Author's Note: I still don't own Slayers or Utena! Sorry this chapter took so long, but it actually covers two episodes. Both Sunlit Garden Prelude and Finale! You might want to pop some popcorn and settle in, because this is a long one. I think this was the toughest chapter of the whole first season, but I had fun with it. The next few should be even better. And yes, I do have special plans for Curried High Trip! ::evilgrin:: As a final note, I'm sorry if any grammar or spelling mistakes made it into this one. I've been sick, and I figured I'd post now and do my final check later.
The strings of his instrument made a soft twang as the wood clicked against the floor, and Phil gently laid it down. He stared emptily at the way the light reflected off the struts, and he ran his finger over the strings experimentally. "Hmm… sounds flat," he concluded dully.
"It was just tuned recently," Filia interjected, as she stepped into the light of the room. "I just wanted to thank you for playing at that party the other night. Your playing really made it a success, but why did you drop out of the competition? All the teachers were so disappointed!" She bit back a grimace as Phil hoisted the instrument and began to play loudly enough to wake the Dark Lord Shabranigdo.
"You always play this same song when you're alone don't you?" she asked, as she tried to plug the ear nearest to the pacifist musician.
"What was that?" Phil shouted back at her, unable to hear her properly over his deafening, yet deft playing.
"I said that you always play the same song when you're alone!" Filia tried to holler over the music, as she lifted one of his music notebooks and idly leafed through it.
"Well, it's the only song that really has any meaning to me. I keep hoping that if I play it, someday she might hear me and know what I'm thinking," Phil crowed. He'd closed his eyes and was clearly feeling the music as the vibrations of the strings and the soundbox coursed through him.
Filia flushed, as she wondered if Phil had been flirting with her. She also wondered how anyone in a fifty-mile radius could possibly not hear him. "Well, everything you feel is there in your playing…" she began. As the page turned, though, a picture of Zelgadis watering his roses in the sunny garden fell into her fingers. Her face broke into a snarl and a vein pounded in her forehead, as she turned away in disgust. It had turned out that Xellos's target at the dance had been Amelia rather than Zelgadis, but it seemed that this chimera still popped up to taunt her at every pass.
Martina sniffled as she bemoaned her latest grade on the math test. "It's just not fair for a beautiful and stylish princess like me to receive such an embarrassingly low score!" she cried. "I'll have to take the damned make-up test for sure now!"
Amelia looked out the window in distraction with her own test laying face down on the desk before her. "Sucks to be you," Amelia told her without any sympathy.
Martina looked up at the heavens in inspiration. "I know! I'll just curse the math teacher, if he refuses to fix it for me. I can use the cursed dagger of Lord Zoamelgustar that I created in shop class!" She clasped her hands together at the thought, and she flashed Amelia a disturbing and satisfied grin.
"Well, maybe you should just cultivate a better sense of logic. Cursing and threatening your teachers is just not a fair way of earning your grades after all," Amelia told her. Perhaps, she could lead her best friend away from temptation, and start the vengeful girl down a path lined with righteousness instead. She would have to lead by example.
"Nonsense!" shouted Martina. She pointed her finger towards her patron monster on high. "Lord Zoamelgustar teaches that a real woman can force her logic onto any man!" she declared with holy fervor. Her strange moment of possession passed, and she appeared disoriented for a moment. Martina shook her head to clear it, and then she turned her attention to Amelia. "So what did you get on that test anyhow?" she asked.
With a slight grimace Amelia lifted up her paper, which displayed a large red thirty-eight in the upper right corner. She heard Martina snort in disbelief and with a pained expression turned to look at the girl over her shoulder. "Maybe you should cultivate a better sense of logic," Martina told her ironically. "Sucks to be you!"
Zelgadis stood at the outdoor sink, tapping his foot and trying not to listen to the sound of running water, as he filled his dainty watering can. After this final trip, he could leave that damned rose garden for the day. It wouldn't be a moment too soon in his opinion. He was pulled from his thoughts as a hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. Before he could even identify the person behind him, he felt a soft hand impact against his cheek and heard the customary screech. A large drop of sweat formed on his forehead. "Why did everybody enjoy slapping this "Rose Bride" person around so much?" he wondered, "Would anyone ever remember that his skin was made of stone, or would the same cheap joke happen over and over?"
"Maybe you should try padding your hand with an oven mitt or something next time," Callie suggested as she cast a recovery spell on Eris's hand. Secretly, Callie was just glad to finally have some dialogue. She was starting to feel like she was stuck in a completely gratuitous cameo part. After a moment Eris pulled away from Callie's spell and regained her menacing standing posture.
"We all know how much Phil loves you!" Eris yelled at the bored and frustrated chimera before her. "You said something to him that shattered his confidence, and that's why he dropped out of the music competition!" she accused, pointing and getting right in Zelgadis's face. She was starting to get her groove back, and she was prepared to really let Zelgadis have it. She knew that Filia was just behind the wall listening to this exchange.
"Hold! Villains!" boomed a deep voice behind the three girls. Philionel raced onto the scene clutching his music books and prepared to dispense his own brand of violent pacifism. "You three brigands against one helpless girl hardly seems like fair odds to me!" he roared. "Step aside or prepare to face the hammer of justice, you monsters!" "Taste my All Men Brothers Hand In Hand!" Phil roared as his palms shot out with such speed that he appeared to have grown eight arms.
