9. Ruto

It was already evening, I noticed as I materialized at Lake Hyrule, and who knew how long it would take to awaken the sage and defeat whatever monster had been sent to guard the Temple. But sleep wasn't really an option for me at the moment. Too much adrenaline and testosterone were pumping through my system to make it even close to possible.

But I didn't know where the Temple of Water was, much less how to get into it. Well, at least it would be easier to search the lake with the Zora Tunic.

Oh wait, the lake is dry, guess I don't need it.

Wait, what?

"Oh my god! The lake is dry!"

"You're only just now noticing that?"

"Dry, all of it!"

"Not all of it, there's water blocking the entrance to the Water Temple."

"How can the lake be dry!"

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Do you think it's because of the ice?"

"Yes…"

"I can't believe the lake is dry!"

"I'm going over here now…"

"Look at this! Look how dry the soil is! The lake must have been dry for ages!"

"Wow you're dumb sometimes."

"What?"

"That got your attention!" Navi crowed.

"Navi the-"

"Yes, I know, the lake is dry."

"That's not what I was going to say," I denied quickly.

"Shut up Link."

For no reason other than that I had no idea what to say and was fairly certain I'd been babbling, I shut up.

"You are mildly hysterical."

I opened my mouth to protest.

"Shush."

I closed my mouth.

"Take several deep breaths."

I did.

"Now put on that Zora's Tunic and let's go swimming."

Ten minutes later we were inside the Water Temple. Apparently a Zora in the lake when I was a kid had told me where the Temple was, I hadn't remembered but Navi had. Navi always listens to everyone. So she led me to the entrance, I unblocked the door, and we went inside.

Even before entering it had been obvious why the iron boots were important. They were heavy, and would keep my feet firmly on the ground while walking underwater. Very useful.

As I got to the biggest room in the Water Temple, I noticed that the entrance seemed to be on the top floor, and the rest of the temple was full of water.

"This is…different," I muttered. The top floor, where I was, had nothing but locked doors. I'm fairly adept at picking locks, but I wanted to explore the places that I had easy access too before breaking into the places I didn't.

So I sank to the very bottom of the three-story-high room and found an unlocked passage on the eastern side. I went down the hallway and entered a room to find…

"Gack!" Ruto? Luckily I only thought her name, didn't say it out loud, because if she had known I was reacting to her presence, not simply the surprise of finding someone there, she probably would have beaten the crap out of me. And I would have let her. Because I can't beat up someone who has helped me.

Ruto flapped her fins at me and shifted her hips in a sultry way. Despite the fins, scales, and horrible squid head, Ruto was hot. It was very disturbing, but what she said to me somehow made it all worse.

"Oh...you... If I'm right...Link!" she leaned closer. "You're Link, aren't you? It's me, your fiancée, Ruto! Princess of the Zoras!"

I very nearly drowned then, despite the Zora Tunic. At the word "fiancée" I inhaled sharply and tried to say about nineteen expletives all at the same time, effectively choking me.

"I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago!"

I was far too shocked to say anything.

"You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting for these seven long years... But now is not the time to talk about love... I'm sure you've already seen it! Zora's Domain--totally frozen! A young man named Sheik saved me from under the ice... I notice you were conveniently absent."

I made a strangled sound.

"But my father and the other Zoras have not...yet..." She shook her head. "I want to save them all! I want to save Zora's Domain! You! You have to help me! This is a request from me, the woman who is going to be your wife! Link, you have to help me destroy the evil monster in the Temple, Okay?"

I wanted to say that I was going to do that anyway, but I also wanted to say things like, "Are you fscking crazy!" and, "What the hell made you think I was your fiancé!" so I didn't say anything.

"Inside the Water Temple, there are three places where you can change the water level. I'll lead the way. Follow me, quickly!" She did a little hop up off the floor and swam straight up, making me notice for the first time that the room we were in had no ceiling.

I did not follow Ruto. I never really had any intention of following Ruto. I didn't particularly care what happened to Ruto, I just would never beat her up.

I did, however, desperately want to convince her that I would not, would never, ever, EVER, even consider marrying her. Ever. The very idea of it was dizzying.

Oh wait, I had stopped breathing, that's why I was dizzy.

I started breathing again and turned to Navi. "Please tell me that didn't just happen."

Navi sniggered. "You could be king of the Zoras…"

"Oh! God no!"

"You'd better follow her."

"Are you kidding! No way!"

"She probably has information you don't, you might as well go with her for now."

