Spell: Another chapter. Aren't you happy? XD
Crystal: (Beams.)
Spell: -- Anyway, this chapter was thought of when Crystal and I went to the beach. We were kinda hyper, and jumping around (it was night time) and thinking of unlikely, sick pairings. Example: Myouga/Sesshomaru. Anyway, we were just kinda thinking up this chapter, and it was really fun. Heh heh. Since I was an idiot and forgot to answer reviews last chapter, I shall right now.
Kurama's Girl Angel: I wasn't really planning on putting people in the story...the staff kinda forbade it...heh heh. n.n; Anyway, I AM planning on putting Miroku and Sango in the story...that will have to do.
Spell: The review looks so...alone... Why won't you review, people? WHY WON'T YOU REVIEW?!?
Crystal: (Tries to do a headstand.)
T-W-I-S-T-E-D
"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go," Twilight said in a singsong voice, trudging along after Inu-Yasha, Yusuke, Kurama, and Yusuke, who were all used to this kind of thing. Crystal was a few steps behind, having stopped to adjust a strap on her pack.
The kind of "thing" the boys were used to was trudging up and down hills, which they had all been doing for about fifteen minutes now. Twilight was limping a bit, but otherwise she seemed fine. Clothes were wrapped around her feet to cushion them.
"Twilight, would you shut up with that?" Yusuke groaned. "You've been doing it since we started out."
"You just don't appreciate the inner complexity of my soul," Twilight said with a dignified sniff. She and Crystal were now clad in the miko outfits that Kaede had supplied.
"Wait up," Crystal called, running up. She tucked a blonde lock of hair behind her ears.
"What does your soul have to do with anything?" Inu-Yasha asked skeptically.
"I rest my case," Twilight declared grandly, and shut up.
"Oh no, it's the end of the world. Twilight's actually being quiet," Crystal teased, grinning wickedly at the brunette. Twilight rolled her eyes.
And so they passed the time, Twilight and Crystal joking and discussing animes (which kind of creeped the others out, as the two girls were talking in great details about things that had happened in their life and what would happen), Yusuke and Inu-Yasha being the smart alecs that they are, Kurama being polite, and Hiei no where to be seen.
"Aaaaaaaah, this is nice," Twilight sighed, stretching luxuriously and dipping her toes daintily in a small creek when they stopped for lunch. Crystal, dipping her feet as well, hastily pulled them out with a disgusted expression. "I'm not cooking this time."
"Why would we want you to? Your cooking sucks."
"Hey!" Twilight said, offended. "I can probably cook a lot better than you! I've taken classes, and my mom is an expert at Thai cooking! A friend told me that my mom makes the best rice there is!"
"What does your mom's cooking have to do with your cooking?" Yusuke asked, raising his eyebrows.
"My point is that I've probably inherited my mother's cooking prowess," Twilight said with a haughty air. "And you liked the ramen I made well enough."
"The meal you cooked yesterday wasn't all that great," Inu-Yasha commented, taking Yusuke's side.
"That was because it cooked too long, and I had no chance to stop boiling it, and none of you nincompoop numbskulls did anything!"
"Whatever," Crystal said matter-of-factly. "Anyway, I'm tired of sleeping outside."
"You only did it one night, baka."
Crystal chose to dutifully ignore Twilight's unkind remark. "I want to go to an inn tonight."
"An inn!!" Twilight said excitedly.
"We can all sleep on cool tatami mats!!" Crystal exclaimed blissfully, her eyes big and starry. Everyone else, except Twilight, was watching her skeptically.
"Tatami mats!!" Twilight said excitedly (again.)
"And drink tea and say, 'It's irrational, it's impossible, it's against my religion,' while doing the cool hand motions Miroku does!" Crystal declared, looking heavenward with a purposeful look, making the cool hand motions Miroku had done in one episode.
"Cool hand motions!!" Twilight said excitedly (again again.)
