One day I'll write a real fanfic, in the meantime I exploit Snake for his cardboard box obsession. I do not own Pliskin, but I do have a cardboard box somehwere in my house.
Blood stained the walls of the Transformer room in Strut B. Dead soldiers, Navy Seals, littered the cold, metal floor. It was silent except for the clicking sound of a lighter being lit. Iroquois Pliskin stared at the tip of his cigarette as it started to glow red. He inhaled the bittersweet smoke and smiled a little. At least there was some comfort in the wispy smoke. But it had been the last in the pack, and he knew the comfort would only last another 3 minutes. What he wouldn't do to be home. Oh well. No point in wasting energy on wishing for things that would never happen.
Sighing, he pulled a big cardboard box out of the place he usually kept them (a place which remains a mystery to all Metal Gear Solid fans), and set it down in front of him.
"What do you think?" He asked it, motioning around the room with his cigarette.
The box remained silent.
"Yeah," he sighed again and remained quiet for some time. "So what do you think of that kid Raiden?" He finally said and then stared at the box as it told him exactly what it thought.
Pliskin laughed. "You're right. He does have big thighs. Do you think its cause he's uh…" He raised his eyebrows, and then laughed. "I think so too. And his ass is pretty nice. Firm and round, you know?"
The box said nothing.
"Oh, come on!" Pliskin reached over and dragged the box closer to him, stroking the edge gently with his fingers. "You know I was just joking around, don't get so mad." He flicked the finished cigarette away and leaned down to hug the box. "You know I love you." He kissed it gently.
The box still said nothing.
"Remember all the fun times we had?" Pliskin asked, stroking the edge absentmindedly. "True, it was a little scary at times, but we made it through together. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. So how could you think I would even consider a kid like Raiden over you?"
Well, he did have a point there.
Pliskin kissed the box again, and then stood up and put it back in its place. "We'll make it through this mission together, and then we'll be free to spend the rest of our lives together." And with that, he picked up his gun and left.