One-shot story attempt to make fun of certain yaoi pairings even though I'm a yaoi supporter. I did this while high on caffine so this shouldn't make any sense;
Disclaimer: I OWN Yugioh. Is that hard to understand? NOT!
Rating is subject to change but PG-13 will do for now.
Now on to the fic…
"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Yugi cackled evilly, sitting at his desk, while he added some last minute touch-ups to his ultimate plan. "My plan is faultless! After hours of sick, twisted research, I've finally created the ultimate plan!! YAMI WILL BE MINE!!!"
Yugi rolled out the blue poster board he was working on. The top was titled, OPERATION: OBLITERATE THE SEAHORSE. Below the title were some illegible diagrams along with some scribbles indicating Yugi's plan of homicide. Mainly, it had to do with a particular stick figure with an arrow pointing to it with the name "Kaiba" along with some images that supposedly mutilated said stick figure.
Yugi revised his plans. This, for sure will make his Yami his. At the sheer thought of that, Yugi began to cackle again.
Running footsteps pounded down the hallway and the door to his room was flung open.
"Yugi!" Yami called, abruptly stopping Yugi in his mid-cackle. Fortuanely, for Yugi, Yami didn't seem to notice.
"Hai, Yami?" Yugi replied innocently, quickly rolling up his plans of homicide. Yami must not know!
Yami strided in wearing a long-sleeved ebony shirt that exposed a large portion of his midriff, especially around the stomach. The sleeves flared outwards at the wrist. The shirt itself was loosely laced at the front. The backside, however, was completely covered. Black leather pants tightly wrapped his legs.
"How do I look?" Yami as hopefully, turning so Yugi can examing every angle of his outfit. He struck a pose for emphasis.
"YOU ARE TOO SEXY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!" was what nearly came out of Yugi's mouth the moment he took in Yami's outfit. But he managed to control himself.
"Wow! You look great, Yami," Yugi complimented in his usual cheerful voice. Not to mention sexy as well. It was true. The outfit did correspond with Yami's body curves, nearly able to make any desperate person want him. The spirit always seems to have good taste in clothes.
"You really think so, aibou? I'm glad to hear that," Yami said, relieved. "Should I add anything else?" Yugi slowly shook his head, still in awe at him.
"Ok then, I guess I should get ready for tonight." Yami turned to leave.
"Matte, Yami! Where will you be going?" Yugi called, jumping out of his chair.
"To Seto's place. You know, my boyfriend…" Yami replied, dreamily drifting off in a love bubble at the sound of his lover's name.
"KAIBA?!?"
"Well, DUH!!" Yami snapped, shaken out his fantasizing dream. "He asked me out so I'm going to have dinner with him at his place. I have to get ready…and by the way, aibou, what is that?" Yami curiously inquired, pointing to the rolled-up poster board Yugi clutched in his hand. He had finally noticed.
Damn it! Why am I still holding this!?
"This is my uh… school project! I was working on it before you came in," Yugi nervously answered, hoping that Yami will buy that. He mentally prayed Yami wouldn't ask to look in it. He would rather die. Oh yea, I need to ask Ryou with our own school project.
To Yugi's relief, Yami just shrugged and dropped the subject, obviously not in the mood. "I see… I first thought that was an operation to kill off Kaiba. Strange of me to think that way, isn't it?" Yami laughed. "And what's with that cackling earlier?"
SHIT! I was too careless!
Uh… I was, um…trying to laugh like Bakura!" Yugi replied hesitantly. Wrong thing to say.
Yami gave Yugi a strange LOOK.
Silence.
What Yami did next took Yugi completely by surprise. The former pharaoh grabbed his hikari by the shoulders and shook him. HARD.
"ANSWER ME, AIBOU! HAS THAT TOMB ROBBER GOTTEN TO YOU?!? DID HE TELL YOU OF ANY PLANS TO MURDER ME IN BED?! WHAT'S HIS OBJECTIVE??!!"
Actually, I caught his homicidal fever to kill off your boyfriend so you will belong to me.
"Nothing, Yami! Bakura didn't do anything!!" Yugi desperately reasoned, trying to calm the paranoid spirit.
"THAT'S A LIE, YUGI!!" Bakura probably blackmailed you to say that! Oh my poor little aibou, getting threatened like that…" At that, Yami burst into tears. "He must have been so scared and helpless…" (Yami's lost it.)
Yugi slowly inched away from Yami, eyes wide. Even though Yami was known to sometimes act as if he were in PMS due to his violent temper, this was nothing like it.
"Um, Yami…"
"Why would he do this if he has his own hikari to terrorize? Well, he won't get away with terrorizing my aibou…" Yami ranted on.
"Yami…."
I oughta take that repulsive Ring of his, twist it around his neck, then shove it up his ass and-"
"YAMI!!"
"- Yeah?"
Taking a deep breath, Yugi tried to explain. "For the last time, Bakura has nothing to do with this." When Yami opened his mouth to protest, Yugi held up a hand to stop him. "And Bakura did not tell me to say so. Just cut it out, Yami"
Yami thought about it. "You're right, Yugi," he finally admitted. "I guess I didn't know what got into me." He glanced at the clock hanging above the wall. 5:30 It showed a Dark Magician in the center with his staff representing the minutes and his hand representing the hours. Yugi had been excited when he'd won that from his school carnival.
"I better get going then. Seto-kun will pick me up in an hour." Yami quickly left the room.
Yugi wearily rubbed his temples and sat back down on his chair. The phone suddenly rang, breaking his thoughts. He reached across his desk to pick up the receiver.
"Moshi moshi?" he answered.
"Yugi!" came a very familiar voice.
"Hey, Jounouchi-kun! How are you?"
"Fine, buddy. I just wanted to know how you're doing with your project."
"I haven't started yet. Did you?"
"Nah. I'm gonna work on it with Honda later at his place."
"You better not procrastinate this time, Jou," Yugi warned. On the other line, Jounouchi snorted in laughter.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. Anyways…" Jounouchi drawled, "What's up?"
"Nothing much. Yami's going out with Kaiba and I was just about to call Ryou before you called."
"Oh I see- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!!"
Yugi had to hold the phone away from his ear so it wouldn't shatter from Jounouchi's voice. He quickly pressed it back to his ear.
"Is something wrong?" Yugi asked, concerned for his friend. On the other line, Jounouchi heaved a sigh.
"Nothing, Yugi. I guess I'll talk to ya later."
"Ok. Bye Jounouchi." Yugi hung up. What was that all about? he wondered. He then dialed Ryou's number and waited for someone to pick up.
"Bye" Jounouchi hung up, eyes blazing. After all his attemps to attract Kaiba, this is how he gets repaid?! That Yami has to go steal all his attention. That spikey-haired midget will pay for stealing Kaiba. HIS Kaiba. Although Jounouchi would never admit it, he has admired Kaiba for a long time. And he will NOT let all of his efforts become wasted to nothing.
Yami must die.
Remember, this is a one-shot attempt. There probably won't be a continuation or ending to this. So R&R and flames are welcome
Kaiba means "seahorse" in Japanese.