HOBBS I The Wrath of Keyser

by Peter Gao

It is up to the crew of the Vanguard to stop the infamous Keyser Soze from retrieving his dangerous cargo!

HOBBS I – The Wrath of Keyser

Keyser Soze sat in his magnificent throne room on Moon Base Delta, watching the repairs being made to his flagship, the "Terminator". Running through his head were numerous plans for overthrowing the evil Federation, who had made the mistake of damaging one of Keyser's significant business interests.

Naturally, when pressed, the Federation had claimed some nonsense about "Inalienable Human Rights". Absolute nonsense. They weren't Human!

The Keyser was about to work himself up into a furious rage, when Boltini3000 stalked into the room. He was a 6-foot tall, confident man, with an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The Keyser smiled.

"Welcome back Boltini my evil chum. Now, did you find out which of these accursed Federation scum did this to my 'business interest'?"

"Yes, my Lord," replied Boltini. "It's Hawthorn's ship, The Vanguard. It's a modified Intrepid class vessel, and it's currently berthed in Stardock. It's fairly advanced for a Federation vessel, but it doesn't have the shield capacity of the Terminator. An additional advantage that we have is that the Terminator's 'neutron blasters' are significantly more powerful than their phasers, although we should try and avoid their quantum torpedoes if possible."

"Do they still have the 'cargo'?" asked The Keyser.

"No, my Lord," replied Boltini. "Intelligence suggests that the cargo was transported onto an Andorian freighter, destined for Deneb IV. It's a lightly armed vessel - Starfleet probably thinks that keeping a low profile for the 'cargo' is the best security they can get!"

"My friend," boomed The Keyser. "Ready the Terminator. Armed with this intelligence, we will reclaim our 'cargo' and reap the rewards we so richly deserve, and which the Federation (spit) tried to deprive us of."

"Yes my Lord," replied Boltini, clearly delighted at the prospect of some action after weeks of spying. "Repairs are almost complete, and we can launch within the hour. One thing sir..."

"WHAT!"

"My Lord..." Boltini hesitated. "My Lord, the Vanguard will be on patrol in the area. We must be careful."

"Very well." The Keyser stood in thought. "It's a no-brainer. We go ahead."

"Yes my Lord," sneered Boltini. "And sir..."

"What now?"

"Can I install the pie launcher?"

"Oh, if you must...."

---

"Yes, I'll have a cup of tea." PG sat at a table in a small Old Earth cafe, chatting with James T. Kirk.

"There you go." Kirk poured PG a cup of tea.

"So," PG said while leaning back in his chair, "let's talk about this starship of yours...the Enterprise."

"Yes, she's a fine ship..." Kirk smiled. His eyes displayed only the tiniest hint of a tear. "I miss her."

"Retirement?" PG inquired.

"Yeah, I'll tell you...even though you're not a captain yet, don't retire from Starfleet. Believe me, you'll regret it."

"You're right..."

A voice filled the room. "All senior officers to the conference lounge."

"Well, I'll talk to you later, the bridge needs me." PG made a face.

Kirk nodded. "Goodbye. I'll just be waiting here in the holographic memory bank."

A smile crossed PG's face. "Computer, end program." The cafe vanished, to be replaced with the silvery holodeck walls.

---

As PG walked through the door of the lounge, the people assembled there turned to glare at him. With a guilty look, PG took a seat.

AdmH cleared her throat. "As I was saying before Mr. PG showed up late..." She shot a mild Death Glare at PG.

"Sorry," he muttered, sliding down even lower in his seat.

"Anyway," AdmH resumed, "we've been contacted by Starfleet and told to keep a guard on the freighter carrying the, ah, cargo."

"Why?" NAHTMMM inquired.

"Several surveillance satellites have picked up activities near Tora VII."

Adam's eyes widened. "Moon Base Delta!"

AdmH nodded. "They think so too."

"Yellow alert?" PG suggested.

The Admiral's eyebrows rose slightly, almost imperceptibly. "Yeah."

---

"Nope. Go fish," BASICman said without much enthusiasm. Got any sevens?"

"As a matter of fact--" Jim's comment was interrupted by a couple of very loud sounds, almost like the ship was being attacked. Within a second, the Red Alert klaxons sounded.

A look of panic crossed BASICman's face. "Oh, sh...."

---

"Take us out Mr. Boltini," The Keyser commanded as he settled into his ridiculously large, skull-covered, evil-looking chair.

"Aye, my Lord," Boltini answered. "Helm, all engines full reverse!"

"Boltini, we're still in the docking ba...."

The Terminator blasted backward through the hidden docking bay doors of Moon Base Delta, killing several NESes (Nameless Ensign Slaves).

"Mr. Boltini."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"You are truly evil."

"Yes my Lord. Oh, and my Lord, its been 48 hours, the bet, you won the bet fair and square, but I don't have to call you Lord anymore."

"Blast," the Keyser cursed and shot a nameless ensign slave.

"Preparing to destroy Moon Base Delta," Boltini said. "Those Federation types think they are so clever. Trying to track us down. Well, they'll never find Moon Base…Fluffy Bunny?! What the hell?"

"Yes, the name is so evil the Federation will never think of it," Keyser said as he watched the nameless ensign slave's body being hauled away. "We're going to need more nameless ensign slaves."

"We wouldn't if you didn't keep shooting them."

"I didn't kill all of them," the Keyser spoke.

"Look, it was an experimental pie. And it had the desired results."

"Yeah, but did it have to be so.... squishy?"

"Yes. Yes it did. Set course for Deneb IV. Ludicrous Speed. Engage."

---

The Keyser brooded. He was currently enjoying a bath - the bathtub was made of solid gold, and was strategically located on the bridge, in front of the main viewer.

Various nameless, naked handmaidens were tending to his every need, but he still wasn't happy.

"BOLTINI!" roared the Keyser.

"What?" replied Boltini, eyes shut tightly.

"I demand a tactical report."

"Well..." Boltini was clearly nervous. "We are 26 hours away from Deneb IV... no other ships on the scope and we're running out of hot water..."

"WHAT!!!!" screamed the Keyser. "This is a bloody alien spaceship that we found, highly advanced in every form of technology, light years ahead of anything that the pathetic Federation (spit) can produce. How did we run out of hot water???"

Boltini, with his hands over his eyes, said, "Well, you see...."

"Spit it out, man!"

"Well, it turns out that the best way to make a pie really destructive is to boil it...."

The Keyser laughed. "Oh, you poor, pitiable fool. So misguided, yet so loyal to the cause. Have you never heard of a microwave oven?" The Keyser sighed. He knew his bath was over.

"Handmaidens," commanded the Keyser. "Prepare the towel of doom. The water is getting cold. Oh, and Boltini...."

"Yeah?"

"Keep your eyes shut…and make me a cup of tea."

"Damn you!!"

---

BASICman was sitting alone at a table, looking depressed, annoyed, and embarrassed all at once, when The Commadaunt walked up to him. "Hey there, how's it going? Mind if I sit with you?"

BASICman sighed. "Sure, as long as you aren't going to rib me about yesterday."

"Why, what happened?" TC looked concerned.

BASICman's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, you don't know? I won't tell you then. Lovely weather we're having, eh?"

The Commadaunt looked confused.

"Oh, all right." BASICman sighed. "I don't know what got into me. We were supposed to run through a surprise-attack drill, but the procedure hit a snag somewhere and we didn't hear any alarms for forever, and I was just so bored out of my mind waiting for something -- anything -- to happen that I started a game of "Go Fish with Jim. And then those fake explosions and Red Alert alarms finally sounded. So there we were, each holding a bunch of playing cards..."

"Ah, I see. Did you get caught?"

"I was red-handed." BASICman winced. "Oh, wonderful. Now I'm poking fun at myself."

TC looked confused again. "Well, a good sense of humor's good to have in embarrassing situations, but I don't get it."

BASICman slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "All my cards were diamonds and hearts."

"Oh?" TC suddenly understood. "Oh. I get it. Yeah, that's funny. Just don't get down on yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm trying not to. Engineering still turned in a pretty fair rating anyway. An 89."

"Hey, that's not so bad. Science only got an 86 rating. NAH was under his console fixing a faulty circuit when the Red Alert alarm finally went off, and it startled him so bad he kind of jumped, and he hit his head on the console and got knocked woozy pretty bad."

"Ouch. That must have hurt."

TC's face was a picture of mock solemnity. "Yeah, and the rest of Science isn't too happy about it. They were talking about making him do all the dishes for the labs for the next week."

"I didn't know the labs had any dishes to wash."

"Well, they were calling the dishes 'peaty dishes' or something..."

BASICman raised an eyebrow. "Oh, petri dishes? Uh...oookay. You sure they weren't kidding about that?"

"They were laughing." TC shrugged. "Why?"

"It sounds like a really bad pun to me. I don't think they meant it."

"Oh, okay." TC changed the subject before it could get any weirder. "So…how about this weather eh?"

---

"Keyser!"

"Yes, Boltini?"

"We have the Andorians on our sensors."

"Put it on the main viewer."

The Andorian cargo vessel appears on the screen.

"What an ugly garbage scow," the Keyser spat.

"Not as ugly as that garbage scow they call the Vanguard. HAHAHAHAHA." Boltini continued to giggle to himself as he made preparations to tractor beam the cargo ship.

"Tractor beam engaged, I'm reeling them in."

"Go bring me back my prize Boltini," Keyser said. "And stop giggling."

"Yes sir. Boarding party, prepare to blast some little green men."

"They're blue, Boltini."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then who are the green ones?"

"Orions are green, I think..."

"So are these the ones that gave us our computer upgrade?" Boltini asked puzzled-ly.

"No, no you moron, those were the Binars."

"So these are like my haircutting slave?"

"That's a Bolian."

"A Bolian, Boltini."

"Like the math?"

"Go board the ship you idiot!"

---

AdmH looked around, watching her crew do their work. All was normal...except for the light snoring noise that began to fill the room. Fixing a Death Glare on the sleeper's back, she shouted. "PG!"

PG woke up suddenly. "Huh? Tribbles on fire? Ship runaway?"

"You're sleeping on the job again," AdmH scolded.

PG looked sheepish.

Adam whispered to TJ, "Jeez, poor PG, always in trouble."

"Tell me about it," TJ replied.

"Captain." Kaitz's voice rang out on the quiet bridge. "We've got the Andorian freighter on sensors."

"The Terminator?" AdmH inquired.

"It's there. It's attacking the freighter!"

"We can't let them have the cargo, it's too dangerous. How long will it take to get there?"

"Approximately six minutes at high warp," Kaitz reported.

"Ice! Set a course for the freighter. Warp 9," AdmH commanded.

"Aye aye," Cap. Ice replied.

"Engage!"

---

Boltini materialized in the Andorian freighter's cargo bay only to find himself staring down the muzzle of a phaser pistol.

"Hiya, Boltini," GeorgeKirk said. "Made any good pies lately?"

"Don't just stand there, you fools!" Boltini shouted to his boarding party. "Shoot him!"

Boltini's minions turned their weapons on him instead.

"What are you doing?" Boltini demanded.

GK shrugged. "Y'know, the Keyser seriously underpays his men. A thousand credits each, and now they work for me."

"You'll never get away with this," Boltini snarled.

"I've heard that before," GK said as he plucked Boltini's weapons from his belt. "Interesting piece of cargo here." He walked around a large cargo carrier in the center of the room. "It's so top-secret, Starfleet put it in a completely shielded container; sensor scans can't penetrate it. Could be empty, for all we know."

"Is it?" Boltini asked.

GK grinned. "You'll find out." He handed Boltini his communicator. "Here. Call over to the Keyser and let him know he can beam up the cargo. Do it, or I drop antimatter containment and cause an explosion that'll destroy both our ships."

Boltini took the communicator. "How do I know you're not bluffing?"

"There's only one way to find out. Do you really want to take the chance?"

Boltini sighed and activated the communicator. "Keyser, we've secured the ship. You may beam up the cargo."

"Well done, Boltini," Keyser replied. The cargo container dissolved into glittering particles and disappeared.

GK counted to seven, then produced a PADD from his jacket and thumbed a control.

A viciously powerful explosion ripped through the innards of the Terminator. A frozen plume of atmosphere came from a breach in its hull as the massive vessel began to drift.

GK smiled. "Checkmate."

"This is ridiculous!" Said Boltini as he swung his arm around and caught one of his betrayers in the chest with his hook. He continued to swing using the nameless dying betrayer as a ram to send all the betrayers flying.

As he turned to face GK again he reached behind him and pulled out a bat'leth. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a small PADD. He pressed a button and the betrayers began writhing painfully on the floor, then stopped forever.

"The Keyser does not take betrayal so well," Boltini sneered. "Now, you will learn what pain is."

GK coolly raised his phaser and pointed it at Boltini's head.

"I don't think so," GK smiled back at him.

Boltini swung the bat'leth so fast GK didn't even see it. The phaser was split in two and sent flying across the room.

"Funny thing about me and bat'leths," Boltini said as he advanced on the retreating GK. "They won't let me into the tournaments any more. Too many people were getting killed. And I don't just mean the contenders."