Eris, Callie, and Mazenda scattered like restaurateurs in the path of the infamous bandit killer. They'd done their best, but they certainly couldn't expect to be interrupted by the very object of their discourse. Their best move now was to retrench. There would be other opportunities.
"I'm sorry, Miss." Phil smiled apologetically. "You seem to have been caught in a misunderstanding about me. Please allow me to make it up to you somehow," he said, while bowing to Zelgadis chivalrously. A large sweat-drop formed on the back of the chimera's head. This could become a painful situation.
"That's okay," he replied dismissively. "No harm done, and all that!" Zelgadis grabbed his stack of papers hurriedly, and tried to escape before the other man could suggest any methods of atonement. As he shuffled the books in his arms a test from his Geometry of Justice class caught in the gentle breeze, and before Zelgadis could retrieve it Phillionel captured it in one of his big beefy hands. Zelgadis cringed, in anticipation of the big man's reaction.
"Miss Zelgadis!" Phil boomed. His eyes grew round as he spied the very failing grade on Zelgadis's paper. "Please, Geometry of Justice is one of my strongest subjects!" He grabbed Zel's hands between his own and held them over his beating heart as he knelt before the nervous chimera. "It would be a privilege to assist you with my tutelage. I am at your disposal for however long is necessary!" He bowed his head to Zel's hands, and Zelgadis had to fight to hold back his tears. This was going to be more than painful.
Phil followed Zelgadis like a puppy dog for the rest of the day. Where the chimera went Phil shadowed him, talking incessantly and batting his eyelashes in the most disturbing gesture Zelgadis could imagine. That evening the big man even invited himself back to the dorm which Zelgadis shared with Amelia. As much as Zelgadis wished Phil's absence, the anxious chimera was profoundly grateful that Amelia would at least be there to run interference if necessary.
Amelia sat at a study desk and fed Chibi Gourry a large bag of potato chips; while Phil leaned across a low table correcting and instructing Zelgadis on his math. Amelia sighed and tickled Chibi's stomach playfully, as she grew irritated with her own math homework. "Must be nice to have a math genius boyfriend to help you on your homework," she giggled to Chibi. In the next instant a streak of blue flashed past Amelia, and she could feel stony hands grasping her shoulders, as Zelgadis hid behind her.
"Amelia, help me!" Zelgadis hissed in her ear. "Your father just tried to pinch my ass. You've got to help remind him that I'm a man!" he told her desperately. Across the room they could see Phil flash Zelgadis a shy smile and waggle his fingers in a little wave. Both heroes could feel their stomachs flip flop and develop ulcers in response.
Amelia pursed her lips in thought for a moment. "Mister Zelgadis, I know this is a terrible inconvenience for you, but for as long as we're living together, it may be for the best that Daddy thinks you're a girl," she whispered in response. Zelgadis looked ready to protest this decision, until he saw Phil using his Pacifist Crush on a sugar cube for his tea. Stuck in a fanfiction or not, the protective Phil would try to kill Zelgadis if he knew that his darling daughter was sharing a room with the sorcerer-swordsman.
"Then for L-sama's sake, get in there and run interference for me," he responded angrily. "I thought that's what you women did for each other!" he growled as he crossed his arms over his chest and sulked. This was shaping up to be a terrible chapter for him, but when wasn't it?
"You know it's an honor to finally meet you, Amelia," Phil said genially, as he faced the tiny raven-haired girl. "You're all we seem to talk about these days!" He patted his knee and laughed heartily, and Amelia had to resist the urge to laugh along with him. It wasn't that she understood his jokes anymore than anyone else, but she felt bad if she left him laughing alone. People might then realize that absolutely nobody got Phil's sense of humor.
"Um…" she floundered, "Who's we?" She could feel Zelgadis shaking where he was crouched behind her back. Amelia resisted the urge to look back at him, as it might draw Phil's attention back to where it absolutely was not wanted. She could see Chibi Gourry climbing into the plastic bag full of chips, and she quickly dumped it out on the table so that he didn't asphyxiate in there. The little swordsman happily sat in the pile of greasy snacks and munched them at a blinding speed.
Phil took a break from his laughter to look at the tiny heroine. He sized her up under intense scrutiny. "This is we," he announced simply as he held up his hand to show his rose crest. He watched her calm demeanor replaced by anger and indignation. Her eyes lit with the Burning Flame of Justice, and Phil was secretly proud to have raised such a fine girl--even if he wasn't technically her father in this story.
"I can't believe you people!" Amelia stormed. "We, neither of us want to be caught up in these stupid duels of yours! Do you realize how much trouble you've already caused us? Now because of all these duels, we have to take these stupid make-up tests!" Amelia raged, holding up her math book for emphasis. Phil and Zelgadis could see the dark clouds and lightning strikes around her as she ranted in her fury.
"Amelia?!" interrupted the burly pacifist. "You mean you have to take the make-up test too?" His eyes were wide with disbelief and a hint of disappointment, and Amelia was instantly flushed with embarrassment, as she internally berated herself for sticking her foot in her mouth that way.
"Uh… yeah," Amelia conceded in a whisper, as she closed her eyes and reached up to scratch her head nervously. She hoped that she wasn't about to find herself on the receiving end of one of Phil's lectures. Justice speech 87 would be particularly painful at the moment. Behind her Amelia could hear Zelgadis chortling, despite his effort to suppress it.
