pathetic, like I'm dying…I want him to go home and sleep on it so he can come back and cheer me up. I don't want to see him, Sandy…" Ryan said in a rush.

Sandy sat down beside Ryan on the bed. He put his hand on Ryan's back gently. "I will talk to Seth. Right now I need to talk to you."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Ryan. There is treatment. There's a mass in your stomach. They aren't 100 sure that its cancer, they need to operate to find out for sure. Are you listening?"

"I'm listening," Ryan whispered. He was listening but he wasn't processing. He had cancer. Nothing else really mattered.

"They're going to prep you for surgery in a few minutes. I know it's really fast, but we want them to investigate and take care of it as soon as they can…"

"Surgery?" First cancer. Now surgery?

"They need to find out if the mass is malignant. If it's spread…they need to remove it, Ryan."

Ryan's eyes were locked on the floor and Sandy could see his mind processing his words.

"Ryan. Kirsten and I are right here for you…"

"And you think this is the only way?"

"Yes."

After a long silence, he nodded. "Okay. I'll do…I'll do whatever you think is best."

"We'll get through this, okay? Ryan?" Sandy waited for him to meet his gaze. "I promised you that I'd take care of you and I meant it. We'll get through this."

Ryan forced himself to nod. He was still stunned but he couldn't disagree. He wanted to believe Sandy. He needed to believe Sandy.

"Ryan. Look at me, please, son…" Sandy urged.

"I…I don't know what to say," He admitted. "I'm so fucking scared that I don't even know what to say…"

"This is all very sudden, Ryan, I wish there was more time for us to adjust…but we have to do this. We need to do this now," Sandy said quietly.

"I…I trust you. If you think this is right…do it. I have no experience with shit like this…" He whispered.

Sandy put his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "No one should have experience with this. It's going to be okay, Ryan. Kirsten and I will take care of you, okay?"

"Where is Kirsten?"

Sandy didn't want to tell him that she was crying her eyes out in the waiting room with the chaplain. "She's on her way."

"Your mom…she's got cancer…Kirsten's mom died of cancer…I know she's not going to want to do this…"

"Kid, you're only seventeen. You'll get over this. Listen. I know you're scared, I'm scared, too. But we have to stick together and keep talking and we'll make it through this...okay?"

Ryan nodded. He had to listen to Sandy. Sandy had always taken care of him, well, since he'd met him. He trusted him. He really trusted him. If Sandy said that he could get better…he'd take that and run with it. He could do this. He could beat this.

"Okay, kid. Keep your chin up, okay?" Sandy said, glad to see that Ryan's eyes had unglazed slightly and he was listening.

Seth and Summer stepped into the room. "Hey, sorry we took so long…"

"Seth, can I talk to you?" Sandy asked.

"No, Sandy. I…I'll tell him. Go find Kirsten," Ryan shuddered, clearly steadying himself.

"Are you…"

"I should tell him. It's okay," Ryan said, giving Sandy permission to leave.

"Dude, what is going on?" Seth's voice was quiet but Ryan could tell he was upset by the fact that Summer was gripping his arm tightly to keep him in check.

"Seth…I really need you not to freak out," Ryan said slowly. He met his best friend's gaze. "Really."

"You're a little late on that, Chino," Summer whispered.

"Okay. So, I'm sick," Ryan whispered.

"Yeah, we got that…" Seth said.

"I need surgery. They think…they think I have cancer," Ryan finished.

Summer gasped. She released Seth and disappeared from the room, upset.

"Seth…"

"Dude…are you sure?"

"They want me to have surgery…like, now. So they'll know for sure. So they can see if it spread. So they can see if…"

"Stop," Seth whispered. He was looking at Ryan with an anguished look on his face. "Man…"

"I…I really need you to not be weird about this, man. Really," Ryan whispered.

Seth took several tentative steps until he was standing beside Ryan's bed. "I…I can't stop being weird just because you have cancer."

Ryan glanced at him and finally broke into a smile. "Okay, man. Sorry…"

"Dude, you're so going to get through this. You're the toughest guy I know…" Seth's voice was shaking but he continued. "You're going to beat this shit like you beat up Luke, you're going to pummel it…"

"Okay, man, enough…" Ryan smiled, comforted by Seth's attempt at cheering him up.

The nurses stepped in to get Ryan ready for surgery. Seth made no effort to move.

"Sir? We need to get your friend ready for surgery. It'll only be a few minutes, okay?"

"It's cool, Seth. Thanks. Go check on Summer," Ryan said.

"I'll be right back, I want to see you before they take you, okay?"

"Thanks."

