Disclaimer- I don't own squat. Sue me not.

WANTED- Beta. Must frequently check e-mail and have AIM. Please? Be nice and beta for me?

N.B.- I have rewritten the first three chapters to try and make Draco a little more in character. Plus there were some problems in chapter 3. You needn't bother to read the first two chapters, but I'd recommend that you read chapter 3. Not necessary, but I recommend it.

A/N- This chappie is cool. Even if it's maybe not the best chapter ever the plot really picks up. After this the story should really move. Of course it's going to be rather slow moving... I have a rather interesting plot figured out. Anyhow, before I give anything away, ON WITH THE MADNESS!

-Killing Me Softly-

-Chapter 4- Ironic-

Malfoy pulled the book out from under Hermione's head, stuck a bit of parchment in between the pages to mark her place, and put the book into her bag. The position the girl was in looked horribly uncomfortable, her legs were tucked tightly against her chest and her head was resting on her arm, which was bent at an odd angle. Despite this she looked happy and quite peaceful so Draco, in a rare moment of thoughtfulness, let her sleep. However, he was not about to wait around until she woke up. He gathered his books and left the library, leaving Hermione curled up in a ball on the floor.

When Hermione awoke, almost two hours later, it was to Pansy poking her in the face with a quill. A very sharp quill.

"Ack! Go away... I'm sleeping..."

"Not anymore!" the dog-like girl cackled.

"Alright, fine. What do you want?" Hermione snapped as she uncurled herself.

"I don't understand my homework. Help me." Pansy dropped her books on the table with a conceited smirk and stalked out of the library.

Hermione looked at the pile of books skeptically. It was a well-known fact among the students that Pansy, being to dumb (or to full of herself) to do the work herself, paid Blaise to do her homework for her. Despite the fact that refusing the work would blow her cover, Hermione was reluctant to help ('If you could call it that') the girl. She was, after all, Hermione Granger. And Hermione Granger didn't cheat. 'Well, you're not Hermione Granger right now. You're Blasé Zabini, and Blaise Zabini does Pansy's homework for her.' With a resigned sigh Hermione pulled out a Divination textbook and began to work.

--

The third day Hermione spent in Blaise's body she rose bright and early to check on the Slytherin in her closet. First she went down to breakfast to get her morning caffeine-infused drink. Then, taking the glass of iced-tea with her, she snuck up to her dorm. There wasn't much need for sneaking as Blaise often visited the head's dorm, but she wasn't exactly in the mood for Malfoy so early in the morning.

She walked up to the mermaid's portrait and, checking that no one was nearby, whispered a quick hello and the password. The portrait swung open and she slipped inside and up she stairs. Undoing the wards on her room she went in, smiling at the familiar surroundings. She opened the closet and was relieved to find Blaise still sleeping peacefully on the floor. Hit by a sudden wave of sympathy for the girl, she pulled a pillow and a blanket off her bed and a thick book from her shelf, then put them into the closet with Blaise.

"There you go. A blanket and a pillow, to make the floor more comfortable, and a book, just in case you wake up." Hermione had given the girl a potion to keep her from needing food for as long as she was in the closet before she locked her away. She had always been one to plan things out perfectly and this was no exception. Sure it was rather rash of her to have done this whole thing in the first place, but she had been planning for it since the beginning of the school year. She had taken care of everything, from making sure that Harry and Ron were out of the way (it had been she that had convinced them to go home for Christmas) to finding out Blaise's favorite color (orange, surprisingly enough).

She smiled sadly down at the girl and shut the closet door softly. She walked from the room and down the stairs, slamming straight into something pleasantly soft. 'Mmm... Smells like rain...' Coming to her senses she jumped back quickly, although there was a small part of her subconscious that realized that she liked the feeling that 'something soft' gave her very much.

"Watch where you're going Z," Malfoy smirked at Hermione. "You cold get... hurt." Hermione laughed shortly and took his hand in hers.

"I promise you I'll always be careful. We both know how horrible it would be if anything happened to me," she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. "Draco," she got down on one knee "promise me you'll love me forever? Draco, I want you to marry me." Looking up at him with a smirk she pulled an imaginary ring out of her skirt pocket and held her hand inches from Malfoy's face. "Look... it's shiny..." she whispered in her best Gollum voice. Malfoy chuckled quietly and pulled her to her feet.

"You're crazy, you know that right?" he said with a hint of a smile. "Come eat breakfast."

They walked out of the room together. As they walked down the hall the mermaid called after them. "Oh look! How cute! Did you just kiss?" Malfoy scowled darkly and Hermione laughed.

"Does she live to set you up with me?" she asked.

"No," Malfoy answered. "Not just you, everybody." He glared at Hermione as she doubled over laughing. When she had gathered herself together he said, "Z, I'm hungry. We're going to eat now." Hermione nodded, still smiling, and followed him down to the Great Hall.

After breakfast Hermione went to the library. She still had to finish Pansy's homework, besides, she wanted to do some reading up on the Polyjuice potion.

She settled down in her usual corner and pulled out a thick gray book on Divination. Pansy's assignment was to predict what her future would be like, whom she would marry, what her job would be, and the like. Laughing quietly to herself Hermione began to plot.