Zelgadis grew serious as a new thought struck him. He drew his pebbly brows together in contemplation. "Um, Amelia? How on earth did your dad get cast as the timid slightly effeminate blue duelist?" he asked quietly.
Amelia gave him a wide-eyed look. "Oh come on, Mister Zelgadis. Not only are they both pacifists on the side of justice, but they also both have a hand in politics. Not that a student council is the equal of Seyruun. They even share the same English voice actor!" She told him proudly. "That's versatility!"
"Wait a second!" Zelgadis interrupted. "By that reckoning, shouldn't I be Touga?" he insisted.
"Well, no…" Amelia told him. "It wasn't just the voice you know. If it was Martina would be Utena and Mazenda would be Anthy. Besides you'd hate being Touga. There's so much shonen-ai and yaoi, that it suits Xellos much better," she explained with a warm smile. "It was a nice try at getting recast though," she admitted with a fluttering of her eyelashes.
The next day Phil was happily playing away in the music room when Xellos walked in to speak with him. Phil smiled at his fellow council member, as the purple haired duelist drew closer. Neither man noticed Filia positioned by the doorframe eavesdropping. The music in the room soared to near deafening levels, and Xellos grinned broadly. He raised his finger and broke out in a stream of steady Japanese. Phil stopped playing immediately and stared in disbelief. Xellos himself looked surprised, and he tried again to speak. Once again he burbled genially in fluent Japanese.
"By Cepheed and Rezos! What on earth is wrong, Mister Xellos?" Phil asked in concern. As Phil led the smaller man to a chair, Xellos shook his head and threw his hands into the air in complete confusion. Phil patted the perplexed monster's shoulder sympathetically, when he heard the rustling of a note under his hand. Both men exchanged a look, and Phil removed the taped note and began to read it aloud.
"To Whom It May Concern. We the fangirls of Xellos have unified with the fangirls of Touga, in order to undo a great injustice, which now plagues both groups. Because of the casting in this fanfic, it is an injustice that undercuts the sexiness of both characters now. That injustice is the voice of David Moo! We have removed that obstacle to our happiness, and ask only that you don't go looking for him. We will return him to you after the fanfic is finished. And may L-sama have mercy on his soul!" Phil concluded. He looked over at Xellos and both men shrugged. "Well, if it's for the sake of justice, I must fully support their actions," Phil conceded. "But I don't know how we can help you communicate now…" he trailed off.
Xellos opened one eye and laughed mischievously, as a solution occurred to him. He grinned broadly and snapped his fingers. His sexy Japanese voice continued to speak, but suddenly subtitles appeared above him. "Is this a suitable compromise?" the subtitle displayed. At Phil's agreement, he took his mark and they started the scene from where they'd left off. Phil's playing boomed throughout the room and Xellos grimaced as he shouted over it. "You're playing isn't as overpowering as it usually is. Could it be that you've finally found that shining thing that you once told me about?" the subtitle read.
Filia craned her head around the corner at the sound of his voice, and she quickly read his words. "Shining thing?" she wondered quietly to herself.
On an orange wall covered with rose motifs, the shadows of two girls popped up. They were both dressed in the Ohtori uniforms, judging from the silhouettes. Mimi bent her arm and pointed up with her finger. "You know… the boy who first fell in love with me was the one who was best in math," she announced.
"Was he here back then too?" asked Nene, as she covered her mouth in mock surprise.
Mimi nodded in a slow, exaggerated motion. Then she sniffled. "But when he found out that I liked pro-wrestling and my ramen with LOTS of garlic…" she said piteously
Suddenly a third shadow popped up. Shadow Girl C, Miwan made an early entrance. "And that I'm really a man!" she announced dramatically as she threw off her schoolgirl uniform and planted her hands on her hips.
Nene appeared in a trench coat and carrying a suitcase. "Now I know what kind of a girl you really are," she declared as she pointed accusingly at Miwan and Mimi. Then she marched away into the distance.
All three shrine maidens stood shoulder to shoulder again. "The secret of the girl," they chimed in unison, while bobbing up and down in deep knee bends. "Do you know? Do you know? Do you know what it is?"
In the orange of dusk a burly figure rang the doorbell to Amelia and Zelgadis's dormitory. He seemed a bit chagrinned about something, but he smiled in greeting as Amelia opened the door and ushered him inside. "Um, thank you but I wanted to tell you that…" he trailed off in embarrassment as Filia peered out from behind him.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind Phil bringing me along, but I SO wanted to study with you and make friends with you and Miss Zelgadis," Filia beamed.
"Of course it's alright!" Amelia agreed happily. She blinked innocently and turned her attention to the tall, burly pacifist. "But Phil why didn't you tell me that you had a girlfriend?" she said to the big man. She gave him a little wink.
Prince Phil's cheeks turned crimson in response as he spluttered out his denials, and Filia gave him a dark look. She crossed her arms over her chest, and her jaw tightened visibly, as she wondered what was so wrong with her that Phil had to refute any interest in her so vehemently. She cursed men for the umpteenth time and followed silently into the dormitory. She would have her revenge. She would have revenge tonight!
The four people settled comfortably around the low table in the middle of the dorm room, and they opened their Geometry of Justice texts. "Oh, I just love what you've done with your room. And it's just so perfectly neat!" Filia exclaimed sweetly.
