The Way of The Pen Pen Chapter 2: This Chap Has a Plot!, an evangelion fanfic

Ok, sorry about the first chapter but if you read past the warning point, then I doubt you're reading this chap. I did tell you not to!!! Anyway, there Will be a plot in this chap. Anyway, back to the basics.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Evangelion.

Happy now? You better be cause I just waisted 1.5 seconds to do that. I don't you dare tell me that dosn't count and I'm going to be sued. Besides, how many people will actually read this? So don't you give me any bs and scroll down to the part that let's you make me get in trouble.

Also, please don't just go to this chap. to give me bad reveiws and flame cause I did explain why it suddenly became even worse then it was. K?

I do not use spell check...

----- The Penguinhood outpost Alpha Gamma Rada 34A6 -----

Pen Pen meeped as he entered his boss's dim lit room. As usual, the Boss had his back faced toward the door. 'Why cant I get a nice suit like his?' wondered the unfortunate penguin as he creeped in. 'I musn't waddle away. I musn't waddle away. I musn't wad- wait, that's just like that ruck ( bad German word) I know.'

"Do you know why I called you in here?" questioned the Boss as he took a puff at the cigar.

"Uh..... you wanted to play XBOX?'

"Sigh. Apparently, the technecian bums were to busy stuffing their faces with Captain Bill's shrimp burgers and forgot to bring an important peice of technology from the Humans that was needed in our new Death Ray ver.7.6 anti-galaxy model that is so vital to all our plans that it could end all shrimp kind!" The Boss said while keeping his calm posture. "That means there would be no more of Captain Bill's shrimp burgers for them to stuff there faces in! Do you see how horrible that is? We must need it but we can only keep it if we throw it away, which makes absolutely no sense at all!"

Pen Pen immediatly gasped as he heard the shocking fact: No more shrimp flavored alcohol. Suddenly the world turned dark black and too large for Pen Pen to handle ."The world as we know it is over!" Yelled elite penguin spy. "Who will inspire us with their shiny tin bottles with extremely harmful toxic fluids that may kill an animal on contact yet is so nice and soothing despite their horrible hang-overs. Who will guide us into the fray of battling with the bottle opener that is every penguin's worst nightmare if there was not you, my only reason to live with those humans who made you the guiding thing that reflects shiny lights at me so I may find the will to live! WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY! Oh my life and soul burns in pain at the mere thought of one of your many cousins gone which include: twist, soft, plain, strong, apple, cinnimen, shrimp and more even though you can eaisily cause in one way or another: diaheria, head-aches, shoulder pains, loss of beaks, loss of intelligence, sesure, heart attack, nightmares of fluffy vicous bunnies, change of sex, gain of the other gender, death, insanity, stupidity, hunger for human waste and urine, raving for asparagus, loss of gender, Parkinson's disease, writing disgraceful fics that the arthor found out the hard way, AIDS, Influenza, Coccidioidomycosis, Uterince Cancer (shudders), loss of taste, exploding from swallowing a match, and much much more!"

Suddenly an awkward silence fell in the room as Pen Pen said that all in one breathe within 6.8 seconds...

"Okay..." was all that the almighty Boss could say for a very long time.

hehehe

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Hehehehe! That was chap.2 part 1, why was it so short? There's these things called a writer's block and a hang-over, and I'm under 18! Also, it isn't that smart im my personal opinion to break out of a mental institute holding a sub-machine gun and a knife in the other hand.(again for someone... dun look at me!) Also, did you know that if I lived in Thailand and you called the cops in the Western Hemisphere, they would probably never find me because then I would be living in Thailand!

hehehehe

choke choke

gasp gasp

huhuh

rbgl.

silence

---- Chapter 2 part 2 (hey, 2 2's!) ----

Misato was still out drinking at some random bar weilding her gun with a few spare clips at her side along with a giant Heavy Machine Gunusing that used nuclear rounds in the other. Obviously, neither Shinji or Pen Pen liked the person who paid for their dwelling to have such an arnament being carried around when she got drunk. Espesially with a katana and a satchel of incenary grenades too.

