Disclaimer: Not mine except any unfamiliar characters and plot of course.
Author's Note: Terribly sorry chaps for all this! Well, I'm back and I have a story for you all! Hope you enjoy this!
Summary: James caught Lily doing something "naughty" and so Lily, seeing that she's a goody-goody and does not want to get in trouble, has to keep James quiet. But what exactly does she have to do? Be a love slave to James. With James's obsession for Lily and his twisted mind (as well as Sirius's) and with Lily's hot temper, anything can happen.
-----------------
Chapter 3- Bloody Bloody Bloody Hell
Yawn. Oh hello chaps. I've just woken up to find you here and so...here you are! Um...yes. Anyways, why are you here? Oh yes! The story! Well, we left them all in a little bit of a mix-up with the whole spell binding charm but don't worry, they love each other too much to really kill each other.
Anywhoo, moving on. I saw them sitting on the -ahem- love couch, arms crossed (at least in an attempt to since the binding of their wrists got into the way so it made as if James would touch her -personal- spot if she crossed her arms), and looking spiteful. Poor James. Lily's a redhead, it's no surprise she would get so tempermental so easily.
"BLOODY HELL! I HATE THIS! SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS HORRIBLE BINDING SPELL!" James shook his head and it looked as if he wanted to burst out laughing. I'm telling you chaps, he was bloody red. That is one scary looking James. Not his usual semi-decent good-looking self. (What? You think I would compliment him on his looks when I, the great and sexy looking Sirius Black, is well, SEXY?)
"Tsk tsk Lily. Language." Lily shot James an evil look that could possibly kill if it could. I swear, if that were true, James would be dead a million times. It's that harsh their relationship.
"You're one to talk. Don't you ever notice how foul your mouth is when you disgustingly eat at the Great Hall?" James smiled.
"Ah, so you stare at me, don't you?"
"I try not to. I fear I'll get sick just by seeing the mere sight of you, like now." James raised his hands in defence, jerking Lily along as well so that her head ended up in his lap. James laughed.
"You want to do this now?" Lily jerked her head from his lap and slapped him with her free hand.
"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! HOW SICK-MINDED COULD YOU GET?" Yes James. Do answer the question. We all love to see how horny you are in that teeny-tiny mind of yours.
"I'm sorry Lily, I wasn't listening." Which is amazing considering how loud her voice just echoed in the common room. I sighed, bored at the display. This was their usual ruckus. Nothing amazing was happening. Which was why I've decided to do something about it.
With the flick of my wand, Lily was somehow pushed forward into James's arms. Now, something was improving and I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. When it did happen, it happened so fast that I almost missed it.
This is how it went. Lily started slapping James and James tried to somehow calm Lily down but managed to holler at her and both started to wrestle on the ground (which kind of made sense considering they both love each other secretly and their bodies couldn't take it so while their minds disagreed, the bodies decided "what the hell," and went ahead with it. I love James and Lily's bodies-um, not in that way, you sick-minded people-for they went with their gut insticts.)
Anywhoo, while wrestling on the ground, I managed to grab my camera and click a picture of them. After the big flash, James and Lily had both blinked and looked at each other before looking at me with their dangerous, scary, evil eyes of theirs.
Slowly, they got up, brushed off their imaginary dust on their robes, and marched forwards towards me but it was too late. I was running away from them in a flash. I didn't know what they were doing since I was in too much of a hurry to get "away" from them.
I hid in the North Tower for so long, I was wondering what was happening so, I tip-toed towards the door and opened it to see two figures sleeping on the ground. I flicked my wand, whispered "Lumos" and saw James and Lily together, curled on the floor.
The image was just too cute. I captured another photo of them. They'll thank me later.
"Nox." I whispered and whisked away to the Gryffindor Tower to tell the others what I just saw. I knew they were going to shriek with laughter after they hear the news. I mean, this is James and Lily we're talking about. The two biggest arch-enemies in the entire bloody universe! Of course this was going to be big news. What I want to know is why they're there in the first place. Surely not to kill me or anything...right?
RIGHT?
Oh God, I hope so.
I strutted into the tower with a gleaming smile on my face. Pretty soon, the youngsters rushed up to hear what happened since all they saw were two red-faced people and a deathly scared me. Uh...deathly scared is not me. Nope. Sirius Black is never scared.
Well, I told them the story and their eyes got wider every second. I may have exaggerated a few points here and there but the point is that I got the purpose of the story across and, just as I was expecting it, laughter. Pure, joyous and cruel laughter. Maybe not cruel. But still, laughing at someone is mean. I think so.
I am very psychic. I should be a Divination Teacher.
Oh God no. Divination is just for the devils I tell you!
THE DEVILS!!! I'M TELLING YOU, THE DEVILS!!!
Ahem. I'm alright. Oh sod off, I'm not mental! I never was. You're all daft, I'm not.
Never mind. Back to the story at hand. James and Lily somehow managed not to kill each other when they woke up and they, I think, just walked silently back to the Gryffindor Tower seeing that I heard no noise when they entered the dormitory.
"Bloody Sirius." I heard one of them mutter. I grinned. 'Yep,' I thought. 'That's me!' I love it when people talk about me, good or bad. Usually, and somehow 98 of the time, it's always good. I'm such an angel. A hot angel mind you.
So, I silently stuffed my camera in my robes and entered the dormitory quietly, so I wouldn't disturb anyone, ESPECIALLY James and Lily. James could get very tempermental and Lily's a redhead...you know what I mean.
The next morning, oh that was bitter for me. I woke up to notice that I'm in green goop and the message above me was so mean, to me I think.
Enjoy! We know you love us. I hope you enjoy the picture,
we all did.
Love James and Lily.
And right next to the message, the horrifying picture. I don't think I want to explain it to you. But let's just say, it's too provocative. I think it's when I drank a lot of firewhiskey just for kicks.
Oh, those bloody bloody bloody people. This year has all gone to the dogs I tell you. It's all just a bloody mess. Quite literally too.
I raised my arm up and found that I couldn't move it. My eyes widened. 'What the bloody hell? How come I can't move at all?'
I raised my head up at the message and found that it had changed to something different.
'Oh, sorry for not mentioning earlier.
The goop that you're stuck in, well,
it has a 24 hour effect.
We've informed the teachers that you're in a bit
of a...ahem, mess. See, your
"mess" has left the whole school roaring with laughter. We may have
exaggerated the point.
Anyways, moving on there's also a binding spell of you with the bed
sowe'redafraid you're going to bored out of your mind.
We've left you messages that will continually change every hour or so. So once again, enjoy!
Love James and Lily
P.S. Remus had a hand in this but he won't admit it. We'll make him admit it.
Don't worry.'
I was red with anger now. The whole school is laughing at me?!? Usually, it's when they laugh at someone else and laugh WITH me.
Oh well, I suppose it's my punishment for trying to torture James and Lily but they asked for it! They werebegging to be together and yet, their stupid bloody minds wouldn't let them be.
I closed my eyes to sleep.
An hour later, I looked up to see some random pictures that James and Lily have left behind. I would've enjoyed watching the pictures...
IF I WASN'T IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS GREEN GOOP MESS!
I tried to lift my head up but it was no use...
I was stuck.
James and Lily are DEAD. This was stooping TOO LOW.
I wonder what James was doing with his master powers and what Lily is doing with the slave work? I haven't seen much action between them as a master and a love slave. Oh well, we'd just have to see later don't we? When I'm out of this mess...
Grr...
-------------
Safiya Femi: Two words: Writer's Block. That just explains the whole concept of this chapter. I haven't had any inspiration whatsoever. Maybe next chapter will be better...