Spell: Well, here I am, writing another chapter of my pitiful story again. May the Lord have mercy on those who read it.
Crystal: (Rolls eyes.)
Spell: I am unimpressed.
Crystal: ...
Spell: Y'know, I've seen fics saying that Youko Kurama and Inu and Sesshy are brothers or related or something.
Crystal: That was really off-topic. But anyway, that wouldn't work. I mean, Youko's a fox, not a doggy.
Spell: He could be Shippo's brother!! XD
Crystal: He could be Shippo's FATHER!! XD
Spell: Yeah!!
Crystal: Yeah right!
Spell: Yup! (Both laugh loudly.)
Somewhere...
Shippo: (Blocking with a light-saber.) GASP! Manten didn't kill my father...YOU DID!!
Youko: (In a black version of his tunic.) No, Shippou...I am your father.
Shippo: (Tragic.) NOOOOOO! (Perks up.) Daddy, can we go get an ice cream cone?
Youko: Sure! (Two of them walk off, presumably to the ice cream store.)
Spell/Crystal: o.O
T-W-I-S-T-E-D
Crystal gazed pitifully at the angry Yusuke and Inu-Yasha. "It's not my fault, I just like alternate pairings!" They did not look appeased. made me do it!"
"She's also writing an Inu-Yasha/Sango fic," Twilight remarked wickedly, in contrast smiling in such a way that one would think she was admiring a beautiful scenery.
"Sango?!?" Inu-Yasha repeated incredulously. "She's spoken for by the monk."
"Oh there's nothing wrong Miroku/Sango," Crystal said earnestly. "I just like alternate pairings! And I haven't started with it yet!"
"Sesshomaru is almost upon us," Twilight said in a monotone voice. "Do you not see? The animals are leaving, the birds have stopped their songs, an unearthly chill has come across the forest."
"Twilight. that sounded SOOO lame," Crystal said. "Except the first part. That was okay."
"It's true though," Twilight said. Her round face was serious.
"I know. We cannot let our guard down for a moment," Crystal monotoned.
"Now you sound lame," Twilight quipped in an almost identical monotone, propping herself up on her elbows.
"I know."
"Dammit, I almost forgot!" Inu-Yasha cursed. "I better go find where he is." Suddenly the ground trembled. Crystal and Yusuke stumbled. Inu-Yasha almost did, but managed to keep his dignity, Kurama grabbed a nearby branch and held on, Twilight fell back down, and Hiei barely managed to stay in his tree.
"That won't be necessary, my dear little brother," a mocking, arrogant voice said. Sitting on the head of an enormous blue demon, was Sesshomaru, accompanied by Jaken and Rin. (A/N: I didn't know much about Rin when I first had Sesshy in the story.)
"That child's joy makes me fear for humanity," Twilight in a rather dark and gloomy way, referring to Rin's cheerful face. Almost in a gothic way. Though she is not goth. Far from it. "And the fact that she is not lying face-down in the woods, tragic though it would be, makes me fear for demani...wait, no, that's not it. Er, demonicy...no... Makes me fear for all demonic forces."
Crystal shook her finger at Twilight. "You don't want her to be lying dead in the woods," she told Twilight. "You know that. And don't talk like that, or I'll call you a Hiei wannabe."
"Hey!" Twilight protested. "Quills is a Hiei wannabe, not me!" (A/N: Sorry, Quills!)
"A Hiei wannabe...now that is something I don't hear every day," Yusuke drawled, pulling each word long.
"If you read fanfictions about you Reikai Tantei you wo–"
"Later, Twilight, we have something to deal with," Kurama said sternly. The brunette rolled her eyes but complied.
"I'm getting bored of this," Inu-Yasha growled, pulling out the Tetsusaiga in a white flash of steel. He stood ready, his blade held in front of him. He smiled, a cocky expression often seen on his face. "I'm ready when you are, 'brother.'"
"Is this the Sesshomaru you were talking about earlier?" Hiei inquired frostily of the hanyou.
"'Fraid so," Twilight answered for him. "See? You can tell by his makeup, his coldness, and his fluff."
At this, Rin giggled.
"I'll fight him," Hiei said. Inu-Yasha face-faulted, and Sesshomaru glanced in a bored way at the fire youkai, though his eyes held a speck of curiosity.
"I'LL fight him," Inu-Yasha insisted.
"My, my, don't we all just love fighting the big scary demon?" Twilight said sarcastically to Crystal, who snickered.
Inu-Yasha glared at them both. "I don't love fighting him! That idiot doesn't know what he would be going up against!"
"Am I going to be required to sit through a lengthy debate about who will fight me?" Sesshomaru drawled, a bit out of character. "And I see you've found yourself a new band of ningens. Did you tire of the old ones?"
