Sunny skies
Are cloudy to me
Black sad as can be confusing
We're not doin' all right Happy smile
Has turned in reverse
Before work I must rehearse you Not doin' all right
*'Cause I've got an upset stomach
From a broken heart
A tear stained pillow
From my crying eyes
A migraine headache
That just won't go away
Stevie Wonder- Upset Stomach
Manny didn't go to school the rest of the week. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Everyone would ask her questions and make a fuss over how terrible she must feel. Instead Manny became a couch potato. She watched cheesy soap opera's all day long and thought of Emma and all the fun they used to have. Craig stopped by to visit her a few times, trying to convince her to come back to school. Manny only shook her head and soon he stopped trying to persuade her.
Emma's funeral was probably the worst day of Manny's life. It meant that everything was real. That Emma was really gone. Seeing her lifeless and pale in a coffin was a big slap in the face. Manny had passed out and awaken in her living room, on her couch. Manny's mother was stroking her hair lovingly.
At first when Manny woke up she was happy. 'It was all a dream,' she had thought. She looked around the house calling out for Emma, knowing she'd be there. Manny's mother had looked at her sadly and began to cry as she told her daughter, "No, Manuela, she's gone. Emma is gone, honey. I'm sorry." Manny had run from her then. She ran up to her room and slammed the door. Tears streamed down her face as she screamed back down at her mother, "No! She's not dead! Why are you lying to me? She's not dead!" She had thrown herself on the bed, where she now lay.
It was Sunday, the day after the funeral. Manny stared mindlessly at a picture of her and Emma at an ice cream shop. Emma was smiling widely into the camera. There was strawberry ice cream on the tip of her nose. Manny had seen the ice cream and instead of telling Emma she had laughed while Emma, unknowingly, posed for the picture taken by Emma's mom. Manny smiled to herself, remembering the way Emma had started yelling and laughing when Manny told her about the ice cream afterwards.
Sighing, Manny went to straighten out her backpack to get ready for school. She had decided to go this week. Another day at home watching soap opera's and crying her eyes out weren't going to help anything. Besides, she knew she wasn't the only one who missed Emma. Tons of kids from Degrassi had shown up for the funeral. Manny had ignored them, though. She knew it would be easier if she let them help her, but she didn't want any help. She just wanted to be left alone.
She heard a soft knock on her door, which was followed by her mom's voice.
"Manuela, I have some dinner here for you," her mom said softly.
"I'm not hungry," Manny said back. She threw herself on her bed and pulled her thick, blue quilt around her.
"But Manny, you haven't eaten all week!" her mother protested. Manny couldn't see her mother since the door was closed, but she knew her mother well enough to know that she was crying, even if she was trying to sound cheerful.
"I said I'm NOT hungry!" Manny yelled at her. She didn't care about hurting her mother's feelings anymore. Why couldn't everyone just go away and stop worrying about her? She heard her mother sniff and walk away, her footsteps echoing in the halls. Manny closed her eyes, holding back tears that were threatening to pour. Why did she treat her mother that way? Why didn't she care anymore? Manny thought of at least one million things she could've done differently in the past few years of her life that would have probably made her life better. 'If only I knew then, what I know now,' she thought sadly as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I know what happened may be hard for you all to deal with," Mr. Simpson said in class that Monday. He was, of course, talking about Emma. Manny stared hard at her computer, willing herself not to think about it or listen to what Mr. Simpson was saying. Try as hard as she might, she still heard every word. "But we have to deal with it together. It'll make it easier. Any thing you're feeling on the subject you should tell."
"Subject!" J.T. said angrily. "Emma's death isn't some 'subject'! She KILLED herself! How can you just talk about this like it's an everyday thing? How?" At this point J.T. was crying and so were a few other people.
Mr. Simpson nodded sadly. "I'm sorry," he said. "I really should have said that differently. It's just.... it's hard for me, too. I wasn't just her teacher. I was her stepfather, too." Mr. Simpson stared at the floor, blinking rapidly. Manny knew he was fighting back tears.
"I'm sorry, too, Mr. Simpson," J.T. said, looking sympathetically at his teacher. Mr. Simpson nodded.
"Mr. Simpson?" someone called out. Manny turned to see Liberty with her hand in the air.
"Yes, Liberty?"
"I was wondering, if I uh," Liberty stumbled for words, her hands clasping and unclasping nervously. Never in her life did Manny think she'd see Liberty struggling for words. But it didn't really surprise her. Nothing surprised her anymore.
"What is it, Liberty," Mr. Simpson asked curiously.
"Well, if it's ok with everyone, I was wondering if I could do a sort of documentary on Emma. I would interview people to see how they felt about Emma and suicide. That way, people who never knew Emma before would know what a great person she was and people who were considering suicide would know how stupid it was take your own life. They would see how it affected everyone she was close to and maybe they would think twice. A kind of tribute to Emma and a warning to those thinking about suicide. I mean, that is, if it's ok with everybody." Liberty looked meekly around the room, waiting for someone to say something. At first, everyone was silent, thinking hard about what Liberty had just said. Then someone spoke.
