Lead Me Through the Fire
Part Five
Captain's Log, Stardate 58194.3 The situation in Engineering has become critical -- we are limited to warp 2 and are under constant threat of the engines shutting down completely. Despite my misgivings, I now have no choice but to send the Delta Flyer on an away mission to search for a suitable source of dilithium or Voyager will soon be incapable of warp. Traveling at maximum warp, the Flyer will be able to cover far more ground than Voyager in her current state. The Flyer will be equipped with the two prototypes of our transphasic torpedoes. They have yet to be tested, but I have confidence in Tuvok's simulations and will use them if it becomes necessary.
Captain Janeway let her gaze travel around the console in Engineering where the senior staff had gathered, taking in their reactions to her announcement but determining very little from the steadfast expressions of her officers.
"Mr. Paris," she said, snapping out of her train of thought, "ready the Delta Flyer. We'll leave at 2200."
"Aye, Captain."
She turned to B'Elanna. "Have two of your people gather the necessary equipment and meet us in the shuttle bay."
"Captain, I --"
"No. There are still too many repairs to be made and I'm not willing to spare your expertise for a routine mining operation."
It was Tuvok's turn. "A foray into Borg territory could hardly be called 'routine,' Captain. You should be accompanied by security personnel."
"I'll be at tactical. I'm not taking a crew larger than four and the mission will go faster with two engineers than with one." She surveyed the rest of the staff. "Anything else?" She nodded. "Good. Let's go to work."
The staff began to disperse, until only B'Elanna and Chakotay remained. Though she wasn't looking at him, Chakotay had known B'Elanna long enough to know when she had something on her mind and was holding her tongue with effort. It was a rare but distinctive feeling that emanated from her, like a coiled snake about to strike but biding its time. "What?" he snapped, more harshly than he intended.
She glanced up, considered him for a few seconds, then looked back down at her console. "Nothing. I just expected you to say something."
"About what?"
"Letting the captain go off on a dangerous mission in the middle of Borg-occupied territory without any tactical officers."
His expression darkened and he concentrated on the panel in front of him. "She's capable of making her own decisions. I'm not her keeper."
"No, you're her First Officer." She snorted. "Or at least, you used to be."
He looked up at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Figure it out, Chakotay."
"Look... if I've learned anything about Captain Janeway, it's that when she puts her mind to something there's no turning her away, so --"
"If -- if you've learned anything about Captain Janeway?" she sputtered. "Chakotay, you probably know more about her than half the people on this ship put together! And all you can say is, she's stubborn?"
He pointedly avoided answering.
"Look. I don't expect you to convince her to stay. Neither does she. But I'd bet the warp core that the fact someone tries to dissuade her means something. And it probably keeps her from crossing the line between risk and kamikaze."
"She's crossed that line before."
"And every time, someone's been there to pull her back. One of these days, she's going to cross it again, only this time it'll be permanent."
A voice called from the other side of the warp core, interrupting them. "Lieutenant!"
She glanced over her shoulder, then looked back at Chakotay. He was once again studying his PADD intently and ignoring her. With a sigh, she turned away. "Coming."
After a few steps, she paused and turned back. "I've been in that place, Chakotay. It's a swirling, deep, dark black hole that sucks you into it. You're powerless to get out, and the harder you struggle the weaker it makes you. It's horrible, and it's torture... but the only thing you want more than for it to all end is for someone to come in after you."
She waited for a reaction, but when he showed none she turned and walked away, the disappointment evident on her face.
......
Kneeling next to his compact travel bag, Tom surveyed his quarters, mentally running through his list and trying to determine if he'd forgotten anything.
"Canna come?"
Tom affectionately mussed Miral's dark locks as she sat on the floor next to him, her arms wrapped around one of her stuffed animals. "Not this time."
"Why?"
"Because it's too dangerous, sweetie. This mission is for the grown-ups."
"Bud I wanna have a 'venture, like in your stories."
"When you get older, I promise."
"I almost four!"
"Older than that."
"How older?"
"A lot older."
Miral sniffed and tugged on the ear of her plush bear. Setting his bag aside, he shifted closer to her and gently clasped her chin, tilting it up so her dark eyes swimming with tears were fixed on him. "I need you to be brave for me while I'm gone. You look after your Mom, and do what she says. Okay, kiddo?"
She nodded with another sniff.
He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "That's my girl."
Rocking back on his heels, he returned to packing his bag but something white, black and fluffy was thrust into his field of vision.
"Can Pandy go?"
Miral was standing next to him, her arm extended and her small hand clutching the stuffed bear. He smiled despite himself and shook his head. "Thanks, but you keep him."
"You woan get lowny?"
After a pause, his smile deepened and he reached out and accepted the toy. "Sure you won't miss your Panda?"
She attempted a brave shrug, though her eyes remained longingly on the bear.
He gently settled the stuffed animal in the bag next to his spare uniform. "I'll take good care of him, I promise."
"I'll hold you to that."
He looked over his shoulder and saw B'Elanna standing in the doorway, her arms crossed.
"Looks like you're all packed," she added with an edge to her voice.
He climbed to his feet, moving over to the doorway to join her.
"I should be coming with you," she said resentfully, tugging on his uniform jacket.
"What about Miral?"
B'Elanna frowned. "So you're allowed to leave, and I'm the one who's responsible for our daughter?"
"That's not --" He broke off, sighed, and rested his hands on her shoulders. "You know Miral isn't a responsibility I take lightly. But I'm the best pilot we've got, and you're the best engineer we've got, and we're needed where we can do what we do best."
She appeared slightly mollified. "I still wish I was going with you."
A hint of a smile played on his lips. "You hate being cooped up in the Flyer."
"I hate being left behind, too," she retorted.
He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips lingering on hers as he reluctantly pulled away. "I'll see you when I get back."
She patted his arm affectionately. "Be careful, Flyboy."
.....
Captain Janeway and Chakotay matched strides as they moved down the corridor towards the shuttle bay. The corridor was lit only by a scattered handful of flickering lights and the floor was littered with dirt and debris.
"We'll have to avoid using the comm except in an emergency. I don't want to take the chance of the Borg intercepting our transmissions and pinpointing our positions."
Chakotay nodded. "Understood."
She ducked under a hanging conduit. "There's no telling how long it will take us to find a suitable source of dilithium."
"We'll be watching for you."
They arrived at the entrance to the shuttle bay. The doors slid open, revealing the Flyer parked in front of them. Tom and Lieutenant Nicoletti were loading equipment into the cargo hold.
Harry emerged from the Flyer. "The prototype transphasic torpedoes are loaded," he announced as the captain and Chakotay approached.
"Good," said the captain with a satisfied nod.
Tom and Nicoletti set down the final crate in the cargo bay. "That's the last of the supplies," he said. "Everything else is already on board."
"We're ready when you are, Captain," confirmed Lieutenant Nicoletti.
She nodded. "Then let's go. The sooner we get this over with, the better."
"Yes, ma'am."
Harry turned to follow Nicoletti into the Flyer, but was called back by a stern voice. "Ensign?"
He looked over his shoulder to meet an icy stare from Captain Janeway. "Yes, Captain?"
"What do you think you're doing?"
He met her gaze steadily. "Coming with you."
"I thought I made myself clear at the briefing."
He stood his ground. "You told B'Elanna to assign two Engineers to the away team."
"Last time I checked, Mr. Kim," she said deliberately, "you were not an Engineer."