The cargo ship rocked under their feet.

"Sounds like your little plan didn't slow the Keyser down very much," Boltini said with a wild grin. GK backed up against a wall and Boltini pressed the blade to his throat. "Now, tell me. Why are you here? And tell me, where I can find James... T... Kirk. Wait, no, sorry. Tell me where the real cargo is!"

GK's eyes flashed briefly across the room to a small container. Boltini turned and looked at it.

"Excellent," he said and looked at GK. He punched GK in the face with the handle of the bat'leth and watched him sink to the floor, holding a bleeding nose. "You won't get in my way again."

Boltini swung his blade and sliced through the back of GK's leg. Blood started to pool on the floor as GK screamed in pain.

"Oops, I cut you," Boltini whispered. "Looks like a major artery too. I hope the doctors find you before you bleed to death."

Boltini walked over to the smaller container and pulled out his communicator, all the while GK is hanging on to his bleeding leg, staring at Boltini with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"Sir, I have the real cargo now. My apologies. This one even looks like it. I am beaming back."

"Excellent Boltini, but hurry, the Vanguard is approaching."

Before GK passed out, he saw Boltini disappear in a sparkle of light with the cargo.

---

"Captain, my scans show that the Terminator is leaving the freighter," Kaitz announced.

"What? They couldn't have got it so easily. GK was supposed to protect it, and you all know him. He's crafty," AdmH said more to herself than to the others.

"No kidding," PG muttered.

Cap. Ice checked his console. "We're here."

"Scan for the cargo," AdmH ordered.

Kaitz' eyes widened. "It's gone!"

AdmH looked worried. "And GK?"

"He's alive, but barely."

"Bridge to transporter room. Lock onto GK and what's left of the Andorian crew and beam them directly to sickbay."

"Yes ma'am," Nibbles answered.

"I'll be in sickbay," AdmH said. "Adam, you have the bridge."

---

"No, not there!" Anna nearly shouted. "Jeez, I hate trainees."

"Sorry ma'am, I thought that was the carotid artery," the embarrassed trainee mumbled.

"No, you idiot, that's the iliac artery. In the lower body, remember?" Apparently EWDEE wasn't fond of trainees either.

"Oh. Right." The trainee's face turned a bright red.

Anna was fed up. "Oh, forget it, you can tend to the Andorians." The trainee did as told.

Just then, AdmH entered the sickbay. "Report!"

Never looking up from her work, Anna said, "Most of the Andorians are fine. GK is suffering from massive bleeding. We're trying to help him now."

"Good."

GK was barely conscious. "Captain..."

"Lie still, you're still bleeding," EWDEE advised. "Anna! Hurry!"

"I'm trying!"

AdmH walked to the biobed where GK lay. "What is it, GK?"

It was a struggle for GK to get the words out. "The frequency…is 0.3235-- URG!"

"Get him some anesthetics! What were you saying, GK?"

"The...device that was beamed aboard..."

"The bomb. Yes, we told you to do that, but the signal was at 0.4..."

"I had to change it...the Andorian warp drive was interfering...with its silent running."

"No problem. Everything will be fine. Thank you for doing this."

"No problem." GK fell asleep.

"I'll be on the bridge." AdmH left sickbay, and hoped that GK would be all right.

---

"Kaitz, can you detect the Terminator?" Adam asked.

Kaitz shook her head. "I got nothing, it must have cloaked or something"

AdmH stepped through the turbolift doors. "Kaitz, use the sensors to find a vessel emitting a signal with the frequency of 0.3235."

A pause. And then, "Got it! It's two light-years away."

A slight smile crossed AdmH's face. "Cap. Ice, set a course to intercept, warp 9. Engage!"

---

"How did we detect the Terminator anyway?" Asked NAH.

"This is what you get for not listening at meetings." AdmH said. "When the bomb exploded, it sprayed out hundreds of small transmitters, ingenious device."

Ice looked up from the helm. "The Terminator's speed has leveled off at Warp 9.6. We're at Warp 9.92; we should overtake them within 20 minutes."

"Thank you, Mr. Ice," AdmH said. "Kaitz, are there any star systems, nebulae, or asteroid fields in the area that the Keyser could use to evade us?"

Kaitz checked her instruments. "No ma'am, not on this heading. Nothing but space, space, and more space."

The Admiral nodded. "Thank you." She turned to her tactical officer. "PG, I want all weapons systems as hot as you can make them. Have your people finished installing the Breen energy dampener we got from that Tholian trader?"

"Yes ma'am, but it hasn't been tested. Vanessa's worried it'll play hell with the ship's power grid."

"Why not just run simulations to find out?"

PG shrugged. "Not enough data. No ship has ever survived an encounter with a vessel so armed, and we're the first bunch from the Federation to get our hands on one."

"Keep me posted," AdmH said. "Adam, I want damage control teams ready to go at a second's notice. And make sure the entire crew is armed and prepared to repel boarders."

Adam nodded. "Will do."

"People, we simply can't allow the Keyser to get away with that cargo container." AdmH said. The turbolift doors hissed open. "The security of the entire quadrant depends-"

"Um, Admiral, I hate to interrupt your very moving and certainly most inspirational speech," GK said as he walked out of the lift. "But I've got a teensy little confession to make."

AdmH turned to look at him, and the severity in her tone didn't drop one notch. "Mr. Kirk, one hour ago you were bleeding to death in my sickbay. What are you doing on the bridge?"

A lopsided grin stretched across GK's face. "Anna's the best danged medic in the fleet. She deserves a raise. Anyway, that plan of yours that I almost carried out to perfection was nearly flawless. Except that it didn't give us much of a fallback position if the Keyser outmaneuvered us. So, I took it upon myself to take an extra . . . precaution."

AdmH raised an eyebrow. "What did you do and why wasn't I consulted? Answer the last question first."

GK looked uncomfortable. "Well, as PG would say, the most effective security measures are the ones your enemy doesn't know about."

AdmH interrupted. "I've never heard him say that."

"It's something he would say if anyone asked him. Anyway, I switched the cargo with an identical container from my ship. The real cargo won't turn up on any sensor scan due to the, ah, unique properties of one of my cargo holds. And if anyone tries to get in there but me, my ship'll do something kind of unexpected."

"How unexpected?"

"Sorry, I really can't say. No one'll die, I promise."

AdmH regarded him severely, and then broke into a smile. "Good work, GK. Now get below and make sure your ship is secure. People, if the Keyser's figured out he has the wrong cargo…" She was suddenly cut off by beeps from the sensors. "Report!"

Mcmac tapped a few LCARS. "The Terminator has stopped and is reversing course at warp 9.995…I think they know."

AdmH turned to GK "It's a good thing you told us when you did…" GK forced a smile. "At this speed we can't get away…all hands, red alert! Battle Stations!" Shouted AdmH through the comm. System.

PG moved to the turbo lift. "All security teams report to me in the cargo bay."

---

"All right, troops." PG paced back and forth like a drill sergeant. "From tactical information gathered by the ever brave and crafty GK, it seems that the soldiers on the Terminator are somewhat...desperate."

"What do you mean, sir?" A random nameless ensign chimed in.

PG's tone altered slightly. "They have nothing to lose, as they are killed around the clock by Keyser." Many of the nameless ensigns present looked disturbed, but quickly hid their feelings. "So remember, and this is really hard for one to do... Set all phasers on kill."

"Yes sir!" The enthusiastic-sounding reply heightened PG's faith in his command.

PG grinned. "Now troops, I know we've been through a lot. We've come up against Romulans, Boltini, tribbles, the Pakled, et cetera. You've all shown me how capable you are. Don't let me down this time."

"We won't sir!"

"Dismissed!"

---

"Get me that hyper spanner," Vanessa said without looking up.

"Here." Jim handed it to Vanessa.

"Okay, let's see here," Vanessa muttered. "Careful...careful...there!"

"What are you doing?" Jim asked.

"The captain has ordered us to get the best out of our weapons, so I'm changing the yields of some of our torpedoes."

"Good idea."

---

AdmH paced the bridge, performing one final check. "Shields!"

"One hundred percent."

"Engines?"

"A hundred percent, captain."

"Weapons?"

"One hundred percent."

"Time?"

"Thirty seconds until we're within weapons range."

"Hawthorne to GK. How's it going down there?"

GK replied. "Everything's fine, captain. Let's lock and load!"

"Alright." AdmH cut the comm. link. "Drop out of warp."

"Maneuvering to block Soze's path, captain," Ice called from the helm.

"Hailing frequencies open," TC said.

AdmH briefly wondered if she was really that predictable before beginning the conversation.

"What do you want?" She said.

Soze showed up onscreen wearing a trademarked evildoers' smirk. "Just here to kick your butt before I take my cargo here home with me." He said has he patted a box beside him.

He doesn't know? Thought the Admiral. Her mind is now racing, and quickly, she said, "I must warn you that I have been authorized to protect this cargo ship and its cargo with violence if need be. So return the cargo, or I'll be forced to protect it out from the shattered remains of your cargo bay."

An evil laugh came over the comm. link. "You'll do no such thing! My massively powerful ship will blast your pathetic garbage scow to smithereens!"

AdmH sounded slightly amused. "How can you do that with your shields half down, extra mass reducing your maneuverability, some of your weapons disabled, and internal gravity off?"

The Admiral's words had clearly reminded him of his ship's problems. "Oh yeah, I kinda forgot about all that." Something else occurred to him. "Hey! How could you tell that our artificial gravity is compromised?"

"Whatever else I believe about you, Keyser, I do not particularly believe that you could engage in a conversation for five straight minutes while doing a handstand in your captain's chair."

"Oh, yeah. I was wondering about the whole floor-where-the-ceiling-is business. Boltini!"

"What is your command, Your Evilness?" Boltini replied to Keyser.

"Add a note to my business calendar, this Thursday: 'Spend some time learning to conduct an intelligent conversation while doing a handstand on the arms of a chair.'"

AdmH brought the topic back to the cargo. "Face it, Keyser. We have the upper hand. Surrender the cargo."

Keyser appeared to think. "Hmmm. Give me a moment and I'll consider it--"

"NO!" Boltini cut in suddenly. "No, Your Evilness, you cannot be serious! We can never be defeated as long as our lucky Jack-in-the-Box antenna ball rests securely on the end of our antenna!"

Keyser looked at the nameless communications person and made a throat slashing gesture. The nameless communications person's eyes widened, and he ducked under his console in fright.

"Oh, get out from under there, stupid fool. I'm not going to kill you -- yet. I meant for you to cut our connection with the garbage scow out there," Keyser said irritably.

The nameless communications person cautiously crept back up and cut the connection.

Keyser turned to Boltini. "I thought I told you to take that thing off the antenna. It messes with my reception." He rubbed his chin in an evilly thoughtful manner. "Now I know why KEVL has been coming in all static-ly lately."

"But it's our lucky antenna ball!" Boltini protested. "It even survived that infernal trickery by that GeorgeKirk person. Grrr, how dare he use such underhanded trickery? There ought to be a law!"

"Relax, Boltini. I'm just messing with their feeble minds a little." Keyser, now hovering near the ceiling, felt the tug of gravity. "Ah, here comes the artificial gravity again."

The artificial gravity suddenly snapped back into action. And Keyser suddenly dropped to the floor, along with everything else on the ship. Maintaining what dignity he had left, he returned to his chair. "Helm, get ready the pies and prepare to fire. Communications, reopen the link." The nameless communications person nervously did as he was told.

"My answer is no," Keyser sneered at the viewscreen. "Nyaa nyaa!"

"Somehow I was expecting that," AdmH replied calmly.

"Really?" Keyser looked surprised. "Drat. I must work on my unexpected ability."

Keyser turned to Boltini. "Mr. Boltini, if you wouldn't mind firing the Ultimate Pie of Doom..."

"Yes sir!" Boltini replied, grinning like a madman as he pushed the button. The Ultimate Pie of Doom blasted from the front of the ship and enveloped the Vanguard's shields in a sticky, nasty mess. "Their sensors are now useless, Keyser."

Keyser also grinned. "That pie filling of yours is really rather amazing, Boltini. Apple?"

"Banana cream. It's funnier. Of course, I made a few modifications. It's not easy to get sugar to stick to energy shields."

"What was your solution?"

"I wasn't using enough banana." Boltini checked his console. "Sir, engine room reports that the engines are back to full capacity."

"It wasn't at full capacity before?"

"Uhh…no?"

"Excellent. Deploy those cloaked, self-replicating mines we stole and set a course at maximum warp to Fluffy Bunny, where I can enjoy my real cargo!"

"Real?"

"Whatever, just follow my orders!"

"Aye sir, course laid in. The mines are deployed and are beginning to replicate."

The Terminator vanished at Ludicrous Speed.

---

"Captain! Our sensors are useless!" Kaitz called.

"I guess you're out of a job, then," NAH remarked.

Kaitz paused only long enough to shoot a glare at NAH.

"No matter," AdmH said. "We have the real cargo anyway. PG, is there any way we can get rid of this...banana pie filling?"

