AN: Here's a tiny update. You knew it wasn't going to be easy, right? Right? If not...sorry.

Ryan walked into Harbor with Kirsten the next morning. He was alert and well-rested but his face was still bruised and he was out of breath from the walk up the stairs. Kirsten gave him a hug and left him with his bag.

Mr. Anderson greeted him at the door to the classroom. Ryan was relieved to see the few students in the classroom. Seth, Larry, Holly and a couple of other kids were seated already.

"Okay. For some of you, this is a catch up course. A couple of you have been out of the country whereas some of you are going to be on a limited schedule. So let's get started."

Mr. Anderson was a pretty relaxed teacher and Larry and Seth kept Ryan entertained with their secretive paper fight that climaxed with a wad of paper colliding with Mr. Anderson's face.

Mr. Anderson gave them the last 10 minutes free and Seth immediately pulled his desk up to Ryan's.

"You feel okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I think these classes will be okay," Ryan said. Larry approached.

"Hey, man. This is really cool, man. It's giving a lot of us second chances to get all our requirements," Larry said.

"Yeah?"

"See, I'm going on tour with my girl in a couple of weeks and I'm going to miss a lot of school. This keeps me up. That, and I'm not allowed in the chemistry lab anymore," He laughed.

English class was equally laid back and Luke was his 'sidekick' for the period, making sure Ryan was drinking fluids and staying alert.

Ryan was getting tired when Anna joined him for calculus.

"Hey, I thought you'd be in chemistry," Ryan said.

"Well, my free period fell on calculus. And I haven't been feeling the math lately, so I can use the practice," She admitted.

"Well, if I nod off, just shake me."

"Deal. It'll be over soon and I'm taking you to lunch."

Ryan made it through chemo without throwing up but his strength was gone and they could barely wake him when they got home. He immediately retreated to the guest room and bundled under the pile of blankets, passing out.

Sandy stepped in to wake him up for his medicine around eight.

"Ryan?" Sandy gently patted the mound of blankets until Ryan's head emerged. "Hey, there."

"What time is it?"

"Around eight…"

"Really? Sorry for falling asleep…"

"You had a long day. I have your meds."

"You want me to eat?" Ryan asked, swallowing the pills.

"Do you want to eat?"

"I never want to eat," Ryan replied.

"Rice, it is," Sandy smiled. They'd go through this routine every day.

Ryan sighed. He wasn't feeling like joking today.

"Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

"What?" Ryan asked.

"You're handling this…so bravely…I don't know how you do it…" Sandy admitted.

"I'm following your lead," Ryan replied. "Everyone's been so great…I'm just letting you take care of me."

"Do you want to come out for dinner, Ryan?" Sandy asked, sensing that Ryan didn't want to see anyone.

"Can I…can I just sleep awhile?"

Kirsten stepped in with the phone in her hand. "Ryan…your brother is on the phone."

"Trey?" Ryan asked in surprise.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

Ryan hesitated but took the phone. Kirsten and Sandy left him alone.

"Trey?" Ryan answered.

"Ryan. Damn, it's good to hear your voice."

"What's up, man?"

"Well, I heard a nasty rumor…"

"About who?"

"Stop fucking with me, Ry. Is it true?" Trey demanded.

"What…"

"Is it fucking true?"

"I had cancer. I have cancer…" Ryan said slowly.

"Fuck…fuck me, Ry…"

"I'm doing what the doctors say, I'm taking treatments and they say I'll be okay…in a while…"

Trey was silent.

"I'm fine, Trey."

"You're full of shit, you're dying…"

"No, Trey…"

"You have cancer, you're fucking dying…"

"Fuck you…" Ryan hung up the phone abruptly, unable to listen. He turned the ringer off and set it on the table by the door before returning to bed. He wouldn't talk to Trey. He couldn't. He had to take it one day at a time but he couldn't talk to Trey.

Ryan managed to make it to school for the next few days but after his Thursday chemo session, he retreated to his room without speaking to anyone. Sandy didn't want to push him and Seth agreed, saying that Ryan needed to rest.

Kirsten found him burrowed under the covers later that afternoon, sweating with fever. He didn't wake when she shook him and was hot to the touch. He was burning up.

"Sandy? Call Dr. Tarleton. Now!" She yelled, shaking Ryan more desperately. Seth joined her.

"Mom, what is it?"

"I can't wake him up…" She said, panicked. She kept shaking him.

"Mom, let go…Mom!" Seth pulled her away before sitting down on Ryan's bed. "Ryan?"

Sandy brought the phone in and handed it to Kirsten.

"Ryan, wake up, buddy…" Seth slapped his face gently. Ryan wasn't dead, he was just sleeping and Seth would wake him up and everything would be okay. He slapped his face again.