"You gave B'Elanna permission to draft any officer to her team as she saw fit."
Captain Janeway stared him down for what seemed an eternity before nodding curtly. "Get aboard, Ensign."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, immediately scrambling into the Flyer.
Captain Janeway watched him until he was out of sight, then turned to face Chakotay, adjusting the bag slung over her shoulder. "I know you don't agree with my leading this mission, but I'm not willing to send someone else. It's too risky."
She watched him as if expecting a response, her eyes fixed on his. After several seconds that seemed to stretch out interminably, she tore her eyes away, looking down to shift her bag again. When she looked back at him, her expression was neutral. "Take care of my ship."
"Of course."
"If something happens, you're not to waste time searching for us. I don't want to put anyone else at risk."
"Captain --"
"That's an order, Commander."
His expression wavered, but then he nodded in resignation. "Understood."
......
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58234.7. After fifteen days of scanning, we have located an M-class planet with high concentrations of dilithium ore. We passed within sensor range of three Borg vessels, but fortunately have yet to be pursued.
"There's a high concentration of dilithium in one of the northeastern continents," reported Lieutenant Nicoletti.
"Take us down, Mr. Paris," ordered the captain.
"Sunrise in the area isn't for another forty-five minutes," added Nicoletti.
"It should still be light enough to see our way around to scan for a suitable site," said Harry.
The Flyer descended through the clouds, emerging into a black sky that swallowed the small vessel. Flying solely on sensors, Tom watched the readouts as the ground drew near. He leveled off their descent, the small shuttle skimming over the tops of trees that were barely visible as vague shadows passing below them.
The trees thinned, the meager light reflecting off long grass blowing in a clearing. Tom slowed the Flyer to a halt, hovering before gently lowering it to the ground. The blades of grass flattened, crushed under the weight of the shuttle.
As Tom began shutting down the engines, the others rose and moved towards the rear of the Flyer to gather the mining equipment.
Expecting a fresh breeze blowing across the meadow, Nicoletti scrunched up her face when she stepped out of the Flyer into the clearing. "Ugh," she muttered as the smell of acrid smoke permeated her nostrils. "What's that stench?"
"Smells like there must have been a forest fire recently," said Harry as he followed her out of the ship.
A pair of moons were visible on the horizon, illuminating the terrain so they could see they were standing on the cusp of a large valley. Behind them, the trees they had passed over on their descent stood behind them as a wall of shadow. In front of them, the grassy terrain sloped downwards before sharply dropping off, and as the hum from the Flyer's engines vanished they could make out the distant sound of running water.
Tricorders in hand, Harry and Nicoletti split up and began moving in different directions, scanning for dilithium deposits.
Captain Janeway stepped out of the Flyer and paused to allow her eyes to adjust to the pre-dawn darkness. Her gaze turned skyward and she frowned. A haze hung in the air around them, thick enough to block out all but the brightest stars. She narrowed her eyes, but after a few moments turned her gaze away from the heavens and resumed the task at hand.
After they had been scanning for some time, the hush hanging over the valley was broken by a loud clang and a surprised exclamation from Nicoletti.
Harry, scanning several meters away, turned towards her. "Hey, you all right?"
"Yeah. Stepped on something." She held up a long, narrow arc of material that she had inadvertently trod on in the darkness and scanned it with her tricorder. "It's made of some sort of alloy."
"Debris from a crash, maybe?" suggested Harry.
"Maybe. The sensors didn't pick up any sign of civilization."
"We had most of the sensors calibrated to scan for dilithium. We could have missed it."
Captain Janeway joined them, shouldering some of the mining equipment. "Anything?"
Nicoletti dropped the mysterious piece of metal. "Not yet."
Harry motioned over his shoulder. "I think I was getting close to a deposit."
"Good. Let's move."
They followed Harry to his previous position and resumed their scanning. Every so often, unusual sounds would break the silence as they happened upon further pieces of debris that seemed out of place in the quiet meadow.
Within ten minutes they had pinpointed a dilithium deposit a few hundred meters below the surface. The blackness along the horizon above the trees behind them was merging to a softer hue, and by the time they had retrieved the rest of the equipment from the Flyer there was enough ambient light for them to see what they were doing without difficulty.
While Harry adjusted some of the equipment, Nicoletti stretched to relieve a cramp beginning to form in her lower back and surveyed the landscape. As the sun rose higher above the forest at their backs, the shadow over the valley began to recede, revealing rolling hills of green grass punctuated by trees.
She frowned as the shadow retreated further and the light began to reach the base of the valley, then let out a horrified gasp.
Harry glanced up at her, then followed her gaze into the valley. His expression clouded. "Captain!"
She approached, her eyes becoming somber and grim as she took in the scene.
The rays from the rising sun pierced eerily through a cloud of smoke that was trailing upwards and spreading out over the valley, covering the catastrophic ruins of a large city. The shells of houses and large buildings hung off dilapidated and charred frames, some of the debris still smoldering. On the opposite side of the valley the wreckage of three small spacecrafts were visible, trails of smoke still swirling upwards. Another craft appeared to have plowed into the hillside that sloped in front of them down towards the valley.
Tom spoke first, voicing the thought on all of their minds. "The Borg."
"Who else could do something like this?" agreed Harry.
"Lifesigns?" asked Nicoletti.
Tom raised his tricorder and held it in the direction of the carnage; after a few moments he lowered it and shook his head. "I'm not picking up any. We could make a pass with the Delta Flyer, just in case."
Captain Janeway shook her head slightly, her lips pressed into a firm line. As the sun crept higher, they could make out bodies littering the burnt landscape and the rubble in the streets. "Nothing could have survived down there."
"We don't know that," said Harry. "Maybe --"
The captain turned her back on the remains of the city. "We have work to do, Mr. Kim."
He hesitated for several long seconds, his instincts battling his Starfleet training, but then turned and moved back towards their equipment.
When the others returned to the mining, she allowed herself one final glance at what must have once been a thriving civilization, but her gaze did not linger and she pulled herself back to the task at hand.
The sun was beating down on them from overhead by the time their mining was well underway. The air was warm, but the haze of smoke from the ruins below still swirled in the air, the stench of ash and charred flesh stinging their nostrils.
Checking the rate of dilithium extraction on a display, Harry stood up and looked restlessly over the valley. He fiddled with his tricorder, flipping it over again and again in the palm of his hand, but then paused and shoved it decisively back into the holster on his belt. He moved over to where Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Nicoletti were overseeing another piece of equipment.
"Captain? I'd like to go scan for more dilithium deposits. We have no way of knowing if this one will last long enough for us to get as much as we need."
She glanced up, her eyes fixed on him for several very long seconds of intense scrutiny. At last, however, she nodded and returned to her work. "Take Lieutenant Nicoletti with you."
"I can handle --"
"That wasn't a suggestion, Ensign."
"Aye, Captain," he muttered.
Nicoletti gathered her tricorder and a water bottle and followed Harry. They walked quickly and in silence, and were soon out of sight of the others.
Harry glanced over his shoulder to ensure they were hidden by the terrain, then swung left, heading down into the valley.
"Hey!"
He turned around and saw Nicoletti jogging after him, tricorder in hand. "What?" he asked.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to make sure there aren't any survivors down there."
"Captain Janeway said -- "
"I know what she said, but I'm not going to ignore the possibility that there are people down there who need our help."
She frowned. "You know, technically I outrank you, Ensign."