"You–" Inu-Yasha started to say angrily, but was interrupted by Kurama.
"To what purpose have you come?" Kurama asked warily, though as reserved and polite as ever.
"I've come to kill Inu-Yasha, and take my rightful inheritance, the Tetsusaiga. I'd also like payment for the loss of my arm. Why, hadn't you guessed after the first couple of times?" Sesshomaru drawled, scorn and sarcasm dripping from his words.
"I don't care why he's come, but he's going to regret it!" Inu-Yasha growled. He raised his sword and charged. Sesshomaru jumped off fluidly and landed. Inu-Yasha struck at him with the Tetsusaiga; Sesshomaru drew his sword in one graceful movement and easily blocked. Inu-Yasha pressed down on his half-brother's sword, gritting his teeth. But Sesshomaru slipped away easily to Inu-Yasha's back and almost cut Inu-Yasha in half. The hanyou dodged and in turn almost stuck Sesshomaru through.
"You go, doggy boy!" Crystal cheered from the sidelines, pumping her hand in the air.
"Which doggy boy?" Twilight inquired.
"Well, Inu-Yasha of course," Crystal said in a no-nonsense manner. "Why would I root for Sesshomaru? He would be perfectly happy to kill me. Though he is a bishie."
"They're both doggy boys, silly. Inu-Yasha's a doggy, and so is Sesshomaru."
"Darn you."
"HAAAA!" Inu-Yasha roared as he charged Sesshomaru, the Tetsusaiga ready. Sesshomaru again slipped away, and Inu-Yasha followed. The two blurred in fast sword combat. Both Twilight and Crystal were a bit surprised when it stopped, and even more to see a long gash on Inu-Yasha's arm, dripping blood.
"Inu-Yasha!" Crystal and Twilight gasped, more or less simultaneously. The boy/demon looked back at them derisively.
"I've had worse," he said defiantly. He raised his sword, and again charged Sesshomaru.
This pattern repeated itself, Sesshomaru and Inu-Yasha both carrying wounds. Or so one would expect, as Inu-Yasha had made many excellent strokes at him. Inu-Yasha's wounds were more obvious; the swipe on his arm from before, a small cut on his face, dangerously near his eyes, several places on his legs, and a puncture in his side.
"Inu-Yasha, get back here!" Crystal called, appalled. She had, of course, seen many injuries on him when she was watching the anime or reading the manga, but seeing it on TV and in person is quite a different thing. "You're going to kill yourself!"
"Listen to her, Inu-Yasha!" Twilight screamed over a particularly loud clash of swords. "Don't be more of an idiot than you usually are!" Inu-Yasha finally glanced back in response to this twisted sort of encouragement.
"No one else here knows how to fight him!" he defended himself verbally against the two girls, and physically against Sesshomaru's sword.
"It'll be all right, you idiot!" Twilight yelled, annoyed. "You didn't know how to fight him the first time you did, when you claimed the Tetsusaiga, but you beat him, didn't you?"
"This is different!" Inu-Yasha yelled back, jumping away from Sesshomaru, trying to cope with the distractions of carrying on a discussion and fighting a difficult battle at the same time.
Inu-Yasha didn't get a chance to say anymore, because Sesshomaru launched an attack that made him fly back quite a bit. Crystal, on a sudden impulse, dashed out and latched herself onto his arm, and tried to pull him back.
"Baka wench," Inu-Yasha snarled, trying to pull away from Crystal's vise-like grip, "let go of me. I need to fight him!"
"You can't!" Crystal said sternly, and sharply. A gash on Inu-Yasha's arm bled slowly; the blood trickled down his arm and dripped onto her hand. Crystal grimaced in suppressed horror, but kept a grip.
"Let GO!" Inu-Yasha yelled, pulling away again. Twilight darted out and grabbed his other arm. They kept him there as a black flash leapt out, drawing a katana from its sheath with deadly speed.
"The bastard!" Inu-Yasha snarled after Hiei, insulted that anyone would try to fight his battle.
Sesshomaru stared challengingly at Hiei, who stared back, just as expressionless. A moment went by while they glared at each other; almost as if they were reading each other's advantages, and their weaknesses.
"I do believe they're having a staring contest," Twilight remarked, ever having a sarcastic or funny (sometimes both) comment to make about everything. She released Inu-Yasha's arm. "Who'll blink first, I wonder."
"I'd say...Sesshomaru," Crystal said, with a calculating look in her eyes. "Sesshomaru certainly glares a lot, but I think Hiei blinks less often than most." She also let go of Inu-Yasha.
Inu-Yasha, being the obnoxiously stubborn boy that he is (and don't you all love him for it), started to barge forward. This time, Twilight, Crystal, Kurama, and Yusuke all stepped forward and grabbed him. Ignoring his protests, they pulled him back, away from the two utterly still figures.
