A/N: I didn't intend to write a second part to this, but it largely wrote itself. This is set some time after the first part. No offence is meant to anybody by this story.

Part 2

Jon plonked an empty bottle in front of Trip. Trip looked up at his friend's smirking face with slightly amused derision. "A precaution," Jon said.

Trip rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Captain."

"You realise you would have been screwed if you were a woman?" Jon said as he started the shuttle pod moving.

Trip snorted. "Don't let Hoshi hear you say something like that, I guarantee you won't be able to go for weeks."

"Well, I suppose there's one upside to your problem," Jon started.

"I don't have a problem," Trip protested.

"There is one upside," Jon continued over the top of him, "you can always give the doctors a urine sample."

Trip shook his head in bemusement. "Why would I need to give the doctors urine samples?"

"Or maybe you can sell your urine samples on the black market." Jon was trying hard not to laugh.

"Have you been smoking something, Captain?" Trip asked. He looked at the bottle. An empty bottle. An empty bottle of bourbon. His stomach dropped. "Have you been drinking? Are you flying under the influence?"

Jon laughed. "No."

"I'm not sure whether I believe you," Trip said suspiciously.

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Trip leaned forward and sniffed, causing Jon to laugh harder.

"Well, I can't smell any alcohol," Trip muttered unhappily. "So what has made you so damn hyperactive?"

"Red cordial."

"Red cordial?"

"One of the crew suggested that Chef bring some onboard. Apparently it has lots of red food colouring, which makes you hyperactive. He didn't mention that before I'd drunk it."

Trip closed his eyes and shook his head with amusement. "So how much did you drink?"

"Six glasses."

"Six!"

Jon giggled again. "I'm kidding. Four. In the last two hours."

"Somehow I don't think I'm going to be the one needing this." Trip plonked the empty bottle in front of Jon.

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Trip smirked. And smirked. And smirked.

"Quit it," Jon said grumpily.

"What?" Trip asked with his best innocent face. "I was just remembering how therapeutic that spa we went to was. All that running water, flowing over you. Drip. Drip. Drip." He watched Jon shift his position. "You know, there is always the bottle. Or we could go back to Enterprise."

"No."

"Yeah, I mean, I guess the neck isn't wide enough. And an old man like you wouldn't be that good an aim anyway."

When Jon turned his head to glare at Trip he saw a self-satisfied smile on his face, which he was determined to wipe.

"How's Dumbo, Trip?" Jon smiled evilly. Trip had gone pale. "You're lucky it still works, after doing that to it. Remind me not to give my sons toys with ribbons when they are young."

Trip's mouth hung open. He finally said, "How?"

"Do I know?" Jon finished. "Your brother."

Trip remained in stunned silence.

'Trip 1, Jon 2,' Jon thought.

Trip sat and plotted revenge. On both of them.

A/N: Okay, I wrote this story, then wanted to check whether red cordial is something that's drunk in America. Apparently not. It contains lots of red food colouring which made lots of kids hyperactive here in Australia until it was banned. Nothing else really fitted what I was trying to do, so it stays.