AN: Small update. Final scene belongs to Joey.

Sandy and Kirsten stepped into the darkened room first, Seth was in the parking lot with Summer and Luke.

"Look," Sandy whispered.

Anna was asleep in the hospital bed beside Ryan, her arms wrapped around his blanket. He was still shivering but had a peaceful expression on his face as he slept.

"Let's leave them alone," Kirsten said, leading Sandy into the hallway again.

"You think that's normal?" Sandy asked.

"I think she's a good friend," Kirsten replied.

"They're sleeping in the same bed."

"I think that he knows what he's doing."

"But does she? I mean, he's sick…"

"Sandy, he's not going to die. He's going to get well," Kirsten stated flatly. "If they want to start something…that's up to them. You want to tell him why he can't have a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? I didn't think…"

"What I'm trying to say is that he's still a teenager. He's sick but he still has to go on. If she makes him happy, if she can make this even the slightest bit easier, then I think we should support him. He's lucky to have such good friends. Besides, we don't really know anything's going on."

Inside the room, Anna woke up. She'd watched Ryan sleep for a few minutes before making up her mind to help him get warm. He was so cold, all the time. She hated seeing him suffer, even when he swore he was fine, she'd see him shiver. He was so strong, but he was fading away right in front of her. She'd just wanted to hold onto him.

But she'd fallen asleep with her arms around him. If someone had walked in and seen her…there's no telling what they would think. She didn't even know what she thought. She was grateful that Ryan was still asleep.

But he had fitted nicely in her arms. His soft breathing. His smooth skin. She shook off her thoughts.

Ryan was her friend. That's it. He couldn't handle anything else right now.

When he was well, she'd talk to him. They'd talk.

She settled back into the seat beside the bed. Ryan didn't stir.

The door opened and she got up immediately, turning to see.

"Hey. How's he doing?" Kirsten asked.

"Sleeping. He wanted to turn the lights out. Said he's tired of sleeping with the lights on," She whispered.

"Oh. We hadn't thought of that."

Anna could sense that Kirsten had something more to say. "Everything okay?"

"Fine. Thank you for staying with him. You're a good friend."

"Thanks. So's he. I'll leave you with him. Tell him I'll see him tomorrow."

"He should be home by lunchtime," Kirsten smiled.

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Ryan woke up and for the first time in weeks, he was warm. He was heavy, too. Sometime during the night, Kirsten and Sandy had piled blankets on him. He saw Kirsten sleeping on the couch a few feet away. The only light in the room was from the closed curtains. It was obviously daylight outside.

He reached over and wearily flipped on the light. Kirsten sat up almost immediately, blinking away her sleep.

"You didn't have to stay."

"Of course I did. We weren't going to leave you here all alone. No matter how good you were sleeping." She came and sat beside him. "You needed the rest."

"All I do is rest."

"It's what's best right now," She smiled.

"I know."

"You get to go home today, though."

"That's good. When do I start chemo again?"

Kirsten was surprised. "I thought you'd be relieved…"

"I want it over. Putting it off a few days is nothing, I want it to be finished."

"Well, they want to run some tests. To see if the chemo's doing what they want it to do. There's a possibility that they might stop the treatments…"

"But…"

"Dr. Tarleton's going to come in and explain it all to you. It's nothing to worry about," She reassured him, reaching over and mussing his hair.

"Nothing to worry about…" He repeated.

"You've been doing great, Ryan. You're staying strong, you're fighting your hardest and you're going to get better. You just have to hang in there."

"I'm hanging," He said, giving her a sad smile. "Thanks for all the blankets. I'm not cold yet. It's a nice change."

"You're welcome. Anything that we can do."

"When are you going back to work?" Ryan asked.

"Don't worry about that."

"I am worried about that. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your…"

"I'm not sacrificing anything. Daddy understands and I can do just as much work with a phone and a laptop than I can in the office. Relax."

"Okay."

"You hungry?"

"I should eat."

"I'll go get Rita…"

"Does she work 24 hours?" Ryan asked.

