"Who's the chick with the guns?" Ash asked rather nonchalantly, considering the situation.
"The name's Hood. B.B. Hood." She grinned maniacally over the barrel of her Uzis.
"She's a bounty hunter." Mei-Ling scoffed contemptuously.
"B.B. Hood?" Ash said, sounding utterly perplexed. "Where the hell did you get a name like that?"
"And I suppose you think 'deadites' is better?" Hsien-Ko said, placing her hands on her hips as if she had taken offense at Ash's statement for the blonde haired bounty hunter.
"At least it doesn't sound like it came out of a kid's fairy tale." Ash threw back at her.
"Hey!" B.B. Hood screamed, firing her Uzis into the air. Ash and the other's all flinched back to reality, and addressed the situation gravely now.
"What do you want?" Donovan asked, the calm in his voice never faltering.
"The bunch of you are wanted" she said, her guns not lowering an inch, "And I don't know who you are," she inclined her head towards Ash, "but if you have anything to do with all the craziness going on, I'm sure you're worth something."
"Hey, let's talk this over first..." Ash said, trying his best to carefully reach up his back for his shotgun. But to eyes as sharp as B. B. Hood's, the slight twitches were obvious.
"Make a single move, and I'll blow you're brains out." She said simply, and fired a few rounds into the ground at Ash's feet. He jumped, and his hand, which had just managed to grasp the butt of his gun, flew into the air, tearing the weapon from its holster at his back, sending it flying into the air. "Now, all of you, hands in the air. We're going for a walk." She gestured with her guns, emphasizing her orders.
Anita frowned, and clutched her doll tighter to her chest. Her eyes narrowed and focused on the Uzis clutched in the crazed woman's hands. A mysterious blue aura began to vibrate around the guns, and they were quickly yanked from Hood's hands.
In a flash, it all happened. Mei-Ling swept down and scooped Anita into her arms, ducking quickly for safety. Donovan and Hsien-Ko leapt into action, diving toward B.B. Hood, but she reached into the basket dangling from her arm, and withdrew a pair of shiny red apples. She bit the stems from them and tossed them into the air, and they exploded in bursts of fire and smoke.
Ash ducked below the explosions, and crawled along the ground, trying to retrieve his shotgun. He had gone no more than a couple of feet when he found himself face to face with a pair of military style boots. He looked up those boots, and then up the shapely legs that followed, and then up some more, into the twin barrels of the Uzis, retrieved and back in the hands of the blonde woman, whose eyes were now bulging, bloodshot and infuriated. Her chest rose and fell in strained breaths of rage as she slammed an ammunition cartridge into one of the guns, and held it closer to Ash's face.
"Uh...you're boot laces are undone?" he said, hoping vainly she would fall for it. But she didn't, and her finger began to slowly pressed onto the trigger. "Hey, think of a number between one and five!" Ash said quickly, "Was it two?" and with that he promptly poked two fingers of his remaining hand up into B. B. Hood's eyes. She shrieked and stumbled back, her Uzis firing into the air. She growled curses as her vision cleared, and she was confronted by Ash, on his feet, shotgun in hand.
He held it up, and pulled the trigger. The buckshot tore into the basket, ripping a large hole into it, and the weapons cleverly disguised amongst the food tumbled out at her feet. She stared down at it, startled, and then started to protest when Ash slammed his fist hard into her face. She fell back, and blacked out.
Ash blew at the barrel of his gun, the smoke clearing away, and slid it back into its holster. He pointed a finger down at the unconscious bounty hunter. "Never, never mess with a man with a boomstick!" he commanded.
"Jeez, you've got a stupid name for everything, don't you?" Hsien-Ko said, dripping with sarcasm as she and Donovan walked up to him. Mei-Ling also came, Anita walking alongside her. Mei-Ling looked down at the unconscious bounty hunter, and then smiled warmly at their new companion.
"All right" she said, "I am impressed." Ash smiled, and winked.

