A/N: Wow, I'm actually pretty much keeping up my promise to update weekly!  This would have been done yesterday, but my original story decided to jump up and start writing itself, so all fanfiction was pushed aside.  I know this probably sounds repetitive by now, but a sincere thank you goes out to all who have read and reviewed.  I really appreciate your feedback.

Chapter 6: Guilt

            Sighing, Nita walked into her house, closing the front door with more force than necessary and causing it to slam loudly against the doorframe.  Well, she thought, trying to look on the bright side, at least I made it home without making a major fool out of myself.  That's a good thing.

            Isn't it?

            Nita found that she wasn't sure of the answer.  Shrugging out of her jacket, she hung it up in the front closet, belatedly remembering that her manual was in the pocket and fishing it out.  In a state of uncertainty and confusion, she walked up the stairs and into her room, closing the door behind her and flopping down onto her bed with a frustrated groan.

            The thoughts had not stopped coming.  The feelings had not abated.  Nita spent a moment wishing that this was happening to anyone but her, but she quickly stopped. 

            She was going nowhere.  No matter how often she told herself this, it didn't seem to get her any closer to a plan of any kind.  It had usually worked in the past; Nita did not like being faced with her own lack of progress, and so usually all she needed to prod her to move forward was to see that she wasn't moving.  But here, this apparently wasn't enough.  "Sweet Powers, what have I done to deserve this?" she demanded of the surrounding space.  As usual, there was no answer.

            Nita knew there had to be one.  Though the universe appeared chaotic, she had learned in her time as a wizard that few things, if any, happened or existed without a purpose.  There was a purpose to her feelings, something out there that had caused them.  That something just wasn't being very cooperative in helping Nita get rid of the emotions.

            She spent a few unproductive moments trying to think logically before simply deciding to ignore the feelings for a little while longer and hope that they went away.  This, as she soon found, was easier said than done.  It seemed that nothing could distract her.  Again, Nita sighed.  I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, she thought.  She should have known better than to try and take her mind from the problem.  Ignorance might be bliss for a while, but Nita knew that it usually ended up being terribly painful.  In the long run, knowledge was power, though it wasn't painless.

            She lay on her bed, eyes shut, and tried again to think of what could be affecting her.  Nita toyed with the idea that it might be due to the meddling of the Lone Power, but dismissed that idea almost immediately.  This didn't have the feel of that, and besides, the thoughts were definitely her own; she was sure that she would know if It was influencing her emotions.  Plus, she didn't see what It could gain from such an act.  Unless It wanted her to ruin her and Kit's partnership…

            Nita shook her head, keeping her mind from straying down that path.  The Lone One wasn't involved.  She would know if It was.

            That elimination left a very short list: some force Nita hadn't encountered yet in her wizardry—she didn't deny that there were many of those—or Nita herself.

            Just as Nita had resolved to look for help in her manual, she heard the bedroom door creak open.  Sitting up on her bed, she saw Dairine standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed.  Dairine looked at Nita and her expressions grew cloudy, a hint of worry evident in the lines of her mouth. 

            Do I really look that frazzled? Nita thought.  And if she can tell, could Kit?  Not sure she wanted to know the answer to her second question, Nita spoke.  "Hey Dair," she said.  "What's up?"

            Dairine walked into the room, closing the door again behind her and sitting down in the chair at Nita's desk.  "Don't give me that," she said.  "There's something wrong.  I know it, you know it.  Spill."

            Nita knew it would do her no good to deny that there was something bothering her.  Dairine was amazingly perceptive of her sister's emotions, and wise for her years, always seeming to have a sensible answer to any problem.  The only problem Nita had now was figuring out how to phrase her situation without giving Dairine enough material to blackmail her for the rest of Nita's life, so she didn't think she could go to Dairine about that.

            After thinking a moment, she looked down at her hands and said, "Do you ever feel like your emotions aren't…yours?"  Chancing a look at Dairine rewarded Nita with a view of her overtly confused expression, so Nita continued.  "I don't know how to say it, exactly.  Lately, I've been feeling like there's someone else inside my skin.  But then I hear it coming and turn around—and there's nothing there but me," she finished lamely.

            Dairine sat still, a pondering look replacing the confusion.  Nita didn't move either, apprehensive.  Finally, Dairine spoke.

            "I can't say that I've ever felt anything like that," she said, her voice level and calm.  "But from what you've said, it could be you.  I don't know what you should do.  Sorry."

            She really does look sorry, Nita thought, slightly bewildered.  This was not the usual Dairine.  Either she was scared, or she knew something Nita didn't know, or both.

            "Listen, squirt," Nita said, her voice acquiring an overtone of threat.  "You better not be leaving anything out.  If I find out that you could have helped me, and you didn't…"  She trailed off into ominous silence.

            "I meant everything I said," Dairine replied, her voice not as cool as it had been.  "I hope you figure it out." 

            She got up and walked out of the room, leaving Nita even more confused than she had been before and less sure that there was anything she could do about it.

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            What have I done? Dairine thought as she left her sister's room.  What had started as a fun joke seemed to have hit Nita harder than intended—much harder.  Nita had even risked telling Dairine about her feelings, in order to get her help on the matter.

            Dairine could help.  She could turn around, walk back into her sister's room, and admit to tampering with her name and causing all of Nita's distress.  She could even go out tonight once everyone was asleep and change Nita's name back to normal.  She knew that if she approached Nita about it, she would be grilled alive.  If she didn't, she'd feel guilty forever.

            So, live guilt-free for ten more minutes or be silently sorry for the rest of my life, Dairine thought.  Neither option looked pleasant.

            But there was always the third option.  Dairine reached the door to her bedroom and walked inside, shutting it behind her.  She wished she knew what the third option was.