Disclaimer- I don't own Fake.
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Chapter 10: Can I Do It?
Berkeley and I are going out tonight. Tonight I need to break it off with him. Ryo and Bikky are going to Carol's house for dinner. Carol is making me go, even though I told her no. I really don't want to break up with Berkeley, but I want Ryo back.
As I drive to Berk's apartment, I sat in silence. I'm too nervous to listen to the radio. As I pulled up, I put on a smile and turn on the radio. Oh great. It's Ryo's favorite song. That helps.
I turn off the car and head up to the building. I can do this. I head up the stairs. I know I can do this. Half way up I see that oh-so familiar smile headed my way. I smile back. He hooks his arm around mine and we head out side.
"Where we headed tonight?" He asks, now sliding his arm around my waist.
I tense. If I'm gonna break up with him I can't have him making a scene. "Um, my place sound good?" I ask.
Beak groans. "Aw come on, Dee! Let's go to a bar or something." He says. I don't need to go there yet. That's for after I tell you its over.
I turn to him. "Listen, we've really gotta talk." I say bluntly.
Berkeley smiles. "I know." He says. He grabs me and kisses me. I feel the tears fill my eyes. Do I really wanna break it of with him? I throw my arms around him and slip my tongue into his mouth. He breaks it off and I slowly open my eyes.
I let go. "Let's go out to eat."
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We walk into the restaurant and head straight to a booth. I collapse into the seat across from Berk. I pull out my cigarettes and we order a beer.
"Dee, I wanna move further with our relationship." Berkeley says, while I take a drink.
I choked on my beer. "Um...I gotta think about that." I manage to choke out. NO! He wants to go further and I wanna break it off! This is going to be so fucking hard to do.
I feel a rough tapping on my shoulder. I turn around to see Carol standing there. Damn I forgot that she works here. She gives me this forced smile that I've see on Ryo so many times before.
"Dee, care to join me on my break?" She grits though her teeth.
I look over at Berk. He smirks. "Oh just go!" He says.
I grab my cigarettes and we head outside. I sit on the concrete and light up a cigarette. I look up at her. "What are you so pissed about?" I ask.
"What are you doing?! I heard what Rose said. You two need to break up!" She explodes.
"I know...but..." I trail.
"But what?" She snaps.
"Why do I have to swoon him back? He should be on his hands and knees begging for me to forgive him for fucking everything up between us. I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to return to me. It's annoying and I'm wasting my time!" I yell.
I shot up. "I wasted two years of my fucking life for him. TWO YEARS, CAROL! What did I get?! I get 6 months of heaven and then to be denied to feel like that again. You NEVER had to wait for someone like I did. You don't get it! With Berkeley, I can move the fuck on!" I growl.
Carol looks down at her feet. "You've had that built up for awhile, haven't you?" She asks.
I nod and take a long puff off of my cigarette. I begin to pace. "You don't understand. I love Ryo, you and I both damn well know, he's not coming back. I've found someone will love me back a-and be there for me. I've finally become happy again. I don't want to feel like I did." I admit.
Carol come over to me and pats my arm. "It is pretty wrong of us to take your happiness away so that there may be a possibility for someone else to be happy. I'm really sorry, Dee." She says.
I shrug. "Am I still aloud to go to the dinner Sunday?" I ask.
She nods. "If you still want to."
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Authors Note: Howdy everybody! How we all doing today? Ok Ryo is finally gonna have an appearance next chapter! I gotta question, do you guys wanna lemon scene? I don't know if I wanna add one but I'm just throwing the idea out for future chapters. I wont put one in if you all don't want it. I wouldn't do that to you guys. Oh I'm really sorry if Dee is acting remotely familiar to Brian from Queer as Folk. I've been watching that for 10 days straight. (Brain is fried) Gotta go. Later.