Discordant Melody

A Kurda Smahlt Story

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Fourth

Rubato

Behind Blue Eyes

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For the first time, we fought.

"Why are you trying to help him?!" I cried, barely stopping myself from stamping my foot. Kurda ignored me, shuffling through the heap of maps that permanently cluttered his desk.

"I'm helping him," he said steadily, "because it is stupid for one so young to be killed, just because he failed a stupid test that was too hard for him in the first place."

"Is that the only reason?" I asked, surprising myself with the bitterness in my voice.

"No, it is not," Kurda replied, still shuffling through the pages. "He is young. He is open-minded. He can be persuaded to our cause."

I crossed my arms. Vaguely, I could feel that ever-present jealousy bubbling in my chest.

"And?"

Kurda stopped his shuffling, and faced me slowly. He still held some maps in his hand. There was a slight frown on his face.

"No, Daegan," he said softly. "I do not love Darren."

He fell quiet, his beautiful blue eyes falling to the paper he held in his hand. A small sound, a little 'hmm' of satisfaction, emitted from his throat. Then he headed towards the open door.

"I won't be long," he called over his shoulder. Then he disappeared.

I was left alone in the room, staring at the doorway, my arms still crossed. The feeling that never went away was still there, bubbling and growling angrily in the pit of my stomach, as if I had eaten something that I did not agree with.

"You don't love him?" I asked the air, still glaring. "It doesn't seem like it."

Several weeks ago, a few days before my third Council began, Darren Shan arrived at Vampire Mountain. As soon as he stepped into our lives, I knew everything would change. The first night after he arrived, Kurda came to me, puffed and out of breath, saying something about a Little Person bringing news of the Lord of the Vampaneze. He was soon chased away by a horde of question-bearing vampires, all who wanted to know the truth of the rumours they were hearing.

I was to find out later that said Little Person, also known as Harkat Mulds, was a companion of Master Shan – who, I also later found out, was the first child to be blooded in over a century.

Over the next few days, something that had never happened before happened:

Kurda did not spend his days with me.

In the past, he took me with him everywhere he went – and by everywhere, I mean everywhere. Except for the toilet, but that's understandable. There are not many people out there in the world who enjoy having someone standing next to them while they're taking a crap.

But then suddenly, he didn't. I would see him, giving Darren a tour around the Mountain, or accompanying Darren and Seba Niles somewhere, or taking Darren to the Hall of Sports.

I was there the first time I saw Darren, doing a 'death match' on the bars with Arra and eight others, including Puck. As soon as I saw the flash of Kurda's blonde hair, my concentration wavered, giving one of the others a chance to knock me off. I was first to fall, landing heavily on my back. For a few moments, I lay there winded, blinking dazedly and wondering what the hell had happened to me.

Then I remembered.

Scrambling to my feet so that my head began spinning, I spotted them again, talking to Vanez about weapons.

Instead, I found myself studying this amazing Darren Shan that everyone seemed to be talking about.

He was a small, runty sort of kid, with messy dark hair and astonishingly large blue-green eyes in a childishly open face. His skin, like most of vampires I knew, was pale, almost deathly so, though there was a slight rosy tint to his cheeks. He was scruffy, in a good sort of way.

He's gonna grow up to be quite goo – But I stopped myself from finishing the thought, clenching my fists. Kurda would have noticed that too. It was almost no wonder he spent so much time with the boy…

Vaguely, I sensed Puck approach me, having been knocked off the bars. After Kurda, he was my best friend – we both totally devoted our selves to our sire, and both had elfish appearances that were often the butts of many jokes.

"He's not even good looking," I found myself saying before I could stop myself, crossing my arms angrily.

Sure he's not. Weren't you just thinking –

Shut up, you, I told myself angrily.

Beside me, Puck grinned.

"Jealous, are we?" He said. I turned to him, and raised an eyebrow when I saw he sported a bleeding nose. He grinned. "Arra got me a good un, she did."

"I'm not jealous," I growled, eyes flaring. Puck laughed, and tweaked my nose.

"Sure you're not," he said, still grinning. "That's why your oh-so-beautifully-green eyes have just gone five shades greener, little elf!"

While I accepted being called 'little elf' by Kurda – secretly loved it, in fact – I did not appreciate it coming from anyone else. I was just about to leap on the taller vampire to beat the stuffing out of him when I heard someone clear his throat behind me. My head whipped around while my body stayed frozen, one hand pulled back in preparation for a punch.

Kurda smiled, shaking his head.

"Now, now, little elf, that's not a nice way to treat your friends," he said cheerfully, then gestured to Darren, who was standing next to him. "This is Darren, by the way. Darren, this is Puck, and Daegan, a… close friend of mine."

I hardly noticed the stress he put on the word 'close'. Instead, I quickly dropped my arms. Darren grinned, sticking out his hand. I eyed it warily for a second, then shook it – though I shook it for a little longer and harder than etiquette required.

"Nice to meet you, Daegan," he said cheerfully, then repeated the same process with Puck.