"That's because Miss Zelgadis works so hard to keep it clean," Amelia replied with pride in her friend. She grinned wider, noticing how Zel blushed at both her praise and his own inability to chastise her for calling him Miss in the presence of her father.
"It must be nice to live with such a feminine girl," Filia replied wistfully. In her mind she ran through her scenario to tarnish Zelgadis in both Amelia and Phil's eyes. "Oh, Miss Zelgadis," she would say, "I forgot my perfume. Can I use a little bit of yours?" Then after applying Zelgadis's undoubtedly feminine perfume, she would substitute the bottle with some men's cologne. "Oh!" she would cry, "What kind of woman would use men's cologne?" And then Amelia and Phil would see what kind of girl Miss Zelgadis really was, and they would admonish her and turn against her. This would be perfect! "I call it: Miss Zelgadis is a weirdo, who uses men's cologne!" she whispered to herself.
"Did you say something?" Phil inquired.
"No, nothing," Filia replied brightly.
"Oh, Miss Zelgadis," Filia called sweetly, "I forgot my perfume. Could I use a little bit of yours?" Filia batted her eyes innocently, as Zelgadis shared a look with Amelia. He grabbed a bottle off the dresser and reluctantly passed it to Filia. "Thank you so much," Filia cooed, as she opened the bottle and splashed a little on her cheeks and neck. "Aaaaiiiieeeee!" she screeched as a burning tingle assaulted her delicate skin. She looked at the bottle in horror and stood up pointing to the label. "This is men's aftershave!" Filia hollered. "What kind of girl uses men's aftershave?" she demanded.
Zelgadis dropped his head into his hand, as the stupidity of the situation overwhelmed him. "I think it smells perfect with Miss Zelgadis's body chemistry," Amelia said in his defense.
"That's right!" agreed Phil. "It takes a great deal of courage to buy a scent for it's suitability to you rather than based on a male/female marketing ploy! It's just so commendable of her!" Bright stars filled the pacifist's eyes as he spoke "It's just like Miss Zelgadis to do something like that!"
Filia's jaw dropped and beads of sweat appeared on the heads of everybody but Phil. "Alright," Filia thought to herself, "It's time to get serious now!" She ran through her second plan in a manner that bore eerie resemblance to her scene just a few paragraphs ago, and when Phil asked her if she'd just said anything, she again denied it brightly.
Phil went back to the Geometry problem at hand. "Okay, Miss Amelia. Say you are standing on the top of a tree forming the top of triangle "abc". At point "a" is a merchant and at point "c" is a group of bandits. You know the height of the tree is 36 meters…" his voice droned on as he illustrated how to find the length of line "ac" and thus the distance between the bandits and the merchant, who must be defended.
Filia got up and tiptoed over to Zel's dresser with one hand hidden behind her back. In it she clutched a pair of men's briefs. "Oh, Miss Zelgadis," she fussed, "you're dresser is just spotless. I wish I had one just like it! I bet your clothing is perfectly folded too!" With that Filia flung open the top drawer, where Zel like most people kept his underpants. Filia yelled as she saw the neatly folded briefs that filled the drawer, and she tossed her "incriminating" pair into the air. She wasn't even aware as the underwear settled to a rest on the top of her head. "This drawer is filled with men's underpants!" Filia yelled, as she pointed to the offending undergarments. "What kind of girl keeps men's underpants in her top drawer?"
Zelgadis gulped. Zel hazarded a nervous glance at Phil, expecting the prince to finally put two and two together and pummel the chimera to death for being a man living with his darling Amelia. However, the prince betrayed no change of demeanor whatsoever.
"They're supremely comfortable!" Amelia exclaimed, again rushing to Zelgadis's defense. "In fact, I wear them myself. They're so easy to move in, and they don't creep either." Amelia blushed scarlet at her own lie, but she could see Zelgadis give her an appreciative grin. "And as you're already demonstrating, Miss Filia, they also make an excellent nightcap!" Amelia grinned, as she pointed to the underpants nestled in Filia's hair. At this both she and Zelgadis had to fight hard to keep from laughing.
Not catching the joke however, Prince Phil took a pair of Zelgadis's briefs from the drawer. "I seem to remember hearing that myself," he mused, as he slipped the elastic pants onto the top of his head so that his hair stuck out through the leg holes, and a tuft of his bangs stuck through the y-front. "I'm pretty sure that Martha Stewart did a feature on them. The openings allow your head to breath, so they're much better for your scalp. Plus they reduce hairs and dust-mites on your pillowcases," Phil told them with certainty.
Zelgadis and Amelia immediately turned away from the surreal sight of Phillionel wearing Zelgadis's underwear on his head. Zel pinched his own arm as hard as he could to keep the laughter out of his voice, as he said sweetly, "That's exactly right, Phil. That's exactly where I heard about them." Amelia shot the chimera a dirty look, as she nearly broke at his words.