"I'm a bridge officer. So technically, I outrank you, Lieutenant."
Her frown deepened. "I'll have to look that up," she muttered.
"Regulation fifty-six, subsection d. Besides, you agree with me." He turned his back on her and started again on the path down into the valley. "Are you coming, or not?"
She stood rooted in place until he was out of sight. She stole a glance back towards their impromptu campsite, but then with a deep breath she turned back and started down the path after him.
.....
Tom held the dilithium canister steady as Captain Janeway wrestled with the equipment, attempting to secure the valve of the full canister supported by Tom so they could replace it with an empty one.
"There," she gasped finally, straightening with a wince.
Tom pulled the canister free and set it on its end. The storage containers were waist-height, almost half a meter in diameter and made of thick titanium for secure transportation. "One down."
"Twenty to go," added the captain with a sigh as she took the new canister Tom passed her.
"I remember when I used to like away missions," he muttered with a snort. "Shore leave, I think we used to call it."
"I suppose it has been a while since we've all been able to stretch our legs."
"Almost four years," Tom replied instantly.
She shoved the seal into place on the canister and reactivated the extraction sequence, then turned to look at him with a quizzical frown. "Has it been that long?"
"Since before Miral was born. She's never been off the ship."
She patted him on the shoulder. "We'll get through this, Tom. We won't be fighting the Borg forever."
"I appreciate the sentiment, Captain, but you don't know that. The Borg spread like a virus... we have no way of telling how far their space extends, how far it will extend three months from now, or if we'll get out of it alive."
"I have faith."
"I know you do. It's why the rest of us haven't lost ours in eleven years."
She looked at him in surprise, but he was busy with the equipment and was unaware of her scrutiny. Unsure whether to be concerned or consoled by the sentiment, she busied herself with scanning the dilithium as it was extracted and tried to keep her mind off their larger predicament and focused on their current one.
One thing at a time, she told herself. One thing at a time.
.....
Something resembling a limp bundle of rags lay near the edge of what appeared to be the remains of a once beautiful plaza. The rough ground crunching under his shoes, Harry moved closer and knelt beside it. Rolling it over, a lifeless face stared back at him. It was a small boy with thick dark grey mottled skin. The front of his skull was smashed, dark green blood caked over his forehead and dried in streaks down his face.
Lieutenant Nicoletti knelt beside him. Their eyes met, then turned back to the dead youth.
"Come on," Harry muttered, looking away and once again surveying their surroundings for other signs of survivors.
They split off in different directions, their tricorders extended in front of them, scanning for any indications of life.
"Harry! I've got something!"
He jogged towards the sound of her voice, stepping around chinks of rock, metal, and debris. Rounding the corner of a crumbling building, he saw Nicoletti kneeling next to a pile of debris under a half-fallen arch, frantically clearing away chunks of rock.
"What is it?"
She looked up, pushing a lock of hair off her forehead. "The tricorder picked up something under this rock pile," she gasped.
He fell to his knees beside her, helping her push aside a large fragment of the arch. "Lifesigns?"
She shook her head, brushing the back of her sleeve across her forehead. "I can't be sure, but it was definitely something."
For every rock and chunk of debris they shifted, three more were underneath it and at first it wasn't obvious that they were making even the smallest dent on the pile of rubble. However, a shallow pit slowly began to form, leading them closer to the source of the tricorder readings.
His lungs heaving from the exertion and the dust and debris they were inhaling, Harry wiped his forehead with the back of his sleeve and sat back. Taking in the shape and angle of the mound of rubble they were perched on, he frowned thoughtfully before climbing to his feet.
"I'm going to take a look around the other side," he said. "We might have a better chance at getting to whomever's trapped under there."
She nodded but was too strained and focused to take the trouble of answering.
He scrambled down the pile, loose rocks clattering under his feet and his arms extended to keep his balance on the precarious ground. Moving around what little remained of a massive arch, he circled the hill of debris and extended his tricorder.
"The readings are stronger from this side," he called out. "The debris mustn't be as deep over here."
"Should we try digging from there?" she yelled back.
He frowned. "Hold on.... something's not right."
"What is it?"
"The tricorder readings. It doesn't look like a lifesign. More like... some kind of energy signature."
He looked up as he stepped past a half-collapsed pillar that had been blocking his view of the underside of the heap of rock and debris they had been frantically digging at. He froze and his eyes widened.
It only took a split second for his shock to be suppressed and his instincts to kick in. "Get down from there!" he yelled as took several tentative steps backwards.
"What?" she called back, her voice muffled by the wall of debris separating them.
He spun on his heel and began running in the direction he had come. "Get down!" he yelled again.
As he rounded the heap of rock and metal, he saw her making her way back down to the ground. "Harry, what --"
"RUN!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her along with him, sprinting as fast as his legs could pump.
A high-pitched wail pierced the air, spurring his steps. There was barely time for them to register the loud explosion from behind them before the force of the shockwave slammed them into the ground. Harry's vision shattered into a kaleidoscope of colours and then everything went black.
.....
Captain Janeway looked up from her scanning with a frown as the sound of an explosion echoed through the air. A large flock of birds took flight in valley, passing through a mushrooming cloud of dust rising above the trees.
She instinctively drew her phaser as her eyes searched the surroundings for any threat. "Janeway to Ensign Kim," she snapped urgently as she tapped her commbadge.
When there was silence, she repeated herself. There was still no answer.
She glanced over at Tom as he approached, a concerned frown distorting his normally upbeat features.
"How long since they left?"
"Half an hour, maybe."
"Get back to the Flyer -- see if you can get a transporter lock."
"There's a lot of ambient radiation, probably from the Borg attack. It'll be near impossible to get a transporter lock through it."
"Then we'll just have to go out and look for them." She turned and moved back towards where they had set up their equipment. "I'll shut down the mining equipment; get some water and medical supplies from the Flyer."
"Right."
Captain Janeway looked back towards the valley as Tom took off in the direction of the Flyer at a brisk jog. A frown darkened her features. Harry, what have you gotten yourself in to?
.....
Stumbling through the murky waters of semi-consciousness, Harry's mind followed the soothing, rhythmic beeping of a tricorder for several minutes before his last few moments of consciousness returned in a horrifying flash and he opened his eyes with a sharp intake of breath.
"Whoa... take it easy."
He turned towards the familiar voice and saw Tom leaning over him.
"What... happened?" he asked groggily. He looked around him and recognized the hold of the Delta Flyer, realizing that he was entrenched in one of the medical beds.
"I was hoping you could tell us that. We found you unconscious and beaten to a pulp at the edge of a nasty-looking crater."
More information flooded Harry's brain. "Nicoletti! Is she --"
"Worse off than you. Internal bleeding, broken bones, and some serious neurological injuries from the concussion."
"Will she be okay?" he croaked in a horrified voice.
"I've got her stabilized for now. Doc should be able to fix her up once we get back to Voyager." He glanced at his tricorder. "As for you, I've healed your broken ribs, but I wouldn't go doing any Klingon calisthenics for a while. You also had a mild concussion. You're lucky it was't worse from the looks of that hole blasted on top of you."
Harry sighed, massaging his tender side. "We thought we detected a lifesign under a pile of rubble, but it was an energy signature... from an undetonated Borg torpedo with an unstable warhead. I realized what it was and we tried to run... obviously, we didn't make it."
"What were you doing down there in the first place? I thought you went scanning for dilithium."
