Summary: Severus Snape has an accident in the potions classroom right before classes start in Harry Potter's sixth year, and an unfortunate house elf is hit. Thankfully, Severus is okay…but…the house elf has a predicament. It's soul is residing inside of a patch of mold, and someone else's soul is residing in her body. Not a typical self-insertion, NOT a Mary-Sue. Please R&R!!!

To say Albus Dumbledore was quite peeved at the realization he did not know thata potion had exploded resulting in a house elf with memory problems was an understatement. He was furious. And there was only an hour till the feast! His eyes opened again, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Severus. Are you sure?"

Severus nodded, briskly pushing a loose lock of black hair behind his ear. "She didn't know where she was, what she was doing, or who I was."

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, was about to lose his temper for the first time this year. His slender fingers migrated to his temples as his headache increased tenfold. Blue eyes found black "Where is she?"

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "Headmaster, shouldn't you-"

"Hospital wing. Silly me…" He pushed himself up, bones creaking irritatingly. "To the hospital wing…" He was tempted to lift his deep blue robes up to around his knees, shriek like a girl, and run down the 'up' stairs that led to his office while yodeling something along the lines of "Re-ti-er-ment yoohoo yoohoo!"

But he didn't. He lifted his robes to his ankles, sighed, and said, "Come along Severus." Severus followed obediently, albeit grudgingly. He knew Severus hated orders, which was why he gave them so frequently when he really could just request things. He gracefully descended the stairs, Severus following noiselessly behind.

After five minutes of complete silence, they reached the Hospital Wing doors. "Omecay niay."

His Potions Master gave him a look that could melt steel. But Albus was reinforced steel and would not melt so easily. Following close behind the irate and now irritated professor, Albus migrated to the only bed with shut curtains. Singing was heard from inside.

"67 barrels of crack by the wall, 67 barrels of crack, gulp one down, pass it around, 66 barrels of crack by the wall! 66 barrels of crack by the wall-" The voice stopped when Severus flung open the curtains. Albus glimpsed green cat-eyes then a gaping mouth as the elf screamed. "I could have been naked!! Better luck next time, dear. Whozzat?"

Severus turned to him, eye twitching with a life of it's own. Albus felt his lips form a smile, and he straightened his hat. "Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of this school."

The house elf slowly emerged from the blankets, and Albus noticed she was wearing a hospital robe. He raised an eyebrow at the bustling Mediwitch, and said softly "She has clothing, Poppy?"

Poppy, who was picking up random potions off of shelves and reorganizing things with the air of someone ailed by obsessive compulsive disorder replied, "Oh, she's not a house elf."

Albus frowned, and the "house elf" nodded in agreement, her ears flapping comically. "Young lady, do you care to explain?"

Now that he thought about it, the house elf did look more human than normal, not counting the glowing green cat eyes. Her nose was a bit shorter than normal for a house elf, and pointy, and her mouth was tiny with plump lips. Her ears were long and pointed, and she had short brown hair that stopped an inch from her scalp. Skin color was pretty much normal, but a bit lighter, a more milk chocolate than dark chocolate. Of course, Albus always had to bring up candies some time. Better now than later, right?

He brought himself out of his reverie to hear her say in a high pitched, squeaky voice, "I don't know how I got here, all I remember is tripping and falling on my face, then I woke up and I was in a dungeon."

Rubbing his temples, Albus spoke again, his patience thinning. "Were you a house elf before this, or not?"

She blinked. "Oh, no, certainly not! I was a human! Tomorrow's my birthday, and I'm turning fifteen! Or…I was…turning…fifteen…" she trailed off, the corners of her mouth turning down in what Albus guessed was a pout. Or maybe a desolate frown…or maybe just a trick of his imagination. Her mouth was much too tiny to tell.

Severus stepped up behind Albus, immediately reminding him that he was there. "Headmaster…there is a half-hour till the feast. What will we do with her?"

Albus frowned deeply, and dug his fingers into his temples with feverish vigor. Ach, the headache… "We will keep her in here until time comes more freely, and I am able to question her further and with greater specifics."

Nodding, Severus whirled around and stormed back to his dungeon room.

"Good night, Severus."

The door slammed shut.

It was going to be an interesting year.

"Welcome, welcome, to another year at Hogwarts. I have a few words and warnings to dish out before our brains become too befuddled with good food and drink."

