Alright, everyone!! my final chapter!! i'm sooo sorry for the long delay in producing this....hehe...i'm really a procrastinator....anyway, i have so many ppl to thank, allmy faithful reviewers for throwing in a word or two and a few friends who's been really generous in their encouragement......no thanks to my bro though, that brat only knows how to criticize my stuff.....grrr.....
okie....enough nonsense now......i fervently hope that all readers are willing to leave a few comments.... anything would do!! anything to keep that certain flame for fanfic-writing burning!! thankies sooo much......hugs
Chapter 5
An echoing clatter shattered the momentary silence of the atmosphere. Megumi, Sano and Kaoru exchanged knowingly looks. The noise explaining Yahiko's absence perfectly, there was not the slightest lingering doubt that he was up to mischief of some kind. Besides snoring his head off and stuffing his face with food, Yahiko's daily activities included breeding slugs in Kaoru's futon and giving Sano a haircut when the latter was drunk. Another understanding look between them signified the silent agreement to strip Yahiko in front of Tsubame if the need arises.
Yahiko's not so popular head suddenly popped into view as he trudged into the room with difficulty, not a very surprising fact considering the amount of saucepans and frying pans balanced treacherously in his arms…….KAORU'S pots and pans. Kaoru's eyes narrowed. This looked really suspicious.
"What you planning to do with those, Yahiko-chan?" Sano removed a finger from his nose to poke Yahiko dubiously.
"Arrghhh!! Don't you dare lay your filthy fingers on me!! And don't call me that!" bellowed Yahiko, dropping all the pans in the process of waving his arms in a fit of fury. The only one to receive a soft landing, the largest saucepan of all landed right smack on Sano's big toe. The unfortunate toe instantly turned red while Sano's face adopted a shade of purple. His jaw dropped wide open but the most he could manage was a very girlish squawk
"WAHAHAHA….uh-oh," Yahiko abruptly ceased laughing, hurriedly wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as he witnessed Sano deliberately advancing slowly while brandishing the largest frying with fury written all over his face
"&#&$!! Why you….. ," muttered Sanosuke under his breath. Swinging his weapon with full force, he was rewarded with a loud thump. Sano grinned with satisfaction. That oughta teach the brat a lesson. Hey wait…there were no yelps of pain, no cries of anguish nor wails of agony. Only silence…..
"He couldn't have been that weak, could he? One small hit like that couldn't have knocked him out cold," The incredulity in Sano's tone was evident as he lowered the humongous frying pan. Instead of the sprawled out figure of Yahiko Myoujin, the sight which greeted him the disfigured face of Kenshin Himura, with a smashed nose that looked as if someone had try to thrust it into his head. The grinning face peeking out from behind the pitiful-looking samurai evidently thought it was a pretty good idea to seek shelter behind Kenshin and even had the cheek to stick its tongue out at Sano.
"Yahiko……" Yahiko stiffened as he caught sight of both Kenshin's sweethearts rolling up their sleeves and smiling sweetly at him…..a little TOO sweetly.
"Miss Kaoru, if it's not too much trouble, would you mind holding Yahiko for JUST a little while?" asked Megumi with a perfectly innocent look. A syringe appeared out of nowhere and Megumi proceeded to fill it with some nasty-looking green liquid., humming softly to herself.
"It'll be my pleasure, Megumi," Kaoru grabbed Yahiko, with still the impeccable smile frozen on her lips. "But what do you have in store for this sweet little boy here?"
"Oh, this?" Megumi waved the syringe about carelessly. "Oh, I dunno…..we'll just have to wait and see what happens, don't we?? Ohohohohoho!!" Foxy ears sprang out all of a sudden.
"AHHHH!!! Save me, Sanosuke!! HELP!!!!" wailed Yahiko as he struggled to free himself from Kaoru's grasp. The syringe approached him, its tip pointing directly at Yahiko as it reflected the sunlight with a wicked gleam. Sanosuke merely shrugged helplessly. He was not going to risk his neck saving some pest who certainly deserved a lesson.
"HOLD IT!!" Yahiko twisted out of Kaoru's grasp, knocking the syringe from Megumi's clenched fingers. It sailed harmlessly through the open window and imbedded itself firmly in a merrily chirping sparrow's butt. The chirping ceased immediately as the unfortunate bird plummeted towards the ground, ending up on the sandy surface with a loud plonk. Yahiko gulped. That was certainly a close shave. He drew himself up to his full height in a pathetic show of dignity. "I, Yahiko Myoujin, shall now create history by reviving the legendary Battousai the manslayer from his deep slumber!""
Kaoru, Megumi and Sano stared at each other incredulously. "BWAHAHAHA… ……WAHAHAHA!!!!" All three went sprawling on the ground, laughing their heads off while clutching their aching stomachs. Sanosuke pounded his chest with a fist and managed to choke out something about pigs being able to fly.
"You just wait and see," fumed Yahiko as he armed himself with the most menacing-looking saucepans. "THIS will have him springing up from bed in no time!!"