Harry opened his mouth to answer but saw Tom's eyes dart to the doorway to the cargo hold and he froze.
"Could you excuse us, Tom?" said the unmistakably icy tone of Captain Janeway from outside Harry's field of vision.
Tom glanced back at Harry and gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder before he left.
Sitting up gingerly, he saw Tom step around Captain Janeway and exit the Flyer. She watched him leave, then turned back to Harry.
Harry's eyes seemed to have a will of their own, rising up to meet hers despite his conscious efforts to keep them locked on the floor. "I suppose you want an explanation."
Her eyes burned into him, the blue irises radiating like cold steel. "I don't need one. You were down in that valley looking for survivors, despite the orders I expressly gave to the contrary."
"If there was anyone down there, we had an obligation to help them."
"I agree."
"But then why --"
"Because we have a greater obligation to Voyager. It will take us longer to get the dilithium we need working short handed, and we wasted an hour of daylight looking for you." She looked at him calmly, her cutting tone more unnerving than outright anger would have been. "The longer Voyager waits for us at the rendezvous, the longer they're an easy target for the Borg, with the warp drive in the condition it's in. There was almost no chance of finding survivors, so I didn't feel it was worth the time to search."
"Even if there was a one in a million chance, isn't it still worth trying?"
"When there's so much else at stake? No, I don't think it is."
Harry turned away, his jaw clenched. She turned to leave, but his sharp tones called her back.
"I remember a time not too long ago when you would have risked a lot based on a slim chance like I did today."
She stood perfectly still for a few moments, and when she turned to face him and spoke her voice had a flinty edge. "You made a mistake, Harry, but it won't be you that pays the price. Lieutenant Nicoletti already did; we'll be fortunate if no one else does."
"I screwed up, but I did it because I thought I could help people and given another opportunity, I'd probably do it again!" His momentum spent, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he offered.
"I gave you a direct order, Ensign. I expected you to trust me and follow it." She watched as his expression fell and his eyes moved to examine his boots. "And don't ever lie to me again."
By the time Harry found the courage to meet her furious gaze, his eyes only found the back of her head as she turned on her heel and strode down the open ramp of the Delta Flyer.
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58294.6. Our mining operation took longer than I anticipated, but we have collected enough dilithium for Lieutenant Torres to return the warp drive to full capacity and are now returning to Voyager.
"We're approaching the rendezvous coordinates," announced Tom from the helm.
"Bring us out of warp," ordered the captain.
The stars streaking past the Delta Flyer merged into distinct points of light as Tom dropped the ship to impulse. An ominous silence fell inside the cabin as they looked out at the empty void outside the shuttle.
"Mr. Kim?" asked the captain finally, her clipped tones ringing in their ears as their expectations of a warm welcome evaporated.
"Scans aren't picking up any sign of Voyager within two light years."
"Borg?"
He shook his head. "A couple of ion trails, but from the decay I'd guess they're several months old."
Intermittent beeping from the consoles was the only sound inside the shuttle for several long moments.
"We were gone longer than we expected," said Harry at last. "They should have been here by now."
"They must have been delayed," said Tom. The slight waver in his voice suggested that he was trying to convince himself as much as the others. "Maybe they had trouble with the warp drive."
"It's too early for speculation," said the captain. "Any number of things could have detained them." She took a moment to purge the vivid image of Voyager surrounded by Borg cubes, helpless under a torrent of weapons fire, from her mind. Turning back to the tactical console, she kept her face an impassionate mask. "Well just have to wait."
She looked towards the helm and locked eyes with Tom, whose penetrating stare nearly unseated the careful control of her countenance she had just imposed. "Lieutenant?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied, and turned back to the helm.
"Mr. Kim," she continued, keeping her gaze fastened on her console, "continue long-range scans."
"Aye, Captain."
She glanced up to ensure that both men were focused on their own stations, then began discreetly checking the status of their weapons and shields, hoping fervently that for once, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach was wrong.
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58301.7. It's been three days since we arrived at the rendezvous coordinates. There has been no sign of Voyager, but I remain confident that they won't keep us waiting for much longer.
"Why don't we go looking for them?"
Captain Janeway looked up at Harry and held his gaze before turning back to her station. "They might have altered course to avoid the Borg." The image of Voyager besieged by Borg cubes flashed briefly before her eyes. "If we try to go looking for them, we'd risk crossing paths. We're better off remaining here where they expect us to be."
Harry nodded thoughtfully as he continued his scans. "They should have been here at least ten days ago," he suggested after a few moments. "Maybe they went out looking for us."
A chill ran down the captain's spine, her last conversation with Chakotay echoing ominously in her mind. For once, she hoped he would disobey a direct order.
But then, that shred of hope evaporated. "They would have left a message beacon," she realized.
Harry's shoulders slumped. "Right."
She watched him as he stared listlessly at his console. She started to speak, but found herself at a loss for words of comfort and turned back to her own scans, letting them both remain alone with their thoughts.
.....
Lieutenant Nicoletti turned her head slightly as she heard footsteps approach her bunk, but was unable to determine the identity of her visitor until Tom crouched down beside her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, pulling out a medical tricorder and beginning to scan her.
Her voice was hoarse and it took more effort than she expected to answer. "Like a photon torpedo went off next to me."
He didn't react to her attempted humour. "Well," he said after studying his initial scans, "looks like your internal bleeding has stopped and your broken bones have healed."
"And the Vulcan gong going off in my head?"
A hint of a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth but lasted only a fraction of a second before he reverted to his grim expression. "I've done all I can for the neurological damage. You'll have to hang in there until... we get back to Voyager."
She winced and rubbed her temple. "How far are we from the rendezvous?"
The motion of the tricorder wand stopped. "We're..."
For the first time she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his white-knuckled grip on the tricorder. "What is it?"
He sighed and replaced the scanning wand in its berth. "We arrived at the rendezvous five days ago."
She propped herself up slightly on her elbows. "What?"
He fingered the tricorder, avoiding her gaze. "We... don't know where they are... why they haven't shown up or tried to contact us...." He cleared his throat. "We've... thought about starting a search, heading for their last position... the Captain wants to wait, for now."
She fell back on the bed in stunned silence, her eyes wide as she placed a trembling hand over her mouth.
"Get some rest," he said finally, climbing to his feet. "Let me know if you need anything."
She nodded, staring blankly at the bunk above her through the tears welling in her eyes before squeezing them shut.
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58339.4. We've now been waiting for word from Voyager for sixteen days. I've decided to begin searching for them -- sitting here helpless to do anything but continue long-range scans is beginning to wear on the crew both mentally and physically. At least a search may provide us with some semblance of control over the situation.
The captain emerged from the hold of the Flyer and strode purposefully towards the helm.
"Mr. Paris," she said as she took her seat at tactical, "calculate Voyager's last known position and project their course to the rendezvous, then map out a search grid."
Without looking up, she could sense his eyes on her. "Aye, captain," he replied after a few moments.
"Ensign Kim," she continued, "prepare a class three beacon and encrypt it with a message for Voyager explaining our intentions; I don't want to leave only to have them show up right behind us and wonder where we are."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Course laid in," said Tom, swiveling his chair to face her and this time meeting her eyes.
She nodded. "Engage as soon as the beacon is launched. Warp 8."
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58352.5. After five days of searching, we've found no sign of Voyager. Without any clues as to where they might have gone or what may have prevented them from reaching the rendezvous, we have no choice but to continue with our search grid and hope for the best.