Ryan's eyelids fluttered.

"Ryan, wake up…" Seth repeated.

"Hmm…"

"Ryan, it's important…" Seth urged until Ryan finally opened his glazed blue eyes.

"Thank god, Ryan?" Sandy asked from over Seth's shoulder.

"Fuck…it's hot…" Ryan muttered. "What's going on?"

Kirsten lowered the phone. "You're running a fever, we have to take you in…"

"What…no…" Ryan was still confused.

"Ryan? It's okay…it's just to get your temperature down…" Sandy met Ryan's panicked gaze. "It's okay."

Ryan gave him a timid nod. "Okay…" He turned to Seth. "Help me to the car, man…"

Ryan slept all the way to the hospital and Dr. Tarleton was waiting for them in the ER. He quickly put Ryan in a wheelchair and rolled him into a private room for examination. The nurse explained that he didn't want to expose Ryan to all the germs in the ER.

Sandy and Kirsten sat in the waiting room and watched Seth pace. Once hour three passed, Seth was sitting while they paced. No one made any move to leave.

Dr. Tarleton stepped in.

"Doctor…" Sandy started.

"His fever's broken. It spiked a little while ago and he's resting comfortably now…"

"What's wrong with him?" Seth demanded.

"His system's compromised by the chemo. Even something as innocent as the common cold can cause an infection. We're treating him with the antibiotics and he should be fine in a few days."

"What about the chemo?"

"We're putting that on hold for right now. We'll see how he does in the next few days," Dr. Tarleton said. "This is only a setback. Ryan's still hanging in there."

"But…but this wasn't supposed to happen, right? Like, we should have been taking better care of him…"

"There's no way of telling where he got the infection from. You have done everything you could do to keep him safe. Don't lose faith, now."

"Can we see him?"

"Sure. We've moved him back to his room, Rita's with him. She's taken a liking to him. I'll get some blankets for you."

Seth sat down beside Ryan's bed as soon as he walked into the room.

Ryan was sleeping, his chest rising and falling in rhythm to the heart monitor he was attached to. Seth leaned forward and put his forehead on top of Ryan's hand. And he started to cry.

Sandy moved to stop him, but Kirsten stopped him. She pulled Sandy outside, leaving Seth with Ryan.

"You can't keep doing this to me. This isn't fair…I'm supposed to take care of you now and you're fucking it all up…you can't die…I won't let you…" Seth cried.

Ryan didn't wake up, but his hand moved under Seth's head. Seth raised his head and looked at Ryan.

"Ryan?"

He was asleep. Seth sighed and leaned back in the chair. "You have to get better." He reached out and took Ryan's hand. "You have to get better." Ryan squeezed his hand and moved his lips, contented in his sleep.

Ryan woke up to the smell of coffee. It'd been a while since he'd been allowed coffee and even though the mildest smells sent his stomach into somersaults, coffee smelled like heaven to him. He missed it.

He missed a lot of things. Walking ten steps without getting out of breath. Swimming. Riding his bike. Hanging out with his friends in public.

He opened his eyes and recognized the hospital room.

"Anna's at the house. She's helping Rosa fix up his room," Sandy was saying.

They were fixing up his room again?

"What is it this time?" Seth asked.

"I bought a TV and a game system so if he doesn't feel like getting out of bed, he doesn't have to. We've also ordered a king-sized bed…" Kirsten started, pausing.

"Isn't that a little much?" Sandy asked.

"Just the other day, Seth, Ryan, Summer and Anna were all clustered on the bed playing cards. This way, there's plenty of room. I'll upgrade Seth's room next weekend," Kirsten said.

Ryan was thirsty and Seth caught his gaze first.

"Hey, man. How're you feeling?"

"Sick…" Ryan croaked. Seth offered him a bottle of juice with a straw.

"Well, yeah. But you're looking much better conscious," Seth grinned.

"You had a pretty nasty infection, but you're doing much better. Your fever's gone and as soon as you get your strength back…" Kirsten started. "You can go home."

"As soon as I get my strength back? You've got to be kidding," Ryan laughed, finishing the juice.

"Maybe that's a bad choice of words. You just need to rest, okay?" Kirsten said.

"Okay. No problem there," Ryan snorted.

"Someone's a little grouchy today," Sandy smiled.

Ryan gave him the finger. They laughed. Even through Ryan's worst moments, the Cohens were entertained when he was grumpy. He was usually so dry and complacent that his grouchiness was a stark contrast.

Ryan rolled his eyes and sat up slowly, struggling to maneuver the IV out of his way.

"What are you trying to do?" Seth asked finally.

"I need to go to the bathroom…" Ryan admitted.