Filia ripped the briefs off her head and huffed back to her seat at the table. If that didn't work it meant she had to bring out her ultimate weapon. This would work, she thought to herself. It had to work! As Phil resumed his lecture, Filia reached back into her satchel for her ultimate weapon. She ran though her final plan in her mind, and then she whispered to herself. "This will work! It has to work! I call it: Operation Zelgadis Is A Great Big Weirdo Who…"
"Did you say something?" Phil interrupted quickly. As she shook her head in denial, Phil turned back to the lesson with Amelia. Commending her work as she gave him the correct distance between the bandits and the merchant in addition to the best landing spot to make a dramatic intervention. "Perfect!" Phil commended. "You know it's a little known fact that an Ally of Justice's speech is primarily used to distract villains long enough for the hero to complete his Geometry of Justice calculations and in that manner figure out the best means of attack!" He could see Amelia's eyes grow shiny with admiration as she absorbed every word of his lecture.
Filia snorted in disgust. It was time to go in for the kill. She edged her way across the room to the lower bunk where Zelgadis slept. Behind her back she held a girly magazine, which she would plant under the chimera's mattress. There was no way these two goody-two-shoes could possibly defend this!
"Why this is such a neatly made bunk, Miss Zelgadis," Filia complemented nicely. "I wish I could fold such clean corners like that!"
Zelgadis's eyes bugged out in terrible premonition, as he watched Filia raise the corner of his mattress. He thought desperately of ways to stop her, but he knew that it was already too late. Zelgadis hung his head in humiliation, as the inevitable scream filled the room.
"Playchimera!" Filia bellowed. "What kind of girl keeps a copy of Playchimera under her mattress?" Her voice reached a strident quality that Zelgadis had never heard apart from the times she fought with Xellos.
Amelia looked at Zelgadis then at the magazine then back at Zelgadis. She hung her head in defeat. "I don't even know how to begin justifying this one," she mumbled quietly.
"Why Miss Zelgadis is obviously a supporter of free speech and freedom of the arts and the press!" exclaimed Phil proudly. "Plus Miss Zelgadis's ownership of that magazine allows her to help keep it out of the hands of an underage viewer! It's just like Miss Zelgadis to go to an extreme to defend justice and freedom!" With big pink hearts for eyes, Phil stared at Zelgadis.
Zelgadis was still trying to find a way to hide under the low table, but Amelia had finally caught the spirit of justice and was preparing to defend him again too. She reached out and took the magazine from Filia and broke out into a broad grin as she saw the headlines written across the cover. "Not only that, but it's also The Princesses of Justice edition!" she announced joyfully. Her grin disappeared as the information sank in, and her eyes grew round as dinner platters as she stared back down at the magazine that she gripped tightly in her white fingers. She looked at the chimera, who had a large drop of sweat clinging to his head, then at the digitally altered centerfold depicting a certain Seyruun princess's head attached to the body of a buxom woman in a leather-strap bikini. She and Zelgadis both turned the same color as a fine red beet. Without further comment, she hid the magazine behind her back, thankful that her father hadn't registered her last comment.
"How about a snack?" Filia offered, breaking the silence that had settled upon the room. "I made a little something for all of us, and I even brought some tea!" Filia reached behind her and produced a large lacquered obento box. She removed the top with great flourish to display her beautiful meal. Instead, the four hungry students found an empty lunchbox. In the center, surrounded by a few crumbs, lay Chibi Gourry, his stomach distended from his large meal. He was picking his teeth contentedly, when Filia picked him up by the back of his tunic like an intrusive, dirty rodent. "Would you know anything about this too, Miss Zelgadis?" she asked, with the stirrings of anger. Chibi Gourry merely burped in response.
Zelgadis could see the vein popping out of Filia's forehead. It matched the one that Amelia had developed upon looking at that magazine. He figured he needed to do something fast, lest he end up on the receiving end of both Filia's beloved mace and Amelia's Vis Fan Rink. "Um… how about I make us a little something?" Zelgadis suggested quickly. He really didn't cook, but there was at least one snack that he could prepare in this situation. He grabbed some cups, flavored syrups, and a big block of ice from the kitchen. Without a snow cone machine handy, Zelgadis shaved the ice using his stony knuckles. Then he quickly passed them out to everyone.
Filia's eye began to twitch. "I can't believe this! Aftershave, men's underwear, dirty magazines! And now shaved ice for dinner? Without even having any tea with it! I have a very delicate stomach you know!" Filia stormed. Amelia and Phil were both telling her how much they liked shaved ice, as Zelgadis slipped out of the room, using the confusion as cover.
He went downstairs to the darkened gathering room, where he picked up his guitar. It was just too frustrating to deal with so many people at once. He was tired of all the attention on him. He collapsed into one of the chairs, and began to play the opening chords of Sasurai, the same song he'd played under the moon while on Captain Jarlove's ghost ship. Playing music was the most calming thing he'd ever found, although he'd noticed certain thoughts about a blue-eyed princess had started to pop up even when he played lately. Zel pushed everything out of his mind and let the melody take him. He didn't even notice the curious footsteps coming down the stairs or the three pairs of eyes suddenly trained on him.
Amelia listened longingly to the soft music. It seemed so much more at peace than Mister Zelgadis normally was, but there was still that trace of sadness that made her want to wrap him in a big hug until he just couldn't be sad anymore--the same way that her father had always done for her. Although, she was still a bit miffed about that dirty magazine.
Phil's face lit up, as he listened to Zelgadis's playing. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "I've found it! My shining thing!" He didn't pay any attention to Filia and Amelia's stares. This was the playing he'd been looking for. In his mind, he flashed back to a happy moment of playing music with his sister in the sunny garden when they were little.
