Only two chapters left! Here's the next one. My apologies to Moreta Lynx, who I understand actually WORKS at McDonald's. I hate McDonald's. I'm sorry if this bugs you but...uh, I'm not changing it. Because I hate McDonald's.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Burger King. Sigh.

Reviews

Infamous One: I'm glad you find Bill so incredibly irritating that you want to squeeze him til his eyes pop out, then you take them and crush them into a little pulp and squeeze his puffy head until--
Uh, yeah. Sorry. If you hate Bill, that means that I can characterize! w00t! Mad skills!
Dangit, I wish I'd thought of throwing him into the Sarlacc....

Lightbulby: Heh heh heh, my story is like a drug. Hmm, heroine or crack?? Or maybe marijuana....
NO! I am NOT a druggie!

XVI. Bill Gets Revenge on McDonald's (And a Paycheck!)

"You stole three years of my life making me flip patties and sell flaming balls of grease to Hutts who really didn't need the extra body fat. I had to dump all my morals for this lousy job, and then you don't even care when some guy wants to BUY me? And you don't even bother to send along my last paycheck? I want my minimum wage of five and a half credits an hour, and I want it NOW!"

"Hmm. I like your roariness, but it's a bit wordy. Remember, when it comes to angry speeches, less is more."

Fett was helping Bill rehearse for his meeting with McDonald's management staff on Tatooine. Yes, that's right, Boba will not be dragging the Fettmobile through any more hyperspace courses or potentially damaging turbulence caused by a planet's population having, erm...side effects from beans. Poor Boba needs to face his fate. Of course, only the author knows what it bes! BWAHAHAHAHA!

(cough) Erm, anyway...

"Oh, no, wait! I'm getting a vision! OK...we make a big sign that says "We Suck: Go Eat at Burger King" and hang it on their store front!" Fett illustrated with sweeping hand gestures.

Bill looked at Boba as impertinently as he dared. "You know, that is the worst idea for revenge I have ever heard."

"Oh, what do you know about revenge! I'm the bounty hunter, aren't I? Besides, it was my idea." Boba stroked his blaster with his gloved fingertips.

"...which means we'll use it! I'll keep them distracted while you, uh, hang it."

"I'll need to go make it, then..." Boba left the room in search of paints and such. Because, you know, EVERY bounty hunter equips his backup super speed ship with arts and crafts, for those long days with the prisoners...

"Oh golly gee, a creative project." Bill sighed, placing his hand over his forehead. Why did he let himself get bought? He wasn't ready for this kind of...artsy-ness.

Oh yeah. Because he has a gun.

My sign p'zones Bill's idea! Heh heh heh heh...

Boba was admiring the loverly sign he had created with hours of delicate care. He rolled the paper up and put it in a corner until he needed it. Which turned out to be 5 minutes later when the Fettmobile landed on Tatooine.

"Weeeeeeeee're off to see the manager, the manager of Tatooine McDonalds! Because because because because becaaaaaaaaaaause...because he owes me money! Hey Your Lordship, d'you think that should be my theme song?"

"Shut up, Bill." Fett said through clenched teeth, walking beside the skipping Twi'lek through the streets of Mos Eisley. "Before I shut you up."

"Yes, sir!" Bill saluted in a very idiotic fashion and continued his skipping.

"I'm hyper! I'm hyper! I'm hyper--"

"Did you get into my bread again?"

"Noooooooooo, I'm hyper, not sleepy-drugged! Maybe I ate some hippy SUGAR!"

Fett muttered something under his breath having vaguely to do with not having rats on the Fettmobile and perhaps rewiring the mousetraps for nosy Twi'leks.

At the McDonald's Bill went inside to rant and rave whilst Boba went about chuckling evilly and attaching his sign to the store front. People were looking at him a little strangely as they devoured their Chicken McNuggets, but all he had to do was readjust his blaster and they'd stop staring. Fett fashioned a little drawstring so that he could pull the sign open, then squatted behind a bench, waiting for Bill to emerge.10 minutes later he appeared, covered in something red but grinning and clasping a bunch of credit chips.

"Bill! Did you finally take some initiative and kill someone?"

Bill looked around, bewildered, before spotting Boba crouched behind the stone bench. "Oh, there you are. No, I didn't kill anyone, I just got squirted with a whole butt-load of ketchup. but I got me money--

"--which you owe me 50 credits of."

"Oh, fine," he grumbled and dished out a few chips. "Take it. Where's the sign?"

"Right here. I've got a pull line, watch this!" Boba stood back for dramatic effect and tugged on the line, revealing...

...a hysterical Bill dropped to the floor, rolling around and grasping his stomach. "What the..." he couldn't even speak.

"What? What happened?" Fett stepped back further to look at the sign and instantly was the problem. The paint had smudged, and instead of "We Suck: Go Eat at Burger King" the sign now said "We Suck Goat" with an oddly shaped splotch at the end.

"CURSES!"