CLASH!! BANG!! CRASH!! CLANG!! Saucepans collided with one another in a terrific explosion of noise, making a din loud enough to awaken the dead. Two cats purring on the fence leapt 6 inches into the air with loud screeches before ending up on the ground with their 4 legs pointed towards the high heavens. A squirrel scampering up a tree trunk turned into stone and landed on the ground with a thud.
"Shut up this instant, you idiot!!!!!" THUMP!! THUD!! Rotten eggs thrown by furious neighbours burst upon contact with Yahiko, with more and more eggs following in quick succession.
""OW!! OW!! STOP IT, I TELL YOU!!!" Yahiko paused with his banging deal with the foul, stinking liquid which was threatening to drip into his eyes. He surveyed his vicinity with some degree of surprise. Kaoru's head was buried deep in the dojo's wooden floor while Sanosuke's whole head had disappeared into the ceiling, his limbs dangling down like those of a stuff doll. Megumi, on the other hand, had 2 large frying pans clapped over her ears, her lips drawn back in frozen terror. Only Kenshin seemed unaffected by the chaos that had erupted, although the sight of blood trickling out both his ears might suggest some form of permanent brain damage.
Kaoru yanked her head out from the jagged wooden planks as Sano freed his head and Megumi removed the firmly etched frying pans with some difficulty. It would be underestimating it to say that they looked mad, words cannot describe the fury written all over their faces.
One look at Yahiko, however, changed all that. "WAKAKAKA!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!" The three collapsed with tears streaming down their cheeks at the sight of an egg-splattered Yahiko with yolk pouring out of his nose and ears.
"Arrghhh…..you just watch out!!"
GROWL!! Everyone started, alarmed by the unexpected sound. "What was that?" whispered Megumi, her voice filled with uncertainty. Kaoru crept closer towards Kenshin, trembling in fear.
GROWL!! GROWL!!
"Ahhhhh! It's Kenshin's stomach rumbling!!" Kaoru's expression darkened with worry. 'Poor little dearie, suffering from an empty stomach!! Oh, why didn't he finish up that chicken earlier???" The others sweatdropped.
"Oh, right!!" Kaoru brightened considerably, snapping her fingers in delight. "I've still got miso soup!! And enough for everyone too!!" Megumi's, Sano's and Yahiko's eyeballs almost popped out in sheer terror. Too late. Kaoru had scampered off to the kitchen.
"Now where in the world did they go?" grumbled Kaoru, in a huff when she returned to find the dojo door wide open and the wind billowing desolately. If she had only opened her eyes a little wider, the three heads peering cautiously over the window sill would have failed to escape unnoticed.
Kaoru turned her attention towards the once legendary manslayer. "How's my poor little sweetie-pie? Don't you worry, some of Kaoru's homemade miso soup will make you feel better in no time!!" She beamed as she deftly scooped a generous portion of soup from the steaming pot. The smell was more than unbearable. The three peeping faces were contorted in agony with hands clutching their respective throats.
"Poor Dear Ken," choked Megumi between gasps of air, trying to hold back tears. Yahiko sighed despondently as he speculated Kenshin Himura's bleak future while Sano could only shake his head in despair.
"Say AHH…..that's a good boy…." Kaoru pried Kenshin's mouth wide open and deposited a whole bowl of evil-smelling miso soup into it. "There you go dearie…..want a second helping?" Kaoru patted Kenshin's cheek affectionately.
The three stooges outside were already on their knees, hands lifted towards the heavens in prayer to the great gods above. The least they could do for poor Kenshin now was to wish him a swift and painless ending. Death was inevitable. Nothing could change that fact.
"CHOKE!! SPLUTTER!! COUGH!! WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT??" gasped a suddenly awake and sitting upright Kenshin, struggling to repel the foul-tasting liquid from his mouth. "Quick!!! I need Listerine!!!"
With a shriek of delight, Kaoru flung herself onto Kenshin. "You're awake!! Oh my God…my miso soup did it!!" squealed Kaoru, going all sparkly-eyed while clutching a spiral-eyed Kenshin.
"WHAT?? Kenshin's awake?? After the miso soup?!" Sano, Megumi and Yahiko burst into the dojo simultaneously. "Kenshin? Is this really you?" Sano poked him in the ribs while Yahiko twisted his ear.
"Oro? Oro? Oro?"
"Finally!! You guys are back!! Where did you disappear to??" The three were confronted by a very indignant Kaoru. Without waiting for an answer, she babbled on enthusiastically. "You all MUST try my miso soup! It's simply marvelous! Why, it even woke Kenshin up! This has GOT to be…"
"Uhhh…Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin's bewildered voice broke off Kaoru's train of thought. "In case you haven't noticed, Sano, Megumi and Yahiko seemed to have taken off with your miso soup."
"WHAT?! COME BACK HERE, YOU IDIOTS!!!" screamed Kaoru, rushing off in hot pursuit. She reached the cliff just in time to catch a glimpse of the three frantically pouring the remains of the miso soup into the river below.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOoooooOOOOOoooOOO!!!!! MY MISO SOUP!!!!!!"
The following day's headlines : VILLAGERS BAFFLED OVER MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF FISHES IN NEARBY RIVER. INVESTIGATIONS REGARDING DUMPING OF TOXIC CHEMICALS UNDERWAY.
THE END.