Spell: Well, I know last chapter's...uuuuuuuuh...well, that section wasn't nearly as bad as what other people have wrote, but still...it was going to be even worse, except I was blushing too much.
Crystal: -.-
Spell: What? I'm just not very in to that kind of thing. And if my parents caught me writing something like that, they would probably have heart attacks.
Crystal: -.-
Spell: And so far as I know, my parents think I don't even know all the cuss words.
Crystal: ...
Spell: Oh, shut up!
Crystal: ...?
Spell: =( Well, off with the story.
T-W-I-S-T-E-D
Crystal, Youko Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei all stood around Twilight, staring intently at her for any sign of movement (and the cat was sitting on her.) Suddenly they all jumped as a voice came curiously from behind them.
"What are all of you staring at?" Inu-Yasha asked curiously, head cocked and ears twitching slightly.
"YOU...YOU...YOU IDIOT!" Crystal shouted, fumbling for a worse insult, and coming up without any result. She reached for his ears to pull them cruelly, changed her mind, stomped on his foot, decided again to pull his ears, changed her mind, and changed her mind again. During this performance, Youko, Yusuke and Hiei (and the cat) watched with sweat drops. Actually, the cat just sat there licking herself. Because she felt her paw was dirty. Because it was. Because she had been sitting on Twilight's head for a while, and who knows what kind of things she has in her hair (grass, leaves, twigs, small children's brains...).
"WHAT?!?" Inu-Yasha screamed at Crystal, hopping on one foot. (It was the one that hadn't been stepped on, if you weren't bright enough to figure that out. ;-D) "I WENT OUT TO SCOUT AROUND, AND I CAME BACK AND EVERYONE WAS GATHERED AROUND HER!" ("HER" was punctuated with a finger point at Twilight. Very rude, doggy boy!)
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING US?! WE HAD TO HAVE THAT SCARY, PERVERTED FOX BOY HELP US FIND TWILIGHT!"
Youko glared at the blonde, contemplating killing her. Hiei also glared, but not for the same reason. He glared because he always glares. Except when he smirks. Or has the weird sweat droppy face thingy that he had when Yusuke started beating Kuwabara up in the Dark Tournament...anyway. Hadn't you noticed when you read the manga or watched the anime?
"WHATEVER!" Crystal screamed. Crystal took a deep breath, and yelled, "JUST NEVER, NEVER, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, MISTER TOUGH-BOY-DOG-DEMON-SLASH-HUMAN-BOY-WHO-IS-IN-LOVE-WITH-A-SCHOOLGIRL-FROM-THE-FUTURE-BUT-WON'T-ADMIT-IT!"
By now everyone was scared. Even Hiei and Youko, though they didn't show it. Still, that was a big deal. Especially if it's because of a crazy blonde girl who had never really caused true pain to anyone in her entire life.
"HEY, I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE, OKAY?!?"
"You're blushing."
Inu-Yasha didn't say anything for a moment. Then he came up with a come-back. "You're the one in love with someone!"
"No, I'm not! HA!"
"Feh. Right."
"DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF?!"
"SURE I DO! You said...er...that time you...um..."
Crystal raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I win."
"What?! No, you don't!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"NEVER! NOT IN ONE MILLION YEARS!" yelled Twilight. Or at least tried to yell, but her voice cracked. "What are you yelling about, anyway?" She looked at her foot. "Ew...why is my foot so disfigured?" She promptly passed out.
Everyone blinked. "Hey, are we ever gonna do something about her foot?" Yusuke asked with a sweat drop.
"By the by, when's Shuuichi coming back?" Crystal asked hopefully.
"Thanks," said Youko sarcastically. "I feel so appreciated." (A/N: I know that's not something Youko would probably say, but hey!)
"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER STUPID FOOT!"
"How can a foot be stupid?" Crystal inquired. Everyone sweat dropped, except Twilight, who was unconscious, if you hadn't noticed.
"We need some plants," announced Kurama. "Inu-Yasha, you know this area best. And we can't have you and Crystal arguing all the time, can we?"
"Fine, everyone always gets me to do these things anyway," Inu-Yasha grumbled, walking off. Suddenly he stopped and turned around. "Wait a minute! Your hair...is red! You're not in a tunic thingy anymore!"