"You just sleep when she's not here. The other nurses have crushes, too, but they're nowhere as smitten as Rita," Kirsten teased.

"She's harmless. You said," Ryan smiled. His gaze drifted past her.

"You okay?"

"Tired. Always tired," Ryan replied honestly.

"It'll get better."

"I know. You keep telling me so," He said. "Go get me something to eat, Kirsten. Be useful," He teased.

She gave him a soft kiss on his forehead and left.

As soon as she was gone, he let out the breath he was holding.

Stay strong. Hang on. It'll get better.

Words.

No matter what he did, he kept ending up here. In the hospital. Helpless. He was fucking helpless and weak and there was nothing he could do about it.

The worst part was, every day he was more and more frightened. Sandy and Kirsten's words were helping anymore. Seth's tears weren't helping. Anna's pity and charity wasn't helping.

He was fucking scared.

He was going to die.

What if Trey was right? What if he was just postponing the inevitable?

He was going to die.

"Ryan?" Kirsten stepped in. She must have seen the fear on his face because she put down the tray immediately and went to his side, pulling him into her arms. "You're shaking, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Oh, honey…I know this is hard…it's so hard…I know you're scared…please don't give up, okay? It's going to be okay…it's going to take time, but you'll be okay…you have to be patient…" She murmured.

He didn't say anything. She rocked him gently but he didn't say anything. He couldn't.

"Please…don't give up…we will get you through this, we're not making you do this alone…"

But he was alone. He was dying. He'd die and Kirsten and Sandy and Seth would move on. He was utterly alone. He needed them, he was trying to get better, but his body wasn't healing. He was scared.

"Ryan? Say something, Ryan…"

"I…I can't."

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Dr. Tarleton released Ryan from the hospital around ten and Kirsten drove him home. He was quiet and she didn't push him. She knew he was scared, but she'd never seen him this scared. After she'd held him for a while, he'd managed to eat the bland food and drink several glasses of juice. But he hadn't talked. He was painfully quiet and the closer they got to home, the more worried she was.

She parked the car in the driveway and turned to check on him.

He sat up, visibly steadying himself. "Okay."

"What?"

"I'm done with that. I'm okay. Let's go inside. I'm sorry for spacing out, but I'm okay now."

"You're okay," She repeated.

"Yeah. For now. Thank you. I just needed…not to talk for a while," He said.

But she could see in his eyes that he was still distant. Something had changed.

"Ryan…I know you need quiet sometimes. I know you're scared. We all are. But we have to stick together. You…you can talk to us. About anything. And if you don't want to talk to us…we'll get someone for you to talk to…I can't imagine what you're going through…I just want to help."

"I know. You are helping. I just…I need to wrap my head around all this," He whispered.

"Okay, kid. Let's get you inside." She went to the passenger side and opened his door from the outside. He reached out and she steadied him by the arm, trying to ignore his bruised arms from the IV's.

"Thanks…"

"No problem."

She walked slowly with him to the house and into his room.

The large bed took up a lot of space and she watched him to see his reaction.

"I heard you talking about the bigger bed," He confessed as he sat down. "It's really nice."

"Well, we want you to be as comfortable as possible. Besides, you know how we like to spend money," She said, sitting down beside him.

"I'm going to get a shower. I always feel dirty after the hospital."

"Sure."

He seemed steadier and turned to face her. "Can you see if Rosa can make me some of that green tea? It…it would be really good right now."

"Sure. Now, I know you want to be by yourself when you shower, but if you get weak or anything, just call out, okay?"

He stood up and glanced at her, wavering slightly. "Maybe I'll take a bath."

"Okay, kid. I'll leave you to it. I'll put some clothes on the bed for you."

Kirsten closed the door behind her and took a deep breath.

"Kirsten? Ryan has guests," Rosa said. "You okay?"

"Okay. He's getting cleaned up." She followed Rosa into the living room where a beautiful young Hispanic girl was sitting with an older lady, obviously her mother.