"I, uh, I think that would be a good idea, Liberty," Manny said, smiling slightly. Liberty's eyes lit up. Slowly, everyone in the room begin agreeing that it would be a good idea.
"Okay, Liberty," Mr. Simpson said. "You have everyone's consent to do a documentary on Emma." Liberty smiled and looked at Manny.
"I won't let you down, I promise," she said. Manny nodded gratefully.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey, Manny, wait up!" Liberty called to Manny as the last bell sounded, signaling the end of school. Manny had been on her way out of school, but stopped to wait for Liberty.
"Hey, Liberty," she said, smiling a bit. Liberty smiled back.
"I was wondering," Liberty began, "if you'd be my first interview? I think it would really mean something if we started it out with the victi- Emma's best friend."
Manny thought for a while. Then she shook her head. "I don't think so," she said, sadly. "I, uh, I don't really want to talk about it yet."
"Oh," Liberty said disappointed. "Ok, I'll find someone else then." She smiled understandingly at Manny. "I was hoping I could have either you, Sean or Toby. Toby won't talk to anybody, though. Have you seen him? He's a zombie. Not even J.T. can get through to him. And Sean..... well, I heard right after you told them what happened to Emma he went into some kinda breakdown. He started throwing things and screaming and crying. The cops had to come to school and get him. He hasn't been back to school since. I hope he's alright. Well, I have to go. See you!" Liberty smiled again at Manny, before walking in the opposite direction to go home.
Manny thought hard about what Liberty had said. Poor Toby.... Poor Sean. Manny knew she'd have to go and talk to him. 'Not today, though,' she thought to herself. 'I'm not strong enough to do it today...'
A/N: Now tell me, is the story getting better or worse??? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!! Lolz. K, for the people who keep asking, Emma's reason for suicide and depression (which are the same thing) will come near or @ the end of the story. Not quite sure yet. It will definitely be a surprise and a shock to everyone, though. Someone led her to doing it. Who, you ask. Keep reading to find out! I know the suspense is killing you and I just love torturing people. ::evil grin:: lolz. REVIEW!!!! -Kris xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
P.S. Next chapter will be more on Liberty and her interview. Her first real interview will be Jimmy, though I think I'll make it to where she hears random students opinion, before really having the interview. Who's she interviewing after Jimmy? Why Spinner of course! But he's still another chapter away. And trust me, his interview will be very..... unSpinner-ish! Keep reading to find out what I mean. Love you all!
Are cloudy to me
Black sad as can be confusing
We're not doin' all right Happy smile
Has turned in reverse
Before work I must rehearse you Not doin' all right
*'Cause I've got an upset stomach
From a broken heart
A tear stained pillow
From my crying eyes
A migraine headache
That just won't go away
Stevie Wonder- Upset Stomach
Manny didn't go to school the rest of the week. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Everyone would ask her questions and make a fuss over how terrible she must feel. Instead Manny became a couch potato. She watched cheesy soap opera's all day long and thought of Emma and all the fun they used to have. Craig stopped by to visit her a few times, trying to convince her to come back to school. Manny only shook her head and soon he stopped trying to persuade her.
Emma's funeral was probably the worst day of Manny's life. It meant that everything was real. That Emma was really gone. Seeing her lifeless and pale in a coffin was a big slap in the face. Manny had passed out and awaken in her living room, on her couch. Manny's mother was stroking her hair lovingly.
At first when Manny woke up she was happy. 'It was all a dream,' she had thought. She looked around the house calling out for Emma, knowing she'd be there. Manny's mother had looked at her sadly and began to cry as she told her daughter, "No, Manuela, she's gone. Emma is gone, honey. I'm sorry." Manny had run from her then. She ran up to her room and slammed the door. Tears streamed down her face as she screamed back down at her mother, "No! She's not dead! Why are you lying to me? She's not dead!" She had thrown herself on the bed, where she now lay.
It was Sunday, the day after the funeral. Manny stared mindlessly at a picture of her and Emma at an ice cream shop. Emma was smiling widely into the camera. There was strawberry ice cream on the tip of her nose. Manny had seen the ice cream and instead of telling Emma she had laughed while Emma, unknowingly, posed for the picture taken by Emma's mom. Manny smiled to herself, remembering the way Emma had started yelling and laughing when Manny told her about the ice cream afterwards.
Sighing, Manny went to straighten out her backpack to get ready for school. She had decided to go this week. Another day at home watching soap opera's and crying her eyes out weren't going to help anything. Besides, she knew she wasn't the only one who missed Emma. Tons of kids from Degrassi had shown up for the funeral. Manny had ignored them, though. She knew it would be easier if she let them help her, but she didn't want any help. She just wanted to be left alone.
She heard a soft knock on her door, which was followed by her mom's voice.
"Manuela, I have some dinner here for you," her mom said softly.
"I'm not hungry," Manny said back. She threw herself on her bed and pulled her thick, blue quilt around her.