"And we could eat dumplings!" Crystal shouted, obviously running out of things to say.
"Dumplings!" Twilight said excitedly.
"And....food...?" Crystal said uncertainly.
"Fo–" Twilight began to say (excitedly, of course), but Yusuke, the polite young man he is, butted in.
"Shut up, Twilight no baka," he said, and directed his next comment to Crystal. "Fine, we'll go to an inn, just as long as you two shut up for the rest of the day."
"How are we going to get in, baka?" Inu-Yasha asked sarcastically. "We don't have any money, people don't like demons, and I most obviously am not human."
"I believe I might be of some assistance," said a voice.
"Who said that?!?" Twilight demanded of the air dramatically, looking around broadly, whipping long, by now very messy, brown hair.
"Ow," Crystal said as several rather unpleasant locks flew into her face. Her comment went unnoticed.
"Twilight, would you quit that?!?" Yusuke shouted, more vocal than Crystal had been as hair flew into his face. "Your hair is disgusting!!!"
"Oh, well that makes me feel nice," Twilight retorted, disgruntled.
The person who had spoken earlier chuckled, and walked out of the shadowy trees. Blue and purple robes swished. A golden staff moved.
"It's Miroku!!" Twilight said, sounding terrified, and blinking paradoxically.
"Hello," said a pleasant alto voice. A woman in a pink, white, and green yukata with black hair with brown tints stepped forward after him.
"I'm assuming because Inu-Yasha is traveling with you all freely that you're allies," Miroku said.
"Yeah, they're with us, useless as they are," Inu-Yasha snorted. "They haven't been much help at all."
"Where's Kagome?" Sango asked, a slight tone of concern in her voice. Kirara, sitting on the ground next to her feet, leaned against her and made a small noise.
"Wait uuuuuup!!" came an urgent, young voice from the trees. The leaves of bushes rustled as none other than Shippou came bounding through the forest. He stopped and bent over, panting.
"KAWAII!!" Crystal and Twilight yelled in unison. Then Twilight ruined the moment by pointing at Miroku and saying, "KOWAII!!" (Kowaii means scary, if you didn't know. It's so confusing, it sounding so similar to kawaii.)
"Scary?" Miroku asked. "Oh dear, I seem to already have a bad reputation." Sango smiled, amusement in her eyes.
"Where's Kagome?" Shippou asked anxiously, blinking his large eyes worriedly.
"'The time has come,' the Walrus said," Twilight said suddenly, "'To talk of many things. Of ships – and shoes – and sealing wax. Of cabbages – and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.'"
Miroku, Sango, and Shippou, none of whom had ever seen Twilight before looked at her and blinked.
Crystal took advantage of their distraction and grabbed Shippou's tail, pulling him away, and threw a large rock at Miroku's head. It struck home, and the poor monk fell backwards, apparently unconscious.
"Hahaha!!" Crystal crowed, pumping her fist up and down in the air and jumping up in celebration. "No asking of obscene questions to fourteen-year-olds!!"
"Thou fiend!! Thou recreant fiend!!" Twilight said, flabbergasted. "Thou...." – she took a melodramatic breath – "wascawy wabbit!!"
Crystal gasped as if in mortal torment. "How...DARE YOU??"
Twilight smirked, and said,
"'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
'And your hair has become very white.
And yet you incessantly stand on your head.
Do you think, at your age, that is right?'
'In my youth,' Father William said to his son,
'I feared it might injure the brain.
But now that I'm quite sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.'"
"Twilight, where the heck did that come from?" Inu-Yasha and Yusuke asked in unison, then glanced resentfully at each other.
"I memorized it," Twilight said, smiling.
"That wasn't my question," Yusuke said, sweat dropping. "Since when is that an answer to someone saying, 'How dare you?'"
"You don't think it's a good retort?" Twilight asked, eyes becoming big, sad, and teary.