The next morning Zelgadis was quietly going about his business in the greenhouse. At his feet stood a bottle of herbicide. He'd diluted it according the directions, and he was in the process of watering the roses with it while cursing the plants with his every breath. "You roses are all so beautiful, aren't you? Well, take that you beautiful bastards!" he muttered. He stopped before he got to Amelia's pink roses though. Those he diligently fertilized and spoke kindly to, but he had no intention of ever admitting that. Still, the other roses never seemed to weaken to his satisfaction. Maybe he could try fire.
"Good morning, Miss Zelgadis," Phil said cordially. He handed Zel the dainty brass watering can, and Zel quickly kicked the herbicide out of sight.
"Good Morning, everyone," Amelia greeted them, as she bounced into the greenhouse. It was the first thing she'd said to Zelgadis since that girly magazine incident last night. He figured it might be her way of showing that she was willing to let it go now. He hadn't seen the magazine in the trash since then, but he wasn't willing to reopen the subject to find out what she'd done with it either.
"Good morning, Amelia," Zelgadis said shyly. He glanced at her for a moment before returning his concentration to the pink roses, which were receiving the fresh, clean water from the brass watering can. Zel could feel his cheeks turning to match them.
"Miss Zelgadis," Phil interrupted, hesitantly. He nervously concentrated on touching the tips of his index fingers together, as he spoke. "Your music playing last night was wonderful, and I was just wondering if you would mind playing for me sometime?" Phil asked uncertainly.
Zelgadis really didn't want to do that. He hoped Amelia would run interference for him, and he quickly turned to her. "As long as Miss Amelia says it's okay," he said blankly.
Amelia just smiled sweetly. "Then why don't we adjourn to the music room?" Amelia suggested. She merely raised an eyebrow at Zelgadis's protesting hand motions. "My, my, Miss Zelgadis," she said smugly. "What are you going to do about this new man in your life?"
Maybe the magazine incident wasn't quite forgotten yet, Zel amended mentally. She planned to make him suffer after all. With a deep sigh, he followed the other two figures out of the greenhouse and up to the empty music room.
"So what is it about Miss Zelgadis's playing that has you so interested Phil? Last night you compared it to your shining thing," Amelia said, as she leaned against the grand piano that sat under the window.
"Miss Zelgadis has the same touch as my little sister," Phil admitted, as he studied Zelgadis's fingerings on the guitar. "So delicate a touch," he sighed.
"Your sister?" Amelia asked. She didn't remember having any aunts, so it had to be a story point. Still the idea seemed weird to her.
"Yes," Phil began, "My sister and I used to play musical duets together when we were little. Our favorite place was in my parents' sunlit garden. And adults from all around the neighborhood gathered to listen and were amazed at how well we could play."
Zelgadis snorted, as he tried to hold back a laugh at the image of a little Phil in short pants and a matching version of Phil in a dress, both complete with mustache, as faceless adults marveled at them.
"When I look back on it, all my happiness lay in that garden. But then…" Phil trailed off as tears filled his eyes. "Then I destroyed it with my own hands!" he thundered dramatically. "Since we were brother and sister prodigies, I talked my father into letting us give a real concert. I was so excited about it, and even though my little sister was nervous I promised her that everything would be fine. I promised that I'd be right there beside her--the way that I always was." Phil was wringing his hands in agony as he spoke.
"So then what happened?" Amelia asked innocently as she lazily trailed her fingers over the finished surface of the piano.
"On the night of the concert, I came down with the measles. Gracia was forced to go on alone, and while on stage…" Phil paused painfully, "She went into a sudden and tragic case of puberty. Her chest got so big she couldn't hold her instrument anymore, and she ran offstage crying and hid for the rest of the night." Phil wiped a tear from his eye as he finished.
Zelgadis and Amelia face-faulted. A sudden and tragic case of puberty? "I see," Amelia said to placate the large distraught man.
"Since then I've only continued to play, to try to get back that feeling of the days in the sunny garden. I wanted to get back the feeling of my sister's playing, but like I said, it's there in Miss Zelgadis's playing!" Phil explained. He sighed quietly. He took the guitar from Zelgadis's arms. "Now that you know all about it, would you be so kind as to play my sister and my favorite duet with me?" he asked sincerely.
Zelgadis felt his mouth go too dry for speech. He looked to Amelia, who nodded at him. With a gulp, Zel nodded his assent. He cringed inside, as Phil lit up like a huge and strangely menacing Christmas tree. In the next instant, Zelgadis felt the wind knocked from his lungs, as Phil thrust a new instrument at him. Zelgadis looked at it in wonder, then protested, "But this isn't a guitar! It's a banjo! How the hell do you expect me to play the banjo?"
Phil wasn't paying any attention however. He'd picked up his own banjo, and was now playing the opening notes to his favorite song. "Da-dadada-dada-dada-daaaaam" thrummed the strings, as the opening notes to Dueling Banjos assailed their ears.
"Oh, God, Amelia!" Zelgadis cried, "Your father wants to play the theme song from Deliverance with me!" His stone hands trembled, as Phil turned an expectant stare upon him. "Listen, Phil," Zelgadis explained hastily, "If anyone's going to make me squeal like a pig, it's going to have to be Amelia! After all, as the winner of the duel, she is the one I'm engaged to!"