"Of course. You're talking to the master here." PG pressed a few buttons, and a photon torpedo quickly destroyed the cream.

"Good work," AdmH began to say before an explosion rocked the bridge. "Report!"

"Sensors are back online...but I'm not reading anything!" Another explosion. "Hull breach on deck 12!"

"Maneuver us away. What the hell is that?"

"It seems to be a cloaked ship," PG reported.

"Scan--" A third explosion made the lights flicker madly.

"Hull breaches on decks two through four!"

AdmH managed to regain her balance. "Scan for neutrino emissions!"

Kaitz did so. "Scanning...got it. Whatever it is, it's too small to be ships."

"Mines!" PG voiced the answer before anyone else could.

"Target and fire!"

PG fired a spread of torpedoes, detonating most of the mines. The surviving mines began to replicate.

"They're replicating!" Kaitz reported.

"Keep firing!" AdmH ordered.

The helm suddenly exploded, throwing Cap. Ice from his seat. "Aahhhh!" A nameless ensign hurried to help Ice to sickbay.

PG fired a final volley of torpedoes. "All of the mines are gone," Kaitz reported, coughing.

AdmH stood up. "Good work, everyone. Damage report!"

PG broke the news. "Hull breaches on decks two, three, four, six, and twelve. Twenty-four injured...and four dead."

"We can't stay here, the Keyser might know he's got the wrong cargo at any minute." AdmH assessed the situation. "How far to the nearest starbase?"

"Starbase 235, forty-seven light-years away."

"That's too far. What about nebulas?"

"There's a Mutara nebula about half a light-year away."

"That's odd," Said NAH, "I thought you said there was just space here."

"Little mistake…" replied Kaitz.

"All right. Helmsman, plot a course, warp 6."

The ensign who took Ice's place replied with an "Aye aye."

"Engage."

---

The Keyser stood on one hand, deep in thought. Suddenly, Boltini burst through the door.

"Sir...."

"Dammit!" screamed The Keyser as he lost his balance. "What is it now, Boltini?"

"Sir, we've escaped the Federation ship..."

"Yes" mused The Keyser. "It was too easy. I suspect something is amiss..."

"Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you...."

"Maybe the cargo we picked up was the wrong item..." said The Keyser, thinking out loud.

"SIR!" screamed Boltini, clearly angry. "We picked up the wrong bloody cargo!"

The Keyser laughed out loud. "Mr. Boltini, I know. How else could we escape so easily? My powerful, evil intellect has worked that one out for itself. Now, I want you to do a few things for me...."

"Anything" said Boltini, waving his hook around in a menacing manner.

"First" said The Keyser, "fill the pies with jam. I want to be able to use the 'jam their sensors' joke from Spaceballs. Secondly, bring me GeorgeKirk's head on a stick. Third, we know the cargo wasn't on the Andorian ship, therefore it must have been switched someplace else - we need to be a bit more underhanded in our dealings with these scum."

Boltini was struggling to remember all this. "Gotcha" he said. "Jam, head, under. Got it."

The Keyser sighed. "Mr. Boltini, if you can manage that, there will be a big bonus for you." Boltini cheered! "And" said The Keyser, "for all you soldiers, there will be a big bonus for all of you once we retrieve the 'special cargo'." The ship reverberated with cheering.

"Mr. Boltini. Prepare your pies. We're going after the real cargo this time, and nothing can stop us. Nothing, you hear? MWWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!! Now, lets take a coffee break."

"Ok."

"But before we do that…SET A COURSE FOR THE VANGUARD!!!"

---

Deep inside the nebula, AdmH ordered full stop.

"Vanessa, I need the best repair estimate you can give me," she said.

"At least two hours," Vanessa said over the intercom, "Not including the polishing of the hull."

AdmH smiled. "Thanks, Vanessa. I'll hold you to that. Bridge out. People, let's shut down all nonessential systems and give Vanessa time to patch things up."

As the crew got to work, Adam leaned over to the Admiral. "I know the nebula's interference will hide us from sensors," he said quietly, "but how do you know Keyser's not going to come in here looking for us?"

AdmH leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee. "Because," she said, "he's seen The Wrath of Khan."

---

The Terminator hung menacingly in space just outside the angry, roiling nebula.

"That's the Vanguard's impulse trail all right," Boltini said as he looked up from his instruments.

The Keyser sunk down into his plush command throne and sipped his bloodwine. "Thank you, Mr. Boltini. Hold position."

"Aren't we going to go in after them?"

"That's precisely what AD-mee-ral Hawthorne wants me to do." Keyser smirked. "But I'm no fool. I've seen The Wrath of Khan."

"So we're just going to wait for them?"

The Keyser frowned threateningly. "Do you have an appointment, Mr. Boltini? A date with some hideous she-beast, perhaps?"

Boltini swallowed hard. "No, sir."

"Very good, then we will wait. The only way the pathetic Vanguard could possibly damage us is if they've managed to acquire a Breen energy dampener; and it's not like they could just buy one from a Tholian trader." The Keyser paused, troubled. "Boltini, did that sound like foreshadowing to you?"

Boltini scratched his head. "Four of what?"

"Never mind." The Keyser took another sip of bloodwine as he stared at the viewscreen. "Never mind."

---

AdmH sighed.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked.

"What's wrong? I'll tell you, there's a madman out there that wants to kill us."

"Alright," Adam said after a long pause.

"Suggestions?" The Admiral asked.

"We can take a look at the cargo," Adam finally said after another long pause.

"Fine," AdmH said as she got up. "The bridge is yours, PG."

PG jumped into the captain's chair and yelled, "Wahoo!"

"On second thought," AdmH said with a frown. "Kaitz, you have the bridge."

"Thank you Captain," Kaitz said with a smile.

PG grumbled as he got back out of the chair.

---

"Well, here she is," GK said proudly.

"You know something," AdmH pondered. "We were never told what it actually was, all we knew is that the Keyser wanted it, and it was a weapon...obviously."

"Unfortunately, I don't know that for sure either," GK responded. "Although rumors have been going around that it is either a Thaleron based weapon...or a Giant Pie Weapon."

"Pie?" The Admiral said. She thought for a moment then hit her combadge. "PG, get down here."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!?!" PG yelled, obviously still angry that Kaitz got to take over the Captain's chair.

AdmH gave her characteristic death glare.

"Ok, jeez, who knew that that stare could transmit through the comm. system..."

PG arrived in the cargo hold a couple minutes later.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"This cargo container, it is…the CARGO," Adam said.

PG whistled. "Nice...."

"Rumors have sprung up that it is a giant pie thrower," GK said.

PG got excited. "Really? Let's open it up!" He lunged for the box.

AdmH and Adam all yelled in unison, "NOOO!!!!"

Before anyone could stop him, PG flung open the cargo container.

"PG, no!" AdmH shouted as everyone ran for cover.

Nothing happened.

"What the…?" Adam said as he got up.

GK was grinning from ear to ear. "Take a look."

Adam and AdmH stood up and walked towards the container, what they saw made them laugh and sigh with relief at the same time.

"You see, I knew something like this was going to happen, so I took precautions." Said GK as he pointed to a second box inside the opened cargo container.

"So the cargo is in the second box?"

"The sixth actually…I think."

"So what now captain?" Asked PG.

"Well, we can't stay in here forever…prepare for battle."

"Aye aye!"

---

"Sir?"

"What is it, Mr. Boltini? And from now on I want you to refer to me as The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Keyser," The Keyser responded as he looked at his reflection in a console.

"Are the swirling gases of that nebula making you dizzy too?" Boltini asked.

"I think that's fairly obvious, Mr. Boltini."

"Sir?"

"What now?" The Keyser asked impatiently.

"What if they open it?"

"You don't really think they'd be stupid enough to do that," The Keyser said. "I don't put much faith in the Ad-mee-ral, but she doesn't have a crew that is that stupid."

"According to my crew roster PG15 is on board," Boltini said looking up from a console.

"Sir?"

"I'm thinking Boltini," The Keyser said as he gazed at the nebula.

"Just suppose they did open it. Just suppose," Boltini said as the Keyser gave him a dirty look. "It wouldn't necessarily go off would it?"

"It depends on how vigorously you open it I suppose."

"My Lord..." A Nameless Ensign Slave said.

"What is it?"

"I am getting massive power readings coming out of the nebula," the NES reported.

"PG?" The Keyser asked.

"PG," Boltini answered.

"Then they only have one chance," Keyser said, rising from his seat.

"I'm backing us away from the nebula," Boltini said as he began entering commands into the computer. "Targeting all weapons on the nebula too, just in case they do figure it out."

"How long do they have?" An NES asked.

Keyser pulled out a blaster and shot the NES.

"Nameless ensigns aren't allowed to make statements that advance plot!" Keyser roared.

"We haven't done a whole lot of plot advancement ourselves," Boltini observed.

"Quiet you. Let's just wait and see," the Keyser said as he lowered himself back in to his chair.

---

"Thirty seconds to nebula perimeter!" Ice said.

"No doubt the Keyser has detected us. Prepare to cut in the warp drive." AdmH said. "I want a 1.5 second burst at warp two on my mark."

"Yes ma'am!" Ice replied.

"PG, stand by on the energy dampener. Everyone hold on." AdmH said. "Mr. Ice . . .MARK!"

The Vanguard's warp engines flashed, and one point five seconds later it appeared behind the Terminator.

"PG, fire!"

---

The Terminator rocked hard and its power levels plummeted.

"We've been hit with a Breen energy dampener!" Boltini shouted.

"All power to the Neutron Blasters!" the Keyser yelled. "Fire!"

---

The Vanguard was hit hard.

"Report!" AdmH said.

"We're dead in the water, Captain!" mcmac said. "All systems running on auxiliary power. Barely."

"What about the Terminator?" Adam asked.

"Looks like they're in the same boat we are." PG said. "Thank God for the energy dampener!"

---

"Blast that infernal energy dampener!" the Keyser roared. "Does anything work? Frap rays? Mordo blasters? Bleem torpedoes? Mosquito Deleto?"

"We're totally dead!" Boltini said. "Gravity and life support are running on battery power only."

"It's not fair," the Keyser growled. "I'm supposed to be the only one with a super weapon."

The Keyser sat, thinking evil thoughts, as the ship died around him. Suddenly he brightened.

"Mr. Boltini," said The Keyser, in an unusually pleasant tone of voice. Boltini started quaking in his boots. To calm his nerves, he castrated a NES with his hook.

"Err, yes O' Keyser?"

"Is it reasonable to assume that our two vessels are equally damaged?"

"Not really," said Boltini. "We've been badly hit - we're going to die...."

"Yes, yes, yes," said The Keyser with disdain. "Such a doom and gloom merchant. Don't forget the auto repair circuits."

"Gosh," said Boltini. "You're right. I remember now why you're the boss. Such charisma, such intellect, such style, such a sense of daring-do...loser"

"Yes, thank you Mr. Boltini, now please shut up." Boltini shut up. "Now, the auto-repair circuits can fix most of the damage before the Vanguard and Ad-mee-ral Hawthorne can get their ship back into action. We can blow them out of the stars, but we'll still be stuck here with no warp drive. According to these readouts, we need new plasma injectors - the only thing the repair circuits can't repair."

Boltini looked glum. "It doesn't look good, does it? Still, it's lucky they don't know about the repair circuits. They probably think they have the edge right now."

The Keyser beamed. "Indeed, Mr. Boltini. And I have a cunning plan...."

"Oh sir," Boltini exclaimed. "Does it involve my pie-grenade launcher?"

"Not this time," replied The Keyser. "We are going to give them hell though - we'll board their vessel, go to engineering, steal their injectors and the schematics for their 'super weapon', jettison their warp core and emergency batteries, find out where our 'cargo' is, beat up GeorgeKirk then slip away back to our ship, blow them up then warp away!"

"HURRAH!" shouted Boltini. "With such a great plan, what can possibly go wrong?"

The Keyser leaned back into his throne. "Exactly, Mr. Boltini, my evil chum. Their sensors will be down for a good while yet, so they won't even see us coming. Now, let's go and get suited up - we have some havoc to wreak."

"Yes sir! I'll tell the soldiers!"

---

Boltini drifted silently through empty space, propelled by the maneuvering pack on his back. He pushed some keys on the arm of his stolen Starfleet EV suit and Ride of the Valkyries began playing over the assault team's intercom.

"Excellent choice, Mr. Boltini," Keyser said as they sped closer to the derelict Vanguard.

Boltini hummed along and fingered the bat'leth attached to his pack. His finger was starting to get the itch it got when he wanted to kill something. Boltini's multiple personality disorder kicked in and he changed from comical evil sidekick to murderous lunatic.

The assault team closed the distance to the Vanguard and magnetized themselves to the outer hull. They made their way quietly to an airlock.

"Mr. Boltini, the explosive cupcakes."

Boltini placed the explosive cupcakes around the airlock. They stepped back and he detonated them. The ship rocked and the airlock doors were blown out into space. The assault team entered the airlock then overrode the commands to enter the ship. Boltini sliced a crewmember open with his bat'leth as he tried to call for security.