Sesshomaru made the first move. He slowly and deliberately relaxed his sword into a less watchful position. "So you wish to fight me," he said quietly, in a toneless voice as usual, but somehow managed to convey a sense of hauteur and disdain. "I have not seen so much foolishness in any other except Inu-Yasha."
"How dare–" Inu-Yasha started, again moving forward, but Twilight and Crystal latched onto his arms. He glared at them murderously, then sat down on the ground. "Let go of me," he said to them, clearly vexed. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh, and I was so looking forward to using tranquilizers on you," Twilight said sarcastically.
"What's with the loss of hyperness?" Inu-Yasha asked, folding his arms and glaring in a much seen position.
"I'm not entirely useless, you know," Twilight said, quite sharply. "As much as I may seem it. I do put on the hyperness as an act, if you hadn't noticed. Why, you might ask? Because it makes people laugh, and I like to make people laugh. Also, it's more fun than being serious. Anyway, I know when to be insane and when to be serious."
"Whatever," Inu-Yasha replied. Actually, it had been quite odd to see the girl go suddenly from a hyper, insane idiot to a brisk, sharp, sarcastic teen. Actually acting her age. The age she seemed to be, anyway.
"Good," Crystal said, rummaging through a few of their packs and coming up with a large roll of bandages. "Hold still, Inu-Yasha, I need to wrap your wounds!" She rushed over to Inu-Yasha and began attempting to haphazardly slap on bandages. Inu-Yasha lifted his arm above the short girl's reach.
"I don't need healing. I'm part demon, remember?" he said scornfully.
"Yes, but I don't want to see your nasty blood dripping all over!" Crystal replied, disgustingly cheerful. Rather morbid, if one thinks about it. "Blood is so disgusting, and it makes one nauseas! It is most unpleasant."
"Indeed," remarked Twilight in a bemused tone.
"Wait!" Kurama said suddenly. "Twilight, you're walking on your feet."
"Nooo, I'm walking on my head. Of course I'm walking on my feet, where else...I catch your drift."
"Twilight, sit down and show me your feet," Kurama instructed. Twilight promptly obliged him, forgetting all about her original planned assistance with Crystal's assassina – coughcough – bandaging of Inu-Yasha.
"Odd..." Kurama said, frowning a bit as he examined Twilight's small feet. "Your feet aren't nearly as bad as they should be."
"Maybe it's because I'm from another world and this is only a two-dimensional world for me," Twilight remarked in a sepulchral tone.
Meanwhile, during this interesting conversation about medical help, Hiei and Sesshomaru had begun flinging insults at each other – of course, monotone insults. Things like, "you are inferior," "you are a fool to wish to fight me," "you don't know what you're up against," and other things. That being just the essence, of course.
Then, by some unspoken agreement, both drew their swords (well, Hiei did, Sesshomaru already had his out), and leapt forward to engage in combat. Their swords were almost impossible to see, at the speed they moved.
He's faster than I thought, Hiei thought grimly and coolly, twisting around, cat-like, to avoid a thrust. Though at this speed he still went fast enough that he left an after-image, this was slow for him. The demon intensified his glare at his opponent, and sped up.
Sesshomaru backed up quickly, eyes slightening only widely to show his surprise. Sesshomaru was very fast, very fast indeed, but Hiei's speed was beyond imagining. (A direct quote from Hiei! Heehee!) He increased his own speed, and dashed around after Hiei's after-image, attempting to slash the demon down, to at least wound him enough that he slowed.
"Nnnnh!" Sesshomaru grunted in pain, surprised. His arm was cut, very deeply. If he had not been a powerful demon, he might have died. He would have at least lost his arm. The demon cleared his mind briefly, and concentrated briefly. His eyes unconsciously followed Hiei's after-image, which continued to dart around like a small bird. Suddenly he leapt a good ten feet in front of it; Hiei barely moved out of the way.
Sesshomaru did not manage to slice Hiei in half, as his plan had been. He did, however, manage to register the lack of any surprise on Hiei's face. There was not shock, the half-fear Inu-Yasha showed when Sesshomaru almost got him, but instead glaring, planning. Knowing.
The demon continued his attack, his sword clashing against Hiei's slightly slimmer one. Hiei had the advantage, his speed, but even Bui, without the speed even of Sesshomaru, had almost defeated him. Sesshomaru somewhat eclipsed Bui; Hiei considered Sesshomaru a worthy opponent.
Hiei continued his almost dance-like pattern of attacking around Sesshomaru. He sliced, he thrust, he slit. Sesshomaru managed to occasionally block, for the most part unsuccessfully.
-The Lazybums...I mean, the Other People-
"I suppose that's the only explanation," Kurama said, a thoughtful look on his face. "Do your feet hurt in any way?"
