Ellie woke up with a severe hangover. Up to that point, her mother had almost completely turned her off drinking in general. She'd had a very occasional cooler before, but nothing more, so the wine hadn't exactly agreed with her. She was more than thankful that it was a Sunday.
Ashley, of course, wanted all the details. She was on Ellie's front step within two minutes of getting out of church. She didn't even wait to get inside. "Spill," she said, the moment Ellie opened the door.
"There's not much to say," Ellie protested. "Friday, he took me out for a nice meal. Yesterday, I treated him to the same." Ashley rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say? We got along well enough. It's not like we would do anything major after two nights."
"Uh huh," Ashley said. "Well, was he a total idiot? Did he force his tongue down your throat more than a dozen times?"
Ellie shook her head. "I'm not talking about it," she said. "He was a gentleman. That's all I need to say. Tell me about the wedding, instead. Sorry I couldn't make it. But from the sounds of things, your mom was more than happy not to have me there."
"The wedding was a disaster," Ashley said. She continued talking and Ellie promptly used the opportunity to tune her out. Her head was pounding, and invasive questions were the last thing she needed. She was just glad Ashley hadn't picked up on anything to do with the alcohol. She eventually succeded in forcing the other girl home, or over to Craig's, or wherever it was that she went. Ellie was a touch beyond caring at that particular moment. She knew she should do some homework, but it seemed like too big a task. Instead she returned to the couch and flipped on the television.
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Ellie was fine. If Emma had said so, it must be true. A part of Sean was glad to hear it, of course, but a larger, jealous part, a part of himself that he hated, had hoped she was at least slightly miserable. Maybe love wasn't bitter, but he sure was.
He knew he had to deal with everything if he ever hoped to win her back. The past day, he'd let himself think about what had happened for a very brief window of time. He knew that in most cases, counselling would be appropriate, but he also knew that he could work through it himself. Sacrificing his independance would, in his case, only make things worse.
He'd kept all the articles he could find, although he never read most of them, or even looked at them for more than a brief moment. It was there that he started--with a picture of Rick, in fact. He'd cut out Rick's obituary, and tucked it among the other articles. He knew it was time to face the image--time to face the bitter reality of what he'd done.
He waited, as usual, until he was halfway along the length of the beach. He perched on a rock, took the crumpled paper out of his pocket, and finally, let his eyes rest on Rick's face. And he cried. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, but it never got any easier. He hated dealing with emotion--he supposed he and Ellie were alike that way--but he did it anyway. He knew if he didn't, it would continue to eat at him for an eternity.
He sat there until his tears subsided, then took one last look at the obituary. He approached the edge of the water and waited for a strong wind, then set the paper on his open palm, and let it flutter away into the water. He knew he wasn't healed--far from it--but it was a start. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he knew that one day, he would be okay.
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Ellie found herself back in Sauve's office first thing Monday morning as per their agreement. She mentioned the dates with Spinner, although left out the details, and Sauve raised an eyebrow.
"What?" Ellie said. "I did what told me. I moved on. Dated. Got involved with something other than my pitiful self. I thought you'd be happy."
"Are you?" Sauve asked quietly. She nodded when Ellie didn't respond. "That's what I thought. The point of this wasn't to please me, Ellie. It was to try and cheer you up a bit. You can't dive in head first. I wanted you to test the waters a little bit. Flirt, maybe. Go on one casual date. Or let your friends take you out somewhere. I didn't plan on you jumping into an immediate relationship. Admit it or not, two dates in the span of two days is not casual."
Ellie shrugged. "Should have been more clear then. I did exactly what you told me. I'm fine, okay? I don't need any more advice."
"Can I see your arms, then, please?" Ellie shook her head. "Didn't think so. If you're still feeling the need to hurt youtself, you're not fine." She glanced at her watch. "Wednesday at lunch, we'll see how you're doing. If nothing else, it will break up your latest relationship a little bit." Ellie rolled her eyes, but nodded. She grabbed her bag, headed to the bathroom, and did just what she wasn't supposed to do.
It was a good thing she did her own laundrey.