When Kurda and Darren turned away to get introduced to Arra, Puck grinned, elbowing me hard in the ribs.

"He seems like nice kid," he said. I crossed my arms, watching Darren darkly.

"I don't like him."

Puck shook his head, still grinning.

"Remember, Daegan," he said, clapping me on the back so hard that I lost my balance slightly. I glared at him, but he continued. "You're Kurda's close friend – he won't go cheating on you with a kid any time soon. So stop being so jealous."

I grunted, my eyes never leaving the boy-vampire. I watched as Kurda dragged him one way, then another. Kurda argued with Vanez over Darren. Kurda gave Darren advice.

Darren Shan.

I did not like him, Sam I am. I do not like Darren Shan. Not a little, not a lot, not at all.

I knew he would bring trouble with him.

And trouble did come.

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Gavner was the first to die.

I found out later, when Kurda came back, blood soaking the front of his tunic and hands. He collapsed into his hammock, staring down at the crimson almost in disbelief.

I stood slowly from the desk, where I had been sitting, impatiently tapping a pen. I took in the blood, the expression, and knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" I asked quietly. He didn't answer immediately, instead taking a deep, steadying breath.

"I…"

And he told me. He told me exactly what happened. How he was leading Darren to freedom. How Gavner appeared. How they came across our vampaneze troops. How Gavner was killed. How Darren fell over the falls in the Hall of the Final Voyage.

My heart sank.

"I knew he is was…" I began softly. "From the moment I saw him, I knew he was..." But I trailed off. What did I think of him exactly? I knew I didn't like him – but could that have just been because I was… jealous?

"I have to look for him." Kurda said shortly.

"What, so you can kiss his ouchies better?" I asked sharply. Kurda looked up at me slowly, his eyes filled with a terrible sadness.

"What's wrong with you, Daegan? What have I done to you?" He asked, his voice quiet and wavering. I looked away.

"Nothing." I muttered softly.

Out in the hall, we heard a loud ruckus – people running, shouting, asking questions, and generally falling over each other. Quite a few times, we heard the name 'Shan' mentioned. No guesses what was happening. Kurda grinned slightly.

"Ah. So they have finally discovered his disappearance. I'd better go and wash myself. Then I'll ask the Princes if I can organise a search party of sorts to look for him."

"But – why?!"

Kurda looked at me evenly.

"To make sure he's dead."

I stared at him.

"We don't want him to wander back in and reveal our secret. Not when we're so close to achieving it."

"Can… I come with you?" I asked. Kurda smiled, standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"No, Daegan. You stay here. Make sure Glada understands that we are still going on with the plan."

"But -"

"Don't worry, elf," Kurda said, slipping his hand under my chin and lightly pulling my face up. "I'll take Granz and Puck with me. Nothing bad will come of." He kissed me lightly on my nose. And then, once more, he left the room, leaving me to muse by myself.

Why does he do this to me? I asked myself quietly. Why does he always leave me alone in the room?

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To our ultimate relief, Darren was never found, nor was Gavner's body. They were both deemed missing, presumed dead, and all but forgotten.

Then came the day.

The day of Kurda's investiture.

I remember the day well, one of the clearest memories I held. I mean, it wasn't every day that the man that you loved was to become a Prince.

And it wasn't every day that the man you loved was (rightfully) accused of treachery.

The Generals had lined up along the walls leading to the open doors of the Dome, weapons visible, like all the vampires that had shown up for the investiture. I stood next to Puck, beaming happily, as I watched the slow procession that included Kurda slowly make their way towards the Princes, who were at the front of the cavern, all three dressed regally.

I was mesmerised by Kurda – he looked resplendent in his loose white clothes, while his blonde hair was left out, the soft curtain of golden-silver framing his bowed, ethereal face. Out of all the Princes, I knew he would look the best. He would look the part. He was beautiful. I loved him.

And he loved me.

My heart was speeding, thumping, bursting, screaming with joy.

So mesmerised by the beauty of the man I loved that when the dirty, flour-covered boy stepped out from the walls, flanked by two wolves, it took me several moments to understand what was happening.

"Stop!" He cried.

Silence. Quickly followed by confusion.

As soon as Darren showed his face, Puck, Granz and Cyrus leaped into action. Puck rushed passed me, his spear raised and ready to strike – but he was soon dragged to the ground by another vampire, as was Cyrus. However, Granz, twirling his trademark knives swiftly as he made his way towards Darren, was quickly overpowered by the two wolves that had followed the boy. He was soon dead.

I began to move forward, in order to protect my love, but Kurda had opened his eyes and was looking directly at me. He shook his head so faintly that I almost didn't see it. But I could see it in his eyes – grave, sad. It was almost as if he had accepted what had happened.

Looking hopelessly towards Cyrus and Puck as they struggled with their guards, I lowered my weapon and bowed my head, defeated. He had told me not to do a thing. And, as I had once sworn, I did as he told me.

I would not protect him, no matter how much it killed me.