"Mrs. Cohen? I'm Teresa and this is my mom. We're friends of Ryan's," The girl introduced.

"Oh yes, he was supposed to go visit you a few days ago," Kirsten realized.

"Ryan was our neighbor for many years. He's a good boy. Teresa's been begging me to bring her out to see him ever since he called. How is he?" Eva asked.

"He's…he's weak. The chemotherapy is wearing him down. He had a pretty bad fever, I just brought him home from the hospital today."

"His brother…Seth, he's been keeping me updated. He's a nice kid. Can I see him?" Teresa asked.

"He's getting a bath…"

"Ryan's taking a bath? He hates baths," Teresa smiled, clearly nervous.

"Teresa. He's weak…" Her mother said quietly.

"Oh. And it's not like he's going to let anyone help him…" Teresa muttered.

"You seem to know Ryan very well," Kirsten smiled.

"Yeah. As well as anyone really can know him. We…we were friends a long time."

"Come into the kitchen. I'll get Rosa to fix us up some snacks and Ryan should be out soon so you can see him for yourself."

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Anna drove Seth home from school. His parents had forced him to go, he'd missed a lot of days while he was at the hospital with Ryan but he wasn't happy about school.

School was weird now. All the soccer jocks that used to terrorize him had become nice overnight. They would constantly ask him for updates on Ryan's health and offer him notes, rides, lunch, anything they could think of that he would need.

It was like the twilight zone. Luke, Anna and Summer were the only people getting him through the day. Anna made it a point to talk about anything and everything that didn't concern cancer or hospitals. Summer held his hand whenever she was near and their stolen kisses and makeout sessions were the highlight of his days now. She seemed to know that he needed her. Luke had turned out to be a prime study partner. He'd helped Seth with many a quiz cram session since Ryan's sickness.

"Hey. We're here."

"You coming in?" Seth asked her.

"Yeah. He's home, right?"

"Mom called, said he got home around lunch," Seth said. He glanced at Anna. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When'd you and Ryan get so close?"

"What?"

"You guys…you're really close. How'd I miss that?"

"Summer," She said quietly. "When you started getting serious with Summer…Ryan and I became friends. I…I was a little upset and he's a good listener. He's a good friend."

Seth nodded. "I'm sorry…"

"I see how happy you guys are together and I know that it was for the best," She said.

"Do you like Ryan?" Seth asked.

"What?"

"Like…do you like him?"

"He's…he's like my best friend."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"I care about him, Seth. It's not romantic…"

"Not yet, you mean," Seth smiled slyly.

"Seth, he's got cancer. He needs to focus on getting better. I'm not here to complicate his life. I'm here because he's my friend and he needs me."

Seth was still smiling.

"Seth," Anna scolded.

"I know."

"Seth, don't try and start anything. Ryan's…he's uncomfortable enough as it is. He needs his friends to be around him, he needs us not to treat him weird. We owe him that much."

"Okay. Let's go inside," Seth said, nodding with understanding.

She followed him into the house.

"Mom?" Seth called.

"She's outside, working. Ryan's sleeping. He had visitors all afternoon, he's pretty tired out," Rosa said, greeting them both.

"I'm going to go talk to Mom," Seth said.

Anna went to Ryan's room and pushed open the cracked door. He was curled onto one edge of the massive bed. She closed the door behind her as quietly as she could.

"Anna?" He called, sitting up.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"My sense of smell is in hyperdrive. I can smell your shampoo from here," He admitted.

"Wow. How're you doing?" She climbed onto the bed and settled beside him.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Sucky."

"Figured. Can I help?"

"I just…I want to forget about it for a while," He said.

"Okay. Well, we can play video games or watch a movie or do some schoolwork, what's your pleasure?" She asked.

"How about…I call my brother. Will you sit with me? And once we're done, we can watch that movie you're always talking about, with the colors."

"Reservoir Dogs? Really?" She grinned.

"Yeah."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan."