"I'm going to go see if we can't get you something to eat and to let the doctor know you're awake," Kirsten said.

Ryan didn't realize until he got to his feet how weak he really was. His knees gave out immediately and if Sandy hadn't been standing beside him, he would have fallen. But Sandy put his arms around Ryan's shoulders and helped steady him to the bathroom.

"Who knew bathroom breaks would turn into a family affair?" Ryan asked. Seth was walking alongside rolling the IV with them.

"We're not going in there with you man, we're just here for the support," Seth joked.

Ryan closed the door to the bathroom as Sandy and Seth waited outside.

"He looks better," Sandy said aloud.

"He looks beat," Seth muttered.

"Chin up, Seth. He's getting through this. One day at a time, remember?"

"I know," Seth sighed. "It just sucks seeing him like this."

"I'm sure it's hard for him, too," Sandy replied.

The door opened and Ryan stepped out, his eyelids drooping. "I so want to go home."

"What's wrong?" Sandy asked.

"I don't have a toothbrush. I feel all yucky and there's not even a toothbrush in here," He muttered.

"I'll take care of that, I'll be right back," Sandy disappeared immediately.

"Parents are at your beck and call. Must be nice, right?" Seth said, helping Ryan to a seat.

"Were you crying last night?" Ryan asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Were you crying last night, Seth? Or was I dreaming?"

"Um…maybe a little. Sorry…"

Ryan was serious. He pointed his finger at Seth. "Don't you ever do that to me again, okay? I will not be responsible for what happens to you if you cry in front of me again, okay?"

Seth relaxed, smiling. "Okay, man."

"Okay." Ryan sighed. "So, can I get out of here soon?"

"Once you're a little better."

"I might as well stay until chemo. It's just going to knock me on my ass again," Ryan muttered.

"Well, you're getting a reprieve from chemo for the moment. Seems you're a little too fragile to take another dose so soon…" Seth said, regretting his words immediately as Ryan's face fell.

"Oh."

"What?"

"I can't even be sick the right way…"

"Dude, it's not your fault…"

Ryan shook his head. "It doesn't matter," He sighed. "I'm going to lie down."

"Don't you want to brush your teeth?"

"I'd rather lie down, now."

Anna was sitting with him when he woke up again.

"Hey, Ryan."

"Hey."

"Summer and Luke kidnapped your family. They're taking them out to dinner. Seth was a little hyper, Kirsten a little bitchy and Sandy…I swear, Ryan, he was whining, it was so not cool."

"Hmm…" Ryan mumbled, yawning. "Thanks. So you get babysitting duty again?"

"I was actually hoping you could help me with this calculus bullshit. You kicking me out?"

"I'm just not really feeling…social right now."

"Ryan, you're never social," Anna teased.

Ryan shifted in bed uncomfortably.

"What is it?"

"Why are you doing this for me?"

She looked at him. "What?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're my friend. And…"

"I don't want your pity…"

"You don't have my pity. You have my friendship. If it was me in that bed…I have no doubt that you'd stick by me."

He sighed.

"Don't start feeling sorry for yourself now, Ryan. You've come too far."

"Not far enough," Ryan muttered.

"Ryan, I was at your house today. Answering the phone and stuff…you got a call from Trey."

Ryan sighed.

"I accepted the charges, I didn't know what else to do…he said you won't talk to him."

"I can't."

"Will you talk to me?" Anna asked, taking his hand.

He lowered his gaze. "I told him that I was sick and that I was getting help. He freaked out, said I was dying, he said I was fucking dying…and I can't listen to that. I just can't. Not right now."

"Did you tell Sandy and Kirsten?"

"Why would I? So they can scold a guy they don't even know?" Ryan asked. "Trey…he's Trey."

"I'm sorry, Ryan."

Ryan nodded. "So. What did he say?"

"He wanted to know how you were doing. Said that every time he calls, they tell him you're sleeping. He says you never slept so much," Anna started. "He sounded worried. Rosa says he's been calling every day."

"Fuck."

"Ryan…"

"I'll call him…"

"Ryan…"

"Thanks, Anna. For hanging out. And you know…"

"No problem. I won't tell the Cohens about Trey."

They were silent.

"What about your mom, Ryan?"

"I don't know if she knows," Ryan replied.

"Of course she doesn't know…"

"Even if she did…she wouldn't be able to handle this. She'd stay away."

"Can I get you anything, Ryan?" Anna asked, sensing his mood darkening further.

"Can you turn off the lights? I'm so tired of sleeping with the lights on. Just for a while?"

"Sure thing…"

"Oh, wait, you were studying…"

"Well, now, I'll nap. I'll study later. Besides, if you're napping, there's no one to help me," Anna smiled.