"But-"

"You don't have to marry her, just work with her."

"Fine," I walked out to the middle of the room, "but I will not be king of the Zoras."

Navi sniggered.

Luckily (from my point of view) Ruto was nowhere to be seen when I emerged from the water at the top of the room. Instead I was faced with a triforce symbol on the wall, and a rather obvious action. See the triforce symbol, play the Melody of the Royal Family, that is the rule.

So I did, and all the water drained out of the Temple. Odd, to say the least.

There wasn't really anything too difficult in Temple. Sure the clams were annoying, and those spiky metal ball things were too, and changing the water level all the time got boring real fast, but it wasn't that hard.

At least, not until the waterfall. And the Like Like. And then…

The room seemed to go on forever. The shallow water that covered the floor reflected everything like a mirror, and the walls were either non-existent, or obscured by white fog, making it impossible to see them.

But there was a door in the non-existent far wall, beyond a small island with a tree on it, and I headed for it.

My reflection in the glassy water was disturbingly clear. The feeling of walking on a mirror was disorienting, and the way the ceiling, like the walls, seemed to go on into eternity, made it look like I was walking over a bottomless expanse of air. Very creepy.

I turned my gaze away from the ground and went straight for the door, crossing the small island in the process. But when I got to the door it was locked, and I couldn't find a way to open it from the inside.

I turned away from that door and started to head for the one I'd come in, but as I turned my eyes drifted down and I noticed that the illusion of walking on an empty expanse was even worse.

My reflection was gone.

Oh wait, there it was, standing on that little island and waiting for me to come back for it. I drew my sword.

Dark Link, as Navi named him, was armed only with a sword and shield, for which I was supremely grateful. Since, as my reflection, he mimicked my every move, it was incredibly hard to land a blow. I tried a thrust, which I doubted he'd be able to block, but he jumped up on top of my sword and tried to take my head off!

That shadowy bastard seriously tried to kill me, which meant it would be perfectly all right for me to try and kill him.

Since he only seemed to have the sword I figured my big honkin' hammer could take him down fairly well. When I smacked the ground with the Megaton Hammer Dark Link seemed to…fall off the ground and down into the endless expanse beneath us. It was very creepy, but at least he was gone. Until he appeared behind me.

Except for that the Megaton Hammer worked fairly well, but it was still unbelievably creepy fighting myself. It wasn't like looking in a mirror, for starters Dark Link was…well, dark. For another, he was real. Not like a mirror image, like a real person who just happened to look exactly like me. It was creepy.

Finally, I wore him down. He was slow, slower than me, and that gap in speed gave me just enough time to run him through with the Master Sword and watch him dissolve into shadow.

As Dark Link dissolved into shadow the rest of the room, the invisible walls, the mirror-water, the tiny island, dissolved into normalcy.

"That was creepy," I said.

"Yes," Navi agreed.

The door was unlocked now, and in the next room I found something very cool. The Longshot. It was cool both because it was a longer more powerful version of the Hookshot, and because I didn't have to deal with a ghost to get it. I hate ghosts. But you knew that already.

Geysers, swift currents, tektites, boulders, a return to the waterfall room, and what I can only describe as a sadistic room of death plagued my steps through the rest of the Temple. The Longshot helped a very great deal, especially in the waterfall room, what with the moving platforms and all.

The north door on the top floor led to a room with a steep slope full of blade traps that led to a Big Scary Door. The type that enormous monsters usually hide behind. After much trouble and much shin-slashing (damn blade traps) I made it to the top and entered the door.

There was nothing in the room but a few platforms and a deep layer of water on the floor. I hopped across to a platform and looked around. I couldn't say why exactly, but I felt edgy.

"You ever get the feeling you're being watched?" I mused aloud. Then I spotted something moving in the water. "By a fish?"

"That's not a fish…"

The "fish" rose up above the water level then, taking the water with it. Navi was right, as usual. Whatever that thing was, it was not a fish.

"Morpha," Navi bob-nodded. "I thought so. It's an aquatic ameoba, Link, the nucleus is the weak point."

A watery tendril was reaching for me and making me rather nervous. "The what?" I asked hurriedly.

"The nucleus. The fish-thing! Link!"

Morpha had grabbed me in a clear, but very solid, tentacle and was shaking me about. It wasn't pleasant.

I struggled to get free, or at least swing my sword, but my arms were pinned firmly to my sides, and stayed that way until the ameoba released me. Against the spikes on the walls.

I decided not to get grabbed again.