"Well, well, Dimitri Maximoff, come down from on high to mingle with the commoners." Morrigan chuckled to herself.
"What do you want?" Lilith demanded, pointing a finger accusingly at the towering vampire.
"Morrigan" Dimitri said, ignoring Lilith, "Such deception and thievery. From you I had expected better." He shook his head like a parent scolding their child. Morrigan just scoffed.
"All is fair in love and war, Lord Maximoff."
"Besides, finder's keepers!" Q. Bee added in. "You want it, you gotta fight for it!"
"I've no desire to waste my time or energy squashing the few of you" Dimitri said, "I merely off you all warnings: leave that book to me, or you shall most certainly suffer for it." With that, Dimitri wrapped his cloak back about himself, and vanished into the shadows of the night.
"Jerk." Lilith muttered, and turned to address her sister, only to find that the larger, more statuesque vampire had vanished with Dimitri. Lilith looked at Q. Bee, who returned her confused expression. "You know..." Lilith said, holding her arms open as if to show there was no danger to the insectoid darkstalker, "Maybe you and I can work something out..."

The woman huffed and wiped some sweat from her forehead with one fuzzy hand. Her tail flicked with annoyance, and she looked around at all the other crates that still had to be loaded onto the train. She sighed and leaned against one, muttering to herself.
"Who would have thought that catnip would run out so fast?" she sighed and crouched down, ready to hoist the crate she was struggling with again.
"Need a hand?" a masculine voice said, and the crate was lifted away from her. She looked up, and smiled into the eyes that looked down at her. She stood up and moved closer to the man.
"Thanks John." She leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. He smiled at her, and she touched her face to his, a soft purr rising from her throat. "I'm glad you decided to come on this tour with me. I couldn't stand to be away from you for so long."
"Its my pleasure, kitten." He said, calling her by the familiar pet name. She smiled and watched as he carried the crate up the ramp, into the train. Then she looked up at the sky, examining the dark clouds, trying to find the moon. It would not be long before his next transformation.
"Maybe we can lend a hand." A familiar voice offered. Felicia spun, and was confronted by a group of figures walking out from the shadows toward her. She dropped into a battle ready stance, but her tension vanished as she recognized the people walking to her.
"Mei-Ling, Hsie-Ko!" she shouted. She ran up to them and threw her arms simultaneously around both of them, nearly barreling them over. They both laughed, and returned the friendly hug. She addressed the next figure. "Donovan, how are you big guy?" Donovan's face remained a mask of passivity, but he nodded his head to her in a friendly fashion. Then she knelt down to look into the eyes of the small girl. "Hi Anita, how are you doing?" The corner's of the girl's mouth turned up slightly. Then Felicia rose, and found herself face to face with an unfamiliar face. "Um...I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure, mister...?"
"Ash. Just call me Ash." He said, offering her a charming grin and extending his hand. Felicia smiled, and took it, expecting a shake, and was pleasantly surprised when Ash instead bent his head down and planted a small kiss on her paw. She giggled slightly, while Hsien-Ko rolled he eyes.
"Nice to meet you Ash." She turned back to the two sisters. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Well, we need your help, Felicia..." Mei-Ling began.
"Oh, I wish I could you guys..." Felicia said, interrupting, "But I'm in the middle of a tour right now, I don't have time for any adventures."
"This is bigger than any tour, lady" Ash said, "We're talking heavy duty, end of the world stuff here. Unless you want to be singing to an audience of deadites."
"What?" Felicia said, her ears lowering slightly in confusion and irritation.
As if on cue, there was the sound of scrambling along the roof of the train. All heads swung up to see the dark figure leap from the room and land at the end of the platform. It rose to its feet and strode into the light. Felicia gasped when she saw mutilated features that started hungrily at them. "Is...is that..." she said, her eyes the size of dinner plates.
"Yeah. Here we go again." Ash groaned and yanked his shotgun back from its holster, ready for action.

Well, finally updated true believers! I can't say how sorry I am for taking so long to get back to work on this fic. But, the important thing is, I am now, and will not stop until it is done! I will try to get in a couple of updates a week until completion. Now, I would like to answer a question posted by one kind reviewer. This is for Louis The Rogue: yes, this fic is indeed posted twice. I also put it up under the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness selection in the Movies section here on It is under the title "Book of the Darkstalkers." I had wanted to use the same title twice, but the site would not allow it, so I just used a slightly different one. Hope that clears up any confusion.

Keep reading, true believers!