"Um...no..." Yusuke said hesitantly, not sure what exactly to say to her. He hadn't meant to make her cry...though that was a really stupid thing to cry about...
"Well, DEAL WITH IT!!" Twilight yelled gleefully, whacking him on the head with a book she seemed to have pulled from no where.
"WHAT THE HECK??" Yusuke yelled, trying to shield his head against the prowess of Twilight's pummeling. "Where did you get a book??"
"Um..." Twilight looked around nervously. "I cannot disclose that information," she said finally, in a very monotone and official sounding tone of voice.
"Why did you do that to him?" Sango asked Crystal, staring at Miroku's prone form. (Somehow that doesn't sound right...)
"So he wouldn't ask obscene questions!!" Crystal exclaimed, looking surprised that anyone would need to ask. "I'm 14 years old!! You should know what he asks every girl he sees!! HE'S NASTY!!" She made a face to accentuate her statement. "And disturbingly bishounen," she added.
"Eeeew," Twilight said, switching conversations with the ease of long practice. "You're yucky."
"I meant for being so perverted!!"
"That's no excuse," Twilight said primly, and that was the end of that.
"How hard did you hit him?" Sango asked, kneeling by Miroku. She picked up one of his wrists and started taking his pulse.
"You don't have to do that," Crystal said. "I didn't hit him THAT hard. And it wasn't a very big rock."
"Yup, Crystal's too weak and helpless to throw a rock that's too large at someone, and kill them," Twilight said, grinning wickedly. Crystal contented herself by sticking her tongue out.
"I hate you, Twilight!!"
"Oh yeah? Well, I RABBIT you!!"
"Rabbit?" Inu-Yasha asked skeptically.
"He doesn't look as if he got hit too hard," Kurama said calmly, referring to Miroku.
"Isn't that what we've been saying??" Twilight asked, switching from another conversation yet again.
"Animalia, chordata, mammalia, perissodactyla, equidae, equus...and ASINUS!!" Twilight yelled cheerfully. (Thank you, Omar, for that wonderful quote.)
"WHAT THE HECK?" Yusuke yelled.
Twilight glared at him. "Ostrolo pithicus," she accused.
"Why are you calling me names I don't know the meaning of???"
"Why, that's the whole fun part!! It's more fun to insult someone when they don't know what you're insulting them of!!"
"An ostrolo pithicus is an early form of man-ape," Kurama explained. "A primitive form of humankind. We studied evolution a bit in biology."
"Oh. Oka–hey!!"
"ANIMALIA CHORDATA MAMMALIA PERISSODACTYLA EQUIDAE EQUUS ASINUS!!" Twilight yelled at Yusuke.
"What?!?"
"DONKEY!!"
"HENTAI!!" Sango yelled suddenly, and a loud crack accompanied her statement. A handmark showed brightly on Miroku's face. He looked around piteously.
"Stupid Miroku," Twilight exclaimed in a little girl voice. She hopped over to him and plopped down. Meaning, she sat down. On him. On his stomach, actually. He made a loud puffing sound.
Well, eventually all things were organized, and they started along their merry way again. Crystal avoided getting any where near Miroku, and ended up walking behind Yusuke, which, of course, ended in a loud argument. Miroku "sought solace and companionship" with Sango, who watched him warily. Twilight tried to see if Inu-Yasha liked being scratched behind the ears, Kurama chuckled quietly at them all, and then they all got mad at Kurama. And stuff. Yeah.
Of course, the merriment couldn't last. (The merriment meaning, of course, Twilight trying to dig through Kurama's hair and find his rose and steal it.) It was evening, Yusuke and Crystal were argued out, Inu-Yasha had tired of shielding his ears, and Sango was now just annoyed at Miroku. Twilight, annoyingly, after sitting down for what seemed like two seconds, was disgustingly peppy again.
Then Hiei showed up, finally, and started making fun of them. This wasn't rather tactless, as everyone was rather short on temper, except Twilight, who had started singing about three-toed tree toads.