"Let's see... Pansy will work as a... secretary, yes that's good. And she'll be married to... Draco! And they can have ten kids. Ooh, and they'll live in Switzerland!" She spent the next ten minutes scribbling down various other 'facts' about Pansy's future life, feeling rather guilty for the many times she had scolded Harry and Ron for doing just what she was now. When she had finished Pansy's homework Hermione pulled out a heavy green volume with a black spine. Across the cover in flowing silver script it read Moste Potente Potions. She had gotten it with her last year's birthday money (plus a few empty threats to a vendor in Knockturn Alley) and treasured it greatly.

'Hmm... Slytherin colors...' Hermione thought absently as she turned to page 111, where it talked about the Polyjuice Potion and several variations on it. She began to read, Encyclopedia Granger running on overdrive.

Several hours later she had yet to make any progress. Every thing the book said she already knew and there was nothing that would help her get back to her natural form. She had more or less given up on finding any blackmail on Malfoy. At this point she just wanted to be back to her own body. Slamming her book shut she slipped it into her bag and left the library.

As she walked down the corridor she remembered that she still had to give Pansy her homework. She wandered through the halls, looking for Pansy, or Malfoy, or some other Slytherin that might be able to tell her where the girl was.

She was in a passageway of the dungeons when she heard Malfoy's slow, degrading drawl coming from around the corner. Walking towards the sound she pulled Pansy's homework out of her bag. She rounded the corner and watched for a moment as Malfoy, Pansy close behind him, walked in a slow circle around a little fair-haired second year.

"What are you doing down here Mudblood? Don't you know you're not welcome?" He smirked at the little girl who looked, frightened, down at her toes.

"I- I had detention..." the girl squeaked.

"Someone's been a very bad girl..." Pansy crowed happily.

"I-"

"Did we tell you to talk, Mudblood?" Malfoy cut her off.

"No," the little girl whispered so quietly she could barely be heard.

Just then, something in Hermione snapped. Hearing the girl's sad, resigned tone was, as the age-old expression goes, the last straw on the camel's back.

She stormed up to Malfoy, her bag bouncing rather painfully against her hip.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" she said icily, her voice soft and menacing.

"What's it to you?" Pansy said coolly.

"What's it to me? I'll tell you what- Argh, never mind. You're not worth my time." She turned to Malfoy. "Come with me. We need to talk." She pulled him past the little blonde girl and into an empty classroom, shoving Pansy's homework into her hands as she went.

"What did that girl ever do to you?" She shouted. Malfoy opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't let him. "What, she's a mudblood? Just because she's of different lineage than you, you think you can- You have no right to go around tormenting innocent little girls just because you're some big DEATH EATER BASTARD!" Her last words echoed in the high-ceilinged room.

"Damn you Blaise! You of all people should know I never wanted to be a Death Eater!" Malfoy yelled. Hermione doubted that there had ever been so loud a silence.

"Crap," she said simply, then turned and fled the room.

-End Chapter 4-

So, that's a wrap. The next chapter should be out very soon. In fact I already have it started. So, review and make me happy! BTW, the song Ironic is by Alanis Morissette (yay!). I used it cuz um... Well, I do have a good reason, but I don't feel like explaining it. If you really want to know why I used it I suppose you can drop me an e-mail and I'll tell you, but other than that you won't be getting an explanation.

THANKS (I forgot to do this last chappie so these replies are for both 2 and 3)

Laura- Hey Hon! Yes, Jen is my lovely little friend. But you are too! Thanks for pointing out that mistake, it's fixed now. I just type so fast (I swear, I do, you should see me) I don't really realize all the typos and stuff unless someone points them out. Thanks. I liked my rhyming too.

Black Rat- No, they have yet to be captured. I may have to do some Fiyero stealing as well... Tee hee...

winter-embers- Thank you. It wasn't supposed to be. Well, it was supposed to be sorta hinting at future romance, but not exactly romantic in itself... I'm not making any sense, am I?

colourfulcrayons- You've actually heard stuff about my story? From where? I never thought people would actually hear stuff about my story. I'm so flattered. Oh my gosh! I love Monty Python! Heh heh, you know what's funny? My spell check says that 'Oh my gosh!' should be 'Oh gosh my!' 'Tis very interesting. Oh, BTW, cute penname. Thanks for the review! It made me giggle...

XXXpinkkitty5467- Funny as that may be, that isn't the plot line. Of course now he knows it's not Blaise, but you don't know (or aren't supposed to know) that he knows yet. You'll 'find out' he knows in a few chapters. Thanks for the review! I'm continuing! See? I really am!

blackhorse darkrider- Hey. Thanks for reviewing. –wink wink- Of course she's wondering! Wouldn't you be? But she also knows that she'll most likely stay as Blaise for a while because of the reasons listed in previous chapters. Harry and Ronald aren't wondering anything cuz they're at the Burrow. Don't you pay attention? JK. It's alright if you don't Hon. :)

So everyone, REVIEW! And someone, BETA FOR ME! Please? I'll give you the last cupcake from my brother's birthday... On second thoughts... MY CUPCAKE! Woah, this chappie is 8 pages in Word, 7 of which are the actual story. Cool... I deserve an award. LIKE A REVIEW!!! Tee hee...