Captain Janeway slowly approached the helm, her strained eyes focused on the back of Tom's head as he looked back and forth between the various displays in front of him. She stood at the top of the ramp leading down to the helm, the silence in the cabin punctuated only by the beeping of the consoles in front of Tom.
"Anything?" she asked finally.
He didn't seem at all startled by her voice, aware of her presence well before she spoke. "No."
She moved down the ramp and stood behind his chair. "I know you're worried about them, Tom. We all are." She paused. "You've been at the helm for fourteen hours straight, and you haven't slept for two days."
"Neither have you," he returned.
"I outrank you."
His hands stopped their motion across his controls and after a few moments, he swiveled his chair to face her as she leaned with one hip against the railing. "Are you going to order me relieved, Captain?"
"I'd rather not have to."
He looked out at the stars streaking past the Flyer as it carved out its search grid, then turned back to her with a tortured expression twisting his features. "I don't expect you to sit idly by. Why do you expect me to?"
"I don't," she assured him. "But neither of us can do any good when we're exhausted."
He stared at her for a long time, then nodded in resignation. "Fine." He rose, surrendering the helm to her. "I'll go get some sleep."
She placed her hand on the back of the pilot's seat, preparing to take over. "Thank you."
"If you'll do the same when I get back."
She was silent for a few moments, then nodded her agreement. He started to move past her, but she stopped him as he drew alongside her with a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find them, Tom."
He looked down at the floor. "Yeah."
She squeezed his shoulder. "Tom." He drew his eyes upwards to meet hers. "We'll find them."
With an absentminded nod, he turned and moved towards the rear of the Flyer. The captain watched him go, concern swimming in her blue eyes. Then, with a sigh, she took a seat in front of the controls and began monitoring their progress along the search grid.
She lost track of time as her eyes followed wave after wave of sensor sweeps, so she was startled when Lieutenant Nicoletti spoke from behind her.
"Any sign of them?"
"Not yet." She glanced over her shoulder with a frown. "You should be resting, Lieutenant."
"I'm fine."
"Is that your opinion, or Tom's?"
Her eyes darted to the floor and back, giving her away, but she met the captain's gaze without flinching. "I need to do something, Captain. I can't just lay on that bunk all day trying not to think about what might have happened to them."
The captain scrutinized her, then nodded as he turned back to the helm. "Take your station, Lieutenant."
"Yes, ma'am."
"And see if you can't increase the sensitivity of our long-range sensors."
"Aye, Captain."
.....
Harry approached the helm but Captain Janeway remained facing the viewscreen. He waited for several moments, sure she had heard him, but she gave no sign that she was aware of his presence.
"Any sign of them?" he asked, anticipating the answer.
"No."
A pause. Then, "Do you want me to take over?"
"I'm fine."
Another long silence ensued, broken only by the intermittent noise of the computer running continuous scans along the search grid.
Harry cleared his throat. "Captain, about what happened on the planet --"
"We've got more important things to worry about, Harry."
"A few days might make the difference whether we find them in time or not."
"Maybe. But we have no way of knowing, and there's no point in dwelling on it."
He scrutinized her, and though unable to see her expression he had an uncanny sense of what was going through her mind. "It's not your fault, Captain."
She remained with her back to him, but the motion of her hands across the controls slowed and then stopped.
Harry took a few steps towards her. "Whatever's happened to them... even if you had stayed on Voyager, you might not have been able to prevent it."
Closing her eyes, she was glad that he couldn't see the tortured expression she was unable to conceal.
He waited, hoping she would answer, but as the seconds ticked by, marked by the steady beeping of the computer, he sighed and turned away. She remained staring into the empty space in front of the shuttle, a hollow, haunted expression in her eyes.
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58381.6. Our third week of searching has been no more productive than our first. We've picked up several Borg cubes on long range sensors, but so far they don't appear to have detected us.
Captain Janeway descended the stairs into the hold and saw Tom sitting on one of the bunks, sunk into the shadows. She glanced over at the opposite bunk, but Lieutenant Nicoletti was sleeping.
She took a seat next to Tom and rested a comforting hand on his knee. She tried to think of something to say, but noticed the fluffy object he had clenched in his fists.
"Miral's," he said quietly, squeezing the stuffed Panda. "I found it in my bag. She... she wouldn't let me leave without it."
She patted his knee reassuringly. "Tom, we --"
He jumped to his feet, the toy still tightly clutched in one fist. "I shouldn't have left them."
"We don't know --"
"It's been almost two months since we left, Captain," he snapped, in evident anguish. "A lot can go wrong in two months, in the middle of Borg space, and who knows what kind of condition the ship was in."
"We shouldn't assume the worst." She looked down at her boots, willing herself to believe her own words. "I know you wouldn't have come on this mission unless you thought it was what was best for the ship." A deep breath helped to steady her. "They're out there somewhere, and we're going to find them."
"Do you really believe that?" he asked in a tremulous, desperate voice.
She lifted her eyes and met his penetrating stare. "I have to."
.....
Captain Janeway's breathing was shallow and ragged as she circled Voyager's bridge. The flashlight strapped to her wrist carved out an uneven, trembling path as it swept the floor, traveling over debris and the motionless corpses of her crew.
A pair of drones were sprawled in front of the viewscreen. An ensign whose name escaped her was crumpled at the foot of the helm, crimson streaks of blood through her blonde hair.
Her flashlight swept upwards, finding more bodies as she moved towards the rear of the bridge. She approached the security console, the beam of light extending in front of her shaking as she looked behind it to find Tuvok sprawled lifelessly against the wall, his uniform caked with blood and a large gash across his chest. Two Borg drones were laying in a heap at his feet. Doubtless he had fought them to his last breath.
She knelt next to him and gently closed his unseeing eyes. She rested an unsteady hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Tuvok," she whispered.
She gasped as his eyes snapped open and he grabbed her hand with an iron grip.
"Captain," he said hoarsely, his breathing laboured.
"Tuvok," she said, recovering from her shock and grabbing him by the shoulders. "The crew, the ship! What happened?"
"They are all... dead...."
"What happened?"
"You... abandoned us, Captain."
She released her grip on his shoulders. "No, I --"
"Captain?"
The bridge of Voyager evaporated as her eyes snapped open. The bodies of her crew were gone and all she could see was the dull grey base of the bunk above her.
Her heart still pounding, she looked over to see Harry kneeling next to her, his hand on her shoulder. "Captain? Are you all right?"
She groggily pressed her hand to her forehead as if trying to force out the lingering images from her nightmare. "I'm fine, just a little... disoriented. What is it?"
He frowned uncertainly. "You asked me to wake you after four hours."
She sat up slowly and swung her feet off the edge of the bunk. "Has it been four hours already?" It seemed only moments ago that she had collapsed onto the bunk, exhausted.
"Actually, it's been six," he said, offering his hand to assist her to her feet. When she shot him an accusing glare, he added, "I thought you could use the extra sleep."
She let it pass as they made their way up the stairs towards the main cabin. "Report."
"Nothing new." He sighed. "No warp signature, no ion trail, no comm signal. Nothing."
The captain massaged the side of her head as she reached the tactical station. Tom was at the helm but appeared occupied with his own thoughts and didn't turn around or acknowledge them. "Go get some sleep, Harry," she said finally.
He hesitated, started to turn away, but then reconsidered and faced her again. "Captain..." he began, keeping his voice low.