"But Manny, you haven't eaten all week!" her mother protested. Manny couldn't see her mother since the door was closed, but she knew her mother well enough to know that she was crying, even if she was trying to sound cheerful.
"I said I'm NOT hungry!" Manny yelled at her. She didn't care about hurting her mother's feelings anymore. Why couldn't everyone just go away and stop worrying about her? She heard her mother sniff and walk away, her footsteps echoing in the halls. Manny closed her eyes, holding back tears that were threatening to pour. Why did she treat her mother that way? Why didn't she care anymore? Manny thought of at least one million things she could've done differently in the past few years of her life that would have probably made her life better. 'If only I knew then, what I know now,' she thought sadly as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I know what happened may be hard for you all to deal with," Mr. Simpson said in class that Monday. He was, of course, talking about Emma. Manny stared hard at her computer, willing herself not to think about it or listen to what Mr. Simpson was saying. Try as hard as she might, she still heard every word. "But we have to deal with it together. It'll make it easier. Any thing you're feeling on the subject you should tell."
"Subject!" J.T. said angrily. "Emma's death isn't some 'subject'! She KILLED herself! How can you just talk about this like it's an everyday thing? How?" At this point J.T. was crying and so were a few other people.
Mr. Simpson nodded sadly. "I'm sorry," he said. "I really should have said that differently. It's just.... it's hard for me, too. I wasn't just her teacher. I was her stepfather, too." Mr. Simpson stared at the floor, blinking rapidly. Manny knew he was fighting back tears.
"I'm sorry, too, Mr. Simpson," J.T. said, looking sympathetically at his teacher. Mr. Simpson nodded.
"Mr. Simpson?" someone called out. Manny turned to see Liberty with her hand in the air.
"Yes, Liberty?"
"I was wondering, if I uh," Liberty stumbled for words, her hands clasping and unclasping nervously. Never in her life did Manny think she'd see Liberty struggling for words. But it didn't really surprise her. Nothing surprised her anymore.
"What is it, Liberty," Mr. Simpson asked curiously.
"Well, if it's ok with everyone, I was wondering if I could do a sort of documentary on Emma. I would interview people to see how they felt about Emma and suicide. That way, people who never knew Emma before would know what a great person she was and people who were considering suicide would know how stupid it was take your own life. They would see how it affected everyone she was close to and maybe they would think twice. A kind of tribute to Emma and a warning to those thinking about suicide. I mean, that is, if it's ok with everybody." Liberty looked meekly around the room, waiting for someone to say something. At first, everyone was silent, thinking hard about what Liberty had just said. Then someone spoke.
"I, uh, I think that would be a good idea, Liberty," Manny said, smiling slightly. Liberty's eyes lit up. Slowly, everyone in the room begin agreeing that it would be a good idea.
"Okay, Liberty," Mr. Simpson said. "You have everyone's consent to do a documentary on Emma." Liberty smiled and looked at Manny.
"I won't let you down, I promise," she said. Manny nodded gratefully.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey, Manny, wait up!" Liberty called to Manny as the last bell sounded, signaling the end of school. Manny had been on her way out of school, but stopped to wait for Liberty.
"Hey, Liberty," she said, smiling a bit. Liberty smiled back.
"I was wondering," Liberty began, "if you'd be my first interview? I think it would really mean something if we started it out with the victi- Emma's best friend."
Manny thought for a while. Then she shook her head. "I don't think so," she said, sadly. "I, uh, I don't really want to talk about it yet."
"Oh," Liberty said disappointed. "Ok, I'll find someone else then." She smiled understandingly at Manny. "I was hoping I could have either you, Sean or Toby. Toby won't talk to anybody, though. Have you seen him? He's a zombie. Not even J.T. can get through to him. And Sean..... well, I heard right after you told them what happened to Emma he went into some kinda breakdown. He started throwing things and screaming and crying. The cops had to come to school and get him. He hasn't been back to school since. I hope he's alright. Well, I have to go. See you!" Liberty smiled again at Manny, before walking in the opposite direction to go home.
Manny thought hard about what Liberty had said. Poor Toby.... Poor Sean. Manny knew she'd have to go and talk to him. 'Not today, though,' she thought to herself. 'I'm not strong enough to do it today...'
A/N: Now tell me, is the story getting better or worse??? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!! Lolz. K, for the people who keep asking, Emma's reason for suicide and depression (which are the same thing) will come near or @ the end of the story. Not quite sure yet. It will definitely be a surprise and a shock to everyone, though. Someone led her to doing it. Who, you ask. Keep reading to find out! I know the suspense is killing you and I just love torturing people. ::evil grin:: lolz. REVIEW!!!! -Kris xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
P.S. Next chapter will be more on Liberty and her interview. Her first real interview will be Jimmy, though I think I'll make it to where she hears random students opinion, before really having the interview. Who's she interviewing after Jimmy? Why Spinner of course! But he's still another chapter away. And trust me, his interview will be very..... unSpinner-ish! Keep reading to find out what I mean. Love you all!