Shuuichi Kurama didn't get a chance to say anything because Crystal threw her arms around him. "YAY! KURAMA, YOU'RE BACK!" she cried joyously. "You have no idea how scary Youko is." She then smirked inwardly, finding another way to piss Inu-Yasha off. "I mean, he has golden eyes, and fluffy ears an-"
"Hey!" yelled the disgruntled Inu-Yasha. "I have golden eyes and ears! Are you implying something?"
Crystal snickered. "What, don't you want people to think you're scary?"
"Eh...kind of...not really. Feh, just shut up, wench."
"Whatever. Just go along your merry way, okay, doggy boy?"
"Why does everyone have to call me that?" Inu-Yasha said rhetorically.
"Because you are a doggy boy."
"You didn't need to answer that."
"Then why did you ask?"
"Oh, just go away."
"I am."
"Good."
"Geez, I feel so loved." (A/N: Again, out of character, but I often say that and it fit the moment. Unhappy? Well, tough. -.-)
"Are you going to go or are we just going to stand around until she dies?" Yusuke asked in a rather exasperated tone of voice. He sounded like he was talking to a small child. Inu-Yasha shrugged, and walked off.
Crystal smirked. "I won the battle, and I shall win the war!"
A general sweat drop passed through all the people. Except Hiei, because Hiei is expressionless. He only said, "Hn. Baka onna."
"Hmm...I prefer to think of myself as a moody, angsty teen struggling with parents who don't understand me and trying to find my place in the world."
A general facefault passed through them all. Except Hiei, for Hiei merely sweat dropped. You see, though most anime characters have a large amount of sweat to get rid of, Hiei has less, and must use it sparingly.
R-E-A-L-I-T-I-E-S
Inu-Yasha flew through the air on silver wings, tossing roses to everyone he saw. Actually, he just flew. He also didn't see anyone, so he settled for scowling at the trees. Stupid trees, he thought. Always just standing there, and being motionless, and growing...and giving out oxygen which keeps me alive. Dammit! Stupid trees! Nothing to complain about them! (A/N: I do not usually swear. That was because Inu-Yasha cusses. Stupid Inu-Yasha! (Sees growling Inu-Yasha fans.) Spare me!)
He landed abruptly as his sensitive wittle nosey (couldn't help it, lol) picked up a familiar scent. Similar to his own, but different. A sword that contrasted to his own. An idiot toad thingy. Sesshomaru.
Quickly, Inu-Yasha drew the Tetsusaiga, preparing for what he thought was a certain battle. But a thought nagged at him; the others. He didn't particularly like any of them – cocky, egotistical, and useless as they were by turns, but the stupid conscience he had noticed more often since he met Kagome was telling him to go and tell them that a powerful demon was coming. Raising his eyes to the sky in exasperation with himself, he gave a gusty sigh and started back to the stupid people he had teamed up with to get his Shikon Jewel shard detector back.
T-W-I-S-T-E-D
Twilight had woken up again, and while very drowsy, could carry on intelligent conversation. As far as you can take intelligent conversation with Twilight. Anyway, the brunette was watching the people putter around; Kurama attempting to wrap her foot with a make-shift bandage, Crystal overseeing him with a critical eye and dropping what she considered helpful comments, Yusuke doing pretty much the same thing but being a bit more helpful, and Hiei jumping into a tree and so far as anyone could tell, going to sleep. Then Yusuke and Crystal gave conflicting advice, and started arguing. Kurama and Hiei ignored them, except for Hiei occasionally muttering insults under his breath and imagining bloody pictures.
Inu-Yasha landed neatly in the small clearing, ears pricked. He opened his mouth to start talking, "I–" but was promptly interrupted.
"Did you get the plants?" Kurama asked, completely serious and not seeming to notice that he had just interrupted Inu-Yasha.
"I–"
"Did you get the right ones?" Crystal asked wickedly. Inu-Yasha took the opportunity to glare at her. She merely crossed her arms, closed her eyes demurely, and smiled.