The Keyser kicked the lifeless body of the crewmember out of his way.

"Boltini, get to engineering, I'm going to the bridge to taunt the Ad-mee-ral."

"Aye aye"

Boltini ran down the corridor with half the assault team behind him with a murderous glint in his eye.

---

"Tactics," AdmH said suddenly.

Adam looked at her. "What?"

"We're both dead in the water," AdmH continued. "It's obvious that Soze will try something; there's no doubt that he's the one who just boarded our ship."

"Admiral," Kaitz began, "need I remind you that we are under repair and that Keyser Soze's ship is heavily damaged and that it will take at least a week for them to do repairs and with our sensors out, we don't know WHAT that was..." She paused to take a breath.

"Have you watched their ship?" AdmH said to Kaitz, who was trying to catch her breath.

Kaitz looked confused. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Admiral."

"Put their ship on the viewscreen and increase magnification by two hundred percent."

Kaitz did so, and more than a few pairs of eyes widened as they looked at the Terminator.

"What's happening?" Adam looked shocked.

"My God, it's repairing itself," Vanessa said. "Admiral, how did you know? There's just no way..."

"I've been around for a while," AdmH replied in an offhand tone. "Now, the question is, what is the one thing that their self-repairing ship can't repair?"

"Well, in theory, plasma injectors... but I've never seen a ship that actually repaired itself." Vanessa sounded unsure.

AdmH thought fast. "Right. That means he probably has his party on my ship already since he doesn't need many people to guard his. I want full teams of heavily armed security guards around engineering, now!"

"I'm on it." Adam stood up. "Adam to security..." he said as he left for engineering.

AdmH's tone changed. Her voice was ominous. "I know Soze, and I know his tactics. No doubt he'll be coming here to taunt me very soon." She stood, walked to an apparently solid wall, and opened a hidden door. Inside were a personalized compression phaser rifle, a hand phaser, and a Romulan dagger. AdmH placed the dagger in her boot top and the phaser in a holster on her hip. After removing the CPR, she closed the door, which blended seamlessly with the bridge wall. She then turned to look at Kaitz. "Kaitz, take everyone to some very remote place on the ship and reroute all bridge control there. Don't tell me where it is or even give me a clue. Just leave and do it now." She briefly tapped a console. "I have given you the ability to be able to do so from anywhere."

Kaitz looked worried. "Admiral, we can't just leave you here alone to face off one on one with Soze. You won't make it."

"You forget many things, my dear," the Admiral replied.

"I can't imagine what."

"One: I am Borg. I will prevail." The simple statement gave everyone on the bridge the creeps. "Two: I'm the most heavily trained weapons specialist in Starfleet. Three: I fight dirty. And, four: I outrank you, so do it!"

Kaitz backed down. "Yes, ma'am."

"Do not relocate the bridge to anywhere on the exposed deck or the engineering deck.

Now, all of you are dismissed."

"Admiral..." Kaitz hesitated. "In case I don't see you again... it was an honor to serve with you."

AdmH nodded. "Now, go before he gets here. At the first sign he may take over, activate the self-destruct."

"Yes, ma'am." Kaitz and the rest of the bridge crew started to crawl into the Jefferies tubes, obviously unwilling to leave their leader but incapable of defying orders.

AdmH sat down comfortably in her chair, with her CPR laid across her lap, and waited for Keyser Soze.

---

NAHTMMM looked like he was about to cry. "Our own captain...so brave!"

"Control yourself, old friend," PG said firmly. "If I know AdmH, and I think I do, she won't lose."

"Quit talking so loudly," Kaitz whispered. "You never know who's listening."

NAH and PG looked at each other. "Yes, ma'am," they whispered back as softly as they could.

"So, where are we going?" Vanessa, too, whispered to avoid a glare from Kaitz.

"I'm thinking," Kaitz replied. "Nowhere on the engineering deck, that's too easy to figure out...what did the Admiral mean by 'exposed deck'?"

Jim and BASICman looked at each other, confused.

"The deck Keyser and company broke into," Anna clarified. "What about sickbay?"

"Maybe, it wouldn't hurt..." Kaitz considered this. "Fine, all hands, head for sickbay!"

PG seized the opportunity. "Kaitz, be quiet! You're too loud!"

Kaitz just rolled her eyes.

As they continued their trek through the Jeffries tubes, NAH thought of something. "Kaitz, requesting permission to set my commandos loose to help keep this ship secure."

"Granted."

NAH called up his "commandos" to give them instructions. "...And secure the vital parts of the ship. That includes the bridge camma splut, the transporters camma hey, the sickbay camma nil, and the cargo bay camma hey. It does not include the galley…understand? Oh, and if someone can stop by the yelzer and pick up a few wabblers in case we get back together, it would be appreciated. Take up a third-omega priority stance once you are at your positions."

The sound of a tribble squeaking came over the comm.

"Good. Over and out." NAH closed the commlink.

PG, along with everyone else, looked confused. "What was all that nonsense about gamma rays and warblers?"

"That 'nonsense' is an extremely archaic Human-Tribble trade language which my pals and I have spent several years on, creating and modifying it for exclusive use in situations such as this. They know what to do," NAH replied loftily.

"Whatever. Let's get going," Kaitz said softly.

NAH just muttered good-naturedly under his breath about being surprised that anyone could be so blasé about wabblers being in the possession of tribbles on sugar highs as he followed.

---

Boltini never saw the butt end of the phaser rifle swinging toward his head until it was too late.

His skull exploded with pain as he fell to the deck. Glancing up, he saw his commandos being disarmed by Adam's security team.

"Ready for Round Two, freak-show boy?" GK snarled as Boltini stared down the barrel of his phaser rifle.

"You won't shoot me," Boltini said calmly. "You want to beat me up for almost killing you; shooting me would be too easy."

GK pulled the trigger and pumped five shots into him. Boltini slumped to the floor, stunned.

"There's no such thing as too easy." GK said.

"Keyser's not here," Adam observed. "He must have broken off from the main assault group."

GK frowned. "That's strange. These guys were clearly headed for Engineering; what could be more important to the Keyser than securing Engineering and getting those plasma injectors?"

Both he and Adam recognized the answer at the same time. "The Admiral!" they both said.

Adam held up a restraining hand. "Wait. If I know the Admiral, she'll have ordered everyone off the bridge so she can confront the Keyser alone." he tapped his combadge. "Adam to Kaitz."

"Kaitz here."

"Kaitz, are you on the bridge?"

"No. AdmH ordered everyone off the bridge. She thinks the Keyser may be on his way up there and she wants to fight him alone."

"Thanks, Adam out."

"That does it," GK said. "I know where I'm going."

"You heard Kaitz," Adam said. "The Admiral said she wants to take Keyser alone."

"I don't care what she said, I'm not gonna let her get herself killed."

"She's the Captain. It's her right-"

"It's my right not to have the possible death of a friend on my conscience. Besides, I'm not Starfleet. I follow the orders I want to follow. Look, if I insisted on fighting with the most dangerous criminal in the galaxy by myself with no backup, would you let me?"

Adam hesitated. "It's really not the same thing. They have a history…"

"Are you coming or not?"

"Ensign," Adam said to the lead security guard, "Put Boltini into a life pod, melt the hatch shut, blast it clear of the ship, and rig it to jettison its engines when it's clear of the ship so it can't go anywhere."

"Aye, sir." The security guards picked up Boltini's limp form and started carrying him to the nearest life pod.

"I'm going to find Kaitz and the others." Adam said. "They'll be rerouting command functions to an easily defensible position, probably sickbay. Good luck, GK."

GK and Adam went their separate ways as a lone life pod shot clear of the Vanguard, and then jettisoned its engines.

---

Boltini slowly slipped back into consciousness. Being genetically modified had its advantages, resistance to stunning being one of them. One shot from a stun, no problem, two shots didn't slow him down. Five shots, on the other hand, would knock him out for a few minutes.

He sat up and keyed on the viewer and saw himself drifting aimlessly.

"I'll kill him," Boltini snarled. He pulled out a hidden PADD and called to the Terminator.

"What is the status of the repairs?"

"They're coming along quickly, sir," a NES reported.

"Transporters?"

"They are now back online. We'll have weapons in twenty minutes. Should I lock on to the plasma injectors?"

"Negative. Don't make presumptions, and remind me to kill you when I get back. Lock on to my signal and beam me aboard the Vanguard. Put me somewhere close to the bridge. I have a score to settle."

Boltini transported away and materialized on deck 3.

"Computer, locate GeorgeKirk."

"GeorgeKirk is in Jefferies Tube 7 on Deck 4."

"Where does the Jefferies tube come out on this deck?"

Lights appeared in the panels on the wall, leading Boltini to the junction. He ran and ripped the door open, looked inside and saw GK's foot going up and talking to someone on his combadge. He reached in with his hook, stabbed it into GK's foot and ripped him out on to the deck.

"How the hell did you get here?" GK shouted.

Boltini punched GK in the face.

GK climbed to his feet, trying to keep his weight off the one with a hole in it.

"Now...you...die..." Boltini snarled.

GeorgeKirk tried to wrestle Boltini to the ground, but his wounded foot slipped and Boltini grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up to glare at him maniacally.

"Before I kill you, I want to know one thing: What do you think of my maniacal glare?"

"Very convincing, I'm sure," GeorgeKirk managed, trying to figure out which pressure point to attack next, "but maniacal glares went out of style two years ago."

"Indeed? Then I'd say they're about due for a comeback. Unlike you." Boltini raised his hook to strike at GK.

"I wouldn't do that just now if I were you," GK commented.

"Oh? Why not?" Boltini snarled.

"You have more pressing matters at hand," GK deadpanned.

"The Admiral can wait. You come firs--ah!" Boltini said as his back and legs suddenly gained weight, causing him to lose balance and topple over. All the tribbles who had been merrily treating him as yet another obstacle to be climbed scurried free of the immediate area, as did GK.

( Oops ) said several of their leaders. ( Come on, we're supposed to get to the bridge! )

Boltini, who had not been hurt beyond a bruise or two, began to get up, only to be flattened by a second party hot on the heels of the first.

( Get back here! ) the second party chirped. ( You aren't supposed to be guarding the bridge! )

The first group stopped, confused. ( Weren't we supposed to not guard the transporters? )

( No, fools, the bridge was supposed to be left alone ) responded a commander who happened to be sitting on Boltini's nose at the moment.

"Uh, guys...?" GK ventured.

( But that makes no fuzzin' sense ) somebody in the first group protested.

( That's what NAH told us to do, though ) came the answer.

The tribbles began scurrying back the way they had come, incidentally managing to trample Boltini again without quite noticing him.

"Hey! I'm pretty sure this is the leader of the boarding party," GeorgeKirk said. The tribbles stopped en masse and "looked" at him. GK suddenly felt uncomfortable. "You know, the guy leading the group sent to take our cargo for Keyser Soze? I could take him by myself, except I'm injured." He pointed at his foot. "Could you help me escort him to detention?"

A dozen tribbles immediately pounced on Boltini and relieved him of his weapons. The rest began arguing among themselves. They agreed that they recognized GK as a good guy and Boltini as a bad guy, but there was a boarding party or two still to be repelled and places to be guarded and orders were orders. Finally, they agreed to GK's suggestion that they could debate the question while taking the prisoner to be guarded, since they would be headed the same direction in either event. GK couldn't understand their language, but he knew agreement when he saw it.

---

EWDEE was sitting quietly in sickbay when she heard the telltale sound of a Jeffries tube opening. Soundlessly, she grabbed a phaser and moved to investigate.

Kaitz poked her head out of the Jeffries tube. "Everything's clear. Everyone out!"

EWDEE lowered her phaser as she heard Kaitz' voice. "Welcome to sickbay. What brings you here?"

"We're setting up a command center. Vanessa, you know what to do."

"Yes, ma'am," Vanessa replied as she diverted the bridge controls to sickbay.

"Now what?" NAH asked.

"I don't know, but as the Admiral said, there could be a chance that we'll have to initiate the self-destruct sequence," Kaitz replied.

Jim looked grim. "I hope it doesn't come to that. I've grown accustomed to this ship."

"We all have." Kaitz grinned as she pulled up a memory. "From the first time I laid eyes on this ship I thought to myself, 'this is going to be fun.'"

"I don't think we should just stay here and do nothing," TJ said.

PG sounded frustrated as he said, "He's right. There must be something we can do!"

"Like what? Most of the systems on board are down. The only things that are not down are internal sensors, communications, and life support. We don't even have maneuvering thrusters!" BASICman was the voice of reason.

"He's right," Jim said. "And with the engineering deck cleared, we can't fix any of it."

Anna sighed. "I say we sit back and--"

A clunking noise got their attention. "Someone's trying to get in!" EWDEE said, her voice slightly panicky.

"Set phasers to stun!" Kaitz ordered. "Aim at the door, and fire on my command!"

The doors opened, revealing Adam. "Looks like I guessed right."

"How are you doing? How's the situation?" Kaitz asked Adam.

"Well, Boltini is gone. We jettisoned him off in a life pod. GK is heading up to the bridge to help AdmH."

"That GK..."