So, it was around the time of Twilight's namesake. For those readers who are either a) stupid, or b) not quick on the uptake, that means it was twilight. So, following Crystal's suggestion, they went to find an inn. Unfortunately, our characters are going to realize it might not be as easy as they thought.
"Who are you?" the innkeeper asked suspiciously and blocking his doorway, eyeing Kurama and Yusuke in their school uniforms, Hiei in his little cloak thing, and Inu-Yasha with his white hair and dog ears. He looked less suspiciously at Miroku, Sango, Twilight, and Crystal, their being in religious outfits except Sango, who still was dressed in normal clothes for that era.
"We–" Inu-Yasha began to say rudely, but Twilight, in a surprising fit of intelligence, elbowed him out of the way and began to speak.
"We...are...as you can tell, we are mikos," Twilight said with an polite smile that would have normally revealed that she didn't really have any idea what she was talking about. But the innkeeper was fortunately a very unperceptive man, and she kept on going uninterrupted. "We're...traveling, as we don't have our own shrine to protect, and...we...are traveling to a shrine!"
"Well," the innkeeper said with a sudden brightening of the face, "we don't have a miko for our shrine, so you could stay here!"
"No!!" Twilight said, with more force than she had intended. She swallowed, then said, "I mean...we...are really in training...and...we...are going to various shrines to learn from various mikos...soo...we can be the best we can be for whatever village we settle in. We are....looking for the nearest miko..."
"Well, you were going west," the innkeeper said, with a superior look, as if he was talking to someone much younger than him. Which Twilight really was, especially judging from the streaks of silver in the aging man's black hair. "The nearest miko and her shrine are east. Her name is Lady Kaede–"
"We were already there," Crystal butted in, giving a bright, superficial smile. "She's very wise, and we learned much." Seeing the innkeeper open his mouth with a wily look, she added quickly, "But not enough to be considered fully trained mikos."
"Well..." The innkeeper appeared to consider. "Who are they?" He pointed at Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei, and Inu-Yasha.
Twilight clasped her hands nervously. "They...are....our...guards!!" she said, with a small sweat drop of nervousness.
"Well..." Again the innkeeper thought. "What about the one with ears? He's no guard for ladies, I'd say."
"He...is...our pe–" Crystal began to say, ignoring Inu-Yasha's bleak glare at her.
"He's our captive," Twilight said quickly, assuming a very obviously fake superior tone. "He...is part of a robber clan, and was sent by his clan to rob us. Um...Yusuke here," she pointed at him, "with his amazing...Rei Gun..."
"Rei Gun?" The innkeeper asked, confused.
"I mean...his...Rei...Bow and Arrows," Twilight said. "He...overpowered little Inu-Yasha here."
"His name's Inu-Yasha?"
Twilight grabbed Inu-Yasha's ear and pulled it down to her level. "Does he know who you are?" she hissed into his ear.
"No, there's some rivalry between this village and Kaede's, they wouldn't have told them, and I never traveled with Kagome down this way."
"Yes," Twilight answered the innkeeper.
"Hm...I remember hearing that name somewhere..."
"No you don't!!" Twilight said, a nervous chuckle escaping her lips. "I mean...you might have, he's considered...a mighty warrior!"
"Fine then, but how can the other boy with the strange hairstyle use spiritual energy if he's not a priest? At least, he doesn't dress like one. And what about the little boy with the tail?"
"Yusuke...is learning from Miroku here," Twilight said, smiling. "And our little Shippou...he's from the same band of robbers as Inu-Yasha! Yeah...and...he was originally the one to attack us, as ceremony! And then Inu-Yasha...his...um...brother! Yeah, brother...came to rescue him."
"Please, we would appreciate it if you let us stay in your inn," Sango said kindly.
"Miroku will put up his little scroll papers to pay...I...sense something bad here!" Crystal declared. "Don't you, Miroku? Twilight?"