"Well, yes, now that I think of it," Twilight said, her face just as thoughtful. "I wasn't paying attention when I grabbed Inu. By the way, sorry Inu-Yasha."
"Hmph," was his only reply. The demon tried to ignore Crystal, who was puttering around him, trying to get him to hold still so she could bandage him.
Twilight rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to Kurama. "Anyway, my feet ache a bit; they're sore. Well, now that I'm thinking about them, they're starting to hurt worse." She winced, then lightly said, "You'll probably have to do some healing on them, I guess. I think they're still bloody." Indeed, her feet were bloody, and at some spots they were still bleeding sluggishly.
"I give up!" Crystal cried out, jumping after Inu-Yasha's arm. The hanyou was holding his bloody arm out of her small reach, with a semi-amused look on his face. "This outfit is useless! It's okay for walking, and it looks nice, but it is useless! And we'll probably need more mobile outfits!" She scowled at Inu-Yasha. "Twilight!" she said sharply.
"Yes, ma'am?" Twilight answered, sarcastically.
"Look through those packs! We didn't look through them properly! I need a different outfit!"
"She can't walk, Crystal," Kurama reminded her. "I'll do it."
"I don't want you to do it! You're a guy!"
Twilight snickered. "It's okay, Kurama, just get me the bags."
"This so stupid!" Yusuke, who had been unusually silent, broke out suddenly. He had been watching, an annoyed look growing on his face. "Why should Hiei get all the fun?!"
"You call fighting Sesshomaru fun?" Inu-Yasha said scornfully. "Listen, Yusuke, Sesshomaru could beat the crap outta you."
Yusuke snorted. "Yeah right!" he said, a challenging look in his eyes. The two started bickering, both ignoring Crystal, who had sat down between them and was holding her head in her hands, though they had to look over her head.
"Hey look!" Twilight said, pulling out what looked like a large white towel. She shook it out, and it proved to be a white shirt similar to Kaede's. "She gave us miko outfits!"
"Miko outfits?!?" Crystal exclaimed, suddenly perking up. "That's awesome!"
"It's a bit big," Twilight commented, holding it up to herself, "but it will do. It might be a bit bad if people think we're priestesses though."
"I don't care!" Crystal said happily, jumping up and starting towards Twilight and a clump of bushes behind her. "I'm gonna get into mine right now!"
"Crystal no baka, there's a battle going on. Hadn't you noticed?" Twilight said dismissively.
Crystal stopped dead in her tracks, blushing and her hand behind her head. "Oh yeah...right."
"I swear, Crystal, sometimes you are so clueless," Twilight said, sweat dropping. Crystal stuck her tongue out at her.
"Your feet look disgusting!" she told her, smirking. The brunette addressed looked down at her feet, and grimaced as a wave of nausea went through her. Her feet might not hurt, but they still looked disgusting. It was very disturbing for someone to see their own foot so mangled.
-The Incredibly Interesting Fight-
Sesshomaru was beginning to get angry; he could not hit the fire youkai that darted around him, and he could not help getting hit. He had not transformed into his true form because he had not thought it worth it. He had thought that Hiei would be easy to beat. He was wrong, as he knew, and he was angry with the short demon and with himself.
Suddenly Sesshomaru turned, and leapt onto the head of the demon that had brought him there. The large demon began lumbering off surprisingly quickly, Sesshomaru glaring at them, Jaken angsting over Sesshomaru's cuts, and Rin waving.
Hiei slowed down almost instantly. He watched the demon go coldly, and turned back to the group. "I told you I could defeat him," Hiei remarked coldly to Inu-Yasha, who turned his head and "hmph"ed. In a less expressionless tone it would have been an "I told you so."
"Why did he leave," Kurama said thoughtfully. It wasn't possible to tell whether it was more of a statement or a question.
"Feh. He always does that," Inu-Yasha said.
R-E-A-L-I-T-I-E-S
Spell: I had inspiration! I updated! Yay! (Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling.)
Crystal: THE SESSHOMARU-GUMI IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIN! XD
Spell: Errr...right. Anyway, the next chapter is really a filler chapter, but funny. Or at least, Crystal and I think it is. Isn't that right?
Crystal: (Investigating a tied-up Sesshomaru's fluff.)
Spell: Um. Anyway, the tone of the story has somewhat darkened, I'm afraid. It's not as cheerful and insane as it was. That's because...(drumroll) SCHOOL STARTED! So I'm tired and cranky and more sarcastic and whatnot. And that, of course, comes out in my writing. Don't expect updates as often. I have homework. And of course, Crystal, ever the procrastinator, goes and does all her homework at eight o'clock, and bothers me to write. I tell her to write, and she says she has homework! Bleh.
Crystal: Hmph.