Vanessa hurriedly changed the subject. "Good to see you, Adam." She looked at Kaitz. "We have a problem. According to internal sensors, someone just beamed aboard on deck three."

"Who could it be?"

Adam looked horrified. "I have a hunch. If the Terminator could repair itself, no doubt they've fixed their transporters." He tapped his combadge. "Adam to GeorgeKirk. GK, are you there?"

"I'm fine, but--" Everyone in sickbay heard GK's scream and a thud before the comm. link went dead.

"GK? GK?!" Adam let loose an alien expletive. "You guys stay put, I'll be back...maybe."

He left before anyone could protest.

Kaitz made a decision then and there. "We're going to do something. Vanessa, check our systems. Is there any system that's not fried that's part of the weapons systems?"

"I'm on it," Vanessa said, determined. Jim and Basic offered to help.

"Okay, the rest of you stay put. We may have to do something yet."

Everyone looked at each other and grinned.

---

The Keyser was in a cheery mood. Through his subcutaneous transponder he had heard the plight of Boltini3000, but was unconcerned - Mr. Boltini could take care of himself. It seemed that the teleport device on the Terminator was now fully functional, so The Keyser had taken the opportunity to order one of the nameless ensign slaves (who were due a big bonus if they survived) to simply beam the plasma injectors from the Vanguard.

Everything was going his way. All he needed to do was to find the pesky AdmHawthorne, taunt her for a bit, find out where his cargo is, then escape. Easy.

Easy peasy. Easy cheesy peasy.

The Keyser strolled through the detention area on deck two, firing his neutron blaster at the control panels, laughing as the detention center controls died. "Now, time to meet the illustrious Admiral," chuckled The Keyser.

---

Admiral Hawthorne sat casually in her chair keeping a keen eye on the mayhem that Soze was leaving in his wake. There was no doubt that she was right as to where he was headed. His path leads straight to her.

She stood and paced the bridge in front of the command chairs reflecting on her situation. Things looked rather grim. Her plasma packs had been beamed off the ship; her crewmembers were dying left and right at the hands of Soze's people. She knew that GeorgeKirk would follow through with taking care of boltini3000, but she was left to handle the Keyser herself. All of her training was now springing to mind. All the tactical and weapons training from Section 31, all her experience dealing with the Cardassians, all her Borg knowledge from her semi-assimilation rushed through her mind. Then, it hit her. If it were a snake, it would have bitten her.

Hurriedly, she set up her trap. It was complicated but, hopefully, it would work. As she finished out the last of her commands to the bridge computer systems and adjustments to her Borg implants, the door to the turbolift opened and Keyser Soze walked onto the bridge with a rather menacing looking compression phaser rifle in his hand. There was no doubt it was stolen from Starfleet.

Admiral Hawthorne turned and met Keyser Soze's gaze with one of complete expressionlessness. "Keyser Soze, welcome to the Vanguard."

"Ad-mee-ral Hawthorne, so good to meet again." Keyser had a look of smug superiority about him.

"If you're going to pronounce 'admiral' that way, just call me Hawthorne," AdmH said lightly.

"Well, if you insist..."

"Indeed, I do."

In a flash, Keyser fired his rifle at Admiral Hawthorne, but they bounced off what appears to be a personal force field.

"I'll kill you with my bare hands!" Keyser Soze jumped the console and command chairs to face off with the Admiral. He punched her in the gut, sending her hurtling to the ground. "Now...you die." Quickly, Soze reached for the Romulan dagger in the Admiral's boot top and plunged it deep into her chest.

AdmH let out a cry of pain. "Aargh!"

Keyser smirked. "That was almost too easy, Admiral."

AdmH smiled slightly. "You're right, it was." Much to the surprise of Soze, Hawthorne rose with the dagger sticking from her chest. Before he could react, she pulled an unseen Klingon dagger from her other boot top and stabbed it deeply into his chest.

Keyser gasped in surprise. "That won't keep me down, Ad-mee-ral."

"No, I wouldn't think it would. Computer, MARK!"

The Keyser was beamed to a holding cell in the brig with a level 10 forcefield surrounding it. His weapons were gone and all access panels disabled or welded shut. Hawthorne materialized moments later.

Keyser's eyes widened. "That's impossible! Your transporters are offline!"

Admiral Hawthorne had the air of one who unshakably has the upper hand. "Yes, my ship's transporters are offline, but my Borg personal transportation system is not. I had the computer use me."

"The Borg don't have personal transporters."

"They don't in this century, but then again, I wasn't assimilated in this century."

"You were assimilated at Wolf 359."

"You know much about me, Keyser."

"Know your enemy more than your friend."

"Much more happened there than you know."

"Section 31..."

"Well, that's all we'll talk about with that." The Admiral's tone was final. "The rest is highly classified, I'm afraid."

"You can't hold me here for long," Keyser snapped. "Boltini will get me out of here."

"Perhaps, but I have you here for now." AdmH tapped her combadge. "Hawthorne to security."

The voice of a security guard came over the comm. "Go ahead, Captain."

"I'm in the brig and I have a prisoner that needs level ten security on them."

"Level ten, ma'am?"

"Yes, you heard that correctly. I want at least ten men in here at all times watching him."

"We'll be down there as soon as possible, ma'am."

"Good. I'll be here until you get here. Hawthorne out." Admiral Hawthorne pulled up a chair and sat in front of the holding cell with her modified compression phaser rifle aimed at her prisoners, and the dagger still sticking from her chest. "So, how's life, Keyser?"

"They'll catch you by surprise." Keyser diverted the topic.

"No, they won't. This place is full of little surprises of my own. Infrared sensors, self-generated shooting devices, and nerve gas if all else fail."

"Your 'surprises' will hurt you too."

"No, they won't."

"Section 31?"

The Admiral's voice was casual. "You might be interested to know that the CPR I'm holding can shoot through this forcefield. It's a special modification. If you try anything, I won't hesitate to use it on you."

"You'll die before they get here. That dagger I placed in you is no doubt going to kill you soon."

"It may, but as long as it's in me and I'm not trying to pull it out, I'll be fine. The loss of blood is small as long as it's still lodged in there. I'll survive yet."

"Can anything else go wrong this day?"

AdmH smiled. "Yes, I've sent a photon torpedo over to your ship via my transporter system. It should go off...now." An explosion rocked the ship.

Keyser sneered again. "There go your plasma injectors! My ship will regenerate itself!"

"Yes, it will, but not before we have time to repair and escape. You don't really think I destroyed half your ship without getting my packs back, do you?"

"So, what now?"

"We wait. How's life, Keyser?

---

Boltini rolled along on a bed of tribbles.

"This is ridiculous," he said and stood up. The tribbles started launching themselves at him and he started swatting them with his hook. The tribbles kept coming until he caught one in his hand and bit it in half.

The tribbles all stopped, squeaked amongst themselves, and then scurried off down the hall. Boltini pulled out his communicator.

"Boltini to Keyser."

"Yes, Boltini?"

"You need to watch out, sir. GK is on his way to the bridge."

"I've already been to the bridge. Now I am in the brig. And that explosion you just felt was our ship."

"But how...?"

Just then, AdmH stepped in. "Hello, Boltini. It's only a matter of time before we catch you too."

Boltini ignored AdmH. "Sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Boltini?" Keyser replied.

"Now?"

"Yes, Mr. Boltini."

Another explosion rocked the Vanguard.

"What was that, Keyser?" AdmH inquired, apparently unconcerned.

"That was all our EV equipment," Boltini said. "You did realize that everything we have can be detonated with the press of a button, didn't you?"

Everyone on the ship heard the computer's voice. "Warning, hull breach on decks nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen. Emergency force fields are not responding. Complete decompression of exposed decks in twenty seconds."

"You see, Ad-mee-ral," Boltini mocked, "I'm not afraid to die. Are you?"

"I'm not ready to die, Boltini!" Keyser protested.

"Having a little trouble with your man, Keyser?" AdmH maintained her casual tone.

"No, he's just in one of his moods again. He gets like this." Keyser's tone suddenly became accusing. "He's insane, you know. He was imprisoned in a Romulan camp after being abandoned by Section 31..."

"I know." The Admiral's voice was low.

"Really? Did you hear that, Boltini?"

"I heard."

Keyser turned back to AdmH. "What could this mean, Annie? Could the glorious Starfleet have left one of their agents behind? Purposefully, perhaps?"

"It wasn't like that, Keyser. We're not like you."

"No? I think you are, Annie. I think you're more like me than you want to admit. What was the secret, Ann? Was he a loose cannon, an agent that wouldn't play by the rules? Section 31 people have never been very trustworthy to begin with."

"I was following orders, Keyser."

"Ho, ho! So you even directly involved! I do hope you're getting this, Boltini... Boltini?... BOLTINI?!"

Boltini's communicator lay on the deck. As for Boltini, he made his way to the brig, decapitating anyone in his path.

---

"Thank God for tribbles! I love you all!" GK grabbed a nearby tribble and kissed it.

Adam came into view around the corner and took in the sight. "Are you all right?"

"Just fine...well, except there's a hole in my foot..." GK said with false happiness.

"I'm guessing you can't walk?"

"I might..."

"Tell you what, take this--" Adam handed GK his rifle. "--And get to sickbay."

"Are you insane?! I'm not leaving you to battle it out with the Keyser with no weapons!"

Adam grinned. "How did you know I'm going to the bridge?"

"I just know."

Adam's tone became matter-of-fact. "Well, I am, and you're not. Get to sickbay. Most of the senior staff is there. They'll treat your wounds."

"Oh no. I'm going to the bridge to help."

"No offense, but a soldier who can't walk is useless. Get to sickbay. That's not an order, it's friendly advice."

GK sighed. "I see you remembered that I'm a civilian. Fine, I'll follow that...order."

"Good luck."

"Same to you."

GK, using the rifle for support, hobbled to sickbay while Adam headed to the bridge.

---

Adam looked around the bridge. "Where is she? Computer, locate Admiral Hawthorne."

"Admiral Hawthorne is on deck 6, brig 3."

Adam's eyes widened, and he grabbed a nearby dropped phaser. "I'm coming," he muttered.

---

Kaitz paced around the room. "Anything?"

"Hold on... well, we have something," Vanessa reported.

"What do you mean?"

"We're able to fire photon torpedoes."

"That's wonderful, target the--"

"It's not that simple," BASICman interrupted. "Most of the torpedoes' circuits are fried. From what we can gather, only four can be currently used."

"Another problem is that the automatic launcher is out. Someone needs to go down there to target and fire it manually," Jim cut in.

An explosion rocked the ship.

Kaitz coughed. "Report!"

The computer's voice suddenly came on. "Warning, hull breach on decks nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Emergency force fields are not responding. Complete decompression of exposed decks in twenty seconds."

"This could only be Keyser's work!" Basic stated the obvious.

"Gee, how'd you guess?" NAH replied sarcastically.

"Now, here's the question," Kaitz said as the smoke cleared and the lights flickered back on. "Do we start the autodestruct system?"

TJ looked shocked at this proposition. "What?! Why?"

"There's no doubt that this was Keyser's work. Who knows, he might be controlling the ship!"

Anna spoke up. "We can't jump to conclusions. We need to stay put and see what happens. Besides, if activated, the self-destruct could be imminent, right?"

"Yeah..." Kaitz sounded unsure. Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. "Everyone, phasers!"

The door opened, and GK stepped through. "Hey guys…what's up?"

---

Ten heavily armored security guards entered the brig. "Admiral?" the first one asked, awaiting orders.

"Watch him. Don't let him out of your sight. Shoot to kill." Admiral Hawthorne could still summon a dignified command posture, even with the dagger sticking from her chest.

The security guard nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Ah...the hull breach?"

The computer backed up the security guard's words with an ominous "Complete Decompression of exposed decks in ten...nine..."

AdmH spoke quickly as she commanded, "Computer, reroute all power except life support to force fields and project a level ten force field around the hull breaches."

"Acknowledged." There was a moment of silence as everyone waited to see if their lives would end. "The hull breach has been secured."

AdmH tapped her combadge. "Hawthorne to emergency repair teams. Get on that breach."

"Understood, captain." The comm. link was broken.

"Keyser, that dagger in your chest looks nasty." AdmH noted with some amusement that Keyser looked down worriedly at the dagger hilt. "If you pull it out, you'll find that it was only a child's toy with a system installed to give you a bit of a shock."

Keyser Soze pulled the 'dagger' out of his chest only to find that the blade was spring loaded and the top of the handle had been coated with glue to make it stick to his chest.

"Crafty, Admiral, I'll give you that. However, the dagger in your chest is real."

"Yes, it is, and I need to get it out soon. If I don't have it out within the hour, there's a good chance it'll kill me, but it's a risk I must take to save my ship, my crew, and the Federation from you." AdmH paused for a moment to think. "Boltini heard it all. He's psychotic, and it's all my fault. I didn't ask to do that. I really had no hand in leaving him there. I had to follow orders. Starfleet Command told me not to go back for him. I would have gone back. I wanted to go back, but the risk was too great. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few."

"Admiral, what are your plans?" the security guard asked.