"Yes," Miroku said calmly. "I'll need at least five hours to do it." He smiled at the innkeeper.
"Well then," the innkeeper said cheerfully, "come in, come in. You can call me Hiroshi-san."
"Arigatou, Hiroshi-san!!" Twilight said cheerfully.
"Hiroshi? Do we have guests?" a pleasant female voice floated through the doorway.
"Yes, Hiroko-chan," the recently named Hiroshi called back through the door, a gentle smile on his face. He turned, a pleasant smile still on his face. "My wife."
Twilight smiled at him, honestly without any nervousness or acting. He had a major disposition change when speaking about his wife.
"Come along," Hiroshi said, ushering them in. He led them to a pleasant room, where a few people, presumably lodgers, were kneeling and drinking tea, or eating.
A woman, about the same age as Hiroshi, smiled at them. "Don't worry about my husband's stern exterior. He's only like that until he finds out what you might be a threat." She smiled at Hiroshi. "Sit down, sit down. Have something to eat."
"Arigatou," Twilight, Crystal, Sango, Yusuke, Kurama, Miroku, and Shippou all said. Not completely in unison though, but they all managed to say it. Except Hiei. He just moved over to a window and sat down, staring out.
Twilight instantaneously helped herself to a portion of white rice. Not large, but very quickly. She also ladled some vegetables and such onto her plate. "I'm used to Oriental food. My mom's Thai, and she usually makes rice for dinner."
"So am I," Yusuke said in a "duh" kind of voice. "I bet you would never have guessed it, me living in Japan my whole life."
Twilight ignored him dutifully, and took a bite of the rice, covered with some sauce. She chewed for a moment, then leapt for a water pitcher, which she promptly tried to pour down her throat. Everyone watched with interest, most with an amused smile.
"Hey, Yusuke, are you and Jin really related?" Crystal asked complacently, completely ignoring her friend, who was half-drenched by now. It took a moment for Yusuke to notice he was being spoken to, as he was watching Twilight with one of those, "I-wish-I-had-a-camera-for-this" expressions on his face.
"Uhhhh...I'm not really sure..."
"Of course they are," Twilight chirped happily, dumping the rest of the water on Yusuke with a pleased squeal. Not surprisingly, she ignored his cry of outrage. "I mean, they both have big anime eyes, and they both have noses, and mouths, and skin, and they constantly have no shirt on–"
"Are you implying something?!?" Yusuke yelled.
"Of course not!! And they both seem to be semi-muscular, and about the same height, and they're both really powerful, and they both fought in the Dark Tournament, and–"
"Twilight," Crystal broke in, "you don't need to give EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN REASON!!"
"And they're both guys."
Crystal suddenly glanced at Yusuke, a wicked, terribly mean smile on her face. "So far as we know."
"WHAT THE FU–"
"Are you hiding something, Yusuke?" Twilight asked, leaning forward with a truly evil smile on her face.
"What the heck are you saying?? As you mentioned, I've had my shirt off many times!! You should be able to tell!!"
"That's what plastic surgery is for!!" Twilight sang.
Yusuke glanced at Inu-Yasha, who was laughing at him. "What are you laughing at??"
"You."
The two boys promptly engaged in a battle of the wits. Unfortunately, they didn't have much of those. Twilight and Crystal smiled their evil smiles at each other, and high-fived. And missed.
R-E-A-L-I-T-I-E-S
Spell: I was going to make it longer, and have a funny little thing, but since I haven't updated in forever, I decided to go ahead and just put this up. I'll update the other thing later.
Crystal: (Pouts.) The scene was really funny!!!
Spell: Anyway, I was thinking, and I realized how much this fic sucks!!
Crystal: There she goes again.
Spell: Well, to satisfy Crystal, my first chapter really sucks. No wonder nobody's reading on!! Grr.
REVIEW REVIEW IF YOU LIKE MY STORY AT ALL REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Or die.