The Longshot, predictably, was indispensable for fighting the main monster of the Temple. It was the only thing that could reach Morpha's nucleus, dragging it out of the ameoba-body and in range of my sword. Cool.

Finally Morpha dried up, and I entered the Chamber of the Sages…

"Link!"

"Waugh!"

"I would have expected no less from the man I chose to be my husband. Zora's Domain and its people will eventually return to their original state."

"Ruto?" She was standing in front of me, on the blue pedestal, smiling away. Oh hell, she was the Sage of Water.

"As a reward...I grant my eternal love to you."

I choked again.

"Well, that's what I want to say, but I don't think I can offer that now. I have to guard the Water Temple as the Sage of Water... That's right, I'm the Sage of Water!"

I'd just figured that out on my own, but I didn't say anything. I should have figured it out sooner. Should have, but didn't.

"Link, I'm so happy to see you, I was afraid you would get lost. But after I awakened as a sage I just had to go to the chamber, you know how it is, and I couldn't show you around."

I said nothing, because there was nothing to say. I was waiting for her to give me the Water Medallion, the sooner I got that the sooner I could get back to saving Zelda. That was the point after all.

Ruto looked at me strangely. "What's wrong?"

I didn't know how to answer.

She frowned. "You...You're searching for the princess, Zelda?"

I was about to agree, but she didn't stop to let me answer.

"Hah! You can't hide anything from me!"

I wasn't trying to hide it, but…

"Whatever, it doesn't matter, it wouldn't have been practical anyway."

I decided then that I was just going to give up on trying to understand Ruto. I had also realized that I hadn't said any real words to her except for her name just now.

"Princess Zelda... She's alive. I can sense it...so don't be discouraged."

That helped.

"I can tell that nothing will stop you in your quest for justice and peace... You must take this Medallion... Take it respectfully!" she raised her hands and passed the Water Medallion across to me. I felt the power spread through me, then before I could thank Ruto, the light took over my sight and I left the Chamber of the Sages with Ruto's last words echoing in my ears.

"If you see Sheik, please give him my thanks, OK?"

I landed on the island that was above the Water Temple, with a good view of the lightening sky and the rapidly-filling lake.

"As the water rises, the evil is vanishing from the lake... Link, you did it!" a familiar voice said from behind me.

I turned around, smiling. "Didn't feel like scaring me that time?"

"I just came to congratulate you," Sheik smiled back. He was keeping his distance, but looked happy to see me. "I...believe that you are going to save this world..."

"You're the one who deserves congratulations Sheik, I think my fiancée is into you."

"Into me! Wait, what was that?"

I grinned in a way that I hoped was infuriating.

"You have a fiancée?"

I laughed. "Oh man, you should see your face!"

"You have a fiancée?"

"No. Well, not one that I knew about."

"You have a fiancée!"

"You okay Sheik?" He was taking this a lot harder than I would have expected.

"Umm…" Sheik shook his head as though to clear it. "Yeah fine, sure. YOU HAVE A FIANCÉE?"

"Calm down, geez." I sighed. "I do not have a fiancée. I never had a fiancée. Princess Ruto had a thing for me and seemed to think we were engaged. I think she's over her delusions though, because she told me to give you her thanks."

"Oh hell." Sheik sat down on the ground, rather abruptly. "I remember Ruto from when I saved her. She's a bit…" He trailed off.

"Yeah," I agreed.

Sheik stood up again and looked at me. He cocked his head. "So… how far did you get?"

"Sheik!" I could feel my cheeks flaming. "Are you kidding! I didn't- I wouldn't- I don't even like her!"

Sheik was laughing. "I got the upper hand again!" he crowed.

I muttered angrily. "She likes you now, remember?"

"Yeah, but I've got a legitimate reason for dumping her."

"Really? What?"

He smiled mysteriously. "Maybe I'll tell you someday."

"Dammit Sheik!"

"I love making you say that," Sheik grinned.

"You…"

Sheik's eyes were then drawn to something over my left shoulder. His gorgeous red eyes widened. "Woah."

I turned and looked. The sun was just rising over the mountains in the east and was reflecting off the water in the now-full lake in an incredibly beautiful way. "Woah," I agreed.

"Look at that, Link..." Sheik said softly. "Together, you and Princess Ruto destroyed the evil monster! Once again, the lake is filled with pure water. All is as it was here."

I stared at the water for several minutes before I turned back to Sheik.

He was gone.

There was a splash and I turned just in time to see Sheik's feet disappearing under the water.

"Dammit Shiek," I muttered.