"I thought I told you I'd had enough of that engaged and duel business," Amelia cut in angrily. "I have no intention of following a system that deprives someone of her rights, and you shouldn't want that either!" In the background Zelgadis tried to give her hand signals to explain to her that he wanted her to run interference for him, but he could see it was to no avail as her justice speech mode took control.
Phil's eyes widened in thought. There was injustice here! He must right the wrong! An Ally of Justice could do no less. Within the hour he and the other two familiar silhouettes from the student council were riding up the scenic elevator for an emergency meeting.
"If it cannot break out of its shell, the Golden Dragon will die without ever being born," Xellos intoned solemnly, with his face hidden in the shadows. He was still speaking Japanese with English subtitles, and the third member of the student council looked on in confusion until she read his words. He raised his head to display his customary closed eyes and broad grin. "Which means omelet's at the Beastmaster's annual pancake breakfast for the Restoration of Lord Ruby Eye!"
Lina smashed her fist into the top of Xellos's head. "That's still not how the speech goes! And I can't believe you monsters would actually have fundraisers for the restoration of Shabranigdo! What person would be stupid enough to contribute money for that?" the petite redhead scowled.
"It's all you can eat for a silver piece," Xellos grinned temptingly.
"When's the next one?" Lina asked without looking back at him.
"Fellow council members," Phil began, using the voice he normally addressed diplomats and dignitaries with. "I've called this emergency meeting to suggest the dissolution of the Student Council."
"What?" Lina and Xellos asked as one.
"I can't be party to an organization that deprives Zelgadis Greywers of her freedom! I must allow the shining star of justice to guide my actions! I know that you all want to bring revolution to the world, but in the end aren't we just going to end up smashing something important?" Phil announced, borrowing a bit from justice speech eleven.
"Smash the world's shell," Lina amended crossly. "Not that Xellos ever intends to give that part of the egg speech. She looked at the monster from the corner of her eyes, and he just grinned and started cutting up an apple into star shaped snacks for them all.
"NO! I fear this may smash the spirit--the very essence of Miss Zelgadis! I personally cannot allow that to happen, for to permit injustice against one, is to okay injustice against all!" Phil concluded.
"Boy, Phil," Lina muttered. "You're the most whipped that I've ever seen a man!"
"Yes," Xellos agreed. "Plus, you seem to forget that we all get our instructions from letters sent to us by End Of The First Season. It was the letters that first told us how to unlock the secret dueling arena, and when we did the castle appeared as foretold."
Lina nodded. "It seems a bit late for second thoughts now."
Phil was less than pleased with the way his meeting with the council had gone. He didn't believe for a moment that they were taking his suggestion seriously. It was strange, since he normally could be so persuasive with people. His ideals were certainly in the right place, so why didn't they see the necessity for this uniform approach to justice. He sighed in exasperation, as he prepared to enter the music room for the afternoon recital that Amelia had encouraged Zelgadis to give him. There was a kind and just person, for you!
Before he could enter the room, a busty woman in a half-buttoned girl's uniform plowed into the introspective pacifist. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! You should watch where you're going, Brother!" jeered the raven-haired student in a haughty voice.
"Gracia!" Phil called out. Anger started to spark within him then. "What are YOU doing here anyways? I've given up any hope on you and music!" he reprimanded.
"I'm called Naga now, Daddy!" Naga replied, stamping her foot loudly. "Oops. I mean I'm called Naga now, Brother!" She hastily rebuttoned her blouse and adjusted her necktie. "There are other things to do in the music room, besides play banjo, you know!" Naga retorted, before slinking off to join her friends. Several boys went through sudden, tragic cases of puberty just watching her. Finally, her terrifying laughter echoed down the hallways, causing at least one teacher to run to the school shrine while screaming for it to stop.
Phil slid open the door to the music room and stepped inside. He couldn't change Naga, no matter how good his intentions, but he still worried about what she'd been doing here. It was still his duty as an Ally of Justice to protect her no matter what.
"Hello, Phil," Xellos purred. Unlike Naga, he made no motion to button his uniform, but instead he leaned against the piano and leered at Phil--like a satisfied, squinty-eyed cat. "Your twin sister looks nothing like you," the purple-haired monster admitted. "But she does converse at around the same decibel," he said trying vainly to reopen a collapsed ear passage with his pinky.
He could see Phil standing there in shock, and Xellos felt immense success. "You know, Phil," he started amenably, "Even if you disband the council right now, you still couldn't have the Rose Bride." Xellos took a step towards Phil and opened his amethyst eyes to slits. "In the end only the one she's engaged to can make The Bride do what they want. Only the one who's strong enough to win her through fighting can possess her. If you don't fight for the precious things in your life, people will take them from you." Xellos winked, "You can call it injustice, but the only way to right it is by fighting." With those words he strolled out past a rather shocked and disgusted looking chimera.
"Oh please," Zelgadis thought privately, "Don't let me find out that Xellos and Phil are making time in the music room! I'm going to kill Amelia for getting me into this." He grimaced in pain and adjusted his earplugs, before joining Phil for an encore performance of Dueling Banjos.
All in all, the experience wasn't as bad as Zelgadis had feared, but it certainly wasn't anything he wished to make a habit of. So when Phil asked him to come back and play banjo again the next day, Zel told him that he'd have to ask Amelia for permission. He figured that she would have to cool off eventually, and maybe one day of persecution for him was enough of a penance.