"I did not get–"
"Gasp!" quipped Crystal in fake horror. She continued, the picture of an appalled young teen. "Now my friend will die! How could you Inu-Yasha?!? HOW COULD YOU?!?" Crystal turned her head to the sky and held her clasped hands up to it beseechingly. "MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON HER SOUL! MAY HE HAVE MERCY ON–"
"SHUT UP!" Yusuke yelled. Crystal turned to him, still keeping up her pretense of hysteric misery.
"No, they're all turning on me...soon, even Kurama and Hiei will betray me..." She paused, out of her play for a moment. "Well, Hiei wasn't really on my side..." She shook her head. "Anyway...even Twilight will betray me! WHY DO YOU TREAT ME SO, CRUEL WORLD?!? PAY YOU NO ATTENTION TO THE MARVELS I HAVE CREATED, THE GOOD DEEDS I HAVE DONE?!?"
"What good deeds?" Twilight murmured sleepily.
"SEE! IT BEGINS ALREADY! MY FRIEND FROM HOME HAS BETRAYED ME!!"
"YOU ONNA NO BAKA, I SMELLED SESSHOMARU! HE'S GETTING CLOSER!"
Crystal coughed. "Oh."
"Maybe he should take a bath then..." Twilight muttered, squinting at Inu-Yasha with one dark brown eye. She sniffed. "Maybe you should take a bath. I could brush your hair! OOH! Then I could braid it...or I could cut it all off, and bring it home with me, and sell it for millions of dollars, and..." At this point everyone began to ignore her. It's a circle of life. Twilight speaks, people ignore her. That's the cycle of things.
"Sesshomaru...?" Kurama asked, bewildered.
"The guy with the fluff and the pet toad!" Twilight chirped.
"Fluffy!" Crystal chirped.
"My half-brother, the Lord of the Western Lands," Inu-Yasha supplied. He was scowling. "Not that he deserves it. He's probably come to try and kill me again."
"My, what a happy family you must be," Yusuke commented. He ran his hand through his black hair restlessly. "I'm getting bored, a good fight would help."
"I could probably kill him," Hiei remarked tonelessly from his tree. The fire demon cast his red eyes proudly at his katana. "No doubt with my katana. However, if he becomes a real problem, I might use the kokoryuu-haa."
Inu-Yasha snorted. "I doubt it. Listen, I've fought him a lot, and you probably couldn't measure up to half his worth." The hanyou smirked. "He'd certainly have longer reach as an advantage."
In a black flash, Hiei's fist was held right in front of Inu-Yasha's face. "Care to repeat that?" Hiei asked coldly.
Inu-Yasha "hmphed" and turned his head away, his arms crossed. "Whatever." He started as Twilight began laughing hysterically. "What?!?"
"You know...after the episode in which Yusuke gets Genkai's powers, he's probably many times stronger than you. Probably stronger than Sesshomaru too...and maybe even stronger than Naraku. Wait, no, definitely stronger than Naraku," Crystal said, surprisingly intelligently.
"What?!?" Inu-Yasha yelled. "Him?!? He's a cocky, egotistical idiot!"
"You just described yourself! Even Shippo is smarter than you! Actually, he's smarter than you and Kagome combined!" Twilight said between giggles. "I think Toguro was about the same power level as Naraku, and Yusuke defeated him...only after he thought Kuwabara was killed though!" She started laughing even harder."SHUT UP!" Yusuke yelled, red with both anger and embarrassment.
"THAT SHRIMPY FOX IS NOT SMARTER THAN ME!" yelled the disgruntled Inu-Yasha. The two girls both crossed their arms, closed their eyes, and smirked. They looked almost identical, except Twilight was laying down, and they had different features.
"Fox..." Kurama muttered. "What does he look like?"
"He's short, a toddler, has reddish-brown hair in a bun, has a big poofy brown tail, and has clothes, which I can't remember the exact details of," quoth Twilight, all in one long breath.
"Yes, Twilight, I should hope he has clothes," said Crystal with a sweat drop. Then Twilight started laughing even harder, which was really bad, because she had managed to calm herself down.
"There's this episode," -insert giggle- "and Kagome's in this hot spring thing...y'know, she goes swimming a lot in the Feudal Era...anyway, and Shippo is like, undressing, which is kinda nasty, but kinda not, 'cause he's a little kid, and anyway, Inu-Yasha's like 'hold up little dude,' though not quite like that, and Shippo's like, 'oh, you mean you wanna come too' and it's funny-like! And then, Miroku's around somewhere, except I can't remember, because I hid my face under a pillow."