Ryan reached over and picked up the phone. Anna didn't want to seem like she was hanging off every word, so she spread a deck of cards out in front of her and started a game of solitaire.

"Can I speak to Trey Atwood? Yes, I'll hold." Ryan's eyes were dull and unfocused as he watched Anna lay out the rows.

Ryan didn't want to talk to Trey but he had to. If he'd been calling so much, it was obvious that he was worried. Ryan needed to ease Trey's mind and get him to stop worrying. He was so tired of everyone worrying about him. He just needed someone to treat him like a regular person and not a patient. Right now, that person was Anna. She was helpful and supportive. She treated him carefully, but she wasn't smothering like Kirsten or Seth. He wanted her here while he talked to Trey. He didn't think she would make as big of a deal out of it as Seth or his parents.

"This is Trey."

"Hey. Anna said you called."

"Ryan? Yeah, man, I'm so sorry about last time, I overreacted…"

"A little."

"Teresa says you're doing okay, that they're taking good care of you. I called her after…after you stopped taking my calls."

"The…the medicine takes a lot out of me, Trey."

"You're tough. You'll get through it."

Ryan forced himself to focus on the cards in front of Anna. He spotted a move and reached over, moving the eight over the nine. He felt Anna's eyes on him.

"Ryan? How are you holding up?"

"I'm going to be fine, Trey."

"And…you'll take my calls?"

"Yeah. If I'm awake. Teresa came to see me today."

"What'd she say?"

"That I needed a tan," Ryan replied.

"Sounds like Teresa."

"Listen, man…I have to go."

"Yeah? Okay. I'll call you in a couple of days and see how you're doing, okay?"

"That'd be nice, Trey." He hung up the phone.

"That didn't seem so bad," Anna said quietly.

"Not too bad."

Anna squeezed his shoulder and he turned to look at her. She gave him a shy smile. "You ready for some blood and cursing?"

"Um…" He was confused.

"The movie."

"Oh, yeah. Bring it on," Ryan smiled, relaxing.

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Summer was leaning on Seth's shoulder in the den of his house. Ryan had been asleep awhile, covered under a thick blanket in the chair beside the couch. Summer was enjoying her boyfriend's warm arms around her and the peaceful silence. Kirsten and Sandy had gone to bed hours earlier.

Seth was watching Conan O'Brien when Ryan stirred.

He sat up slowly and blinked, tiredly. He sluggishly disentangled himself from the blanket and stood up. He immediately faltered.

Seth deserted Summer immediately and she fell to the couch with a thump, unprepared. Seth managed to catch Ryan by the shoulders as his knees buckled.

"I got you…come on…" Seth helped him back to his feet and put his arm around Ryan, supporting him to the guest room.

"Thanks," Ryan murmured as Seth released him at the bed.

Seth looked at his friend in the dim light. He was pale and thin. Seth had never seen Ryan look so thin, almost frail. It wasn't supposed to be like this. "Do you need…" Seth started.

"Seth."

"Yeah?"

Ryan was looking at him with clear blue eyes and it took all of Seth's power to hold his gaze. "Do you think this is normal?"

"What?"

"For me to be…this sick. Do you think I'm getting better, Seth?" Ryan's eyes searched his face.

Seth couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.

"Because…because I feel like I'm dying, Seth…and I…I don't know what to do about it…" Ryan whispered.

"No. You're getting better, man," Seth said. "You're just…tired."

Ryan nodded, his face blank. "Tired." He stretched out and pulled the blankets up around his neck.

"Ryan, I…"

"'Night, Seth."

Seth turned off the light, realizing that he'd lost his chance to say anything else to Ryan.

He sat down on the couch beside Summer and she settled into his lap again, leaning her head on his shoulder. She glanced up when she felt the first wetness on her shoulder.

He was crying silently with his eyes clenched shut.

"Cohen, what…"

"He just said…he told me he was dying…he…he asked me if I thought he was getting better…and I didn't know what to say…god…he can't die, Summer…"

She embraced him, holding him as he sobbed.

"He can't die…" Seth cried.

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