"I have to go after him. I have to stop him. Computer, where is Boltini3000?"

"Boltini3000 is in Turbolift one en route to the brig."

The security guard looked confused. "How does the ship know that?"

"Years ago I had his DNA recognized by the computer in case he ever came aboard. I'm going after him. Stay here and keep your guard up. Don't let them move a single hair. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Admiral Hawthorne groaned in pain as she stood to leave the brig. The dagger in her chest was beginning to give her problems. As she left the brig en route to turbolift one, she tried to think of what it would take to get Boltini out of his murderous rampage and into a talkative mood. Maybe, if she could just talk with him, she could get him to understand why she had to do it. Maybe she could calm him. Maybe she could keep him from destroying himself, the ship, and her crew.

---

Anna expertly finished fixing the hole in GK's foot.

"Try to stay in one piece this time, okay?" she said.

"I make no guarantees," GK said as he pulled on a new boot.

Mcmac looked up from an internal security display. "Says here that Boltini's in a turbolift headed for the brig," he said. "What should we do, Kaitz?"

"I'm going after him," GK said as he started arming himself.

"Not by yourself, you're not," Kaitz objected.

"I second that," Anna said. "I'm tired of patching you up."

"PG, I could use some backup. You busy?" GK asked.

PG checked the charge on his phaser rifle. "Thought you'd never ask."

"Mcmac," GK said, "can you reroute that turbolift?"

Mcmac pecked at his controls. "I think so. Where do you want it to go?"

"Cargo bay," PG said. "I've got an idea."

---

Boltini shifted uncomfortably in the turbolift, something was wrong, he could feel it. His concerns were allayed when the Keyser's voice filtered through the lift's intercom plate. "Boltini, I have control of the ship. I'm rerouting your turbolift to the cargo deck so you can collect our cargo before we return to the Terminator."

"Understood, my Lord."

The cargo bay doors parted. The bay was dark except for the pulsing red alert lights. Boltini noticed a familiar cargo container sitting on the transporter pad.

Gleefully he scampered up to the pad and threw open the container. A red flag bearing the word "BANG" popped out.

"Now!" GK shouted.

PG energized GK's ship's transporter. Boltini and the cargo container dissolved into a sparkling mist and vanished.

"Redirecting matter stream out into space," PG said as he manipulated the controls, "deactivating annular confinement beam. That's it. His molecules are spread all across the sector."

"I'm sure the Keyser has another clone ready to go at that secret base of his," GK said.

---

Admiral Hawthorne walked with much determination to the turbolift half expecting for Boltini to already be in the corridor waiting for her. She winced as she leaned against a nearby bulkhead waiting for the lift's doors to open and bring forth her biggest mistake... the real reason she'd asked to leave Section 31 once and for all.

After a moment, she realized something was amiss. "Computer, locate Boltini3000."

The computer's precise voice replied. "Boltini3000 is not aboard this ship."

"Where the hell is he?"

"Please restate the question."

Admiral Hawthorne sighed and grabbed at the dagger in her chest using all her self-control not to pull it out. "Where was he last? What happened to him?"

"Boltini3000 was beamed to an undetermined portion of space from cargo bay 2."

Admiral Hawthorne leaned against her CPR using it as a crutch to prevent herself from falling to the ground. She knew she'd never get back up if she fell. She ran her hand around the wound trying to determine how far the blood seeping from it and soaking her uniform had spread. Much to her dismay, she could not feel a dry spot. She staggered slightly and ran her hand over her face leaving streaks of blood here and there around her now very dirty and soiled appearance.

She sighed again, and began to think out loud. "My crew must have found a way to take care of Boltini3000. I hope they didn't kill him; I know GeorgeKirk had a score to settle, but we never managed to make a clone of him during his Section 31 days, and I doubt Soze was smart enough. Although, I could be wrong..."

With much effort, Admiral Hawthorne stumbled to the turbolift. "Sickbay."

As the lift doors opened, Admiral Hawthorne could feel her body weakening. She staggered to the sickbay doors. She entered to a scene of her senior staff and GeorgeKirk standing around a console talking about what appeared to be something very positive; she was happy to see them smiling and laughing.

With much determination and dignity, she walked into sickbay still using her CPR as a crutch. They all fell silent as they saw her stand there. Their faces were etched with mixtures of horror, disbelief, and fear. She raised her hand to hold them from moving or saying anything. The air was still as they all held their breath to see what she would do or say.

Breathlessly, and with difficulty, she spoke. "Crew ... good job. I'm so very proud of you. Adam... you have command until further notice."

She collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Adam, who just returned from the brig, bent down and quickly carried AdmH to the nearest biobed.

---

Deep in the bowels of the Terminator there was a secure chamber. The chamber acted as a lifeboat if needed. It had its own navigational controls, life support, power sources in case the Terminator was ever destroyed. There were two tall tubes in the chamber. A console standing by each of the tubes continually monitored a constant data stream coming from two separate sources. If a data stream stopped, all information leading up to that point would be transferred and the corresponding tube would be activated. One of the data streams stopped. One of the tubes was activated.

---

"Weapon systems are coming back online," a NES reported.

"Transporters are back online," a different NES said.

A third NES spoke up. "Main engines are still offline, we have thrusters only."

The first NES spoke again. "Sensors are coming back online. Begin scanning Vanguard for signs of Boltini and Keyser."

The bridge door opens and a menacing figure steps on to the bridge. "Boltini is dead. Or was dead."

The eyes of the NESes on the bridge widened in fear, one managed to sputter, "Good to have you back, sir. Again. I think."

Boltini glared at the NES, who ducked behind his console. "Report!"

Another NES replied. "All main systems are coming back online again. We still have no engines though…"

"The Vanguard?"

"A few minutes ago all power was redirected from every system except life support to patch up that massive hull breach you made."

"No shields or weapons?"

"Nothing, sir."

Boltini considered this. "The Keyser?"

"He is being held in the brig."

"Can we beam him over?"

"We need to knock out all their power first so the force fields fail."

The menacing-looking Nemesis paced the bridge. "Maneuver us as close to the Vanguard as possible, then prepare to fire all weapons."

The Terminator edged forward slowly, coming within a few meters of the Vanguard.

"Open fire!"

---

EWDEE examined AdmH on a biobed. The crew huddled around nervously.

"She's stable. She's lost a lot of blood, but I think she's going to be okay," EWDEE said quietly.

Suddenly, the Vanguard rocked with a barrage of weapons fire. Pounding explosions tossed the ship, and the crew flew in every direction. Kaitz struggled to keep the Admiral on the bed.

---

Boltini was pleased that his plan was going well. "Can we get the Keyser?"

"Yes, sir." The NES Boltini had frightened had recovered enough to take his post again.

"Excellent. Scan for the Admiral."

The NES looked confused. "Sir?"

"DO IT!"

It took all of the NES' courage to keep from screaming in terror and running. "She- she is in sickbay, sir."

"Beam her into our sickbay, and erect the highest level force field we have. Tell the doctor to keep her sedated."

"Energizing now, sir."

---

EWDEE helped Kaitz in her struggle to keep AdmH on the biobed. The ship rocked again, and Kaitz stumbled and fell to the floor. Before she could get back up, the Terminator's transporters snatched AdmH from the biobed, and took EWDEE with her...

"NO!" Kaitz shouted as Hawthorne's body vanished in a red sparkle of transporter energy.

---

Keyser energizes on the bridge. "Good work, Boltini."

"Thank you sir. You, there," Boltini replied, pointing at the NES in charge of weapons with his hook, "Target their port nacelle. Open fire, all weapons."

The nacelle explodes, spewing plasma all over space.

"Set a course away from here. Best possible speed," Keyser commanded.

Boltini turned to leave the bridge. "I'll be in sickbay."

"I'll come with you," Keyser replied.

---

The abrupt change of scenery startled EWDEE. "What the...oh crap."

The doctor in the room looked surprised by the appearance of two people instead of one, but the forcefield snapped into place anyway. Right on cue, Keyser and Boltini made a somewhat dramatic entrance.

Keyser narrowed his eyes as he noticed EWDEE. "What are you doing here?

"Snatched by your transporter, same as the Admiral." EWDEE paused. "Who, by the way, will die without competent medical help."

"Our doctor will treat her," Keyser shrugged.

EWDEE thought fast. "The Admiral has a rare condition called Cirran's Syndrome." She had to make up the name for the fictitious condition in a hurry. "It affects her body's reactions to medical treatments. Improperly applied treatments will kill her, and I know you wouldn't have gone through the trouble to get her here just to have her die in your sickbay!"

Boltini whispered -- well, tried to whisper -- to Keyser. "She has us there."

Keyser gave Boltini a withering look.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Boltini directed this loud proclamation in the direction of EWDEE.

EWDEE turned around, and seemed to notice Boltini for the first time. Getting her shock under control, she replied in a low voice. "You know me, Boltini. You know I don't like to lie. The Admiral's life is at stake. I have to treat her."

Keyser appeared to consider EWDEE's words for a moment. "Fine. But don't try anything."

EWDEE now turned to AdmH, she had no idea how to use the equipment on the Terminator, but she knew she had to try. She grabbed a nearby hypospray and quickly filled it with an antibiotic and injected it into AdmH. To her amazement, the wound began to heal; within minutes it was nothing more than a small scar.

She looked at the hypospray. "There must have been something in there…"

---

The Keyser chuckled - today was a good day! The disappointment at not getting the schematics for the Breen energy dampener was more than allayed by the news of the injectors' successful replacement. And AdmH had been well and truly taunted!

"Now," said the Keyser. "Time to go after the cargo. What did you glean from using your mental transference device?"

"Well" said Boltini. "I scanned GeorgeKirk just before he killed me - bastard. Anyway, the cargo was transferred to his ship. It seems the Vanguard crew wished to deal with us first, before transferring the cargo. Such a waste of life on that Andorian cargo ship..."

"Mr. Boltini!" thundered The Keyser. "What's wrong with you man - you're crying like a girl!"

"Sorry sir," whimpered Boltini. I think the chemicals in this new body are a bit out of sync. Hang on!" Boltini swallowed a few pills. "WRUAGGGGHHH!!!!! That feels better. What can I kill?"

"NES," whispered The Keyser.

"Oh yes," replied Boltini. "Come here you."

"Yes sir," replied the NES, shortly before he said "AAARRRGGGGHHH" and dropped to the floor.

"Feeling better now?" asked The Keyser.

"YES SIR!!!" shouted a newly invigorated Boltini.

"Do you know where this ship is?"

"Yes sir. The ship is in Vanguard's shuttle bay."

The Keyser sighed. "Turn us around, again, Mr. Boltini."

"AYE AYE SIR!!!"

---

Adam coughed. "Is everyone all right?"

"No," Kaitz called, managing to get up. "The Admiral is gone, and so is EWDEE!"

Adam contemplated this for a second. "Any idea where they are?"

"No"

Vanessa swore. "Sorry, Commander, but..."

"What now?" NAH demanded.

"The port nacelle has been destroyed," Jim reported.

"Destroyed?"

"To be more precise, damaged beyond repair."

"Dammit all to hell!" Screamed Adam.

"Don't worry," Kaitz' voice was determined. "With time, we'll have impulse engines. Vanessa, Basic, Jim: Take anyone you want, and begin repairs on the impulse engines."

Vanessa, Basic, and Jim replied with a borrowed-enthusiasm "Yes, ma'am!" and left sickbay.

"So, what can impulse do now?" NAH asked.

"Not much at the moment, but it'll help us get out of here." Kaitz thought for a moment. "Perhaps we can get back into the nebula so no one else will be able to take advantage of our damaged state."

"Good thinking," Adam approved. "Mcmac, send out a distress call."

"Well, all we can do now is wait..." Kaitz was interrupted by a beeping noise. "The sensors..." She went to check the sensor readouts. "Oh no, you're not going to like this..."

"What?"

"It's the Terminator. They'll be here within minutes!"

"GK! Get down to the shuttle bay and do what you can to keep them from beaming out the cargo!"

"Aye aye!" GK left sickbay.

"Now, let's get back to the bridge." Everyone but the medics followed Adam out of sickbay.

---

The Keyser sat on his throne, with a big grin on his face. "Range, Mr. Boltini?"

"20,000km and closing, sir," replied Boltini, equally happy. "10,000kms, or 2 minutes to firing range. They're almost completely crippled!"

"Any chance they could've got off a distress call?" asked The Keyser?

"Possibly," replied Boltini. "I'm jamming all frequencies now, but it looks like their subspace array is trashed. In fact, I'm sorry I never got to use those jam filled pies."

"Indeed," replied The Keyser. "A damn good joke gone to waste. Anyway, when we're in range, fire a 25 shot into their impulse engines. I don't want them hiding in that Nebula."

"Aye sir. Coming up on target... five... four... three... two... one.... their impulse drive is offline, permanently."

"Excellent shooting, Mr. Boltini!" exclaimed The Keyser. "Now, with no engines and no shields, they're ours for the taking! No mistakes this time, Mr. Boltini. We'll just beam the crew of the Vanguard into the brig, then take our time inspecting GeorgeKirk's ship and retrieve the cargo."