What followed was a blur to me. Darren accused Kurda of betrayal – though what he said was true, hatred towards the boy flared within me, and I wanted to leap forward and strangle the stupid child where he stood. Cyrus killed himself, slipping a knife through his own chest. And all the while, Kurda remained where he stood, watching the event unfold with sad, somewhat jaded eyes.

And then, came one of the many moments that would remain in my heart forever:

"You don't deny the charge?" The stern Prince Arrow shouted, his face livid. The tiniest flicker of a smirk spread over Kurda's face.

"I do not."

My stomach dropped, and before I could stop myself, I was screaming out to him.

"Kurda" I cried, tears of frustration welling in the corners of my eyes. "Kurda, no!"

But my screams were drowned out by the shouts and cries of those around me, all who were crying for Kurda's execution. Helplessly, I looked around me, the tears blurring my vision. Everyone was surging forward, punching their fists in the air in the barbaric manner that Kurda and I so despised as they bayed for the disgraced prince-to-be's blood.

Hatred boiled within me, an emotion even more intense than my jealousy ever was. It was funny. I had never really hated anyone before – heck, I didn't even hate Bruiser, even after all the pain he put me through. But now, seeing these people scream for Kurda to be killed, I…

I hated them.

Didn't they understand?

Couldn't they understand?

He had done it for them.

But they wanted to kill him for it.

He had tried to save them.

And yet they were going to strip his beautiful body naked for the whole world to see as they blindfolded him and laid him face-up in a cage, to be dropped onto a bed of stakes over and over again until he died.

For the first time in thirty years I hated what I had become.

I hated vampires.

But most of all…

I hated Darren Shan.

I looked back up to Kurda. Even through my tears, I could see he was looking straight at me, his expression forlorn.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed.

A small smile tugged at my lips, and I shook my head.

"No," I mouthed back. "I'm the one who's sorry."

Kurda and Puck were soon dragged away by guards, and slowly the rest of the vampire population were told to leave. I followed, feeling –

Numb.

Empty.

Helpless. Oh so helpless.

Ruined.

Everything was ruined.

Kurda, my love, my beautiful was going to die…

And I had done nothing, nothing, to stop them taking him away.

I had betrayed him.

I could still see him, his pale face framed by his golden hair, his blue eyes staring at me forlornly. They were sad. They were hurt.

They were betrayed.

Betrayed by me, because I had done as he had told me and done nothing to protect him.

"Daegan," someone called. I turned around slowly to see Vanez striding towards me, his eyes dark. He came to a stop beside me, and quickly looked around, as if checking to make sure no one was listening. Everyone around us was too busy talking vehemently and growling at each other, all of them describing what they would do if they could get their hands on Kurda and Puck. I closed me eyes, trying to block them out, and focused on Vanez instead. "You were close with Kurda – actually, I'd even heard you and he were mates. Did you know anything about this?"

For a second, I thought about telling him. Telling him that I did know, and that I was part of the whole plot as well, so take me, take me away with him and let me be executed with him, so that we could stay together for the rest of eternity…

But the words wouldn't come out of my throat. I opened my mouth, making obscure sounds. Finally, the tears overwhelmed me, and I was crying again, shaking my head. Vanez grunted, and patted me on the back as kindly as his stiff, military-trained body could allow him.

"I understand, Daegan," he said softly. "I feel betrayed by him as well. I was even stupid enough to believe he was my friend. That just proves it – you can trust no one."

And then he walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the hall, trying in vain to wipe away my tears.

"No, you don't understand," I said through gritted teeth. "He's not the one who betrayed us. I was the one who betrayed him."

I felt so…

Empty.

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A.N That kinda felt a bit rushed. It was, wasn't it? But then again, I didn't want to copy it straight from the book. So I had to make it rushed. Right?

Hehe. If you read book six again, just after Kurda gets dragged away, the Princes and Darren are talking about if there are any more conspirators. I find it funny that they believe there weren't, and yet I've made another one.

Whee, the sugar and lack of sleep are getting to me.

-dies-

S-A: Yay, I'm being stalked by someone! You make a-me feel so a-loved. Ehehehehe. And I'll try to put more of my grotty sense of humour into these fics of mine. Don't know if it'll work, though. O.o

Die Kikyo Die: Thanks! Ya, I did get it from FMA (teh W00TNESS!) and I just luuuurve that saying. 'Toka koka…' Or however the hell they spell it in Japanese. XD –beats that face up for overuse- And I tried not to put the other fics into this one as much as possible, even though they are linked. More will come eventually. Hehehe.

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Next Chapter:

Fifth

Dissonance

Emotion Sickness

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The freezing cold water of the 'showers' soon allowed me to get a reign over my emotions. I just stood there, allowing the water to tumble down my body. Vaguely, I could hear other vampires walk in and out, also cleaning themselves of blood. As they did they shouted and sang victoriously, and for the second time that day, I was sickened.

Sickened at the barbarity of my people. Whoever came into their path, they would slaughter, innocent bystander or no. Kill first, ask questions later, if they were innocent – oh well.

Disgusted, I stepped out of the shower, quickly towelled myself dry, dressed, and left.

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