Minerva McGonagall watched her beloved Headmaster give yet another speech. She always wondered how he so easily spoke, so fluently and without practice. She had to practice her speech for the first years at least three times before she actually met them. And to think she'd been doing this for thirty years…

"First, I'd like to tell all of the first years that the Forbidden Forest at the edge of the grounds is, as the name suggests, Forbidden. Secondly, I'd like none of you to leave the immediate vicinity of the castle without a group of friends or an escort, as most of you well know, the Dark Lord Voldemort" There were assorted gasps, and someone at the Hufflepuff table fainted. "has indeed returned, and we have gained information" Minerva turned her eyes to Severus, who was watching the children with a mask of indifference only he could pull off. "that he is quite ready to kidnap children as hostages. Do not be afraid, for as long as we are inside of Hogwarts he cannot reach us. Thirdly, I must warn you all that if you eat too much you will, eventually, pass out halfway to your dormitory. So eat as much as possible, just don't eat more than necessary!"

With a clap of his hands, food appeared on the tables. The golden platters and goblets in front of the teachers filled and empty golden dishes were placed directly in front of them. The house elves outdid themselves again. Scooping up some of the mashed potatoes, broccoli and meat piesMinerva filled her plate with an even amount of food. Flitwick, who sat next to her, said in a shrill voice not unlike a house elf's, "Still on that diet, Minerva?"

It was times like these when Minerva wondered if Ravenclaws were really all what they were cracked up to be. Talk about tactless, that comment. "No, Professor." Steely blue eyes turned on Flitwick, and she tapped her hat to keep it straight as it rested on her thick black hair. "I've just become accustomed to eating this much and if I eat any more I will most likely be sick." She turned back to her meal.

Professor Sinistra was to the right of Flitwick, and she said jovially, her blonde curls bouncing around her heart-shaped face, "Why do you never let your hair down, Minerva?"

It was the same question every year. Was it her fault if she did not like her hair hanging to her tailbone and flying every-which-way? Tactfully ignoring that comment, she turned to Dumbledore and said, "How is Harry?"

With a point of his finger, Dumbledore directed her attention to a laughing boy with round glasses and twinkling green eyes. His black hair had grown to an absurd length, but it was oddly fetching on him. It framed his face like his glasses framed his eyes, and flipped up and out and everywhere at the bottom, which was around his chin. He had grown a little, but was still that scrawny seeker she knew and, well...loved.

Minerva finished her food and looked around the Great Hall. The sky was a clear black with stars shining like diamonds. Bringing her eyes to the Slytherin table, she saw something that surprised her. Draco Malfoy, who usually sucked up attention like a dry sponge, was sitting alone, hunched over in his chair, and poking his food around desolately. She shrugged. Must be a new attention tactic, as around six girls were trying to talk to him.

At the Hufflepuff table, the children laughed, talked, and jovially greeted their friends. Fellowship like that was not found in such quantity in any other house but Hufflepuff.

At the Ravenclaw table quite a few intellectual conversations were taking place. She smiled, thinking "Aw, look at the smart kids plot."

The Gryffindor table was by far the most raucous of the lot, yelling across the table, greeting old friends, telling loud (and most often crude) jokes, and just being loud in general. Ah, that was her old house, and the one she was head of.

Smiling to herself, Minerva picked up one solitary éclair, placed it in her dish, cut it into quarters, and served herself the luscious treat.

Oh, dear. Now she had gone and reminded herself of Lucius Malfoy. She dropped her éclair and placed her index finger between her eyes, mourning at her sudden loss of appetite. She glanced back at the heir of the Malfoy fortune and scowled. She did not like that boy, and wasn't going to pretend to.

Malfoy lifted his gaze to meet hers, as it had previously rested on an interesting part of the white tablecloth, and he smirked nastily. And yet somehow, he remained dead sexy. Whoa…did she just think that?! But another part of her mind nagged at her, "He's just like Lucius. Sexy to the core."

Obviously, various other Slytherin girls thought so, because sighs and swoons echoed across the table. One, Pansy Parkinson she believed, had the stupidity to faint.

Stupid children. Too sexy, and they knew it.

She didn't know what was worse; those who were sexy and knew it, or those who weren't and thought they were.

Flitwick tried to begin a conversation with her, leaning too close for comfort.

The latter.

A/N: AHAH! Two chapters already…I'm trying to get inspiration for "Serpentine Angel" but it's not coming to me…If ANYONE has ANY ideas…please enlighten me. This story, however, I'm not jumping into headfirst. I have a general idea of what the plot is, and I'm hoping it's a good plot. I know for sure it's going to fluctuate daily. I can never make up my mind… :D I love you all. Oh, and by the way, the thing about Malfoy...I couldn't resist.

Please review! And…er…read, but it's sorta too late for that.

Next Chapter:

"Oh, but, Hermione, you have to understand! Gryffindor boys are handsome, yes, but only Slytherins are sexy! Sirius Black, like my mother said, was an exception to the rule."--Pavarti Patil