She anticipated him. "We haven't found debris, or any sign that they were attacked by the Borg."
"We haven't found any sign that they're all right, either."
She had no response to that, and had to turn away to keep him from seeing the doubt she was sure was written in her eyes. "Get some rest, Harry," she repeated.
He started to turn away, but paused and after a few moments abruptly faced her again.
"Captain..." He took an audible deep breath. "We're all thinking the same thing, no matter how hard we're trying not to."
Her hands stopped their motion across the tactical console but she kept her back to him.
"I know how much it would take to stop me from trying to find the Flyer, if I were on Voyager. It's been over a month since we arrived at the rendezvous, and we haven't found any sign of them." He paused, but she made no move to answer. "At some point, we have to consider the possibility that we're not going to."
"I'm not prepared to give up. We'll keep looking."
"For how long?"
She clenched her jaw and stared fixedly out the front of the Flyer. "As long as it takes."
.....
Captain's Personal Log, Stardate 58396.9. Despite my best efforts, I've found it difficult to put Harry's comments out of my mind. Part of me knows he has a point, but the rest of me isn't willing to admit defeat yet. I refuse to give up hope that Voyager is safe and sound somewhere, and I'm not ready to face abandoning them.
Lieutenant Nicoletti looked up as Harry entered the hold, her hands fluttering anxiously clasped above her knees. Harry paused when he saw her, but after a moment he descended the final few steps and moved towards her, taking a seat on the opposite bunk.
"How are you doing?"
"My head still feels like it's in the middle of a continuous warp breach, but otherwise I'm fine."
"That's not... I meant, how are you holding up?"
"Do you really think we should give up hope?"
He frowned. "What makes you think I've given up?"
"I can see it in your eyes."
He sighed and his gaze sought the refuge of the tops of his boots. "I haven't... not entirely, at least. But we can't ignore the possibility that we're not going to find them."
She got a hollow, cold look in her eyes and her hands began trembling again. "I used to think Voyager was alone out here... seems like nothing, now."
A heavy silence fell, broken after an unbearably long period by Harry. "What would you do, if it was your decision to make?"
"What?"
"Stay out here, looking for Voyager, or start heading for the Alpha Quadrant."
She looked down at the floor. "I always hated the Kobayashi Maru simulation at the Academy," she said after a few moments. "Took it six times before I passed. I almost dropped out." She sighed. "I always complained to my brothers that it was unfair; that no decision, no situation could actually be that bad. Guess I was wrong."
He looked away and regretted his question. "Are your brothers in Starfleet, too?" he asked, trying to change the subject.
"All three of them." She smiled despite herself. "When we were young, my brothers could always jump the highest, and run the fastest. Then they all entered the Academy, and I decided that they weren't going to beat me again. That I was going to be the one who discovered the most new species, charted the most systems, and traveled the farthest." Her expression saddened. "And I guess I have. Lucky me, huh? I bet my nieces and nephews that I've never met get to hear all about their Aunt Sue, the great explorer."
He smiled sadly and squeezed her shoulder. "Just imagine how excited they'll be to meet you if we get home."
She looked up at him, a mixture of surprise and sadness in her eyes at his choice of words.
He sobered and his hand dropped from her arm with a sigh. "Listen, I should..."
"Yeah."
"They could use my help up there."
"Go, Harry. It's okay."
He rose and headed towards the bridge without looking at her. Her eyes followed him up the stairs until he was out of sight, then she laid back on the bunk with her arms behind her head and stared off into nothingness.
.....
"Captain?"
The light stung her eyes as she sluggishly forced them open. She sat up slowly with a frown and combed her fingers through her disheveled hair. "What time is it?" she muttered.
"O400," replied Tom. "We've found something you should see."
Instantly awake, she followed him up the stairs to the main cabin. "Report," she demanded as they reached the science station where Harry and Lieutenant Nicoletti were bent over a display.
"Sensors picked up some debris," said Harry. "We altered course to take a closer look. The alloy composition is definitely Federation." He handed her a charred piece of metal with jagged edges. With a sinking feeling in her stomach she brushed away the soot with her thumb and made out the letters USS V.
"Is it...?"
"Too small," said Tom immediately. "Even for a shuttlecraft."
"A probe?"
"Or a message beacon," agreed Harry.
"Is there any chance of recovering its telemetry or data?"
"That's the biggest piece we found," replied Lieutenant Nicoletti.
She turned the metal shard over in her hand, tracing the rough incinerated edge with one finger. "I suppose I don't need to ask what caused this."
"We detected traces of a Borg weapons signature," confirmed Harry.
Her expression was unreadable as she cleared more of the blackened dust covering the letters.
"This could mean they tried to contact us," said Tom. "To explain why they were delayed."
"Only the Borg found it before we did," added Nicoletti.
"Let's just hope they don't find Voyager before us, too," said Harry grimly.
"It's a start," said the captain. "I want this area combed with every sensor we've got. See if you can determine what direction this came from." She fingered the scorched lettering. "It could be our only shot at finding them."
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58402.4. We're now entering the twenty-fifth day of our search for Voyager. It's been almost two months since I set foot on my bridge: the longest absence of my command. We've found nothing new since our discovery of the wrecked probe. I'm unsure whether to take it as a sign of hope that Voyager attempted to contact us, or whether the probe's destruction forebodes a similar fate for Voyager. Only time will tell.
The distinctive beep from the helm called the attention of all four of the Delta Flyer's occupants simultaneously. They had become accustomed to the routine and futile noises emitted by the constant sensor sweeps, and they recognized the difference instantly.
Within seconds, Tom's fingers were deftly moving over the controls. "It's an ion trail."
Harry was also quickly pulling up more detailed scans. "Analyzing...."
The sounds in the cabin seemed to vanish as they waited for a few unbearable seconds.
"It's Voyager's," he announced triumphantly.
Captain Janeway closed her eyes briefly and sighed in momentary relief. "Scan for a warp signature nearby," she said, forcing herself back into the present.
"I'm not picking up one," said Lieutenant Nicoletti.
"They must have had trouble with the warp drive," said Tom.
"Can you tell how old it is, Harry?"
He frowned. "There's a lot of decay and interference... best guess, it's at least fifty days old."
The captain quickly worked backwards. "That would be... our first week of dilithium mining. They should have been on the way to the rendezvous."
"Unless they were limited to impulse, with the Borg closing in," said Nicoletti.
Captain Janeway's eyes narrowed as she thought through the situation. "They couldn't make it to the rendezvous, they couldn't outrun the Borg.... they took the only available option."
"They launched a beacon and looked for cover," finished Harry in understanding as she met his gaze.
"Tom, start scanning for nearby systems they could have used to hide from the Borg."
"Aye, Captain."
"Fifty days is a long time to stay hidden," observed Harry. "They wouldn't get very far on impulse."
Captain Janeway pressed her lips into a tight line and tried to conceal the fact that the same thought had just crossed her mind.
.....
Captain's Log, Delta Flyer, Stardate 58411.2. We've tracked Voyager's ion trail over three hundred billion kilometers without finding any further trace of them; I'm now absolutely convinced that their warp drive was offline. Adding to my increasing unease, we've detected signs of recent Borg activity along the same course but so far no sign of a battle.
"Captain? We're coming up on the red dwarf system."
She nodded without looking up at the helm. "Drop us to one half impulse."
A massive red sun appeared in the distance on the viewscreen, circled by several visible planets.