"She really did..." remarked Crystal in an earnest tone. "She was at my house, and I kept telling her 'nothing happens,' etc."
"I have a low capacity for romance or embarrassing moments, real life or anime!" Twilight defended, giggles gone. "I can't help it, it's in my genes!"
"But Twilight, you're not wearing jeans," Crystal said. "You're wearing a messed up kimono."
"Crystal, I pity you."
"I pity you more."
"Nuh uh!"
"Uh huh!"
"Girls, this isn't really–" Kurama began.
"SHUT UP, FANGIRL MAGNET!" Twilight yelled.
"YEAH, SHUT UP!" Crystal yelled.
"I rule! You can't pity me! Look what I can do!" Twilight yelled. She cupped her hands and brought them too her mouth, blowing into her knuckles. This produced a low, windy sound, like a lengthened owl's hoot. Then she flapped the upper hand, which made a kind of woo-OO-oo-OO sound, which didn't sound much like an owl at all. (A/N: Yes, I can actually do that.) "Ha! I have won!" Twilight crowed, punching the air with a victorious smile.
"You may have won the battle, but you shall not win the war!!" Crystal threatened.
"I feel sorry for whomever they come across," Yusuke remarked.
"Whyever so?" Twilight asked, blinking in confusion. "All our friends are just like us, though a little different. I mean, there's Moonglow, and Quills, and Maargofleubum, and...and...more people, 'kay?"
"Thank Kami-sama that they aren't here."
Crystal's eyes widened, and she broke into a wide smile. "That would be so cool! Except Maargofleubum would try to cut off Inu-Yasha's ears..."
"A POWERFUL DEMON IS ATTACKING!! DO NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND?!?" Inu-Yasha screamed.
"Yes," Twilight said, suddenly straight-faced and completely serious. Heck, her face was grim.
"Perfectly," Crystal added, just as solemn.
Inu-Yasha blinked. These girls were creepy. He missed Kagome. At least she could use a weapon, and had some sense. At the very least, she wasn't insane.
"Oh yeah! I just remembered," Twilight said, serious face intact. "The zaniness is hereditary!" Everyone face-faulted.
"Idiot," Inu-Yasha muttered.
"Hey! I heard that! OSUWARI!" Twilight yelled.
Everyone stared at her. Finally Yusuke broke the silence. "Sit? Why are you telling him to sit?"
"Drat!" Twilight cursed. Then she screamed and looked at Inu-Yasha. He looked back, a little uneasy. "GACK! What if Inu-Yasha turns on us and tries to kill us and stuff! KAGOME CAN MAKE HIM SIT! SHE'S SAFE!" Then she blinked. "And boy, is it funny. You should see the show, or read the manga. It's really funny, especially the first time she sits him, 'cause he goes 'B-TONG' and he's all like 'what the-'"
"Why don't you tell us about that later?" Kurama said, emphasizing 'later.' "I still have to fix your foot so you can walk."
"If stupid doggy boy here had gotten–" Crystal started.
"I thought you might like to know that you were going to be attacked by Sesshomaru. Guess not."
"Sesshomaru has more fans than you," Twilight said in a bored, monotone voice. Crystal hit her on the head.
"Don't tell him, it's not polite! We don't want him to feel unloved, do we?"
"Could've fooled me," Yusuke muttered.
"More...fans?" Inu-Yasha asked incredulously.
"In our world you're an anime character," Twilight said in the same expressionless voice. "There are several fanlistings. And fanfictions. You should see some of the pairings they come up with." The bored tone dropped. "And it is REALLY amusing, also the ones with Yu Yu Hakusho. Yaoi is really popular with them, I even saw a Hiei x Kuwabara one– AAAH! SAVE ME!" The last comment was in reference to Hiei, who had sat up quite abruptly, and was glaring murderously at her and Yusuke, who had cracked up.
"That oaf?" Hiei asked, controlled anger sounding in his voice. Twilight wriggled around as best she could until she was mostly behind Kurama.