That ment it was Pen Pen's job to occasionally follow her into those bars and sit at a corner. But he had to order a few beers at least in order for a penguin weilding a rocket launcher to not seem suspicious. He really didn't like hiding in that bright pink box that said in Bold Flashing neon signs: A killer penguin is not really hiding under this box so please go away right now before the penguin that is not really hiding under this box gets annoyed and kills you and causes a scene for absolutely no good reason and don't forget to thank the EVA crew for making up such a great thing for that nonexistant drunk killer penguin to hide under without you knowingthat a non-existant drunk killer penguin with a wicked rocket launcher that litterally screams "Painful and Deadly"was really there.

'Thank the powers above that people are really this stupid' mumured Pen Pen as he went into another random bar named: Club Pleasure. As usually Misato waved her guns around wildly and literally scared the crap out of everyone just before she pressed the triggers at everyone. Luckily, a thing called safeties prevented the entire neigborhood from being obliterated.

"Shit, it's damnation incarnate again!" Yelled the bartender who wet himself. "Triple wages to anyone who takes my job for an hour and still lives by then!" he screamed as he threw his uniform to a random sober guy.

Before the poor fellow could say "Fu-!" Misato was up to him and pointed her HMG at him. "I'd like another barrel of booze now....." she said drunkily.

'At least I know no one will try to hit on her for a while now at least.' Thought Pen Pen. However, that "while" was not even2 minutes (Sure, she is hot -KICK- ow... ( 15 minutes time elapse) but you'ld think that at least the people would wait for 5 minutes before trying to hit on someone with a HMG and all that fancy weaponry that could wipe out Angels in 1 hit, even if they were drunk.) and to make matters worse, the local druglord along with at least 500 people armed with sub-machine guns swarmed the street.

Just like anyone sensible, Pen Pen made a loud MEEP! and hid under that pink box that said in Bold Flashing neon signs: A killer penguin is not really hiding under this box so please go away right now before the penguin that is not really hiding under this box gets annoyed and kills you and causes a scene for absolutely no good reason and don't forget to thank the EVA crew for making up such a great thing for that nonexistant drunk killer penguin to hide under without you knowingthat a non-existant drunk killer penguin with a wicked rocket launcher that litterally screams "Painful and Deadly" was really there.

One of the grunts holding a rocket that also literraly screamed "Painful and Deadly" walked up to Pen Pen's hiding place and said "Is a killer penguin really hiding under here?"

Pen Pen immdeiatly said "Of course not! Can't you read?"

"No I can't! wah!" cried the grunt as he ran away.

"Fhewph! I didn't know that they were all that stupid! They really are stupid ugly bastards!"

"Wait, are you sure?

"Of course!"

"Then who just talked to me?"

"Mr. Wuggles!"

"I love you darling Wuggles!!!!" yelled the male grunt. "Just checking to see if no one stole my idea of a rocket that literally screams 'Painful and Deadly!'"

Twitch

BOOM! Pen Pen threw the pink box that said in Bold Flashing neon signs: A killer penguin is not really hiding under this box so please go away right now before the penguin that is not really hiding under this box gets annoyed and kills you and causes a scene for absolutely no good reason and don't forget to thank the EVA crew for making up such a great thing for that nonexistant drunk killer penguin to hide under without you knowingthat a non-existant drunk killer penguin with a wicked rocket launcher that litterally screams "Painful and Deadly"was really there into the grunt at over 500 kps.

"THAT WAS MY IDEA YOU UGLY SON OF A B!&#!"

Silence.

"oops..."

Drastic Sad Old War Theme Etc. music begins to play in the background.

"fudgesicles..."

Just then, Misato's HMG safetie switch was so flabbergasted that is fell off, causing EVERYONE's jaw to drop with an exception of the drunk Misato herself.

'Shotgun pumping sounds'

'laser pointer activation sounds'

"Multiple N2 Mines launch detected" (think Starcraft)

"Third imapact strength cubed detected"

Hey, that hasn't happened yet in this story! You're not suppose to know that!

'Battle music switches to armageddon styled music'

uh oh....

this is not good...

'meeping sounds detected'

'wetting of pants detected'

wah, I want my mommy!

if only I went to school today.

Pen Pen, you did make sure they were only Black Napalm rounds, not N3 mines, right?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!

Please Read&Reveiw >:) or I'll delete the next chap. that will be on here within24 hours of thetime this came out!!