Her eyes roamed the viewscreen, hoping against reason to see Voyager sailing towards them unharmed, but she found nothing but the stars and planets. "Start scanning for any sign of them," she ordered, swallowing her bitter disappointment.
"There are five planets and two moons," said Harry. "None of them M-class."
Captain Janeway leaned forward, elbows resting on her console as she massaged her temples in a vain attempt to stop the incessant pounding in her head. She scrutinized the readouts, her frustration slowly and inexorably building. Think, Kathryn. Think, dammit! You're crippled, without warp, and the Borg are on your tail. You've limped to this system... now where do you hide?
"Captain?"
She looked up at Tom's urgent tone. "What is it?"
When he didn't turn around, she looked past him outside the shuttle. The Flyer was drawing closer to a gas giant, a blue and grey swirl of vapours surrounded by several luminescent rings. As they rounded the planet, something else was coming into view: Voyager, in an equatorial orbit above the planet's rings. The hull was blackened and scorched, and a hull breach low on the saucer section was visible even from a distance. No lights were visible, and one of the nacelles appeared badly damaged.
"Hail them," she snapped urgently.
Tom slowly reached forward and opened a channel. "Voyager, this is the Delta Flyer. Do you read?"
The only reply was static.
"Delta Flyer to Voyager," he repeated, his voice straining. "Please respond."
The seconds ticked by slowly as they waited with baited breath for what seemed like an eternity before there was a crackle over the comm.
We read you, Delta Flyer, came Chakotay's voice. Welcome home.
"You're a sight for sore eyes," replied Tom ecstatically.
The feeling's mutual. We're opening the shuttle bay doors.
"Acknowledged."
Tom angled the Flyer into a smooth approach. As Voyager's stern loomed larger, they could see more signs of recent damage. A heavy silence fell in the cabin as they impatiently waited for Tom to guide the small vessel to the entrance of the shuttle bay. They glided smoothly through the doors and set down with a quiet thump.
Captain Janeway leaned back in her chair and heaved a deep sigh. She sat there for a few moments, basking in relief, before she roused herself and moved with quick steps towards the rear of the Flyer.
She moved slowly down the ramp, stepping almost gingerly onto the cargo bay floor as though afraid it were an apparition that would vanish without warning. Her sigh of relief was audible when she felt Voyager's solid bulkheads under the soles of her Starfleet-issue boots once again.
The sound of Harry and Lieutenant Nicoletti exiting the Flyer from behind her drew her from her thoughts and she took in her surroundings. The shuttle bay showed signs of recent battle damage, with far more loose conduits, missing bulkheads, and exposed wiring than when she had last set foot here. The doors leading to the corridor were too warped to shut properly and remained wedged in a half-open position which allowed her to see Chakotay and the EMH before they reached the shuttle bay.
She hadn't believed that she had given up hope of finding Voyager, but the flood of emotions that rushed at her upon seeing them made her realize that she hadn't expected to see any of her crew again.
"Captain," said Chakotay simply as they met halfway into the shuttle bay.
"Commander."
"You're late," he said, his voice rougher than usual.
"We got a little lost," she replied in a near whisper. She took a deep breath, allowing some of her exhilaration and relief to show through her expression. She reached out and rested her hand on the side of his arm. "It's good to see you, Chakotay."
"You too, Kathryn."
She saw three engineers enter the shuttle bay behind Chakotay. "There are twenty-one canisters of dilithium in the Flyer's hold," she informed them as they approached. "Get them to Engineering; I think it's time we got underway again."
"Yes, ma'am," replied Ensign Ashmore.
She glanced over her shoulder and saw Tom emerge from the Flyer as Ashmore and the others began to organize transporting the dilithium, then turned and began walking with Chakotay towards the corridor.
"What happened?" she asked as she climbed over the debris in the doorway.
"We were attacked by the Borg three days after you left. We managed to find a hole in their shields long enough to beam a photon torpedo right on top of their reactor core, but not before they took out our warp drive." They ducked to avoid a fallen beam."There were three cubes and two spheres on long-range sensors, so we launched the message beacon and focused on trying to avoid another assault until you returned."
"Casualties?"
"None. We were lucky."
"Hm."
They stopped at the turbolift. "How long did it take for you to get our message?"
She looked steadily ahead at the turbolift doors. "We didn't," she said tersely.
The doors opened and she stepped inside, but he remained fixed in place, staring at her with a confused expression. "If you didn't find the beacon... how did you know where to look for us?"
She stared at him for a long pause before answering. "We found the beacon in pieces, over thirty lightyears from the rendezvous coordinates. We managed to pick up your ion trail and it led us here."
He looked at her with surprise, his expression darkening as he realized what the situation must have looked like from her perspective.
She avoided meeting his gaze and he joined her in the turbolift.
"Bridge," she ordered as the doors hissed shut. They stood listening to the pulsing hum of the lift for several decks before she spoke again. "What happened after you launched the beacon?"
"We set a course for this system as fast as the impulse engines would take us. We had a few close calls, but we made it and went into orbit above the rings -- they have a high concentration of duranium and block us from all but the most detailed sensor scans."
She nodded and they fell into silence again.
"Deck three took some heavy damage, but your quarters are still intact."
"Good."
The turbolift slowed to a halt. He took a step forward, but she put a hand on his arm. "Chakotay..."
He turned and looked at her with a quizzical expression.
"Thank you," she said, her hand still lingering on his sleeve.
He frowned. "For what?"
"For keeping them safe."
"Always, Kathryn."
"I know. But thank you, all the same."
He nodded, and they stepped out of the turbolift. "Captain on the bridge," he announced.
.....
B'Elanna glanced up from her console as she usually did whenever the doors to Main Engineering opened, but her gaze returned to her console for only a fraction of a second before she looked up again. Ashmore, Tabor, and Yosa were maneuvering two anti-grav units loaded with large cannisters through the doorway towards the warp core.
The PADD in her hand dropped to the console with a clatter as she stepped towards the door, moving slowly at first and then with increasing urgency.
"Looks to be at least 500 kilos of raw ore, Lieutenant," reported Ashmore as she neared them. "Even once it's refined, it'll be more than enough to get the engines going again."
"We've got the refining equipment set up already," she said tersely. "Get started as soon as possible."
"Yes, ma'am."
They started to move past her, but she grabbed Tabor by the sleeve. "Where's Tom?" she demanded. "Have you seen him?"
Tabor nodded. "He asked me to tell you he'll be right behind us."
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah, he seemed fine." He shrugged. "He said he just had something to take care of first."
.....
Tom entered his quarters and tossed his bag on the floor inside the doorway as he looked around with a contented smile. He only had to wait for a few seconds before he heard the telltale scurrying of feet approaching from the adjacent room.
"Daddy!"
Miral streaked toward him as fast as her legs could carry her. He knelt down and swept her up as she bowled into him.
"Hey, kiddo," he said softly, squeezing her against his chest. "Didja miss me?"
.....
The chime of the ready room door sounded oddly out of tune among the notes of a Vivaldi sonata wafting through the room.
Captain Janeway looked up from the ship's log entries she was reviewing. "Computer, pause music." She set down her PADD. "Come in," she called in the direction of the door.
The doors hissed open to reveal Tuvok. He glanced around the room, taking in the charred beams exposed in the ceiling and the pile of panels and debris swept into one corner. "Am I disturbing you, Captain?"
"Not at all."
"I expected to find you in your quarters at this hour."