"He wants to kill me!" Twilight yelled to no one in particular. Then she glanced craftily at Hiei. "Can I have one last wish?" She asked in a sepulchral tone. The fire demon jumped down and glared at her, his hand on the hilt of his katana. "Gack! Somebody! Kurama, Yusuke, Inu-Yasha! SAVE ME FROM THE FIRE-BREATHING THREE-EYED FIEND!!" She paused dramatically, her eyes closed. When nothing happened, she opened one eye slowly to find people staring at her.
"Fire-breathing?" Inu-Yasha asked.
"Well, so far as I know, he never breathes fire, but he's a fire demon! You never know!" Twilight said in a tone one could expect of an expert.
"To kill you would be wasting my time, and a worthless use of my katana," Hiei said icily.
"Right," Twilight said sarcastically.
"Twilight, you baka, that's a good thing," the blonde Crystal said. "Wait, no, it's not. It's a good thing that he's not going to kill you."
"Let us rejoice, and send praises up to the Lord," Twilight said dryly.
"What's with the loss of craziness?"
"Mood change. Temporary. Nothing permament," Twilight said in a monotone. "So Fluffy's coming?"
"I have no idea how she can call anybody 'Fluffy' with a completely straight face in that tone," Kurama confided to Yusuke and Hiei.
"Fluffy?" Inu-Yasha asked skeptically.
"Sesshomaru. SesSHOmaRU. Sesshomaru." The last time she said his name, she pronounced it outrageously incorrectly.
"Right. Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you?"
"You know, there are fics pairing Kagome and Yusuke," Twilight remarked, obviously knowing it was completely off-topic and not caring. "Crystal's writing one."
"WHAT?!?" Inu-Yasha wailed. "HIM?!? AND KAGOME?!?"
"Oh, looks like doggy-boy has a cru-ush," Crystal teased, a mocking smile on her face.
Inu-Yasha looked appalled, and a blush spread across his face.
"I don't even know her!" Yusuke yelled, a blush spreading across his face as well. Albeit much smaller than Inu-Yasha's.
"Wait a minute...what's this about Crystal writing one?" Inu-Yasha asked slowly and accusingly. He and Yusuke both glared at Crystal.
"Uh oh..." Crystal said. "Twilight, I am SOOOO killing you."
And on that happy note, we complete this chapter.
R-E-A-L-I-T-I-E-S
Spell: Well, aren't you happy? I UPDATED! Huh? Huh? Huuuh?
Crystal: (Unimpressed.)
Spell: Well, you know, Twilight was originally representing me, but she's a lot crazier than I am. So she's not me anymore. Especially 'cause I don't want to seem like a Mary-Sue, 'specially now that we're having pairings. She's also a lot crazier around people she just met than I would be, and especially 'cause they're guys. (Blush.)
Crystal: Same.
Spell: Anyways, I don't think any more people are gonna vote to say whether to have pairings or not (Sniff.) so I'm going to ask what pairings you dudes and dudettes (Stifles snickers.) would like. Review, bitte! (That was German for please. And you're welcome, but that's beside the point.) I'm gonna start answering reviews, aren't you happy? I'm answering all the reviews I've gotten...only nine. (Sniff.)
Crystal: Don't you have more to say for yourself? (Disapproving face.)
Spell: (Sighs and rolls her eyes.) I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, I had a bit of writer's block, and I'm writing a few other fanfictions that I probably will never post. A Dark is Rising Sequence one, a Magic Knight Rayearth one (I don't like that one much, it was kind of random), a Teen Titans one, a fairy tale rewrite, as well as some stories that have nothing to do with you. :-P
Kurama's Girl Angel: Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, it's the first story I've ever had to have someone review every chapter. (Teary smile.) But could you explain what you meant by the readers having pairings? And I don't mind the "long-winded" part. I was trying to make the chapters for this story longer than other stories I've written.
S Quillweaver: Calm yourself, Squill.
KuramasKitsuneGirl: Wow, I've had a bunch of reviews from girls who call themselves Kurama's...no offense meant, of course. Thank you so much for the compliment, I appreciate it greatly!
Sakura-chan79: Thank you! I love the bishies, too! Lol... I will keep updating. I understand what it is to be hyper...
I am touched by all the reviews. (Crafty grin.) I would be even more so if you came back and reviewed again.