"Yes sir!" said an elated Boltini. "We've beaten them! We've whipped their asses! We've taken them to the cleaners! We've...."

"Not so fast," growled a voice. The Keyser and Boltini turned around. AdmHawthorne and EWDEE stood at the entrance of the control room.

"My dear Ad-mee-ral," said The Keyser. "You do realize that you are surrounded?"

"That may be so, my dear Keyser," growled AdmH. "But I can pull this trigger and vaporize you faster than you can say the word 'Ad-mee-ral' again!"

"Actually, I doubt that," said The Keyser. "Phasers don't work on this ship - an alien dampening field installed by the creators of this vessel ensure that. Go on, try it."

AdmH and EWDEE pulled the triggers on their phasers. Nothing happened.

"Now my dears, why don't you come and sit over here? I'll have a pot of freshly brewed coffee brought up. We need to talk - after all, why do you think we brought you here in the first place?"

"I don't understand you, Keyser," growled AdmH. "Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?"

"I have spared you and your crew, but sadly not your ship. I had to have some fun. Besides, we have a common enemy."

"WE have a common enemy?"

"Yes. Section 31."

"Bring me that coffee."

A few minutes later, Boltini spoke up. "The Vanguard has been disabled. We are beginning transport of the crew to the brig. Shall I begin the mind erasing process?"

"Huh? What?" Keyser looked at Boltini. "Oh, I don't think that will be necessary, Boltini."

"But sir, they are a fresh crop of NESes!"

"Do not argue with me, Boltini."

"Yes, sir."

Boltini sulked at the back of the bridge. He watched the back of the Admiral's head. He hated her. He hated her so much. It wouldn't take anything to kill her now. He could move up behind her before she knew it, shove his hook through the back of her head, slice open her throat, and gut her completely. But the Keyser wouldn't let him. He said they weren't through with her yet. The hate burned in his eyes.

"Boltini?" EWDEE whispered.

Boltini noticed EWDEE standing there for the first time. "Dying Ensign."

"It's been a long time, Boltini." When he didn't say anything, she continued. "How long, since back at the Academy? Remember the emus?"

A subtle grin crossed Boltini's face. "I remember the emus."

"What happened to you, old friend?"

The subtle grin was gone, replaced by rage. "What happened to me? What HAPPENED to me!" His outburst made Keyser and AdmH abandon their conversation and watch. "I'll tell you what HAPPENED to me! Your beloved Admiral there abandoned me. Yes, she did. I was working for Section 31. I was working in the Romulan Empire. She LEFT me there. They tortured me. Oh yes they did. I have many many scars to prove it. Or I did. That was two bodies ago."

EWDEE's face was a picture of hurt, of remembering the Boltini she knew at the Academy. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? SORRY? Have you ever been tortured by Romulans? They are very thorough. My mind was almost completely gone, Ensign. I was so hungry I attacked a guard one day and chewed his arm off. That was just the start though. I was so completely insane that I murdered every Romulan in that camp and ate them. I ATE THEM ALL!"

Everyone on the bridge was silent, especially the Admiral. They all watched Boltini slowly advancing on EWDEE who had small tears running down her cheeks.

"Please, Boltini..." she whispered.

"PLEASE WHAT? SPARE YOU? I OUGHT TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW. I COULD, YOU'D JUST COME BACK YOU STUPID LITTLE...."

"Boltini. Leave her alone." Admiral Hawthorne's voice interrupted Boltini's ranting.

"Go check on the prisoners, Boltini," Keyser ordered.

Boltini glared at the Admiral. One second to cross the bridge. One second to cut her open.

"Now, Boltini!"

Boltini walked to the turbolift.

"For what it is worth Boltini, I was only following orders," AdmH said to Boltini, who ignored her.

The turbolift doors slid shut, saving the Admiral's life.

---

"They're right on top of us!" Kaitz yelled.

"Weapons?!" Adam asked.

"As Vanessa or whoever said, we'd have to launch it manually from the torpedo room!!" PG answered.

"Get down there then!" Adam ordered.

"Yes sir!"

PG headed for the torpedo room.

"Mcmac, are there any ships that have encountered our distress call?" Adam asked.

"No," Mcmac answered sadly after a pause.

"They're within firing range...they're firing!" Kaitz called.

"All hands, brace for impact!!"

An explosion rocked the ship. The bridge was thrown forward, along with its crew. People toppled down steps, consoles exploded, chaos was everywhere.

"Well, that's it, we've lost impulse for good!" Vanessa called over the comm.

"Damn!" Adam shouted as he pounded his fist on the chair.

"Oh no..." Kaitz said as she checked her readout. She tapped her comm. badge and said, "PG, we're reading massive amounts of radiation in the torpedo room...PG!....PG!!"

PG coughed and collapsed as he tried to respond.

"Well?" Adam asked nervously.

"I'm not reading his life sign..."

Adam was stunned. "How dare they!!!.... That's it! I've had it!"

"What?" Kaitz said.

"You told me, when there was a sign that the Keyser is taking over.... we have to initiate the self destruct sequence," Adam said.

"Losing the Vanguard?" Kaitz asked, then thought silently for a moment. "Agreed, it needs to be done to save the cargo from Keyser."

"Computer, initiate self-destruct sequence, command code, 1a2b3," Adam said.

"Computer, self-destruct sequence confirmed, command code, 1aab4," followed Kaitz.

"Self-destruct sequence confirmed, final code?" came the cold voice of the computer.

"Computer, final code for self-destruct sequence, 0001Voyager, set it for 3 minutes. All hands, abandon ship! I repeat abandon ship! GK, get out of there!!" Adam said.

"What the hell are you doing?" GK asked over the comm.

"GK, we cannot let the Keyser have the cargo!" Adam answered. "Either you dump the cargo on this ship or we'll have to destroy your ship!"

"I'll dump the cargo here," GK answered quickly. "See you around!"

"Good luck!" Adam said.

GK's ship flew out of the cargo bay cloaked and quickly went into warp.

Adam looked around and saw that everyone is gone. "Goodbye old friend," he said. Adam walked off the bridge but was quickly beamed aboard the Terminator.

In the corridors of the Vanguard the computer was counting down.

"Warning, self destruction in 1 minute."

"Come on NAH, don't just stand there!" Kaitz shouted.

"No! I've got to get my commandoes!" NAH said as he headed away from Kaitz.

"There's no-" Kaitz was cut off as they were beamed aboard the Terminator.

Everyone was beamed aboard the Terminator except for a life form that did not read on its sensors.

In the torpedo room PG slowly regained consciousness.

"Uh....hello? PG to bridge, is anyone there?"

"Warning! Self destruct in 30 seconds!"

"What?!" PG yelled.

---

"Sir, I'm detecting the cargo on the Vanguard!"

"What?" Keyser said as he quickly shushed AdmH.

"The cargo is in the Vanguard's cargo bay!"

"Beam it over here!"

"We can't, there's a force field around it!"

"But we disabled their force fields!"

"This one apparently is from GK's ship."

"Damn it! Get a boarding party over to the Vanguard! Take the ship!"

"You'll never get my ship. It'll self-destruct before you get your vile hands on it," AdmH said defiantly to Keyser, breaking off their conversation.

"You Starfleeters (bah!) are so pathetic. I could be about to take over the galaxy, and you'd be telling me 'Hah! You'll never get my starship!' as if it mattered. And as a matter of fact, it won't self-destruct. Naive fools! You aren't the only ones experienced in microscopic matters," Keyser responded.

AdmH was confused.

"Or should I say, nanoscopic matters," Keyser said.

"What…you didn't," AdmH said.

"Oh yes I did. Boltini took a nice little package over when he first beamed to your garbage scow. Only had time to program them to disable the self-destruct, but no matter."

---

"Wonderful," Adam said as he paced the cell. "We're all stuck in these holding cells and no one's on the Vanguard. Can it get any worse?"

"Sure it could," NAH said. "The transporter chiefs here might be smart."

"What do you mean?"

NAH didn't say anything as, with a smirk, he pointed to the moving back wall of the vast prison cell.

Adam winced. "What is that?"

"What else?" NAH said, the smirk now turned into a wide grin. "I guess the transporter chiefs beamed my commandoes here as well."

"Tribbles?" Adam said with an irritated tone to his voice.

"Alright!" Kaitz yelled. "Do it NAH!"

"Attack!" NAH ordered.

"Wha?" the Tribbles asked. "Oh, the guards." The Tribbles bounced off of the force field, weakening it with every hit.

"Come on!!" Ordered NAH.

"We're on it! Jeez, patience!" Said the tribbles collectively as with one push, they broke through the force field. The guards didn't even see them coming as the tribbles pounced, pounded, and nibbled on them and one by one knocked them out. They then set about letting the others out of their cells.

---

"Gotta do something..." PG said to himself.

The computer continued to count down. "...2...1...0."

PG cringed, but nothing happened.

"Well, that's odd" PG said to himself as he quickly ran out of the torpedo room. "Alright then, computer, get rid of that blasted radiation in the torpedo room!"

---

"WAAAAHOOO!!" Screamed NAH as he rides a wave of Tribbles into the Terminator's

Engineering. The rest of the crew of the Vanguard soon entered, shooting at anything they could aim at.

"Hey! Look at this!" Mcmac said as he glanced at one of the LCARS imbedded in the wall.

"What is it?" Adam inquired.

"The Vanguard's still there!"

"That's odd, what could've happened?"

"Don't know, let me scan the ship…hold on."

Adam quickly turned around and shot a few NESes. "What do you have?"

"Got it! There seems to be some kind of virus in the Vanguard systems, could be nanoprobes from the Keyser…"

"Uh huh…" Adam said as he narrowly dodged a phaser beam.

"Hey! I'm detecting a life sign! It's PG! He's alive!"

"Really?"

"Definitely."

"Transport him over here!"

"Wait…hold on…he's activating one of the torpedoes!"

Adam thought for a second. "Can you deactivate the repair mechanisms of this ship from here?"

"I can try."

"And their shields, don't forget their shields…"

---

"Um...sir... the self-repair mechanism has gone down."

"WHAT?!? That's impossible! It's hard-wired into the ship! And the warranty doesn't expire until next week!"

"Oh crap!" a NES said with a frightened look.

"What now?!" Keyser demanded.

"Our repair systems...they're going backwards..."

Keyser killed the NES in a fit of rage. "You! Over there, explain!"

"I don't know...but I think someone is tapping into our systems." The second NES was even more frightened.

"Well, looks like you got yourselves into a jam here, Keyser," the Admiral remarked.

"Shut up."

"Our shields are going down!!" The NES working at the console panicked.

"Raise them!" Keyser ordered.

"I can't!"

Keyser's eyes went wild. "The override, where's the override?!"

A massive explosion shook the Terminator as a torpedo flew from the Vanguard and struck it in its weak spot.

"I've had enough of this!" Screamed Keyser. "Now, Admiral, you will see the power of this fully functional battle station. Mr. Boltini?"

"Targeting the Vanguard."

"No! Someone is still over--"

"Silence! I want my revenge!"

"Activating the Ultra Pie of Doom," Boltini reported.

"Fire!"

"Wait! The cargo is over there!" the Admiral shouted desperately.

Keyser looked horrified. "Hold your fire, Boltini!"

Boltini grinned devilishly as he said, "Too late."

The Ultra-Pie of Doom blasted forth from the Terminator. It flew through space for what seemed like an eternity before striking the Vanguard mid-saucer. An energy wave rocked the Terminator as the front of the Vanguard was completely blown away. The Vanguard drifted away, the lights on all decks slowly fading out.

AdmH stared in horror at her spinning, lifeless ship. "How could you?"

"Oops."

Admiral Hawthorne stood there staring at her lifeless ship thinking of the lives that had just been lost, or at least one person who fired that torpedo, and her ship in pieces trying to regain her self-control. Through gritted teeth and a stiff stance, she addressed Boltini. Her voice began as a strong, angry whisper.

"I tried to so hard, I really did. You cannot imagine what I have gone through in my lifetime. The death, the destruction, the assimilations... both of them." Her voice raised to a normal, yet still angry, level. "Life is not fair, Boltini. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the few for the whole. The quadrant, the galaxy does not revolve around either of us. If we die, if the unthinkable happens to us, everything still continues. Life goes on. But, you never have understood that. 'What she did to me', 'My revenge', 'I nearly died'; everything you've ever done has always been about you, never about the whole. Well let me tell you something, Boltini, then as now it has always been about the whole for me. Do you think it's easy for me to order any of my crew to their deaths? Hmmm, do you? Do you think I enjoyed having to leave a single member under my command for some heartless scum to do with as they please? Don't tell me I don't know. Don't tell me I can't understand. I've been there, or have you forgotten about my time on that Cardassian moon? Do you think it was easy for me to keep sanity while day after endless day I heard the cries of my captain and his crew as they tortured them with nothing I could do about it, and night after night he raped me over and over again just because I refused to stop fighting? Do you think that was easy? You don't care; it's all about you."

"Admiral..." EWDEE whispered.

