Whoo-who! (Coughs) Gah, I sick… -.-'' But I deliver you SFES Anyways! Ho-ray!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fila, Prince of Tennis, or Fanta!
And now for something entirely different! (Not really, but it sounded good, right?)
In a fortress, just outside of the super fantastic city, there lived a villain. He was, of course, and EVIL villain, but you probably already knew that so there was really no point in telling you that.
The villain is currently in his sleeping quarters in his evil fortress. What was he is doing in there, none could tell. Was he plotting evil plots? Was he laughing manically at his evil plots? Was he ordering his henchmen to carry out his evil plots? I'll tell you right now that, no, he was not doing any of those evil things. He was, in fact, reading an evil, wicked, and very addicting book.
"No, Patricia! Don't kiss him! He's you're husband's long lost twin brother who lost his memory and came in search of people who could return it! NOOO!!!
Much to the Annoyance of his henchmen, the evil genius that occupied the fortress apparently didn't have enough brains to know that yelling at a book to stop what it was saying will NOT make the letters magically get up and rearrange themselves to fit the will of the reader. And if they did, I'm positively sure that the words would not appreciate being yelled at, and thus ignore the reader all together. The TV won't listen to you either, so stop trying, all of you!
"Gah! She did it! She kissed him! I can't believe it…" Fuji said, opening his sparkling blue eyes in amazement, "She… no! Not her husband! He's coming, Patricia, run! He's going to catch you two together!" Despite the bad predicament of the heroine, his grin was incredibly wide.
Suddenly, a knock came from the door! It was a hard knock that, of all things, was followed by another knock! Who could it be?
"Who is it?" Fuji said, irritably. He had just reached the best part! "What do you want?"
"Kuwamura Takashi…" The person behind the door said, nervously, "I've come to tell you that-"
Fuji opened the door of his room.
"What?"
"What, what?" Kuwamura answered, puzzled, "My name, or-"
"What are you doing here?" Fuji asked, slowly opening his eyes, which didn't accomplish anything other than making the poor boy in front of him even more nervous.
"Uh… um… I…"
"Spit it out!" Fuji commanded.
"You're late for your appointment with Echizen!" Kuwamura spit out.
"Oh!" Fuji said, brightly, "Oh, thank you!"
Kuwamura sighed with relief, and continued, "I don't think he's going to be very happy. Remember last time when he-"
Fuji opened hi9s eyes and glared.
"OhlookmycookiesareonfireIbettergoputthemoutokaybye!" Kuwamura ran down the hall, as fast as his legs could run down the hall.
Fuji blinked, and then he shrugged. His henchmen could be so jumpy some times. He walked in the opposite direction, down the hall to the stairs. They didn't have elevators, because a certain evil villain felt that running up and down the stairs all day was good for your legs,
"And it firms the buttocks!" Fuji has said, and the henchmen were disturbed.
At this moment, however, Fuji was regretting his "No elevators, EVER!" policy. "Seventh floor, sixth floor, six-and-a-half floor…" Fuji mumbled as he made his way down the stairs, "Five-and-a-fifth floor, four-and-seven-sixteenth floor, fourth floor …"
Finally! The first floor, otherwise known as the Lobby! Fuji silently threw a party in his head, confetti, balloons, and cake included. Regretting that he was already somewhat late, and had no time to throw a real party, Fuji sauntered out the front door.
"Hey… hey Fuji-sempai!" A voice yelled from behind him.
Fuji turned around to face Momoshiro. Momo, as he was so often called, had the unique ability to turn himself into a giant city-leveling monster whenever Fuji felt like having a city leveled. Currently, Momo was running at him, pointing wildly at the sign above Fuji's front door that read F ' vil air. What? F ' vil air?
"The lights are out," Momoshiro stated.
"Well that's just super fantastic," Fuji said, rolling his eyes behind his eyelids.
"No, I think it's bad…" Momo said, ignoring Fuji's sarcasm.
"Let Kaido handle it!" Fuji said exasperatedly.
"I can't find him!"
"Did you use your communicator watch?
"Ye…! Wait… no…"
Fuji was beginning to get annoyed. He rolled his eyes again. Why did he hire Momo? Oh, wait… yeah…
Fuji snapped his fingers, and grinned, "Momo go attack the city!"
"Right-O!" Momo said, and ran off to go transform into his city-leveling form.