"My quarters didn't weather my absence particularly well." She gestured to the surrounding chaos. "This is actually an improvement."
As he approached, she could see he was carrying a series of PADDs. "The relevant ship reports from the past two months," he explained as she extended a hand without rising from her chair and took them.
As she glanced over them, he added, "I suspected that you would not be at ease until you were caught up with ship's business."
"You know me too well, Tuvok." Her slight smile faded as she read over the damage reports and repair plans. "Sometimes I wonder what's holding this ship together besides sheer force of will," she sighed.
"Voyager's condition in light of the damage it has sustained during our time in the Delta Quadrant is, indeed, surprising."
"That it is. You were lucky to have avoided a more serious confrontation with the Borg," she said, frowning as she read the details of the report.
"As were you, Captain."
"We weren't crippled."
"Still, it is likely that even a small Borg vessel could have overpowered the Delta Flyer."
"You're forgetting we had the transphasic torpedoes."
"I am not. They are, however, still untested against a Borg vessel."
"Then I guess we're lucky we didn't have to find out the hard way. This time, at least," she added.
"Indeed." He rose to his feet. "I will leave you to your work, Captain."
"Thank you."
He nodded and turned to leave, and she returned to perusing the damage reports. A few moments later, she looked up just as he had reached her door. "Tuvok?"
He stopped and faced her with his usual Vulcan stoicism.
She lowered the PADD, resting it on her knees. "Did Commander Chakotay..."
As usual, he knew her thoughts whether she spoke them aloud or not. "He informed me of your orders in the event the Delta Flyer failed to return."
She nodded and looked away from his penetrating stare. "I see," she said simply.
"I would have found it... difficult... to follow such an order."
Her eyes were drawn back to him, warmth radiating from the blue orbs as a slight smile pulled at the corner of her lips in light of his subtle testimony of affection. "You did it once before," she observed.
"I disobeyed that order."
"True." She sighed and stood, moving to join him at the doorway. "I gave Chakotay that order because I didn't want you to waste time and put the crew at risk looking for us if we went missing... if we hadn't shown up at the rendezvous, chances are that it would have been because we'd been assimilated or killed."
"And yet you chose to search for Voyager at your own peril."
"What's that Vulcan saying? 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'? Risking a crew of four to save a crew of a hundred and forty should seem logical even to you, Tuvok."
"I believe the reverse would seem logical to most of those one hundred and forty crewmembers as well, Captain, where you are concerned."
"Probably, but it's not their call to make." She rested her hand familiarly on his arm. "You know I trust you and Chakotay to get my ship and my crew home if anything ever happened to me... come Hell or high water or Borg."
Something flickered across his expression momentarily, but it was gone before she could identify it. In anyone else she would have called it guilt, but she knew Tuvok well enough to discount that possibility.
"It is... good to have you back, Captain," he said finally.
She smiled. "It's good to be back."
"Goodnight, Captain."
"Goodnight."
He stepped through the ready room doors as they swished open, and as they slid shut again with a hiss a frown creased her features and she stared at the spot where she had last seen him for a very long time, trying vainly to determine what she had sensed that seemed out of place. She struggled fruitlessly, however, and shaking off the sensation she moved back towards the couch by the windows and resumed her inspection of the reports he had brought.
"Computer, resume music."
......
A smile broke out on Lieutenant Nicoletti's face as she saw Harry approaching her across Sickbay. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."
"Not enjoying your quality time with the Doc?"
"I'd just like to get back to my own quarters." She registered his guilty expression and sat back with a thump on the inclined biobed. "Don't tell me..." she groaned.
"Life support's down on deck eight," he admitted. "Chakotay said he'll arrange for you to share quarters with someone until we get it repaired."
"So much for being back in my own bed."
"It'll be my first priority after we get the essential repairs out of the way, I promise."
"Thanks."
"Anytime."
He turned to leave, but she called after him when he was halfway to the door. "Harry?"
When he turned around, her eyes remained fixed on her hands clasped in her lap for several seconds before she raised her gaze to meet his. "I never thanked you. For saving my life. If you hadn't pulled me away when you did, I would've been a permanent fixture of that debris."
He glanced away uneasily. "You wouldn't have been down there in the first place if I hadn't made you come with me."
"You didn't make me do anything." She smiled. "You were right. I did agree with you."
......
Captain's Log, Stardate 58497.3. Lieutenant Torres has succeeded in restoring our warp drive and key systems, along with the most serious damage Voyager has sustained over the past few months. We've left orbit and have resumed a course for the Alpha Quadrant at maximum warp. I think most of the crew is resting easier now that we're no longer a virtually defenseless target for the Borg, but I am determined to remain vigilant until we've put their space behind us for good... whenever that may be.
The scuffed and dirty toes of Harry Kim's Starfleet-issue boots crossed the threshold tentatively, treading on unfamiliar territory. Captain Janeway's quarters were disordered, a pile of rubble stacked against the wall and personal items piled haphazardly in another. A cursory sweep of the room suggested it to be empty until he heard a clang that was accompanied by a piece of bulkhead sailing from under the desk towards the debris piled against the opposite wall.
"You wanted to see me, Captain?"
Captain Janeway's head appeared from under her desk, her hair in disarray and her forehead streaked with a mixture of dirt and sweat. "Harry. Come in."
He took two steps towards her and stopped again.
"I'd offer you some coffee, or even a clean place to sit, but..." Her arm swung as she spoke, the arc of her hand encompassing her darkened replicator and overturned, blackened chairs.
"Was there something you needed repaired?" he asked, still at a loss to understand his presence in her quarters.
"No, just trying to get my quarters livable again," she said, tossing a stray piece of conduit into the growing junk pile as she moved out from behind the desk. "Seems like I've had to do this every month for the past.... well, suffice it to say I'm beginning to think I should just move into the ready room. Not that it's in much better shape."
Harry raised an eyebrow and remained fixed in place as he waited for an explanation for his summons.
The captain moved around her desk, rummaging around a toppled stack of PADDs. Finding her object, she held up a small box that fit in the palm of her hand. She blew on it, causing a swirl of heavy dust to lift off its surface, then rubbed it with her fingers in an effort to polish it. Her hands, however, were just as soiled as the small box and the end result was essentially a smearing of the layer of dirt covering the lid.
"I've been waiting for a good time to give you this," she began, approaching him with the box, studying it intently. She tapped the lid with one finger, then extended it towards him. "But then I realized, there's no time like the present."
He took the box gingerly, turning it over in his hands.
"Open it," she prompted.
Grasping the box with both hands, he wedged the lid open, stiff from dust in the hinges. Sitting inside on a cushion of slick black material was a single gold-plated pip.
It felt like only a few seconds that he stared at it, mesmerized, but it must have been longer since the captain stepped forward and grasped the pip, affixing it to his collar. She affectionately brushed a smear of dust off his shoulder. "Congratulations, Lieutenant."
He finally looked up from the now empty box in his hands. "Captain, I..." He swallowed. "I thought, after what happened on the away mission..."
"You made a mistake, and hopefully you learned from it." Her hand, still on his shoulder, gave a reassuring squeeze. "Lessons like that are what are going to make you a fine captain someday."
He rested his hand on top of hers. "Thank you, Captain."
"You've earned it, Harry." She turned back to the destruction overpowering her living area. "Now, Lieutenant, how about giving your captain a hand in discovering what's become of her couch?"
He smiled. "Yes, ma'am."
.....