"NO, that's enough." Admiral Hawthorne's voice rose yet again. "I've had it. I'm through with this boy not being able to cope with his problems. He thinks he's the only one out there who's had hell to live through. Well, he better think again. This ends here, and it ends now. Boltini, you were a good officer and a good friend, and I cannot help but feel pity and sorrow for what happened to you, but I won't allow you to use it as a crutch anymore."

Boltini quickly arose from his seat and pushed his hook deep into the Admiral's gut. "I'll see you in hell," he snarled.

"Not if you make it there before me." The Admiral's voice was low and dangerous.

Hawthorne pulled her hand up and two tubules arched from her hand to Boltini's neck. Boltini gasped as the nanoprobes entered his body, and he fell to the floor, his hook pulling out of the Admiral leaving a path of blood in its wake. Slowly, the Admiral's wound began to heal. Hawthorne acted quickly before the Keyser's NES could react and pulled a knife from the belt of one that stood nearby. She plunged it into a now very weakened Boltini's chest, dragging it down the length of his body. She didn't so much as blink as his blood splattered her already blood soaked and hole ridden uniform.

After the Admiral was finished, they all stood there in disbelief and silence; EWDEE turned away from the scene in shock. The Admiral stood with the blood covered knife in her hand and faced Soze.

"Are you going to kill me now?" he said, his voice almost conversational.

"No, I don't think that will be needed." AdmH leaned over and accessed a control panel calling all the ship to attention.

"Attention nameless ensign slaves aboard the Terminator; this is Admiral Ann Hawthorne of the United Federation of Planets. The Federation and I are willing to pay you for your services if you agree to serve me aboard this ship for the remainder of my mission. The Keyser will be kept under high guard and all clones of both Boltini3000 and Keyser Soze will be destroyed, so you won't have to worry about being killed. I don't just randomly kill people. All those interested in this arrangement, please show your loyalty by destroying the clones and helping capture the Keyser. Hawthorne out."

"You don't really think my men will follow you, do you?" Keyser snarled.

"I think they have already started," AdmH replied lightly.

The Keyser looked around to see all the NES on the bridge circling him with their knives pointed at him. Many more entered from their lift to offer assistance.

One of the NES' spoke up. "Admiral Hawthorne, we are here to serve you."

"Good, thank you," AdmH replied. The NES looked surprised. "Is there something wrong, ensign?"

"No, sir, it's just that...well...we've never been told 'thank you'."

"Ensign, despite protocol, I don't like being addressed as 'sir'. Ma'am will do in a crunch, but I actually prefer captain or admiral. Now, will you please help us secure the Keyser?"

"Yes, ma'am," the NES replied. "We can erect a level ten forcefield with a dampening field around the Keyser anywhere on the ship."

"Good, I want it here, but first let's get rid of those pesky command codes the Keyser has for his ship." Admiral Hawthorne used her Borg technology to tap into the Terminator's systems, and a few moments later a computer voice spoke. "Command transfer completed. Welcome aboard, Admiral Hawthorne."

AdmH turned to the NES. "Ensign, do it."

"Yes, ma'am." A force field was quickly placed around Keyser.

The NES spoke up again somewhat hesitantly. "I took the liberty of disabling his chair access controls, Captain. I hope that's okay."

"It's wonderful, ensign, thank you." AdmH paused for a moment. "Do you have a name?"

The NES looked shocked. "Well...yes...it's Jason."

"Jason what?"

"Jason Hawthorne."

AdmH's eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "Well, Mr. Hawthorne, I look forward to working with you. Now, please go down and release my men. Make sure those clones are destroyed. Otherwise, in about ten minutes, we'll have yet another Boltini to deal with."

"Yes, ma'am!" Jason replied, more confident now. He exited the room, and less than a minute later his voice came over the comm. "Captain, the clones have all been destroyed, but I can't seem to find your people. It seems they have escaped."

"Excellent. No doubt they're headed to the bridge now. Thank you, Ensign Hawthorne. Please report back to the bridge as soon as possible. Hawthorne out."

"Damn you, Hawthorne, this isn't over yet," Keyser snapped.

"You're right; it's not. My ship still needs to be taken care of and you still need to be brought before the Federation counsel. Someone please do something with this body."

Another nameless ensign quickly dragged Boltini's mutilated body away.

"Do you think Starfleet will allow you to continue on as a officer after they find out how you killed Boltini3000 in cold blood?" Keyser's tone was almost mocking now.

"As far as they're concerned through official channels, he's been dead a long time."

EWDEE stared at her leader, unsure if she ever knew the woman before her.

"You'll never get away with this, Hawthorne. For every Boltini you kill another one is waiting to take his place. You can't stop me. I have an army of madmen at my disposal."

"We'll just see about that, Keyser," AdmH said as the turbolift doors opened.

Adam and two NESes entered the bridge. Adam's eyes widened as he saw the admiral. He and one NES seemed to be leading the other. EWDEE waited off to the side, still wary of the captain.

"You're alive Captain!"

"Good to see you, Adam."

"And you, Captain. We have destroyed the clones as you ordered…and most of the ship, but we have this little problem."

AdmH looked at the man they were holding and recognized Boltini -- well, almost Boltini, anyway. He did not have an eye patch or a hook. He kept his gaze down, but she could see the scowl on his face.

"He wouldn't switch sides with the others, Captain. We found him cleaning the pie cannons on G deck," Adam explained.

AdmH looked at Keyser. "Is he a clone, Keyser?"

Keyser shrugged. "Yes, we were running short of NESes once so we used a few of his clones, without some of his characteristic parts, however. I doubt you will have any luck turning him."

AdmH then trained a stern gaze on the Boltini-clone. "Clone, will you join us and gain your freedom? You will be safe."

The Boltini-clone growled, "I will remain loyal to the Keyser till the day I die."

"That's my boy," Keyser said warmly -- for an Evil One, that is.

"What should we do with him, Captain?" Adam inquired, tightening his grip on the Boltini-clone's arm.

AdmH considered carefully, staring into the defiant eyes of the clone. "You won't join us?"

"Never!" The Boltini-clone spit in the Admiral's face.

Admiral Hawthorne calmly wiped off her face. "What did you do with the rest of the clones, Adam?"

"We beamed them out into space."

"Then I think this one had better join them."

"Captain?"

"You heard me, Adam. We can't risk having one on board. Boltini is insane; you saw what he did to the ship. Boltini is too dangerous to have around...any Boltini. Now follow my orders."

"Yes, Captain." Adam and the NES led the clone to the transporter room and beamed him out into space.

---

PG opened his eyes slowly to see Anna's face hovering above him. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"What's going on? Wasn't I just on the Vanguard?" PG said hazily.

"You were. Adam and mcmac beamed you off in the nick of time...you almost died."

"Almost...yeah..." PG struggled to sit up. "Where am I?"

"You're on the Terminator. AdmH was able to take control of it."

"And the Vanguard?"

"I don't know, but it's been beaten up pretty bad."

"I have to go-- URG!" PG clutched his stomach, trying to lessen the sudden pain that gripped him.

"Lie down!" Anna told him firmly. "They don't believe in anesthetics over here, and all of my equipment were destroyed, so you'll have to make do with the pain for a while."

"So many lives lost," PG murmured.

"Don't worry," Anna said reassuringly. "Everything will be fine now. We're going to take this ship back to Earth, and you can have a good rest."

"No, not that..." PG tried to sit up again, but movement beyond turning his head or lifting a hand proved to be too painful. "When I was dying...I saw my past. What a waste."

"What are you talking about? From what you've told me, there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"All those battles, so many lives lost...the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...you know that's not always true?"

"Perhaps. Look, I'm a doctor, not a psychologist. I know you're depressed right now, but don't worry. Everything will be fine very soon."

PG stared at Anna for a moment, and then grinned. "Well, now that I'm surrounded by my friends, everything might be all right."

NAH chose that moment to walk into the Terminator's sickbay. "Yo, PG! How you feeling?"

"I'm feeling pretty good." PG paused. "NAH, remember the first time we faced Keyser?"

"Yeah, we hid in the atmosphere of that planet. Pretty crafty." NAH laughed.

PG grinned, feeling at home for the first time in his career in Starfleet.

---

Kaitz' crude console emitted a strange beeping noise, frankly, she was afraid to touch it. "Captain, someone's hailing us," she said.

"On screen."

The friendly face of GeorgeKirk appeared on the Terminator's view screen. "Hey gang, I'm back! You didn't think I'd desert you, did you?"

---

"Sorry I couldn't bring any reinforcements, guys," GK said as he walked down the ramp from his ship, "but the Terminator has itself a reputation. None of my buddies from the cantina'll come anywhere near it." He looked around. "Never thought I'd be parking my ship in the Terminator's hangar bay."

"Um, about that cargo-" AdmH said.

"Yeah, I took the liberty of beaming it aboard my ship a few minutes ago before I hailed you." GK said, "and you won't believe what was inside." He pulled a small rectangular object out of his jacket pocket.

"It's just a digital timer," Adam said, bewildered.

The Admiral's eyes widened with dread. "That's not all it is." She took the device out of GK's hand and flipped it over. "See this thing on the back? That's a universal connector."

Adam's mouth dropped open. "But that means-"

"That this thing can be plugged into any doomsday device," GK said.

"Can you imagine one of Boltini's Death Pies of Doom with a digital timer?" the Admiral said.

Adam shuddered involuntarily. "It's too horrible to even contemplate."

"The only thing worse than a Death Pie of Doom is a Death Pie of Doom that can count down the seconds until it . . . does whatever Death Pies do." GK said, nodding in agreement.

"A device like this is too dangerous even to exist," AdmH decided. "Adam, get rid of it."

"Aye aye."

---

AdmH, Adam, Kaitz, and GK entered the Terminator's extravagant bridge.

"Cap. Ice," She said. "Can you pilot this thing?"

"Aye, Captain," Ice replied with more than a hint of pride. "I'm the best pilot in Starfleet; I can pilot anything."

"Okay, Mr. Paris. Set a course for the Vanguard and pull her in with a tractor beam."

"Maneuvering now. Tractor beam activated. We've got her, Captain. Well, what's left of her anyway."

"Excellent. Mr. Ice, set a course for Earth, as fast as you can get us there with the Vanguard in tow."

"Course laid in, warp 8. Estimated time of arrival: 5 hours, 12 minutes."

"Engage."

The lift doors opened at that moment and a tall male figure stepped on to the bridge. The Admiral greeted him with a slight smile. "Ah, Ensign Hawthorne, welcome back to the bridge."

"Thank you, Admiral. I must say, I never thought you and your people would win, but I'm glad you did, and I'm proud to have been a part of it."

"Don't forget, Ensign, you're part of 'my people' now too, and, once a crew member of mine, always a crew member of mine."

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

"Granted."

"If it pleases the Admiral, I would like to stay with you and serve you aboard your ship."

AdmH smiled. "I think that would please the Admiral greatly. However, you'll have to pledge your allegiance to Starfleet and we'll have to find out how you managed to inherit such a lovely surname as Hawthorne."

Ensign Hawthorne also smiled. "I would be pleased and honored to do both, ma'am."

---

"We're within hailing frequency of Earth, Captain," Kaitz reported.

"Good, hail them."

"Permission to lower the cloaking device to be able to do so?"

AdmH raised an eyebrow. "How long has that been on?"

Adam spoke up. "Since we started to head in this direction. I assumed Earth wouldn't take too kindly to The Terminator coming to their doorstep. I didn't think you wanted that kind of 'friendly' welcome."

"No, you're right about that. Thank you, Commander. Kaitz, do it."

The cloak was dropped and, almost instantaneously, Starfleet Headquarters hailed the ship.

"On screen."

From the blackness of the screen, Admiral Kathryn Janeway's face appears. "Admiral Hawthorne?"

AdmH relaxed. "Admiral Janeway, good to see you again. I love what you've done with your hair. Auburn always suited you better."

"Thank you, Ann, but we here at Starfleet HQ were expecting Keyser Soze and his people, not you, especially after seeing the Vanguard in tow."

"Well, one of Soze's men was kind enough to blow our ship to pieces, so we decided to borrow his for a while."

Janeway chuckled. "Wonderful. I would have done the same. Tell me, Admiral, do you have Mr. Soze?"

"Indeed, I do. We're ready to turn him over."

"We'll have a fully armed escort coming for him in a few minutes."

"Excellent."

"I look forward to hearing this report, Ann."

"It's quite the story, Kathryn, I assure you. I am going to miss the Vanguard."

"I know what you mean, but I have a feeling that she won't be the last of her kind."

"Oh, I hope not."

She nodded. "We'll have your people here in fifteen minutes, and we'll have ours there in the same to take care of the technical matters and Soze while you're being debriefed." Janeway smiled her crooked smile and leaned back in her chair. "Good work, Ann. I look forward to having that cup of coffee you promised me."

Admiral Hawthorne smiled as well. "I look forward to that as well. Hawthorne out."

The End

Contributors

Keyser Soze, PG15, BASICman, Boltini3000, NAHTMMM, GeorgeKirk, Captain Ice, AdmHawthorne, and EWDEE