"Kaido?" Fuji said into his communicator watch that he "borrowed" from The Super Fantastic League of Super Fantastic Things' lab, "Kaido, I need you outside to fix the Evil lair sign."
"Fshhh…" Came the watch's response. Some would have said that it was malfunctioning, but Fuji knew that the ominous hissing came from none other than Kaido, his evil wizard-like henchmen who could do such things as light Kuwamura's cookies on fire! As a matter of fact, he was currently hiding from Kuwamura, who had somehow obtained a spatula and was waving it around chasing Kaido to avenge his burnt cookies, "Yes Fuji-sempai, but I-"
"Good," Fuji said happily, and ignoring the distressed note in Kaido's voice, "I expect it to be done by the time I get back from my meeting with Echizen!"
"FSSSSHHH!!!" Kaido hissed into his watch.
In the background, there was a loud crashing sound and then a "BURNING COOKIES! GREAT-O VENGANCE!!"
"Thank you dearly, Kaido!" Fuji said, and turned off his watch. He looked at the sky and noted, "It's a nice, clear day…"
He started humming and skipped down the street until he reached the SFLSFT headquarters, which happed to be located just down the street. Fuji had been there many times before, talking to Tezuka, borrowing books (and, occasionally, Echizen), sabotaging Inui's inventions…
He grinned and walked right by the SFLSFT's idiot guards in the lobby. He got on to the elevator with no problem, and made his way up to the living quarters floor of the SFLSFT. When he got there, he was greeted by the greeter, whom he asked which room was Echizen's.
"Oh! That annoying little kid?" The greeter asked, "Why do you want to see him?"
"He owes me money!" Fuji exclaimed proudly. It had taken him all night to think up that genius excuse.
"How much?" The greeter, lets call him Tom, asked.
"Two Fanta's worth."
"Ah. I can understand that. He's always asking me for money. Why just the other day…"
Fuji nodded politely while Tom rambled on in a ramble that could equal Shinji's rambling.
"That kid can drink Fanta like-"
"Which room is his?"
"Oh, sorry. I got carried away there… now lets see… which room is his? They keep changing him around because that evil Fuji fella keeps kidnapping him… lets see here… room 173. Walk down the hall, take the first left, then a right, and you'll see his room."
"Thank you, sir," Fuji said, glad to get away. He walked down the hall, took the first left, and then a right. When he found the door, he knocked twice and opened it.
"Mada mada dane," Echizen said has he entered, "If you're going to capture me, at least do it on time."
"Well, I was reading this really good book, and…"
"Save it," Echizen said, bulling his Fila hat down over his eyes. He walked out the door, and Fuji followed, smiling as always.
So down the elevators, out the front door, and up the street they went. When they reached Fuji's lair, they met Kaido who was fixing the Lair sign, just as Fuji told him to. It currently read Fu i's vil lair.
"Fuji's villair," Echizen remarked, "That really rolls off the tongue…"
Kaido glared and willed with all his might that Echizen would burst into flames. Ryoma didn't, because Echizen spontaneously combusting would probably force me to raise the rating to PG. Nobody wants that now, do we? Also, it was about this time that the author reminded Kaido that this is a kid's show, and that you should never will death on anybody, ever, because it might give the kids watching at home bad ideas!
"Kaido, make sure the last two letters are fixed by the time my Super fantastic nemesis gets here," Fuji commanded.
"Fshhh…" Came Kaido's usual response.
Inside the evil fortress, Fuji offered Echizen a seat. As soon as he sat down, Fuji began tying him to it.
"Are you hungry, Echizen? It's about 1 o'clock, right? I'm sorry I was late, but I was just so caught up in my book that I totally forgot!"
"Yad-" Echizen started, but Fuji took his open mouth as a nice opportunity to gag him.
"It really is a nice book, you know. It's the story of a girl who…" And he proceeded to repeat the whole book to Echizen, ignoring his muffled complaints. When he finished, he raced back up the stairs and continued where he left off in his book.
"No, Patricia!"
And, as we know, Momoshiro was defeated, Echizen was rescued, and Fuji eventually got to throw his party.
THE END!
End notes: This stated when I was discussing with a friend (Morino Wakaba) about how in the SFES Fuji kidnaps Echizen SO often, that he pretty much expects it. Really random and pointless topic, but I had fun writing it. CHA!