Seth stepped into the hallway and leaned heavily against the door. Sandy was standing with his back to him with a phone pressed against his ear. Seth tried to catch his breath. He didn't even know he'd lost his breath but he couldn't seem to breathe deeply like people were supposed to when they were panicking.

Ryan had cancer. The guy who was always behind him, always taking care of him and picking him up off the pavement and punching the guy who put him there was having surgery because he had cancer. Ryan Atwood, hero and overall great guy had cancer.

Seth wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. Ryan saved his life. Not literally or anything but he definitely brought Seth out of his self-imposed teenage depression.

He owed Ryan everything.

Ryan needed him to be the strong one now.

Seth had to be the strong brother.

"Seth?"

Seth glanced up at his father. "You're getting him good doctors, right, Dad?"

"The chief of oncology is assisting the chief of surgery. Caleb comes in good for something, right? How are you holding up?"

"He says…he says he has cancer…" Seth whispered, shaking as his father embraced him.

"He's a strong kid. He's going to be okay…"

"He's…he's scared, Dad. I've never seen him scared…."

"It's Chino," Summer said, approaching with Kirsten. "He's not going to let some stupid disease knock him down. He'll glare at it and give it the silent treatment, Cohen, he'll be fine…" She said, pulling him into a tense hug.

"Where'd you run off to?" He asked.

"I…I needed a minute. But I'm okay now. Are you okay?"

Seth turned to face his parents. "We have to be okay. For Ryan. Right?"

"Right," Kirsten and Sandy nodded.

One of the nurses stepped out. "He's ready for surgery. The doctors will be coming for him shortly."

"Can we…" Seth started to ask.

"He asked to be alone, I think he's a little nervous. Maybe one of the parents should go in," The nurse gave him a patient smile.

"I'll go. I shouldn't have rushed out on him like that, I want to talk to him…" Kirsten said immediately. She paused by the door. "He's going to be fine."

Ryan was sitting up in bed, staring at the IV the nurses had put into his hand. His blue eyes barely acknowledged her. "Hey."

"Hey. I know you want to be alone and I know that you think this is all my fault for making you come…"

"If you hadn't made me come, we wouldn't know I have cancer. It's not your fault, I'm sick. It's not like I played in the rain too long or ate your cooking…"

She felt tears in her eyes at his small joke. He was trying to be strong but all she could see was the fear behind his eyes. He had the most delicate eyelashes, thick and long but they couldn't hide his fear. She'd never seen him scared. Not like this. She went to his side. "Oh, Ryan…"

"Don't…don't cry, Kirsten…" He whispered.

She knew he hated to be touched but someone needed to comfort him. She reached out and touched his shoulders and he shuddered as she continued, finally pulling him into a hug.

"It's going to be okay," She murmured softly. She didn't know if he was shaking or if she was losing control of her emotions. She was startled when she felt him wind his arms around her, holding her carefully. "We promised to take care of you and we meant it. It's going to be okay. You can trust us…"

"I…I do…I trust you…I…"

"I hope so," She whispered, not releasing him. She felt his breathing change and realized that he was crying. "Because we'd do anything for you. We'll get you through this…" She ran her hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry I was so pissy earlier," He whispered.

"It's understandable, honey…" She murmured, still holding him close. "I know you're scared, we're all scared, but you can trust me. Trust us."

"I do…I'm trying…"

"I know." She released him and wiped the tears from his cheeks, mussing his hair. "You're such a strong kid. I know you can beat this."

He gave her a weak nod. "Okay. Let's do this…"

"The doctors will be coming soon, Ryan. Do you want to see Sandy or Seth before they take you?"

"Yeah. Give me a minute." He wiped his face again and she watched him recover his composure. "Can you tell I was crying?"

"Nope, your mask is officially in place," She smiled, squeezing his hand.

"Thanks, Kirsten," He whispered.

"No problem." She was still stricken by his diagnosis but she was uplifted by the small step she had made with Ryan. She wanted desperately to get to know him but for the past few months, they'd seemed to be circling each other. She knew that he loved her, but now she felt like he trusted her, too. He'd returned her hug. "I'll get the boys."

Seth had Summer's arm around him and Sandy was pacing in front of the door when she stepped out, holding the door open. "He's ready."

Seth left Summer outside as he pushed past his mother and went to Ryan's side. He began speaking softly and urgently to Ryan and Kirsten and Sandy couldn't make out his words. Ryan's cheeks blushed red and he broke into an embarrassed smile.

"He looks better, what did you say to him?" Sandy whispered.

"Probably the same thing you said. That we would take care of him."

"We will."