"So if Amelia told you that you had to give up playing altogether would you?" Phil asked incredulously. He'd never suspected that Zelgadis's spirit had been broken so badly. Perhaps, the poor fragile chimera was yet another soul in need of protection.
"In a heartbeat," Zelgadis answered a little too quickly. "I mean… I'm the Rose Bride, I do whatever my fiancée says." How could this ploy possibly backfire on him this time?
"I see," Phil said seriously. "Don't worry, Miss Zelgadis. I will protect your beautiful song!" Phil declared rising from his seat and pointing towards his imagined shining star of justice.
"Thanks so much," Zel told him dryly; now thoroughly aware of how his plan could backfire. He half-wondered if Amelia and Phil would even use swords in the suddenly obvious duel or if they would simply stand at opposite ends of the arena and try to out justice-speech each other. He shuddered involuntarily at the thought of what lay ahead.
True to Zel's moment of precognition, Phil did indeed challenge Amelia to a duel. Thus the unhappy chimera once again found himself working mysteries in his red magical girl gown. Among other indignities, he even had to use his magic to add ruffles to Amelia's black and red boys' uniform. Then the moment of truth arrived at the two opponents stood opposite each other.
Zel ignored his audience and concentrated his thoughts upon the ever-humiliating sword summoning. He gathered energy to his chest, as he incanted his spell. "Oh, Rose of the Noble Castle, Power of Rezos that sleeps within, heed your master and come forth!" A bright flash of blue light emanated from his chest again, and he felt Amelia sweeping him back into her embrace. She gave him that same sensual and possessive gaze that Zangulus had shown. Then she reached into the swirling blue power, and Zelgadis could feel his whole body arch further as the power ran between them and the sword of Rezo's appeared at his chest. His knees shook, and he was dimly aware of a hundred camera flashes going off as the Zel/Ame fans swooned.
"Grant me the power to bring the world revolution, but please don't turn me into a chimera!" Amelia chanted as she drew forth the sword. Zel really wished she hadn't kept that last part on, but knowing the capricious natures of both Rezo and fanfic writers, he figured it was probably for the best that she had.
"Now, Villain," Phil addressed her, "Even if you be my own child, know that I will defeat you with the blazing justice of my heart! For obviously I am the hero, and justice is with me!" He brandished his sword with a florish, and lowered his head to stare out at her from beneath his bushy brows.
"Villain?" Amelia responded with raised eyebrows. "Daddy, I'm the main character of this story! I'm not a villain," Amelia protested with a stamp of her tiny foot. She raised the familiar handle of Gorun Nova before her, even though it had its metal blade locked into place now. "How could you think that I'm a villain and that you're the hero?" she asked in disbelief.
"Don't you know," Phil began seriously, "That villains who disrupt justice and spread chaos always dress in black?" An empty wind blew through the dueling arena, as Zelgadis and Amelia's faces went completely blank. "While I, on the other hand, as an Ally of Justice, I am dressed in white!"
Amelia lowered her brows and looked furious. "Don't you know it's not just to judge someone on appearances?" she asked. It brought the burly pacifist up short, and finally the duel was underway.
Despite their mutual dislike of swords, both combatants showed real ability with them. Even with the difference in size, Amelia could comfortably block and parry Phil's attacks. Likewise, Phil seemed able to anticipate Amelia's moves enough to escape just in time. In acts of psychological warfare, speeches too were being hurled back and forth between the fighters. Zelgadis was really starting to get into watching them, even admiring Amelia's tight little red shorts as she and Phil rushed each other in their final pass.
"I will protect Miss Zelgadis's…" Phil was shouting as the two combatants rushed each other.
"Go on, Amelia! You've got him!" Zelgadis shouted in excitement, and the rest of Phil's speech was forgotton. The big man turned his eyes to look blankly upon the unusually smiling chimera, who was cheering for the petite hero in black, and the floating rotating head of Naga the Serpent covered the final strike of the duel.
Phil collapsed to his knees as his blue rose petals drifted away on the breeze. Above him the mocking laughter of Naga the White Serpent still filled the arena. He wondered how he could have been so wrong. He'd always been on the side of justice before, but apparently Miss Zelgadis did not desire his protection. He looked up as footsteps approached.
Zelgadis and Amelia had gone over to make sure that the beaten pacifist didn't take his loss too badly. He was basically a good guy in Zel's opinion, and to Amelia her father would always be a hero. "Um… It was a nice try, Phil," Zelgadis said uncomfortably, "Better luck next time." That was about the limit on condolence as far as Zelgadis could manage, but it seemed to be enough, as the big man's eyes flared back to life.
Within a few days Phil was back to his usual self. He found Amelia talking to Martina in the hallway and stopped to speak with them. "You got lucky last time," he told Amelia with a toothy grin. "Next time, I'll beat you for sure!" He broke off into a great guffaw and pounded his chest heartily as he walked away to class.
"Looks like he never learns," Amelia said quietly to herself. "Was I ever that bad?" she asked Martina in a small voice.
Preview: Next Episode
Amelia: Lately it seems as though someone is trying to kill Filia.
Zelgadis: Did anyone question the fruitcake?
Amelia: Actually, you're the main suspect!
Zelgadis: That's a baseless accusation! And you say you're an Ally of Justice!
Amelia: Next time on Revolutionary Girl Amelia: Take Care Miss Filia
Zelgadis: The absolute destiny apocalypse!