Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and characters you don't recognise from the show.
A/N: Sorry for the late update. Here is a chapter in which not much happens but in which we get to delve into our little friend Audrey's exciting school life. Yay! Enjoy. (and review! Please.)
Thank God it's Friday. I can avoid Albert, and have time to study for the History exam we've got coming up on Monday. Of course, by History we don't mean the Cold War or the Ancient Greeks or anything like that. We focus more on demons (although Mr. Giles told me that there is evidence suggesting that Harry Truman and Sophocles were T'Gyshnak demons). Officially, it's called: 'Slayer Legacy and History of Evil' but you try writing 'Slayer Legacy and History of Evil Essay on …' or 'Slayer Legacy and History of Evil end of year Exam' every single time! I prefer calling it 'The hardest class ever'. And 90 of us poor WiTs would agree with me.
It's not like we're lazy. Not at all. In fact, we're all pretty much hard workers. The government calls Mr. Giles every six months and suggests names of those specifically fit for the job, meaning those who work hard and would not be pushed into catatonia when told about 'The Forces of Darkness', so it's not our fault if we all suck! Mr. Giles says it's not his fault either, and since we can't blame the vampires, as we seem to all suck during daytime as well, he says it must be our problem.
So there you have it. It's Friday, thank God, but it's not like I have a great weekend coming up. I have to attempt to learn the names of the 134 main branches of demon nobility and be able to place random famous demon names (such as 'the mighty Gopaulian') in the correct branch (in this case, that would be 'the Guyavian Clan of the Atlas Mountains'. Or not. Maybe I should check. Indeed, it's wrong. I am so going to fail.) Not to mention the dates and main events of countless wars which happened millions of years ago between the Old Ones (and at this point, please let me say that I couldn't care less about what happened between Rogestan and Illyria 239 million years ago). As if all this pressure wasn't enough, I have to try not to think about that thing with Albert too much, but at least I won't be seeing him for two days, if I can help it, so I might actually succeed.
Well, at least today I did well in the pop quiz (or poop quiz, as Dad says) Aunt Dawn gave us in Ancient Idioms of Demonic Usage (I know, all our classes seem to have awfully complicated names. It's intimidating). It was a few simple translations of typical Fyarl phrases, but little things in Fyarl language are really tricky; 'We' and 'someone' are spelt almost exactly the same, so it's really easy to get confused between 'Someone will eat you' and 'We will eat you' and therefore die. But I actually spotted the trick question and managed to avoid that mistake. Of course, I think I might have written balloon instead of knife somewhere, but at least I got the trick question right. Yay me!
Actually, I might have had a teeny bit of an advantage in this case because it so happens that Mr. Giles actually became a Fyarl demon for a day. Aunt Buffy told me all about it last year when I had to read Kafka for English class (in fact, 'the burden of the fight against the forces of darkness does not relieve us of the mortal coil that is standard education', as the amazing Andrew once said when assisting Mr. Giles in a lesson on the habits of M'Fashnik demons. He was trying to say that the algebra test we had the week after was not an excuse not to write that essay on mercenary demons). What was I saying? Oh yes, Kafka. Aunt Buffy told me all about Mr. Giles' little transformation, about how she almost killed him with a knife ('Rgywm' in Fyarl. And now I realise that I indeed wrote balloon instead of knife) and about the interesting parallels all this had with 'The Metamorphosis'. Which helped. And amazed me. Who knew Aunt Buffy read books? You know her. Sweet girl, not that bright. Which is a bit rich coming from 'she-who-wrote-balloon-instead-of-knife'.
I can't believe I wrote balloon instead of knife.
OK, I'm over it now.
Speaking of, Julie is totally over Graham. She says he's a jerk who left her to die all alone and that anyway, she doesn't like square-jawed guys. Pff. When she heard Johnny Depp was getting married she said she didn't like beautiful men anyway.
Oh dear. I've passed 15 minutes doing absolutely nothing. I still don't know what branch the mighty Gopaulian belonged to or who won the Rogestan v. Illyria war. Although I should remember because we actually met Illyria. She came to visit two years ago with the rest of the Fang Gang. Angel and Spike 'coincidentally' decided to 'come and see how everyone's doing' the week after Buffy broke up with Daniel. Which was funny. Anyway, Illyria came along too and Mr. Giles did a special lesson on the Old Ones, to which Illyria participated. I remember thinking that she was certainly not old-looking. She looked more blue than anything else. I also remember thinking 'pff. Men,' as I saw half the guys in the class literally drooling. Anyway, Illyria told us all about how in the glorious years when she possessed tentacles, she would use them to strangle inferior beings and squeeze their life juices out. She also said that she was the greatest of all Old Ones and it took a fantastic stroke of luck by a certain Yorkabuld to confine her to her prison in the Deeper Well. Unfortunately, she didn't mention Rogestan. But she did speak funny. She kept saying that humanity was the scourge of the Earth and that although she had given up on her plans of total extermination of the human race, she certainly did not think them worthy of populating the planet which had once belonged to her and only her.
Whatever.
I can't seem to concentrate. I therefore have every excuse to not bother with studying for now and turn instead to the much more interesting activity of daydreaming. About (a fully clothed) Albert. I meant Andrew, not Albert. Andrew. Ahem.